Sam hears Jason scream and her entire world crumbles in that instant. Kory rushes over to her, and Sam almost doesn't notice her. The breath is gone from her lungs and a lump forms instantly her throat. Her arms go weak and she swears the only reason she doesn't slip is because her hands are impaled. Kory grabs her though, and pulls her into the window, Dick sliding over to help. Sam sits for a second, letting her hands bleed onto the ground under her as her legs are bent and pulled up to her chest.

She failed.

"Come on." Dick is kneeling in front of her, a hand on her elbow to help her up. "We gotta go."

"I-I-I-I-" Sam chokes on a whine, tears brimming her eyes. "I couldn't...I couldn't save him." She locks eyes with Dick and his heart is broken for her but Jason's alive.

"Someone caught him." Dick's words are slow and Sam thinks he's lying. Jason is human and couldn't survive a fifteen-story fall.

"None of the Titans can fly." Sam's voice is a broken whisper.

"Wasn't a Titan." Dick adds. "Come on." He grabs one of Sam's elbows while Kory grabs the other one to help her up "We have to get out of here." Dick pulls her with him, he's worried maybe she won't follow him if he's not dragging her along.

The three of them, quickly, make their way through the building. Sam still thinks Dick is lying because she understands they need to leave because they didn't take down Deathstroke. He escaped and he's out there. There's no way he's just done. Not with Rose still at the tower. Sam thinks Dick is lying to get them all out of the building and everything is a mix of pain and numbness. It's the worst cocktail ever poured down her throat.

The numbness clouds her bones. It's somehow so painful and painless. That's the thing about being numb. It doesn't always mean pain-free. It lingers and covers her like a black cloud of doom, just looming over her but never doing anything. It taunts her, stalks her. She's felt like this before and it's so hard. It's so painful. It's paralyzing.

They exit the building and Dick is first to start running, followed by Kory. Sam drags her feet as her breathing is ragged. Everything seems to be going in slow motion. She reaches the front of the car that Dick and Kory ran behind and there's Jason. Sam's heart stops in her chest and everything freezes for just a second. Jason gets to his feet and he's okay. Given everything, he is, for the most part, physically okay and Sam has never felt more relieved about anything in her entire life.

She sprints to him and collides into him like a tidal wave at full force, wrapping her arms around his neck. Jason nearly collapses from the impact, the car being the only thing keeping him on his feet. Jason lets out a breath and takes just a second before wrapping his arms around Sam as tightly as he can because he swears she'll disappear if he doesn't.

This hug is the most cathartic thing he has ever experienced and Jason is not a hugger. But, he can't help it right now because Sam is crying into him and she's alive and she's okay and he's alive. And at least right now, she doesn't hate him for him being the reason she was basically dropped from a skyscraper and he never wants to let go of her. He wants to live in his exact moment forever, his eyes closed and his arms wrapped so tight around her, Dick would have to pry him away from her with a crowbar.

Dick looks up from mending the strange man that saved Jason, someone Sam didn't even notice, and looks at Jason and Sam. Sam is on her tiptoes, arms wrapped tightly around his neck while Jason's arms are wrapped around her waist, his hands holding his own forearms. Jason buries his face into the crook of her neck and Dick remembers that night he caught them in the bathroom together. And the night he caught them training and he remembers how Jason told him about Jerry.

The first words that came out of his mouth when Dick picked up the phone were "it's not her fault.". Jason threw himself in front of the bus Dick was driving to try to protect her that night. He took the blame and he never told Sam about it. It's why she was so mad when Dick pointed the finger at Jason. Sam took the blame that night in the sparring room and Dick is watching them feeling like maybe there's something to the two of them, they're chaos together, sure. But he's never seen Jason look so content and after something like this, Dick expects Jason to lose it but he's just hugging Sam with everything in him. But, he feels bad because he knows this night will change everything between the two of them. The relief of being alive will wear off and something will shift.

Sam pulls away, just enough to get a look at his face, as if making sure he's really here. His eyes are dark behind the mask as they move over her face. The whites of his eyes are bloodshot but he looks relieved. Sam has never felt panic like she did with him falling. Heights, foster care, the streets, none of it even competed with that feeling. She was so certain if he died, she'd be devasted, it would destroy her. She was so certain of it before but now, she knows that without a doubt, that would be it. That would be the thing that finally shattered her into slivers of glass that can't be glued together. Everything else that's happened, adding the death of Jason onto that, would be it. Because she adores him with every bone in her body. So, for the first time, Sam commits to it.

Sam places her fingers on his jaw, trying to avoid touching him with her palms, and brings his lips to hers. Jason freezes. He doesn't move, he tenses up completely because not in his wildest dreams did he ever think she'd ever commit to it. It was always jokes and banter, he swore she'd never do anything about it. Jason swore he was the second choice for her. That's why she'd forfeit the game, save his feelings if he decided to keep it going. Something. He never thought it'd get here and then a beat passes and he relaxes into her, squeezing her closer to him. His world stops and it all goes quiet.

