V. Get Your Shit Together

Jude always wondered what would her life be like if she had never been injected with Compound V.

Maybe she'd have another sibling. Most likely two more since her mother always did talk about wanting two more kids within the hush whispers of tales she'd tell her husband.

He'd agree nonetheless because he loved her and the idea of a bigger family. More specifically he loved his wife and would tend to her every need when necessary.

Jude of course didn't mind the idea since for one she was a kid and kids are optimistic dreamers who dream the impossible.

But that thought never became reality and that's the one thing she hated the most.

So now to save herself she keeps her secrets hidden. Hiding them within the shadows of her ribs led her to safety whenever she felt as though she was about to crack. Her secrets were going to be the death of her, she knew it too.

It took her a while to even let Jordan know the brief details of her life and when she finally did Jude thought maybe just maybe it isn't so bad to trust someone. Just maybe.

Lies.

The moment she opened her heart somebody else, stomped on it right in front of her causing the teen girl to close the fleshy organ into a chained box and throw away the key.

And sometimes, she's not always keeping secrets to herself. There are many things Jude doesn't know about because she purposefully avoids wanting to know about them or remembering them. Whenever it's the topic of who's parent is coming to visit you she purposefully avoids that day because she knows that'll it be none other than her mother and nine times out of ten people are gonna ask where's her father and she didn't want them to know that he was dead and it was her fault.

She also chose to play oblivious to what her mother was doing in Brink's office post office hours because it was none of her business right?

What she doesn't know won't hurt her so it stays that way.

However, after the revelation of Homelander, Jude realizes that she can no longer ignore the truth and that maybe it is coming back to haunt her.

The reason for that was that she woke up on the floor. Like a child in a cradled position, Jude found herself waking up on the cold, stiff surface. Like a child, she had her arms wrapped around her waist incoherent words passing through her lips like wasted pages until she decided to work and her eyes glowed a faint red before returning to normal.

Her face was littered with half-dried tears. Her body was wet with exhaustion. It felt as if a heavy rock had been lifted and dropped on her body. This was the result whenever she went to the extreme and used too much of her powers. Exhaustion. And when faced with the task of having to get herself on the ground, it was a hard task. She was that drained.

She's had her fair share of using all her powers to the point of exhaustion, but she never woke up the morning after feeling completely disoriented and out of her mind like that before. Which made the one question come to her mind.

What happened last night?

She remembered a lot of things, like how she managed to keep a fair clear mind when her mother berated her once again. Maybe it was the weed that caused her to get overly emotional. No, it couldn't have been.

She also remembers seeing the devil himself, Homelander. To everyone, he was this patriotic hero but to her, he was an egotistical fraud. She could see right through that maniacal grin he wore that he was anything but good. Maybe that's why he chose to haunt her out of all people because she could see through the bullshit.

Fortunately for her, she ended up having to respond to a ton of unanswered calls from the night everything went down.

She first talked to Cate— not because she had the energy to do so, but because the girl had sent her ten text messages that Jude barely glanced at before answering with a quick "Just woke up sorry". They spoke (texted) on the phone for a short moment but when Jude decided to talk over the phone Cate just kept on asking her if she was alright because she could sense that there was something wrong. Not wanting Cate to know about her episode Jude answered "I'm fine just tired". Truth: she was tired but being fine was a lie.

After that, she went to Jordan's number who'd send her messages mainly about where she was and if she was going to make it to class. Jude who'd been completely passed out hadn't noticed the time which was afternoon. Had she been out that long?

Vaguely answering with a "Busy doing homework for Mr. Smith's class" is another lie. She'd already done her homework for Mr. Smith hours before what happened.

She skipped over Andre and Luke, not caring about what they had to text her knowing it was just bullshit they'd send when they're high out of their mind.

Forcing herself off the floor, she brought a hand to her face only to wince at the cold touch. Walking into the dorm bathroom, she closes it behind her. Staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, Jude notices how the color in her skin visibly grows paler.

Time seemed to grow still and soon she felt bile threatening to rise from her throat.

And so it does, with her throwing up and calling Jordan to let them know that she'll be coming real late and to make sure that they get her a cup of cranberry juice with extra ice to go. Just give her a couple more minutes for her to regain her sanity.

"Get your shit together Jude." She mumbled splashing cold water on her face.

Jude managed to remove herself from her dorm, burying her hands deeper into her hoodie pockets. Wearing a simple sweat with a hoodie and sneakers, her hair was tied into a high bun as she walked down the hall.

Jude wasn't the type to wear sweats on an occasion so of course it did raise some eyebrows to some who knew her.

She managed the make it to her History class ignoring the stares from many students wondering why she arrived so late. Letting out a sigh of relief once she spots Jordan, she sits next to them and tries to get comfortable.

Their history teacher Mr. Smith looks up at the teen, bringing a hand to push back the large spectacles up to his nose bridge "So nice of you to join us, Jude."

Forcing a smile, Jude turns to Jordan "Sorry I'm late. This morning just wasn't the best for me." That wasn't a lie, this morning wasn't the best for her at all.

Jordan who'd rather not vocally speak only nods and slides over a to-go cup of cranberry juice with ice "Here."

Jude takes it with great appreciation. With one sip she's already feeling better "Thank you." The teen remained quiet for a small portion of the class taking minimal sips of her drink.

The sound of Jordan's fingers tapping along to the thin keyboard pieces. For some reason it oddly comforted her, eventually resting her head against their shoulder as they paid no mind to it. With her eyes partially closed Jude zoned out once again.

Jordan couldn't help but look down at Jude noticing how exhausted she looked from the moment she entered the class and how she'd text them wanting the one thing she'd normally wouldn't want at this time of the day.

Cranberry juice.

From what he'd gathered from the almost two years in a half of knowing Jude, she'd normally never asked for cranberry juice. She was more of an expresso shot in the morning and kept-it-moving kind of girl. So whenever she asks specifically for cranberry juice that lets them know that she must've had one of her episodes.

Episodes as in the very few times where Jude's powers get complete control of her mind causing her to see images of what appeared to be people of her consciousness. And with that the things around her face the damage whether it'll be floating, breaking, or crashing.

Jordan remembered the first time they witnessed Jude's powers getting the best of her. It was at one of their annual charity events and Jude had no choice but to go with her mother.

After what appeared to be an argument between the two, Jude excused herself feeling citing that she wasn't feeling good and needed to go now. Jordan who followed the girl wasn't expecting to see Jude fall to her knees, her eyes glowing extremely red as she muttered incoherent sentences as tears helplessly fell from her face.

At first, Jordan didn't know what to do since they'd never seen that happen with Jude so the best they could do was try to calm her down which partially worked until all glass broke around Jude and then she passed out from exhaustion.

Jude made them promise that what happened or what'll happen shortly stays between them until told otherwise.

"How are you feeling now?" Jordan asks as he continues to type from their computer. Jude lets out a sigh, opening her eyes to look up at them.

"Better." What she appreciated the most was how Jordan never judged her whenever it came to her episodes and instead focused on comforting her "Way better, thank you."

"That's good." Jordan lets out a sigh of relief glad that nothing went completely bad. They weren't about to ask Jude what happened as it might trigger her so as she was in a somewhat better mind space, they wanted to leave it as that. For now.

"So later on me and the other guys alongside Cate are planning on going to a party if you want to come." Jordan offers "But if you don't want to it's fine." They quickly add.

"No, yeah it's fine. I'll come. I need the distraction anyway." Jude nods before putting a small smile on her lips.

Jude did need the distraction but what she didn't know was that she'd receive more than that.