cerulean

aero's face, showed that he'd been unprepared for my answer. i understood and sympathized with his emotions.

most females of this pack, and many others would drop their entire lives just to be with their mates. but it was different for me. i'd never dreamed of anything other than providing for myself, of being myself unapologetically.

i lived in a pack, that i wasn't truly apart of, and i'd seen first hand how wonderful being mated could be, but it wasn't an absolute bond. it could be weakened, it could be corrupted, it could be broken.

"i'm sorry." i said. "i'd never imagined i'd hurt anyone with this decision, but it's been made. it cannot be changed."

he knew it and i knew it. being kicked out of a pack was different you could come back if you repented. asking to leave the pack usually meant you weren't happy, meant you felt you could be better without.

you normally couldn't be allowed back into a pack you'd requested release from, however with probable cause, such as a need for sanctuary, the rules could be bent.

his face looked sullen, but his eyes lit up with fire. "your choice? that's your answer! that's why you're rejecting me!"

rejection; i hasn't thought about how he would feel about my leaving; how he would really feel.

"i cannot console you," i said my voice passive, "hate me, if you must."

he looked at me pain fresh on his face. and with a dry chuckle; he ground out.

"well get on with it then, cerulean."

i nodded, ignoring the feelings his usage of my name caused. "i; omega cerulean arfanetti, hereby release you; head warrior aero brix of your duties as my mate."

i winced as a sharp pain flared in my left eye and i resisted the urge to cover it.

aero looked to the ground a grimace on his face. "does the world feel cold to you?" he asked.

an almost redundant question given the snowy mountain we lived on. nevertheless i provided him with an answer.

"it always has." i replied, and he smirked a soulless one. nodding. he then suddenly shook his head and snapped his eyes open.

"get out of here wanderer." his voice was cold. but the tense stance he held showed how much he resented the words that fell from his lips.

"right away, head warrior." and with that i walked away from the one person who, i knew would without a doubt, would have loved me unconditionally. and contrary to my own feelings, the hollowness that followed couldn't be ignored.
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the travel to the recruitment camp wasn't especially difficult, i carried nothing, and hunted when hungry.

it was more tedious than anything else. and because there was no one else around, i could do nothing but think. i thought about a lot of things; i normally would never have given a second thought to.

i thought about the past i couldn't remember. i thought about the pack i'd grown up in. i thought about the face aero made as i walked away from him.

i stopped thinking.

i kept my mind clear for the rest of the journey. a week passed and once i'd made it to the camp, i was immediately overwhelmed.

werewolves, lycans, children of the moon, and all those in between were gathered in the opening.

werewolves; were the only kind of shifter who could interact with the mundane. they were the more commonly known, they'd been the ones to establish trust and an alliance between us and the mundane.

lycans; were the first of our kind, there were many stories told among the gifted and the mundane -the supernatural and the humans that is- they held no control over their first shift, and were usually seen, in mid-shift. not quite human, but not quite wolf.

the children of the moon; they were the ones who'd been blessed by the moon goddess, humans who'd been gifted with the ability to change and survive it. they were marked as luna's. but despite this they were considered, a lesser kind. their shift occurred once every full moon.

i felt young and inadequate, lycans were usually centuries older than their peers simply because they aged so slowly they could rival that of the *sanguisuga; the mundane knew them as vampires.

i looked around, a nervous wreck, but controlling my scent and my expression. both would give away my inner emotion immediately.

the flow of the crowd all seemed to go in one direction, so i followed, trying my best not to reveal how i felt.

i walked along the worn path, taking care not to bump into anyone. i could hold my own, but i could by no means take down any of the people gathered here.

"those who are here for recruitment, make a line to the left, those who are returning from the battle front, make a line to the right."

i shuffled quietly over to the left, remaining unheard and hopefully unseen. from what i saw there weren't many females around. a few stood out, but by the looks of things, they'd long earned the respect of those around them.

the line began to move and i found the closer i got to registering, the less anxious i felt. i'd finally gotten to the front of the line, ignoring the incredulous look i'd been given, i signed my name on the sheet.

copying the actions of those before me, i walked over to a tent which i now understood to be a physical check. i put myself into another line, keeping my thoughts of increasing discomfort far from the forefront of my mind.

in the pack i wasn't expected to attend pack events. thus large amounts of people tended to annoy or irritate me.

the healers line was significantly faster than the registry line had been. and so, i was at the front once again.