The guilt riddled in his blood and bones and veins evaporates. The constant voice in his head, blaming him for everything horrible that's ever happened has finally shut up. It's gone to hide in the shadows and it's quiet. The weight on his shoulders is gone and his heart doesn't feel like it's being crushed by an elephant. Despite it all, despite tonight, in spite of tonight, she kissed him. And for the first time in a long time, Jason Todd does not feel like damaged goods.

The world spins for Sam the second she feels Jason squeeze her. Everything spins and she can't hear the other Titans coming up from behind them, questioning the strange man. She doesn't hear the helicopter above them or the cars still passing by on the street. Everything goes silent around her while her stomach jumps into her throat. She kind of thought Jason didn't want her to commit to it. He tossed her the ball and hoped she'd play, but he never asked. But, he's pulling her closer and relaxing under her touch, unbothered by the blood that's definitely getting on his face and it was never a game. She's so sure of that, it was never a game to him and it wasn't to her. Her heart beats for this boy against her like it's never had a purpose before.

Jason pulls away first, resting his forehead against hers, his eyes closed as he takes a breath. It's like this is the first full breath he's taken all night. And Sam can feel it. Jason Todd thinks he's hard to love and hard to care about but right now, Sam swears caring about him is the easiest thing she's ever done. Despite everything and every bad decision they make, it's the easiest thing she's ever done. Caring about him is like breathing, effortless and easy. She never has to think about it, it's always there tugging at the bottom of her heart and echoing in the back of her head, silently like calming sound of a soft rain again the window. 

"You're alive." Sam's voice is fragile against him.

"So are you." Jason's words are soft as he opens his eyes. "You held on."

"You let go." Sam whispers and she's so thankful he let go.

"I had to." Jason pulls away just enough to fully look at her. "I didn't have a choice."

"I know." Sam nods her head quickly and she moves her hands down to his shoulders, getting a look at the blood on his face. "Thank you for saving my life, Jay."

Jason nods at her and he gets why Gar gets touchy-feely. There are a million things he wants to say to her but he can't get his voice to work and he doesn't know if he should say any of it. He doesn't know how. So, he just pulls her into a tighter hug again because that's the only way he can express how he's feeling. He saved Sam's life tonight by letting go of her but what Sam doesn't know is that she saved his life tonight, too. She saved him because if it weren't for her, he would have fought so fucking hard against Deathstroke and Dr. Light, they would have had no choice but to kill him. Jason doesn't give up that easily but Sam is a reason worth living for, she is that person worth protecting to him. She doesn't know it, but Sam saved his life, too.

"I'm sorry I got blood on you." Sam whispers to him, grabbing her sleeve to try and wipe it off without smearing more blood on him.

"It's alright, don't worry about it." Jason shakes his head at her and if they keep this up, he's sure she'll have his blood on her at some point. It's bound to happen at this rate.

"Hey, guys." Kory calls, getting their attention and this time, they don't step away from each other like they would have yesterday. "Come on, we have to get back to the tower." Kory jerks her head towards the black SUV while Dick and Hank are lifting the strange man's arms over their shoulders to help him up.

Jason and Sam nod at her, finally pulling away from each other. The two of them follow the Titans to the car, getting into the third row with Kory. The car is completely packed but none of them are willing to complain about that small detail right now. Instead, Dick starts driving while Kory has a look at Sam's hands, using the dome light to have a look. She can't see much given the bad lighting and blood everywhere, unfortunately.

Meanwhile, Sam asks about the guy and Jason explains that he came out of nowhere, midair, and caught him, that's it. But, Sam catches the lack of excitement in his voice that would normally be there. He's flat and dry, distant. And she gets it. To say tonight sucked, would be an understatement.

Everything is starting to settle in Jason's bones. The adrenaline is starting to crash and he feels the weight creep back over him, inch by inch. The darkness migrates from the shadows of his head to the very front, damaging every thought that pops into his head. The kiss with Sam, scared the darkness away but now he's in silence, putting himself in his own bubble and thinking about every single thing that happened tonight. The weight almost feels too heavy.

The rest of the ride is quiet but the air is the car is stiff. It's as if Sam and Jason can feel all of them wanting to yell at them at the same time but they're managing to bite their tongues for the drive. But, they're thankful for the silence anyway. It does, however, worry Sam for Jason to be so quiet and have nothing to say about anything. Not to harass Dick about failing tonight or about him dropping Jason. Jason is silent as he stares out of his window. And Sam is worried.

Once they get back to the tower, Sam and Jason are the last to leave the elevator with their heads hung. The other Titans take the strange man off to the infirmary to try and help him. Sam looks over at Jason as he's limping with every step.

