I'm sure you expected me to try my best and actually succeed, just like Martin does, but I already told you it wasn't going to end well, and well... yeah, it didn't.

So, as pathetic as this might sound, I told you so.

We meet with the girls at the beach, and I notice they are wearing the same bikinis from the pic. The first thing I realize is how strange it is that things look so out of proportion in photographs. Don't get me wrong; these girls looked okay in those pics, definitely cute even, but wow, they're a lot hotter in the flesh! Plain old photographs just don't do 'exposed skin' justice.

"This is my cousin John," Martin says, gesturing at me with a nonchalant hand.

"I'm Cathy," says the girl who Martin originally told me was named Jackie.

"And I'm Janice," says the other girl.

My God! He got the names all wrong! But I just nod, because I'm confused, not to mention the fact I have the social skills of a leprechaun. And please don't give me that eye-roll, because it's actually a miracle I didn't run away yet. Seriously; I'm so out of my depth here; I'd rather go on a rampage and steal all the left socks in town than suffer the torture of talking to these pretty girls.

Cathy, though, seems to think differently. "Pleased to meet you, John."

I nod again, smiling a smile I know must look forced and awkward.

"This is the guy I told you about," Martin explains to them, and I have to wonder when, and mostly WHY, Martin would talk to these girls about me? Was this part of his master plan, too?

"I see he's as cute as you said he was." Cathy replies, and I notice she's not looking at me in the eye, but somewhere above my waistline, because as Martin insisted, I'm wearing a short-sleeved shirt, completely unbuttoned, to "show the world my wonderful abs".

"So, Martin said you're from Sunset Central?" Janice asks, and I nod again. "And mute, too," she jokes.

The three of them laugh at my expense, but clearly, I have lost the ability to talk. One of them seems obsessed with my abs and the other one is making fun of my shyness. Seriously, it can't get any worse than this, can it?

"My cousin is just shy," Martin says, "but I'm betting you girls will help him get over that," Martin drapes an arm around my shoulder and ruffles my hair with his free hand.

Janice suddenly grabs my arm and drags me away, but I instinctively pull back, kind of taking a defensive stance. This girl was the 'Cathy' Martin was after; I can't let her drag me some place and ruin his plan, can I? I look at Martin for a bit of guidance, but he just chuckles.

"She ain't biting you, John," he says, pushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Not too hard, at least." Cathy says this in a flirty tone, and as if on cue, Janice giggles.

"No," I say, "but..."

"Don't worry, cousin," Martin says, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Just ease up a little and have some fun, will you?"

"But..."

"It's fine, trust me." Then he turns to the actual Cathy. "Want to go swimming?"

Cathy beams. "Sure!"

And off they go into the water, leaving me at the mercy of Janice. I feel like I should turn to her and say something, but words don't come to me, and I don't dare meet her eyes, so she's forced to take the lead again.

"Sorry about that," she says.

"You don't have to..." I begin to say, but my voice trails off and disappears.

"Actually," Janice says, "Cathy is pretty into your cousin, so..."

"So?"

She sits down in the sand, and I do the same, noticing that our legs are now only inches apart.

"So," Janice says, "I didn't want to be a third wheel. But Cathy didn't want to leave me alone, so I'm kind of glad you're here."

That's when I risk looking at her, and she gives me a big smile. The bridge of her nose is peppered with freckles that I didn't notice in Martin's picture. I can see why Martin is after this girl: she's nice, not to mention gorgeous. So it doesn't explain why he's okay with Cathy, even though, as he mentioned earlier, it's not like she's unattractive.

"Martin was more into you," I tell her in a sudden burst of honesty.

She shrugs and stares out at the water. "It doesn't matter."

"Doesn't it?"

"Nah."

"How so?"

"Well, we're not even from this city. It's not like we're looking for anything serious. It's summer vacation. You know; we're just trying to have fun, and both Cathy and I are pretty sure Martin is trying to do the same."

I frown. "I don't get it."

Janice inches a little closer. "Maybe I should show you, then, instead of trying to explain it?"

"Uh... I guess?" I don't know how she proposes to do that, but before I even have a chance to think, I find out real fast! Because Janice leans toward me, and places her hand on mine. Her face inches so close I can smell the bubble gum on her breath, and then... it happens; her green eyes close and her lips make a beeline for mine.

Everything gets hazy after that, and it isn't until I find myself at home, hiding under Mom's bed, trying to catch my breath, that I finally start to calm down. What on earth was that?! Did a girl I just met try to kiss me? That's so not how things are supposed to progress! These things—things like a first kiss—are important milestones in a person's life; things that one treats with respect! What ever happened to meeting up? Knowing each other? Figuring out if you actually like each other first? Isn't that Dating 101? And then, if everything goes well, then you date and, eventually get that first kiss, and... you know, whatever! That's how it's supposed to work, right? You don't just kiss someone you don't know as if it's no big deal, do you?

