"Thank you so much," I leave my seat to grab everything and put them in the mini fridge, but someone else enters the room.

I check who just came in, but when I catch sight of Matthew, my smile grows even wider. "Oh, hey," he holds a bag down but seems uncomfortable in front of Luca. "Hey. I'm so happy to see you," I show how much his presence means, but he peeks at the tall man. "Hey, uhm, am I bothering? I can come back another day if—"

"No, you're not. I'm glad you came," I give him a hug, surprised but so delighted to know he decided to be here for Jungkook. "Really? I'm happy then," he awkwardly answers and hands me the bag. "I know you've been having a hard time, I brought some peach juice, grape milk, and rice crisps for you," he opens to show me how much it contains. "Oh, and...some pads, just in case you need it while Jungkook is...I mean, can't...just yeah," he struggles to speak to me, acting the same way as when he had to do a presentation in front of the class.

I grin and take it. "Thank you so much, you both brought so much stuff at the same time," I chuckle and get everything on my seat, and he comes closer to look at Jungkook.

"You're Matthew, right?" Luca questions him, and he nods. "Yeah. Y/n talked about me?" he glances at me. "Jungkook did the most," he slides his hands in his pockets and gets a chair to sit down as I am putting everything in the cabinet next to me. I only keep one can of grape milk to drink, still not feeling even hungry.

"I did understand that he's not a big fan of me," he laughs, with discomfort and leans back on the window sill. "That's not true, don't say that," I get those thoughts out of his head. "He's always very grateful when you're here for me."

"Good to know," he mumbles and takes another look at him, but he quickly glances away, and his eyes end on me after a few seconds. "Have you eaten anything yet?" he puts his hands in the pockets of his denim jacket. "Not yet."

"Well, now's the perfect timing..." he suggests to do, showing some care as always. "After I'm done drinking this," I do not promise to do it but tell him what he wants to hear, and I bring my can down to my thighs.

"Can we...talk outside for a minute, please?" he asks, seeming very bothered about something. I nod and take another sip before standing up. "Keep an eye on Jungkook," I smile at Luca, and he confirms he will, so I follow Matthew outside of the room and close the door.

"What is it?" I look up into his eyes, and he bites his lips. "I wanted to make sure...like...I know it's been tough for you, and I'm worried. I mean, it's maybe because we don't see each other every day anymore, but I've never seen you feel that way before, so I wanted to check up on you in real life, and not just by text."

"Well...since that tube is not in his throat anymore and that I know his state is improving, I feel much better, but it's still hard to feel like he's not...he's not here. As if he was not real...I don't know," I shrug after looking away, and I set my eyes back on his. "I'm fine though, Luca is here every day, so it helps me stay optimistic and positive."

His lips curve up as he seems very attentive to everything I tell him. "I'm happy to hear it. You should eat more though, you need to be in perfect shape and full of energy for when he wakes up."

"Yeah, I know," I understand that starving will not help, despite barely having an appetite. He does not add anything more but only gazes at me, and I hug my body. "Did you have anything to tell me?"

"I...Just wanted to see how you're doing, how Jungkook's doing...Oh, and I wanted to show you something," he takes his phone out and makes me very serious, so I wait for him to reveal what it is, and in short seconds, he finds it.

"Look," he comes right next to me and shows the picture on his phone screen. "My mom adopted her just yesterday, and she called her Baby."

"Oh my— Is that a Ragdoll?" I gape in front of the cute, fluffy kitten and instantly envy him. "Yes, my mom loves them so much, so she's her new baby now," he smiles and shows another picture of her, and I melt in front of it. "I love them so much too. She's so tiny and pretty, I want the same."

"They're pretty expensive, so my mom had to save some money for her, but you can come to my house to take care of her while my mom's at work if you want. She's very cuddly," he turns his phone off to put it back in his pocket. "I won't be able to leave without stealing her though," I joke with him. "I'd adopt one for you if I could, but my mom will kill us both if you steal her baby."

"I'd understand her," I chuckle but wish Jungkook was awake to tell him about it. I would love to adopt a kitten and take care of it with him. This would be our baby, and I am pretty sure it would make his soft side show even more. "Yeah, but anyway," he hides his hands back in his pockets. "I should probably go now. I hope Jungkook will wake up today, and if not, very soon."