"Meet me in the bathroom, okay?" Sam asks. "Your leg."

Jason glances at her. "Yeah, alright." He nods and decides to not to fight it.

Yes, he saved her life but the adrenaline of it all is wearing off and is being clouded by guilt. He saved her but she shouldn't have been in that position in the first place. At the end of the day, he still failed. This was his chance to prove himself and instead, he got kidnapped, tortured, and then dropped from a skyscraper. Every minute that passes, adds ten pounds to his shoulders and it's crushing him. He's supposed to be Robin but he couldn't even take out a lightbulb.

Gar is the first to greet them, rushing over to them and hugging them both at the same time. Sam turns her hands, palm up to hug him back and Jason pats Gar's back. The both of them feel a bit of relief to have Gar hug them. And then they feel worse all over again because they just put Gar through hell. The helicopter was likely the news meaning it was probably live and Gar was probably watching it. At least Sam and Jason were together, knowing what was going on. Gar was stuck here with radio silence from them. And they swear the guilt from it might eat them whole.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay." Gar rushes his words as he pulls away, seeing blood on Sam's clothes, Jason's suit, neck, Jason's jawline. "I mean...are you guys....okay?"

Sam looks to her hands. "It's fine. I'm fine, Gar. Thanks." Sam nods at him and gives him the weakest smile he's ever seen.

"It's mostly hers." Jason states, his voice still flat. "I'm gonna change."

They watch Jason limp off and Gar looks back to Sam with furrowed brows. Jason is hurt and Jason doesn't get hurt. Of course, Gar expects them to be traumatized and weird but not...quiet. Jason is never quiet and Sam looks like she's holding her breath.

"Deathstroke carved the tracker out of his leg." Sam's voice is sad and hushed.

Gar's eyes widen and it feels like he's being stabbed in the chest again. "Seriously?"

Sam nods. "Yeah...so, um..." Sam swallows thickly. "I'm gonna meet him in the bathroom and help him clean it. I just...I think we need to talk about tonight."

"Yeah, yeah, no I get it." Gar nods his head, understanding why they would want to talk about everything. He has to be patient. "I'm really, really happy you're okay."

Sam sees the worry lines and she thinks they might be permanent now, because of her and Jason. "Yeah, me, too. I'm really glad you weren't there." Sam says quietly. "I'll catch up later." Sam cuts it short because if she keeps talking to Gar she'll lose it and she can't lose it, not yet. 

Sam goes right into the bathroom and gets out the medical supplies. She washes and wraps her hands haphazardly with gauze. She's not all that concerned about herself and really just wants to help Jason. This isn't about her because it can't be. This is going to take time to recover from mentally and she knows that but that's thing. She's been through it and while it is unfathomable to have gone through it twice, she'll get better from it because she did before. And tonight was not for her, it was always for Jason who wants nothing more in the world to be the best Robin. He let himself down and Sam can't let him do that to himself. She needs to shelve how she's feeling for him. She can break over it later.

"I can do this in my own, ya know that?" Jason asks as he stands in the doorway.

Sam looks to him, now in a pair of shorts and a black t-shirt. She can see the gash on his leg that's deep, blood stains go down his thigh. "I know." She states as she looks back to him. "But, you cleaned up my hands last time, so sit your ass down, Jay." Sam tries to give him some snark but she can feel that her tone failed.

"Whatever you say, bOsS." Jason mocks how she'd normally respond if he were her.

"Ha-ha." Sam rolls her eyes but gives him a smile.

Jason hops on the counter of the sink, putting his hands behind him. He doesn't like to deal with this stuff. It makes him feel too exposed but after tonight, he can't very well be more exposed to her. And it's Sam, it's different with her. It doesn't feel all that scary and she wants to help. Jason would do anything she told him right now.

Sam gets a wash rag, soaking it before starting to clean his wound. Jason hisses as she touches it. "Sorry." She mutters, trying to be more gentle.

"It's fine." Jason lets out a breath, seeing the gauze in her hands that looks like a complete mess. "How're your hands?"

"Oh," Sam pauses for a second before continuing. "Fine, they don't hurt really and they're barely bleeding." Sam lies, trying to brush it off for Jason's sake.

Jason nods. If it weren't for everything else that happened that night, he wouldn't be feeling too guilty about her hands. It would just have been an accident of trying to save them, which it was. But given everything that happened, he blames himself because it's about the injury she sustained tonight because of him. It was his idea for her to melt the glass and that's what lead her to fall onto the shards. Deathstroke beat her up and now she has cuts on her hands and he's blaming himself for it.

Sam glances up to him, the distant look in his eyes haunting her. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." His voice is stern this time.

"It's okay if you're not. You were just dropped fifteen stories." Sam states as she cleans the dried blood around his thigh.

