she / her pronouns :) 

Could you do another Ben x reader but you're kinda depressed because you didn't know he didn't die when he fell off? request by- @tiger_lillie_flower

Just a quick thing- I'm re-writing the other Ben thing so it's a breakdown, not a panic attack, I remembered the prompt wrong and I still have that one published. I can do friend scenarios on this book too, I updated the request page since most of you last saw it. 😂

tw: mild depression, death, spoilers for the end of season one 

Y/n's POV 

Darius was loosening his grip on the brunette. Don't drop him, don't drop him. 

Seconds later, the look of pure terror on his face as he was falling, arms flailing as if he could grab onto something. 

I shot awake from the nightmare with tears in my eyes. I hoped it was just a dream but it wasn't, as usual. I sighed and made my way to check if the others were still asleep, they were. As I made my way back to my "bed", I started silently crying. 

Why him? And right after he opened up to us. I wish I had some picture or anything, really, to remember him. Not just the recurring nightmare/ memory flash. I don't know how the others just seem to ignore his death. He's gone, never coming back. 

I couldn't help but feel guilty. I could've done something, anything to help, but instead I just stood there, frazzled and looking like an idiot. It's not Darius's fault either. It's the stupid Pterodon's. 

Right after he'd done something twenty times more courageous than I ever will, he gets taken away. 

I grabbed a red crayon that I had found in the mess of rubble from the former luxurious treehouse. The same crayon that Ben had used to mark important spots on the map. 

Why did the dream always have to be him falling? Why couldn't it be Darius saving him? Then again, that might just make my sadness increase. Knowing that will never be the reality. 

During the day when we were all "hanging out", I was never in the moment. When we were just talking to one another or looking for frozen pizza I wasn't ever happy. All the laughs and smiles were fake. 

He never could've survived the fall. Even if he did, he'd be in so much pain that he couldn't even walk. 

I held the crayon closer to me and cried into my sweatshirt. Even if Ben wouldn't want me crying about him, I couldn't help it. Chances are, if Kenji had been the one to fall, I wouldn't be this way. 

I'd still miss him, without a doubt. But Ben made me feel, well, different. We'd have conversations and I'd feel like I was safe. Like we weren't always on edge, having to worry about whatever was around the corner. 

He could always tell when something was wrong, he would always be there. But not anymore. Now he won't ever say anything to me again. I would give anything to just be able to have one more conversation with him. None of the others were the same. 

Brooklynn's POV 

I woke up to the sound of someone crying, my first instinct was to look at Kenji, hence how he was always a baby about everything, but I looked to Y/n's bunk and saw her (eye color) eyes full of tears. 

In an attempt to get up, I knocked over an extra plank of wood and startled the others awake. Everyone was on edge so I can see why something like that would awaken them. 

I saw Y/n flinch and drop- a red crayon? 

"Sorry, I move a little in my sleep." I lied, but we were all awake now. 

"It's fine." Darius shook it off. "Do you guys hear-" He was cut off. 

"Y/n, what's the matter?" Sammy asked and looked over at her. 

She quickly grabbed the crayon that she was holding and put it in her pocket. 

"N- nothing." She wiped her tears and nose with her arm quickly. 

"What's up with the crayon?" Kenji pointed over to her, tiredly. 

"It reminds me of- um- a better time when we actually were safe." She tensed up her shoulders. 

"Y/n, we know you too well to know that you're lying." Sammy sat next to her. 

"Do you guys remember that map from a while ago? The one that Ben," Her eyes got teary again and she swallowed, hard. "The one that Ben colored in." 

"Wait is that-" She was probably the closest to Ben out of all of us. 

"I found it in the rubble." She responded with, quickly. "I don't know why I kept it. It was stupid really, it's not like a crayon will-" Sammy hugged her and Y/n stopped her rant and started crying again. "Why?" She said into Sammy's shoulder. 

"None of us wanted it either." Yasmina joined. "All of us miss him, even if he was a little-" She stopped there. 

"It makes sense to have an object that you link to a lost one, I mean, I have this." Darius pulled out his tooth necklace from under his shirt, quickly breaking the silence. 

"I just wish I could say goodbye to him." Y/n croaked. "And it all happened so fast, I just wish that we could've saved him." 

"And it's no one's fault aside from the Pterodon, none of us should feel guilty," I added, none of us wanted this to happen, it's not like Darius intentionally let Ben's hand slip. "I blame all the sanitizer." I joked. 

"The same sanitizer that saved us from- I don't even remember which dino it was at this point." Kenji closed his eyes. 

"Sounds like Princess Kenji didn't get their beauty sleep." Yasmina laughed. 

"Hey, you're not the one that had to carry you all the way back here, MULTIPLE TIMES, on your back." Kenji directed that at Yasmina. 

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that!" All of us started laughing, and Y/n smiled a little, still a little teary, however. 

We all stayed up a little bit longer before going back to sleep, I made sure to stay awake long enough to see Y/n fall asleep. And she did, with a smile. 

Ben's POV 

I need to get back to them 

a/n Aww, caring Brooklynn. I actually got teary while writing the beginning of this one. :') that was exactly what was going through my head during that scene