"Me too," I rub my eye, hoping for the same but feeling like this is more a dream than a possibility. "Take care of yourself as much as you take care of him," he touches my back and rubs it. "He wouldn't want the opposite."

"I'm trying," I nod, and he hugs me, being very affectionate and reassuring. "If Luca's not here tomorrow and that you need someone to be here, call me, and I'll be there, okay?"

For some reason, I cannot answer. Nothing goes out of my mouth, the smile I was forcing until now fades away, and I break down.

I cover my face to not let him see it, but he understands and holds me even more tightly. "You're a strong girl, y/n. It's going to be okay, Jungkook is tough too, so he'll go through it and wake up very soon just to see you again."

I dry my tears the best I can and look away. "I'm sorry. I'm so tired, everything makes me sensitive."

"No, don't apologize. I'd be in a much worse state than you are if I were in your shoes, so don't say sorry. Cry as much as you need, it's better than keeping everything inside," he pats my head but makes me miss Jungkook even more with this gesture that I am used to receiving from him all the time.

"Look," he cups my face and wipes the tears away from my cheeks with his thumbs. "Think about this. The more he sleeps, the less the pain will be bad when he wakes up. So them keeping him asleep is best for him so that he doesn't have to deal with any unbearable pain. Hm?"

I nod, this point helping me feel better. "You're right..."

He smiles and pulls his hands away. "You can go back to him, I'll come back tomorrow if you need."

"Thank you. It means a lot, and seeing you made me happy," I express my genuine gratitude after he has given me so much comfort, and he responds with a soft look. "I'm happy too then."

•••

6:30 pm.

"Have you received the results of your exams?" Luca asks, eating dinner with me. "Yeah, I actually graduated, I didn't go to the ceremony though. I just received it by mail."

"Oh, congrats then. Jungkook will be very proud of you," he mentions the one I was hoping to celebrate it with, and I smile, faintly. "I hope he will."

"I never really had the opportunity to talk about this with you, but how do you feel with him?" he brings his dish down to drink. "Like, he talks a lot about you, and I know how difficult it is for him to show his emotions and stuff, so I've been wondering how you feel."

"I love him a lot. It's a bit hard sometimes, I'm not gonna lie, but I'm learning to not take it personally because I understand where he's coming from, and honestly," I stir in my dish and peek up at him. "I think I'm too in love with him to not forgive him right after he does something that hurts me."

"He's your first boyfriend, right?" he assumes from it. "Yeah."

He smiles and nods, and I let go of my spoon to clear my throat with some peach juice.

"You're a sweet girl," he compliments me without knowing how much this affects me. "Don't ever change, no matter what."

I nod, hoping that no one will ever hurt me and make me different.

As I took another sip of my drink, the sound of the heart monitor going at a faster pace catches my attention, and Luca and I both look at it.

"Jungkook?" I jump off my chair and rush towards him at the sight of him gazing at me. "You..." I touch his face to check if I am not dreaming, if he is indeed looking into my eyes. "Should I call the nurse?" Luca, who followed me to witness it from closer, asks. "Yeah," I keep my focus on Jungkook, feeling on the verge of crying.

"Can you see or hear me? You recognize me, right?" I comb his hair back as his sleepy eyes are reflecting some disorientation. He seems in a daze, probably still very affected by the sedation that he was under. He slightly nods his head, but glances at Luca, and he lowers his eyes to his body as if he was trying to understand what is going on, his heart still beating pretty fast.

"Don't be scared or worried, you've been sleeping for some time now, but you're doing good. You're not in danger," I try my best to reassure him, and he looks at me again but weakly lifts one hand up to my forearm to touch it. "I wanna go home, y/n...I'm scared..." he mumbles in his oxygen mask, and the nurse comes in before I could do more.

"Good evening," she smiles at us and sets her attention on Jungkook, standing at the bottom of the bed. "Welcome back, Sir. How do you feel after this good nap?" she ironically greets hum and comes closer to him, but on Luca's side, and I hold Jungkook's hand to reassure him.