"I'm fucking fine." Jason huffs. "I can do this myself if you're gonna fucking badger me, alright?"

He's completely fine, except for the fact that he feels like he's still falling, the pain in his leg, his hands shaking, his arms feeling like they'll fall off at any moment, the whole thought that he's a failure, and the guilt that's eating him from the inside out. He's completely fine, besides all of that.

"Fuck," Sam lets out a scoff. "I'm just saying that it's okay if you're not, alright?" Sam glances up to him and his eyes are trained on the wall in front of them, glossy and it breaks a part of Sam. Sam looks back down at his leg. "It's normal. It's okay. You don't have to be fine around, Jay." Sam's voice goes quiet. "It's you and me, okay?" Sam looks up to him and Jason's eyes just barely glance in her direction as if looking at her makes it real. "I'm not fine, for the record. Nightmares will definitely be coming back in full force but ya know, you told me to talk about shit. I did and it does help. You know that and I know that. So." Sam sucks in a breath and she wants Jason to talk because he has to be okay.

"I'm sorry, alright?" Jason huffs. "I'm not trying to be an asshole, it's just," He pauses. "It's my fault, alright? And it fucking sucks."

"It's not your fault." Sam shakes her head as she continues to clean the wound.

Jason scoffs, shaking his head as if to not believe her. "Right, just my dumbass idea, right?"

"No," Sam's voice is soft as she ditches the rag in the sink and reaches for a few butterfly stitches, wishing she knew how to do proper stitches because Jason probably needs them. "It's not. I was mad." Sam feels the guilt wash into her blood. "You called me useless."

"I didn't mean it." Jason's words are rushed and he finally looks down at her fully. The guilt coats his stomach like cement. "I'm really sorry."

"No, I know." Sam nods at him, but doesn't keep her eyes on him, getting the sense he doesn't want her looking at him very long. "We say these in high-stress situations that we don't mean." Sam states. "It sucks but it happens. I didn't mean it and you didn't mean. It's not your fault."

"Yeah, it fucking is." Jason groans, not wanting to talk about it anymore. "Can't you pick any other topic?"

"It's not and I will tell you that every single day until you believe me." Sam ignores the question because she knows he's going to drown himself in his own guilt if she doesn't get him to listen to her.

She'll suck up her fear of heights and scream it from the rooftops if he needs her to. This isn't his fault and Sam will do everything and anything to get him to believe her. She can't let him drown himself. She can't lose him.

"I got you kidnapped, beat up again, and dropped from a fucking skyscraper." His eyes are narrowed at her but his voice is pleading. It's as if he's pleading and begging for her to put the blame on him. Let this be his fault. He deserves it. Jason huffs. "If I would have just....fucking listened and stayed behind, none of this would have fucking happened."

"We." Sam corrects him and he quirks a brow at her. "We, had we listened but there were three of us who didn't. So, it's not your fault."

Jason thinks she's just trying to make him feel better. How isn't this his fault? Everything about tonight came down to the decisions he made. Maybe had he just escaped instead of helping her, he could have brought to the Titans to where Deathstroke was and saved her from the rest of the night. Had he been faster, maybe they both could have escaped. If he could have escaped the restraints on the building, he could have gotten her to melt the window faster and they would have been saved. This is his fault, every single way he looks at it. It is.

"Yes, it fucking is and you don't have to fucking baby me trying to make me feel better." Jason barks and Sam pauses again, eying him. "This is on me, okay? I had one fucking job and I fucking failed at it." Jason's voice cracks.

"We all fuck up, Jason." Sam keeps her voice calm and kind.

"Not like this." The tip of his nose starts to turn pink. "I could have gotten you, Dick, and Kory killed tonight. Being Robin is the best thing that's fucking happened to me and I fucked that up, too." Jason sucks in a ragged breath and he just can't take it. The night is too much and it's all overflowing like a dam after a hurricane. "It's my fault, Sammy."

Sam shakes her head. "You are a great fucking Robin and you know I wouldn't tell you that if I didn't mean it. You have saved people. Tonight was just...a lot. Deathstroke was just better than all of us. We never stood a chance."

"We should have though!" Jason argues. "I fuck everything up. I touch anything and it just gets messed up over and over again. It's like I'm fucking cursed."

It breaks Sam's heart to hear that's how he views himself. He doesn't deserve it and she wants to hunt down every single person that has ever made him feel this way.

"It's....it's fucking heavy, alright?" Jason lets out a breath and he hates this. He hates feeling useless and weak and vulnerable. He hates it all and he wants to leave and run but he doesn't. "It's all my fault and I have to live with it."