"name." the healer spoke, not looking up.
"cerulean arfanetti." i said. the healer's head shot up, his eyes wide.

i tiled my head to the side. and lifted a single brow. "something wrong with my name healer?"

the question seemed to snap him out of whatever trance he'd been in. "no," he said, his voice cracked. "please take off your shirt and shorts miss."

i nodded. nudity was common in a pack. and it was widely known that, healers worked best with skin to skin contact, their magic could work to its full potential uninterrupted.

i shrugged out of my clothes, standing with my hands behind my back.

the healer walked over and running his hands over my shoulders, stomach, calves and lower back. symbols and runes i didn't understand appeared on the location his hands grazed.

the healers face was stony and serious, as he taped the symbols lightly, each one glowing with a hidden secret. a truth that i could never know on my own.

"miss arfanetti." he started, "you are fairly healthy. a few things are to be desired, but nothing that cannot be fixed. you're physically cleared for *bellicose."

"thank you healer." i bowed my head, he nodded and waved his hand over my naked body. the symbols and runes left my skin in an instant.

taking that as my cue, i began to clothe myself. i'd gotten my shorts back on and was leaving the tent when the healer called out to me.

"miss arfanetti," i turned curiosity written in my eyes. "you don't have to answer, but i wish to ask. why have you come here?"

i bit back a smile, and simply settled with a soft. "where else would i be?"

the healers face was puzzled, the sight of it increased my urge to smile, and so i turned away walking completely out of the tent.

there seemed to be one last line, and so with a annoyed sigh, i made my way over. instantly i noticed the difference in the atmosphere.

the previous lines, all seemed to hold youthful looking *gifted's. i wouldn't go as far as to say that they were unseasoned, but there was a sense of defeat they simply didn't have.

looking around the line, i noticed how full of well strung out warriors each suffering from one ailment or another, it was.

i saw one man, looking down at the space where i'm sure his arm used to reside. another repeatedly swatted at thin air. others, simply stared off into space, some rocked back and forth.

sucking up what little courage i had left seeing this sight, i tentatively tapped the person in front of me's shoulder.

"excuse me sir. what line is this for?"

the man turned around his face unperturbed by my question. he had a well groomed beard, as well as bright blue eyes, that seemed to glow with a light from within, his hair fell to his mid back with two pieces tied behind his head the rest tucked under his pointed ears, and a thin scar running through his eyebrow. he was heads taller than me, which wasn't hard to be. his body seemed to be muscle bound, but not overly so. the warrior looked both ways in confusion, gritting my teeth i spoke again.

"down here."

the reaction was instantaneous, a quick quirk of the lip, a raise of the scarred eye brow, and a crossing of the arms.

"little one, this line is for your mental physical. the healers already checked your body, but it doesn't do you much good if the mind's gone."

taking this into account, i decidedly ignored the 'little one' moniker, that i'd seemingly been given.

"thank you." i said. there was nothing more to be said, or so i assumed.

"how old are you little one?" the man asked me.

i looked down hesitant to answer, to those who were gifted age was power. "18."

i said, my disdain for the age noticeable. the man visibly tensed. "what's your name?"

i relaxed. "cerulean arfanetti."

"what are you?"

"werewolf." i answered.

curiosity bubbled in me. "if i may be so bold as to ask a return?"

the man looked pained and amused all at once, i thought it must be difficult to feel so much at once.

"valerius cicero, i am 2264 years of age, lycan."

my eyes widened. i adverted my eyes instinctively to the ground. "please forgive my disrespect. grandmaster cicero."

in gifted culture, those of higher age, got higher rank, grandmaster was the highest one could go, on age alone. it was well respected, and offense could mean death.

"at ease, cerulean, was it? no harm done."

"thank you. grandmaster cicero."

i barely controlled the flinch that wanted to rock through my body, as he softly placed a hand in my shoulder. no one in the pack, had given me any touches, wether they be hateful or loving.

"just call me valerius."

i nodded in agreement. craning my head around the tall figure that was valerius, i noticed the line hadn't seemed to move in the slightest.

"don't waste your time little one." valerius spoke.

"what do you mean?" i muttered

"this line takes the longest, the mind is a dangerous thing."

i looked at the ancient, and narrowed my eyes, after a few beats i decided that, i quite liked valerius.

*sanguisuga = vampire
*bellicose = violence/hostility/ war