"I wanna go home," he struggles to speak properly, sounding weak. "Why? We're taking care of you and pampering you here, you don't have to be worried about anything," she checks his vital signs on the screen, but he drops his eyes on his arm. "Get this out," he takes his hand away from mine to reach out for his IV. "Remove it."

"No, Sir," she prevents him from doing so. "This is feeding you and giving you all the nutrients you need," she keeps her hand over it to make sure he does not try to pull the needle out. "I'm begging, take it out. I can't stand it, please."

"Why? Do you feel any pain?" she does not take her hand away, but Jungkook starts to become more nervous and impatient. "Get it out, or I'll do it myself when you're not around. I can eat now. I don't need that."

"Can he not eat food yet to avoid this?" I ask to the  nurse, seeing how much this is serious to him, and feeling like the problem might be the needle in his vein. "I'm going to talk to your doctor to know whether it's fine now, or if we'll need to find another solution, okay?"

"Okay, thank you," I answer instead of Jungkook, but as soon as she leaves the room, he tries to pull the needle out, so I hold him back from doing it. "Jungkook. Don't do this. Why are you so scared of it?" I keep my hand in his cold one, his heartbeat worrying me, and I run my fingers through his hair.

"I don't want that in my arm, y/n..." he breathes more sharply and swiftly, checking the tube that it. "I'm so scared, y/n...let me remove it and not stay in this hospital anymore...I wanna go..." his voice quivers as some tears grew in his eyes. "Why am I even here? Did I overdose?"

I was right. I knew the needle and his past was the issue.

"No, baby. There's no need to panic. I'm here, you're safe, and everyone here is taking care of you. You didn't overdose. You're here because someone hurt you, that's why," I clear his mind, rubbing the side of his face and wiping every tear that rolls down. "But my chest is so painful...I'm having a heart attack— I don't want to die, I don't want to leave too," he breaks into tears, and my heart shatters.

This is complicated to keep calm and not cry in front of this scene, but I need to control myself for him. The medication and sedation must be the cause of this state. He must be in shock, or confused, which is very understandable.

"You're not having a heart attack or leaving. The pain in your chest comes from your sternum that was hurt, nothing else," I intertwine our fingers. "That's one of the reasons why you have to keep those IV's. They're helping you."

"No, you don't understand, y/n. They give us drugs that get us addicted. The pill I'm addicted to, it turns into morphine in my body, so giving me higher doses is only gonna make it worse for me, baby. That's how my dad left me! Don't let it happen...please," he dives deeper in a state of panic, breathing fast and worsening the pain he must be dealing with. "Listen, it's okay. You're okay here, I won't let anyone else cause you harm ever again. I'm protecting you, okay?" I struggle to swallow, the tightness in my throat narrowing. "If they don't give you any medication, you won't be able to stand the pain in your chest or anywhere else. It won't make anything worse because I'll be there to help you deal with everything."

"Y/n," Luca pronounces my name and gets me to look at him. "I'm gonna talk to the nurse for a minute, alright?"

"Yeah," I understand and focus back on Jungkook to do my best to calm him down. "Did you dream of anything while sleeping?" I change of subject to drift his mind to something different and more positive.

He shakes his head, sluggishly. "I can't remember..."

"Oh, you'll probably dream tonight then. Do you feel like you've slept well?" I push his hair back to clear his forehead, and his heartbeat slowly goes back to a normal rhythm as he seems to be calming down. "Not really, I still feel pretty tired."

"Hm, your sleep will get better now, so don't worry," I brush his cheekbone to get rid of a lash. "Oh, and look," I remember what I wanted to show him, and I pick up one of the crochet hearts. "I made all those just for you. Some of them are small, and others bigger," I hold them within his field of view, excited to be able to finally share it with him, but he barely reacts.

"Did you...You're the one that made all of these?" he looks around him to see them all, and I confirm I did. "Yes. I knew you wouldn't like being here, so I wanted to make this room a little warmer and comfortable for you. I'm sorry if I messed some of them up, or if it's not enough, I didn't know what else to do."

"It's more than enough. I love them, and they're all pretty," he feebly grabs one of them, the smallest and keeps it in his hand, and he does not speak anymore but stares into my eyes.