"Put it on me." Sam states, similarly to what he did to her that night at Jerry's and Jason's brows raise. "You wanna blame someone? Blame me. That's fine. I will carry it for you, Jay." Sam starts placing the butterfly stitches carefully. "You carry it for me and I carry it for you, okay?" Jason shakes his head and he opens his mouth to argue but Sam starts first. "You do it for me, right?" Jason nods. "Okay, let me do it for you. I am horrible at reading but Gar lets me read his comics because they're easier and I will read those to you if that will help. I will do whatever you want me to to help you. I promise, I can carry it."

It simmers in his stomach and in his chest. His chest burns, aching with the offer because maybe it's the nicest thing someone's ever said to him. But he can't let her take that blame. It's a heavy thing to carry and for him, no less.

"Not your responsibility." His voice is weak this time, almost defeated and searching for a reason to keep the argument going.

Sam can't tell if this is one of his self-sabotaging things, where he pushes and pushes and pushes the argument until the other person literally gives up. Or, he fights and fights, trying to get someone to agree with his haunted thoughts or say something worse about him because he thinks he deserves it. She doesn't know if it's self-sabotage or if he's genuinely having that hard of a time believing her. But, either way, she feels this anger bubble in her stomach because how could the world have the nerve to treat him so poorly that they're even having this conversation right now?

People give up on him. It's what they do. Jason pushes those people away because he doesn't deserve the help. He pushes them away because if he pushes and pushes and pushes, they eventually leave. They give up and no one is ever up to the task to really, ever, truly help him even through his shit. No one ever sees through his shit and then there's Sam. She sees through him like cellophane. He is transparent and it makes him want to explode. No one sees him for him but she does. It's just him and Sam.

"I need you to listen to me." Sam cups his cheeks and Jason gets a good look at the fat lip and black eye this time. "You are one of my favorite people on this planet and I am not giving up on you. You can push all the fuck you want, Jason Todd but I'm gonna be up your ass every fucking day until I die. I give a very big fuck about you, okay? You do not deserve to blame yourself. You do not deserve what happened tonight, okay? You are good enough, Jay." Her eyes are locked on his and her voice is unwavering. It is stern and solid but lacking harshness. It's breaking her seeing him like this and Jason can tell. But, he's never seen anyone, ever like this with him. If anyone else had ever said any of that, he isn't sure he'd believe them but he believes Sam. But, he has one last argument because that's what he does. Push until he can't push anymore.

"Not to Dick or Bruce." 

"Fuck them! You're good enough to me, Jay." Your voice breaks with the last sentence, her brows are knitted together and her breathing is slightly ragged. Her eyes are rimmed with tears and Jason can't argue anymore. That's enough for him.

He nods against her hands. "Okay."

Sam's eyes scan over his face, as if making sure he's not just saying that to get her to stop. Sam nods. "When you can't sleep, you'll come to me, right?"

"Yeah," Jason nods his head once more. "You do the same, then, right?"

Sam nods. "Yeah." She normally goes to Gar but this is too much. He's had so many nights awake with her because of nightmares and Jason was there this time. If she can't sleep, she'll go to him this time because at least they'll be together in your guilt.

"Thanks." Jason states, "For everything."

Sam gives him a smile. "I'd do anything for you, Jason Todd."

Sam moves her hands from his face and wraps her arms around his neck. She pulls him in for a tight hug. His arms wrap around her waist and he buries his head into her neck because this is cathartic. She helps him breathe again. When it feels like the air is being ripped from his lungs, she pushes it all back in. He'll never be able to repay her for it.

And because of that, he knows he can't say anything about how he feels about her. It's silly to think about that right now but he does. He does because he adores her and that is the one thing he is certain about. But, tonight, he almost got her killed. She is begging him to blame her because she worries too much about him. If he told her and she made that decision to follow him into the dark, he'd never forgive himself if he ruined her. She's worried about ruining Gar and Jason is worried about ruining her. But, he can keep her in a safe distance, friends. Keep everything else silent between them because Gar is good. Gar is careful and safe and protective. Gar is everything Jason Todd is not. Jason swears his best friend is better for her and she's better for him. So, he swallows the thunder in his chest and bites the sour taste of silence.

Sam pulls away and nods at him. "Thank you again for saving my life."

Jason smiles softly at her. "Yeah, you're welcome." Jason clears his throat, glancing to her hands and then back to her. "Switch with me." Jason jerks his head up while Sam takes a step back. "You did a shit job with your hands." Jason scoffs as he hops off the counter. "I'll do it."

Sam gives him a tender smile. "Was a little too worried about you to focus on it." Sam shrugs but does as he asks and gets on the counter.

"You don't have to worry about me." Jason assures her, taking one of her hands in his and unwraps the botched gauze job.

"Always gonna." Sam quips.

Jason lets out a huff as he gets the gauze off, this time getting a good look at her hands. Her hands are practically shredded, still bleeding. He can see some of the muscle through one of the large cuts and it twists his stomach in a knot. He is not squeamish but it's Sam and it's her hands. He shakes his head and moves to the other hand.

