"I'd steal time and force it back,

If you'd see me still the same,

To keep what was, what could have been,

The price tag of the fame." - Bach's Revenge debut album, track 12

Seb entered the room and shut the door behind him, careful not to reveal what he had tucked behind his back. Charlie looked beautiful even though her hair was a mess and her eyes were puffy. Somehow, looking at her made his problems vanish. She erased Bennett and Jensen and the Moody mess, she erased the tension between Lane and Sawyer, the crazy pulse of the tour. But the one thing she couldn't undo was the dreaded feeling inside him that something would happen to her again. His fear had roots that wound themselves through every vein in his body.

He managed a smile for her. "How's my girl?"

She didn't smile back. "Truthfully, I've been better."

"You and me both." He withdrew his hand to show her the teddy bear he'd bought her. It reminded him of that one on the fabric softener commercials. Juvenile, maybe, but he didn't care. He placed the stuffed animal on the chair beside her bed and moved the bedrail down as he'd done the day before.

"Sebastian-wait," she said.

He took pause for a moment. "Can you just let me lay with you for a minute, bella, please?"

She sighed and nodded. He wondered what was so bad about him crawling in bed with her, but he couldn't bring himself to ask. He simply wanted to be beside her, nothing else mattered. He settled on the bed and shifted her gently so she sat upright enough for him to place himself behind her. She relaxed a settled into him and he figured whatever mood she'd been in had just improved by leaps and bounds.

"Tell me about your day," he whispered.

"Not much to tell."

He gave her a gentle nudge. "C'mon, there must be something."

"Well, I woke up and Robbie was here."

Sebastian scowled. "Hey. Where the hell is Robbie? I told him not to leave."

"I know," Charlie said. "Robbie was scared to leave."

"So why did he?"

"Cause," she replied. "I asked him to."

"Oh. I would have preferred if you didn't."

"Sebastian, I'm perfectly safe. I'm in a flipping hospital. I'm sure they have security, never mind that McKenzie is in jail. I'm okay."

"We had security too," Sebastian said. "Lot of good it did."

"How did the meeting with Moody go?" she asked.

"It was fine," he lied. "They were just determining where to go from here."

"What do you want to do?"

"I want to go home, Charlie. Pretend like this never happened."

When Sebastian had climbed into bed with her, she should have protested. That would have been the right thing to do. The closer he was, the harder it was going to be but for selfish reasons, she let him. She never wanted to forget what it felt like to be wrapped in his arms. Had she woken up that morning with the intention of breaking his heart, allowing him to hold her would be malicious but she hadn't and her heart would break much the same as his.

Following her horrible conversation with Robbie, she'd spent the better part of her afternoon in search of the strength she needed to go through with it. She looked for another way out. She debated simply giving him an ultimatum. If he wanted to be with her, he had to finish the tour. It seemed like a simple enough ultimatum, but she wasn't kidding anybody.

When Sebastian's mind was set on something, he was more stubborn than even she or Devin could aspire to be and when his mind was made up about something, there was no changing it.

"How is it that you're willing to dismiss everything you've ever dreamed of to be with me?"

"I'm not dismissing it," Sebastian said. "I just said I want to go home."

She inhaled, taking in his intoxicating smell. Her eyes filled with tears at the very thought of not being able to feel him, to smell him, to talk to him again. A sob escaped and she cursed herself for setting it free.

Sebastian was immediately unsettled and moved so he could see her face. The stupid tear rolled down and she couldn't bring herself to look at him, much less utter a single word.

His warm thumb caught her tear, but it couldn't stop more from falling.

"Charlie," Sebastian said, "what's wrong?"

She opened her mouth to speak, but her heart, not her mind controlled her words and refused to let them come out.

Sebastian moved completely, freeing himself from behind her, but before he could get completely out of the bed, she grabbed his arm roughly to stop him. "Seb," she said. A lump which was becoming way too frequent a visitor was back in her throat. Even it was trying to stop her.

He sat and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "I know it's been a rough week, Charlie, but we're going to make it. It will all be okay."

"But we won't make it," she shook her head.

"Of course we will. I know right now things feel sort of broken, but I'm here. I'm never leaving."

His last few words succeeded in sending her completely over the edge. The tears had not only escaped in full, but they began to stream from her eyes. Sebastian didn't like them anymore than she did, bracing his hands on her shoulders and pushing away so he could see her face. "It's okay to cry."

That's good. She was glad. Because she wasn't sure what else she was going to do.

She looked at his face, really looked at it. His eyes were clouded, his smile placed there only for her. He was trying so hard to make everything okay for her. The irony of it was if it weren't for her, none of this would have happened.

If she'd never turned Sebastian down in the first place, he wouldn't have gone to McKenzie at all. It was because of her. If she'd not been the jealous freak, they never would have fought. If they hadn't fought maybe Sebastian wouldn't have insisted on the promise ring and the proclamation. It was because of her. Now Sebastian was going to give up everything he'd ever dreamed of to keep her safe and prove his loyalty. It was all because of her.

She didn't deserve him anyway.

"Tell me why you're crying and I'll fix it," he replied.

"You can't fix it."

"Sure I can. But I need to know why you're sad."

She was the biggest bitch on the planet.

She took a deep breath and made sure her eyes were focused on the crappy white walls instead of him. She couldn't look him while she lied to his face. "You can't fix it Sebastian, because you are the problem."

There.

She did it.

She uttered the words she never thought she'd say. Not even if McKenzie's gun was held to her head.

It was the first real thing she'd done for him, whether he knew it or not.

His eyebrows pinched down over eyes that were now filled with not only hurt but confusion. "What are you talking about?"

