cerulean

i let out a soft breath of air, as i shifted around on my lumpy mattress, it truly wasn't created to be slept on, but it was the best i had ever gotten.

shifting my weight around once more, i eventually gave up, deciding to get ready for the day. logically i knew that i had no room to complain, life wasn't terrible to me.

the only thing i could find that honestly bothered me, was that even though i was apart of the pack, i; at the same time wasn't.

i was aware that omega's held no status within the pack, but even so i often found it a harsh reminder that i was simply a background character in someone else's story book, its a hard pill to swallow when you realize your whole life revolves around somone who wouldn't care one way or the other should something happen to you.

i pushed myself off my lumpy mattress and walked to my wardrobe. pulling out simple clothing, i held in my hands underwear, a tank top as well as some light blue skinny jeans.

i walked to the washroom that i'd been provided simply from the fact that no one in the pack wanted to share a washroom with an omega. i set all my items on the counter top looking at myself in the mirror.

   the two toned hair, i had dyed as a birthday gift to myself, greeted me in my reflection. it was a beautiful dark blue, that faded into a more frosted hue. my hair only just came down to my collar bones, tickling the exposed darker skin. my eyes, tired as they were skimmed the rest of me unlike my hair; my eyes, were an ordinary mixture of grey and blue.

turning from the mirror i shed myself of my clothes and turned the water on. jumping in, i shivered, and hurried knowing that the water wasn't going to get warm enough for me to enjoy it.

when i was done i climbed out of the shower, wrapping my towel around body i dried myself off, pulling on my clothes, i let out a breath.

it was now time to go downstairs. i wouldn't be acknowledged, but at least i didn't have to cook for everyone else. grabbing my duffle bag, i walked down the stairs and walked passed the other wolves as they smiled and grinned at one another, the alpha's 30th birthday was coming up, many were excited; mostly wanting to see if any of their daughters would be his mate. i held no such delusions.

i picked an apple off the table as i walked passed, taking a bite out of it. i slowed slightly as i heard two pack members-warriors- talking.

"i've heard that the king's been recruiting fighters it seems the elves aren't giving up as easily as we thought they would." the taller of the two spoke.

"guess he's getting desperate." spoke his companion.

i looked directly at the two men, the king needed soldiers?

i nodded my head and made a split second decision, changing course i headed in the direction of the alpha's office. as i came within hearing distance of his office, i felt my chest grow heavy.

i was almost convinced i was having a heart attack, walking closer to the door. i stopped in my tracks as i heard the voice of the alpha, it was clear that whoever he was speaking with, was of importance.

i allowed my ears to turn deaf to the conversation it was clearly not for those not high in rank. i stood with my arms folded and my head bowed as i waited for the other person to leave the office.

after standing there for what felt like and eternity, i straightened my spine and walked up to the door. knocking hard, and strong i listened closely as the talking ceased and a booming voice called out, "come in."

i opened the door my head down and i bowed to my alpha.

"alpha, i have a request for you." i stated getting straight to the point.

i stared at his forehead never directly into his eyes, all the while resisting the urge to look at the other person occupying the room.

"cerulean," he said, his voice held a note of annoyance. "what request do you have? can it not wait?"

i looked levely at his forehead. "no alpha i'm afraid it cannot. i wish to be released from the pack." i waited a moment to allow what i said to sink in, before continuing.

"it has come to my attention that the economic state of the pack hasn't been the best with the war, so i am asking you to allow me to leave for the betterment of the pack." i was no fool. i wasn't so naïve as to think that my leaving would fix the pack's financial and economic state, however this was the easiest way to get out of the pack without revealing my true objective.

i watched silently as his eyebrows raised in shock, yet his eyes and face stayed passive. "this is your request to leave the pack?" i nodded my head firmly. this was what i wanted, and i doubted i would ever ask for anything further . seeing as how i'd never actually asked the alpha for anything before.