"Doesn't really hurt." Sam clears her throat, seeing the look on Jason's face.

"Yeah, okay." Jason scoffs. "Who's bullshitting now?"

"Well," Sam lets out a chuckle. "I'm not bullshitting, doesn't really hurt which, uh, probably isn't good, right?"

Jason looks up at her, still holding her hand and he pauses for just a second. "Might just be adrenaline. You should be fine." Jason reassures her.

"How's your hearing?"

"Sounds like I got a gallon of water lodged in my damn ear." Jason huffs but there's a smile tugging at his lips.

"Here." Sam says as Jason finishes unwrapping her hand and she grabs a wash rag.

Sam rinses it under warm water and motions for Jason to come closer. He does as asked without hesitation, standing between in her legs. Jason dodges eye contact while Sam moves his head so she can see his right ear. There's a heavy blood streak down the side of his neck. She isn't sure exactly how hard he was hit or if he was hit more than once after he was knocked out but by the blood, she assumed it's not good and he was hit a little too hard. But she doesn't badger him, she just takes the warm rag and starts to clean the blood down his neck.

Jason's jaw clenches with the movement and he's never had anyone take care of him, not like this. Bruce and Alfred showed him how to clean his cuts and wounds properly, but it was never this. They mostly told him what to do, which was also partially because Jason wouldn't let them actually help even when they did offer. This is so new to him and a part of him doesn't mind. It feels nice being taken care of and because of that, he feels a little uncomfortable, in a good way. It makes his jaw clench and he straightens his stance just a little. When he does, Sam is more gentle and slower.

That's the thing, Sam can read him. She might not be good at reading books, but she's very good at reading at Jason. Sam knows Jason has never had the privilege of having someone do this for him, he doesn't have to do it on his own, so she's slow. She doesn't want to scare him off. She's gentle and careful with him.

"I got it all." Sam's voice is quiet as she pulls the rag away.

Jason finally looks at her and he struggles so much because he just cares so much about her. He doesn't deserve her tenderness or her care. He doesn't deserve her but he can't bring himself to pull away either. Instead, he rests his forehead against hers and takes just a few seconds to breathe.

Sam's heart stutters in her chest. She never thought Jason would be the one to move closer. Especially right now. There is no banter here, just care for the other. It's soft and gentle. Quiet. The room is quiet and her head is quiet. Her eyes close and she swears she feels so at home. She doesn't feel that weight on her bones like she usually does. She feels...happy. Right here, right now, with Jason. But, this is just a moment and they cannot live in this moment forever.

Jason squeezes his eyes before pulling away and going back to her hands. "I'm sorry." He clears his throat. "We gotta talk about that kiss." His eyes are tired and red. "I can't. I'm sorry." Jason glances to her and then to her hands again. "Please don't hate me." There's an innocence in his voice with the request.

"I could never hate you." Sam lets out a sigh. "I get it, it's okay." Sam assures him.

She wants to ask why, after all the jokes and banter and his reaction to her kissing him, she knows it's more than a game. She wants to know why he can't and not because she's offended or mad, but because she's worried this is another way for Jason to self-sabotage. The two of them are very similar. They have a lot in common and they think similarly. But, one of their main differences in how they react to good things and people. Jason pushes until they leave, sometimes it doesn't even take much. And Sam, she's been told her entire life she's a flight risk even when she tries not to be. But, right now, with Jason, she doesn't want to run from it. Not now. So, she finds it in herself to ask.

"Can I ask why though?" Her words are slow, etched with hesitance.

"I'm fucked up." There's a hopelessness in his voice.

"So am I." Sam shrugs and she's not convincing him, just stating something that should be obvious.

"Okay, we're both a fucking  mess and that's not fair to either us." Jason shrugs his shoulders and maybe he is self-sabotaging a little. "You like Gar anyway, I'm kind of into Rose." His voice turns nonchalant as he tries his best to brush it off.

It's more than all of that. It's that Sam would die for him and he would never let her. He can't let her. It's that he's seen her through this terrible, horrible shit and he knows what happens when he gets involved. More terrible, horrible shit. Jason is aware that he is reckless and impulsive. He has no intention on stopping, it's how he is. It's rooted so deep in his blood, he can't imagine not being reckless or impulsive. He's also Robin, even if Bruce doesn't want him to be right now. He is. With all that, he might die one day because of it. Bruce hasn't and Dick hasn't, but he might. He doesn't get it, but that would be another terrible, horrible thing Sam would have to suffer through. At least, if they're friends, maybe it won't hurt so bad when it does happen.

Jason Todd believes he poisons everyone around him, he will not poison her. Not her.

"Yeah, that's true." Sam clears her throat and decides to drop the conversation. He's right and she knows that. It's not worth discussing further. "I get it." Sam assures him. "We okay then?" Sam offers him the fakest smile she's ever given.