She sighed. She knew him better than to think he wouldn't demand an explanation. "I said you're the problem."

"Charlie," he stood nervously and started to mess with the sheets, presumably, to tuck her in. "You're tired. You're tired and God knows what painkillers they've been feeding you. Just go to sleep now, okay? You're going to feel better in the morning. We can talk then."

"No," she shook her head and grabbed the blanket from his hands, the way a spoiled child takes back a toy. "No. You need to listen to me."

Seb sat, forgetting that her teddy bear was there. He leaned forward, retrieved it, and started picking at the fake fur. When she didn't say anything else, he looked up. "I'm listening."

"I don't want this anymore."

"I don't either, Charlie. That's why I quit. I just want things to be the way they used to be."

"You don't understand," she told him.

"Make me understand then. I'm all ears."

"It's not the music, the fame that I'm talking about, Sebastian."

His face was frozen in a perfect combination of fear and frustration. "What, then?"

She motioned with her hand across her body and then to where he sat. "This. Us. I don't want to be with you anymore." Bile churned inside her stomach, threatening to make another appearance.

His fear turned to amusement. "You're being silly, Charlie. You don't jump in front of a bullet for someone on day, and try to break up with them the next."

"Please, just listen." She prepared to elaborate on her lie. To weave strands around it, so by the time he left, it would be a giant web of untruths.

"This whole thing, it happened for a reason. It's a sign. We aren't supposed to be together."

The tiny smirk that was there vanished as he leaned even closer. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard."

"No, Seb, it's not crazy. It's true. We rushed into this and didn't stop to think about what could happen." eHHis

"Charlie, you're not thinking straight. It wasn't a sign. It was a freak accident. Nothing like this will ever happen again, I promise you this. I won't let anything happen to you."

"Sebastian," she pleaded, wishing he'd just get mad. "It doesn't matter. We can't be together anymore. I can't do it. I'm sorry."

His face was no longer smirking or afraid or amused. It was terrified.

Miserably, it was a success.

"You already know this but I love you more than anyone could possibly understand."

Don't you see, a voice in her head spoke. I love you too, that's why I can't let you do this. Charlie looked away. "I thought I loved you too, but I was wrong."

"I don't believe you," he whispered.

"Please Sebastian, I want you to leave."

He had phenomenal control over his tears and refused to let a single one fall, but she noticed his lip trembling as he stood and placed the teddy bear beside her. He kissed her forehead. "I'll always love you, Charlie. Nothing is going to change that. Not one day, not a thousand days. The time will come when you realize what an awful mistake you've made. When that day comes, promise you'll find me."

She simply nodded and for the second time in recent memory, watched Sebastian walk away.

She couldn't hold back any longer, her cry impossible to control. She buried her face in her pillow because if she didn't, it would risk someone hearing her and she couldn't speak right now, much less explain herself. Her body heaved with each tear. She could stop shaking or crying but most of all she couldn't stop the broken empty hollow as her heart shattered in all kinds of ways.

Because she'd just let it walk out the door.

Surely it was physically impossible for someone to cry as much as she was. The tears were vicious and unrelenting, the kind that took a small piece of her soul each time one fell. Her heart was already gone, so keeping her soul didn't seem to matter too much.

Whenever she did manage to keep the sobbing under control, his voice would echo through her head. No one will ever love you like I do... I wrote them all for you...I've waited so long for this. Hearing his voice in her head prompted more out of control sobbing. A sick circle of misery. The sound of heartbreak traveled fast. It didn't take long for a nurse to come in.

Charlie knew she looked like shit because the nurse actually took a step back when she looked at her. She'd repelled someone. Add that to the list of today's miserable achievements.

"Oh," the nurse settled her hand on Charlie's. "Are you okay?"

The tears ceased only long enough for Charlie to want to slap her.

She couldn't speak yet, which was a blessing in disguise because she wanted to tell the nurse she was an idiot, but instead managed to shake her head no in response.

Her expression borders on cautious sympathy.

"I don't know how to make it stop," Charlie mumbled. "I lost him."

Annoying or not, Charlie wished the nurse would stay with her. She wished anyone would stay with her. Like a child herself, she was afraid of the dark, because the dark brought with it silence. Silence would bring his voice.

The nurse sat on the chair. "You wanna talk, sweetie?"

Charlie nodded. "I broke up with my boyfriend."

"I saw him leave," she nodded. "He seemed very upset."

"I broke both of our hearts."

"Listen, I've seen stuff like what has happened to you tear apart relationships. You can't let it, sweetheart, not if you love that boy."

"I've loved him forever," Charlie said.

"Then work through this," she replied, like things were that simple.

"I broke up with him because I love him."

"Well," she chuckled. "That sure is a strange way to show your affection."

"He was going to give up everything he ever wanted because of me."

"He must love you very much."

"I think he does," Charlie replied. "Actually, I know he does."

She looked down at her watch. "You need to really think about what is important to you, to him. What good is everything he's ever wanted gonna do for him, if he can't have the one thing he wants the most?"

She stood and Charlie willed her not to leave, but she adjusted the covers and sighs before speaking. "I've got to get back to the nurses' station. I'll get you something to help you sleep."

She returned a few minutes later with a tiny glass bottle and a needle. Without saying a word, she injected whatever it was into the IV. It took only a minute or two before Charlie started to feel the effects. She was woozy and drowsy and blissfully numb.

The nurse patted her hand and turned to leave. "Wait," Charlie objected. "What's your name?"

"Ellen, sweetie." She smiled warmly. "Name is Ellen."

"Thank you Ellen, goodnight."

To Charlie's dismay, Ellen left to finish her shift and the warm feeling of nothing swallowed Charlie whole.