"very well when do you intend to leave?"

i allowed a soft smile to grace my face.

i had nothing worth taking, no keep sakes, no memories of my past. and it was with that in mind that i proudly stated. "today. i intend to leave today."

honestly, i'd been heading off to work when i heard the two men speaking, but that was irrelevant, my job brought me no happiness and even less income; so i wasn't shaken about having to leave.

again his eyebrows raised, but nevertheless he reached out for a piece of parchment and began to draft my request.

it was only when he began to write did i finally allow myself to look around the room, and sneak a peek at the man. when my eyes locked with his, i felt my heart stop. it was the head warrior of the pack, aero brix, he was the reason my chest felt so tight, he was my mate. i watched in silent apprehension as his right eye turned to a grayish-blue color, the color of my eyes. as i watched him, his eyes widened, he must've come to the same realization as i had.

another wave of apprehension hit me when i realized that i'd applied to leave the pack in front of my mate.

consciously, i didn't want a mate and still don't it wasn't something i'd ever really looked forward to that's not to say that had i found him sooner i wouldn't have loved him, i just didn't actively search for him or fantasize about him.

"alpha abner." head warrior aero called out his voice tense. i watched my voice stuck in my throat, "may i speak to miss arfanetti for a moment?"

the alpha didn't look up for a moment as he nodded his head. it seemed that drafting a request took longer than i thought.

with the approval of his alpha, head warrior aero grabbed me by the arm, and hauled me out of the room.

despite myself; i couldn't help but lean in and slightly relax as the tingles ran up and down my arm. warming me in a way i never knew was possible.

when he pulled me a good ways, away from the alpha's office he stopped and let go of my arm. as he did so i felt the warmth flee, and allowed myself to frown momentarily.

i looked directly into his eyes wanting to analyze his emotions so that i could react accordingly, but the longer i looked the more i realized; i could read nothing.

i straightened my back and decided to play dumb. "head warrior aero, what can i do for you?" i blinked my eyes slowly almost innocently.

"how do you intend to care for yourself?"

taken aback by the quick question that flew from his lips, i inclined my head in respect and began formulating an answer that would satisfy him.

"i intend to do as i always have done. the only difference shall be my lack of belonging to a pack."

aero narrowed his eyes at me. the one grey-blue eye staring into what I could only assume was a chocolate brown eye.

"you are aware of what we are, yes?"

again i was completely blindsided, i'd assumed he'd simply reject me quickly so as not to drag this out.

understanding that he was genuinely looking for an answer, i demurely nodded my head in agreement.

"i'm aware." i said

"good, then you should go and tell the alpha you've reconsidered and wish to stay in the pack."

stay in the pack.

i tilted my head, my brows furrowed.

"why would i say such a thing?"

aero looked confused now too. "you've found your mate, there's no reason for you to leave the pack."

i looked down thinking, a noise of agreement escaping my throat. then the realization hit me.

"you expect me to stay," i murmured, "for you." it wasn't a question. it was a statement. a fact.

aero looked at me, he understood what i was saying. "you're still leaving."

i nodded, my face blank. i watched multiple emotions play out on his face, before he too showed a carefully constructed mask of perfect neutrality. something, he no doubt learned whilst training.

assuming the conversation was done and dealt with, i turned from aero, and walked calmly back to the alpha's office.
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it wasn't long before the alpha had broken my link to the pack, and i found for the first time just how quiet my thoughts could be.

i'd changed my clothes into a long sleeved shirt, and some shorts, with boots. as well as braided my hair back beforehand knowing it to be difficult to travel while hindered.

showing my respect i bowed to the alpha for the last time and walked out of his office.

as i was walking out, i felt it; the tugging in my chest, and now knowing what it was, i turned to see aero.

"you're a wanderer now." his voice was flat. "how is this better than being here, being with me?"

a smile graced my lips, and i relaxed the tension in my shoulders.

"because it's my choice."