"Yeah, of course." Jason gives her a weak smile as he finishes wrapping her hands properly.

"Gonna get some rest?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, I'm gonna train a bit."

"You're insane." Sam lets out a laugh and she laughs but she worries about him training.

"You did the same shit." Jason chuckles, the warm chuckle fills his chest but there's a hollowness in it.

"Yeah, that was different." Sam defends, eyes squinting slightly at him. "Can I stop you?"

Jason shakes his head. "Nope." Jason sucks in a breath. "I'm fine, alright? I won't train hard." Jason's voice is mocking as he forces a grin onto his face.

"I'll kick your ass if you do. I can do that now." Sam holds her head up high.

"In your fucking dreams, babe." Jason quips and for a second, it feels normal because it came out with ease.

"You wish I were dreaming about you, shithead." Sam mocks and it gets Jason to laugh again.

"You wish." Jason chortles and backs away so Sam can get off the counter. "Thanks for helping."

Sam smiles softly at him and nods. "Yeah, of course."

"Meet up later?" Jason asks as he walks towards the door.

"Ya know where to find me." Sam lets out a gentle laugh as she looks to the ground and back to him.

"Alright." Jason nods at her before exiting the bathroom, his heart weighing heavily in his chest.

With Jason gone, the strength Sam had starts fleeting. The smile falls and her heart plummets. Her eyes burn and water as she cleans up the supplies. She works as fast as she can so she can get back to her room and shut the door, shut the whole tower out for a few minutes.

When she gets back to her room, she's so quick that she accidentally slams the door but can't be bothered to even notice. She walks over to the table she has against the window, a sketchbook and liners scattered about the top. She places her hands on the surface and sucks in a ragged breath. Her chest feels like it's going to cave in and tears spill from her eyes. Her head hangs and she's so tired of the pain. Being strong for Jason wasn't easy but it had to be done. She had to because he was going to fall apart. If Sam falls apart in front of him, because of him, he will lose it and she couldn't let that happen. But now she's alone and she's reminded and haunted about being kidnapped twice and beaten and almost fucking murdered. She is seventeen and has nearly been murdered by adults twice. How the fuck does that happen? She was dropped from a skyscraper and she's just supposed to live with that forever.

"Sam?" Gar's voice pulls her from her thoughts.

Sam shakes her head. "Go away, Gar." Sam's voice breaks as she sniffles.

Gar's brows furrow and his heart breaks. He can see her shaking and hear her crying. He's worried about her in the same way she's worried about Jason. The last time she flew off the deep end, she went after Jerry. What if she goes after Deathstroke? He kidnapped her and tried to kill her. It wouldn't be too far-fetched for her to do that and Gar can't lose her. He swears that he can't lose her and the guilt starts gnawing at the pit of his stomach, the voice in the back of his head is howling at him. This has to be on him, too because he never should have let it happen. He's supposed to protect the people he cares about.

"Are you okay?" Gar asks, taking a step forward.

"Go away!" Sam lets out a sob, gritting her teeth with her eyes slammed shut. She can't do it right now.

"I'm not gonna do that." Gar's voice is quiet as he steps closer to her.

"Please, I can't..." Sam lets out a cough. "I can't do this right now, okay?" Sam keeps her back to him and her legs feel weak. The night has sucked all of the energy out of her like a black hole.

"I'm worried about you." Gar's voice cracks and that's it.

Sam lets out a wail that sends a dagger through Gar's heart. He nearly shuts his eyes with the sound as if that will damper the noise. Her legs start to give out and Gar is quick to move behind her, wrapping his arms around her. The two of them go to the floor, Sam holding onto his arms tightly as she sobs. Gar squeezes her in his lap, holding back his own tears as he rocks them back and forth slowly.

It's a tidal wave that finally pulls Sam under. There is only so much one person can take and she is at the end of her rope. This wasn't supposed to happen. She is traumatized and scared and tired. She is fucking exhausted and she wants to let the water in, let it take the air from her lungs where she can finally feel relief because it's all just too much. The guilt glooms over her like the Reaper and she knows she can't live with him staring back at her, a cruel reminder that she's the reason she almost lost her best friend tonight. If she were faster, if she were stronger, if she were more focused, if she didn't care so much about him, if she weren't so fucking scared, it all would have went differently. The Reaper will haunt her more than Deathstroke, more than Jerry because this one time, this is on her. This is her fault and when she tells Jason to put it on her it's because she believes, truly, that this is her fault. If anyone deserves to be haunted for it, if anyone deserves to drown, it's her. So, she sobs and breaks as Gar holds her as close to him as possible and tells her over and over and over again that it's okay.