And even then, did she actually kiss me or what? Everything happened so fast that I'm not even sure if a stranger took my first kiss or not. I decide that, for the sake of my own sanity, she didn't. And if she did, it doesn't count because she didn't follow the correct protocol.

From where I stay, crouched in my hideout, I hear the front door open. Martin searches for me, calling out my name, but there's no way I'm letting him discover me down here and subsequently drag me back to that madness. When he opens the door to the room, I hold my breath. He doesn't see me, of course, so he moves on to the next one. And then, my phone rings in my pocket, and BOOM... just like that, he finds me.

"So, fancy meeting you here," Martin says, lying down on the floor next to the bed. Then his smiles fades and he actually looks somewhat concerned. "What happened, dude?"

"I'm not going back there," I tell him.

He laughs. "Okay, I get that, but I'm still asking what happened."

"Janice tried to kiss me!"

"Yeah, so?"

"She tried to kiss me, ON THE LIPS!"

He chuckles. "Well, yeah, so?"

"What do you mean so? We just met!"

Martin rolls his eyes. "You shouldn't be so surprised. I mean, I told you, man; you have your own set of charms."

"That's not the problem here!" I then proceed to tell my cousin about how things should develop before one person decides to kiss another person. "You're supposed to ease into it," I explain. "You know, have fun, first?"

Martin looks at me like I've just grown a second head. "I don't want to pop your bubble, dude, but... that's kind of what I've been doing all summer."

"What?"

"Err, how did Janine put it? Hanging out... having fun... that kind of thing."

"Janine?" I say, incredulous. "You changed her name again!"

"Yeah, I'm not good with names."

"I can tell!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Will you come out from under there now, or what?"

"No. I've decided to be a leprechaun from now on."

"You mean you'll keep being a leprechaun."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"Have you really thought about this, John?" Martin says. "Because I'm not sure how much fun it will be to hide under there for the rest of your life, especially when your parents want to get cozy in the middle of the night. You'll get to hear every last moan...every creak of the mattress...every—"

I clap my hands over my ears. "Ugh, dude! Come on, man!"

Martin laughs and apologizes. "OK. Over the line. My bad, my bad. But you actually can't stay there for the rest of your life."

"Well, NOW I can't!"

"That's the spirit! Now get out of there," Martin says. He stands up and waits for me to crawl out from my sanctuary.

Once out, I straighten up and rub my lower back. "Look, Martin," I say. "I'm really sorry."

"Sorry about what, man?"

"I uh... kind of busted your date with Cathy there."

"Does that worry you?"

"Well, yeah. Of course it does."

"It's fine, cousin. No worries; I'll find another girl soon enough."

"But aren't you mad though?"

"Dude," Martin says, "chill." He smiles at me and pats me enthusiastically on my back. "I don't hold grudges. And anyway, girls come and go. You'll get used to it, I promise."

"I don't want to get used to that kind of stuff, though."

"One day, cousin, it will be the only thing you think about."

This irks me, the way he's talking to me like I am six, not just a few months younger than him. "I highly doubt it," I say.

"Whatever you say, bitch. Now let's go get some ice cream. Because it's now my job to teach you how to have fun, it seems."

"Don't we have ice cream in the fridge already?"

Martin shakes his head in frustration. "No, man. I mean let's go outside and get some ice cream cones, breathe some fresh air. Outside, see? Where the fun is! There's a whole world out there."

"But... I don't want to go outside."

"Yeah, I kind of figured you'd say that," Martin says. "Because you're scared some pretty chick is going to take your virginity right out there in broad daylight, right?"

"Shut up!"

"Let's just go to Dad's restaurant. That way your mommy can defend you from all the crazy wild females out there."

I'm not crazy about Martin slagging me, but the idea of hanging out at his Dad's restaurant sounds pretty good. "Okay," I say, "that sounds like a plan."

***

After the Janice/Cathy fiasco, there isn't a single day Martin doesn't drag me out, even on rainy days. And I'm proud to say, I don't feel the need to hide in Mom's room anymore. Because, eventually, summer vacation got the better of me. I forgot about my old lifted tile where the door had dragged and the busted outlet near my bed. And while my days in Celadon Bay weren't exactly peaceful, hanging out with Martin was certainly never boring.

But all good things come to an end, and in the blink of an eye, our summer turns into March, and high school is only days away.

I sit on my bed, looking at my new school clothes, and realize that with Martin in the same class as me, there are going to be a completely new bundle of experiences awaiting both of us. I know this year isn't going to be anything like it was last year at my old school with Steven, who, by the way, has not texted me for months. I'm not really bothered by it, though, because I guess I haven't really had much time to text him either. And anyway, I wouldn't know how to catch him up on all the stuff that's happened this past month. What I do know, though, is that living in Celadon Bay could be a whole lot worse.