This feels so special that I might bawl my eyes out again.

"I missed you a lot," I smile at him and let him know how much I felt so empty without him. I bet he would not even realize how hard it was for me.

He does not say anything but keeps his beautiful eyes on mine, and he raises his hand up to my arm to caress it.

"I love you, y/n," he says the words, those that I always wished to hear him say first, and the tears form in an instant.

I truly believed this would never happen, but it did, and my heart just skipped a beat for the first time in a while. I would never have expected those words to be so powerful.

"I love you so much, and I'm sorry for making you go through so much. You don't deserve it," he apologizes, not understanding he is not at fault.

"Don't say that. I love you too, and I'm happy with you, happier than with anyone else," I kiss his forehead and slide my hand in his bigger one.

•••

10:20 pm.

After serving some water to Jungkook, I sit back down on the stool I brought as close as I could to him, and I grab my lip oil.

"Do you think they'll let me go tomorrow or after tomorrow?" he asks as I leaned towards him, and I apply some lip oil over his lips. "I don't think they will. Luca said the nurse told him you'd be discharged in a few days, but not sooner."

"Your birthday will be ruined because of me," he speaks only once I am done, and I move back to apply some lip oil on myself too. "Stop saying that. You talking to me and looking at me is the best gift I could have ever had. Okay?"

He shakes his head but smiles, and he raises his hand up to my face. He brushes the back of it over my cheek. "Did you really stay with me every day?"

"Of course, I did. My dad even pissed me off again because I'm barely home, but staying with you all day long was the most important to me, and it felt more reassuring," I slide my fingers up his arm, his eyes staring into mine in the most loving manner. "I'll pamper you like ever as soon as I'm out of here."

"I can't wait then because I miss cuddling you," I wrap my arms around his and hold it against my chest. "Can't you lie down with me? The nurses won't come anymore, will they?"

"No, they only come one last time at nine, but I don't want to crush or hurt you," I take his hand between both of mine and press a kiss on the back of it. "But I want you close...Have you been told how long the pain is gonna last?"

"Around two months," I do not complain about how long this seems to not show any negativity in front of him. "Two months?" he repeats with audible shock. "That's way too long."

"It's not, and you know why? Because the best person is going to be by your side, which means you won't even see the time go by," I pretend to be confident about it, wishing this could be the case, and his smile widens. "True. Life's much better with you."

"You make mine better too, so I try my best to give you something good too," I bring his arm down without letting go of his hand, and he turns his head. "Don't make me emotional now, I'm too sensitive."

I chuckle and take my skin off of his to roll my stool closer to him and put my arms down next to his shoulder. I lean in and press my lips against his.

"Cuddle with me now, we'll be alone all night long anyway, and I'm pretty sure the nurses won't care," he asks for it, making it hard for me to not give in. "Please," he stares into my eyes with his pretty ones. "Are you begging me?" I nuzzle the tip of his nose, and he shows some softness. "Yes."

"Okay, but if I hurt you, I go back on the stool," I warn him but move, and he lifts his arm up to let me have some space. I slowly lie down next to him, but he pulls me closer and holds me against him. "It feels so good."

I put one arm around him and rest my head on his shoulder to avoid his painful chest. It does feel good. I missed this closeness, his touch, and the warmth of his body.

— Two days later —

Thursday, July 22nd, 2021.

10 am.

Someone entering the room as Jungkook is still sleeping grasps my attention, and I turn around. "Hey," Matthew comes in with a pretty gift bag, so I stand up and warn him that Jungkook is asleep. "Hey, let's whisper to not wake him up."

"Okay, I'm sorry," he does as asked and hands me the bag, with a warm and big smile upon his face. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you so much," I grab it and hug him. I did not expect him to get me something or even come here for that reason. "You didn't have to," I check what is inside but gape at the sight of the two big boxes. "I wanted to. I hope you'll like it."

"Can I open it now?" I impatiently ask, and he nods. "Yeah."

I walk up to the empty bed and put the bag down, and I get one box out first. I unwrap it without making too much noise, and I quickly catch sight of what it is.