Gar left her door open and now Dick is standing in the doorframe watching. All he can see is Gar's back to him, rocking back and forth with Sam sobbing in his arms. Dick was just on his way back from the straining room where Jason has his leg bandaged and is still kicking and punching his way around the training room. He isn't pulling his punches, he's just training and training and training. He was on his way here to check on Sam and now he's witnessing something absolutely crushing.

He expected her to be not good, to say the least, but outright completely breaking wasn't what he expected. Jason is going to train himself into the ground and Sam is having a mental breakdown and Gar is right in the middle of the two of them. This night did more than break the three of them because Dick is watching all of this happen to the three teens that he took in. The three teens he's been training. And part of this is on him. He's worried he'll end up losing all three of them in one sweep. He's supposed to be better than this and the only thing he can do is walk away because he can't say or do anything to make this easier for any of them.

"He dropped us." Sam whimpers against Gar, ragged breaths leaving her lips.

"I know." Gar whispers to her. "I saw it." His voice breaks and he hates himself for it. He's supposed to be strong for her but he can't.

Sam shoots forward and looks at him with horror. "What? What the fuck do you mean you saw it?" Her words are jumbled together, her face soaked in her own tears. Sam figured he did because of course they would have the news on, but it's shocking and devasting to have the confirmation anyway.

Gar nods, his eyes haunted. "It was on the news."

Sam swings her arms around his shoulders and more tears leak from her eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's not your fault." Gar pulls away so he can look at her face. "It's not."

"You shouldn't have had to see that and--"

"Stop." Gar cuts her off. "It's okay. I'm okay." Gar lies and he's not okay. The sight of watching two of his favorite people get dropped fifteen stories will haunt him for the rest of his life.

"It's not okay." Sam whines. "It's not because you saw it. Because I should have done something. I could have and I didn't. We got kidnapped and beat up and Jason got fucking tortured and it's all my fucking fault, Gar." Sam lets out another sob. "And Dick picked Jason."

There's a lot to unpack but they have the rest of the night so Gar picks one thing at a time. "What do you mean Dick picked Jason?"

"We were hanging there and Dick picked Jason to save." The cry that leaves her lips this time is so fragile, Gar thinks if he breathes too heavily it'll tear.

Sam knows that picking Jason was possibly a smarter option. She actually gets it because if it were Dick and Jason, Sam would have picked Jason, too. She knows she can't possibly hold that against him because Jason was further down than she was. Sam could have pulled herself up, she's strong enough. Saving Jason was a priority and she knows that but right now, with the weight of the world on her shoulders, it hurts.

It hurts because Dick didn't pick her. Dick didn't save her. He could have and he didn't. And he should have. In some way, Dick should have been able to save both of them because he was supposed to be Robin but he didn't. It doesn't matter that Kory was there because Sam and Jason are Dick's responsibility. And it hurts so bad Sam wants her heart to stop beating because if it stops, maybe the pain will stop, too.

How is Gar supposed to respond to that? Call Dick an asshole? Maybe that's what Sam wants to hear, he just can't tell. Sam is logical, she understands why people do the things they do, usually. So, he knows, that somewhere inside that broken heart of hers, he knows she gets it. So, he won't blame Dick.

"I'm so sorry, Sam." Gar says quietly because apologizing might work better than putting blame on people.

"I get it, ya know?" Sam lets out a cough and a ragged breath. "I get it because I would have saved Jason, too but it hurts anyway because I could have died again and it's just not fucking fair and Gar it fucking hurts." Sam sobs once more, putting her hands over her face. "Make it stop, please." The word please shatters every piece of Gar. No amount of superglue is going to put him back together after that.

"Come here." Gar moves her hands from her face because he needs to do something, she doesn't deserve to feel like this. "You're gonna be okay." Gar nods at her, cupping her face in his hands just as she did for Jason. "It's gonna hurt and I wish I could make it stop but I can't." Gar states, watching the tears fall from Sam's eyes as her chin quivers. "But, it's not your fault, okay? You did everything you could. Deathstroke was just ahead of you guys the whole time. He was ahead of the other Titans, too."

"I should have been able to save us." Sam whimpers.

Gar shakes his head. "You did everything you could and that's good enough. You melted the window, right?" Gar asks and Sam nods. "So, you did save yourself. Deathstroke was just faster."

"But, if I were faster then I could have melted the window and gotten us both in while Kory and Dick fought him."

"He would have seen though, right?" Gar tries to talk her into believing him. He wasn't there so he doesn't know but he can only guess everyone could see through the windows. Sam nods. "So, if you tried to get into the window, even while he was fighting Dick and Kory, he would have seen and set the bomb off anyway, right?"

Sam nods, realizing that's probably true. "But, I was focused on Jason and I wasn't fast enough. You know I can sense when people are gonna attack and I dropped the fucking ball." Sam whimpers but it's calmer this time.

"But, none of us knew Deathstroke was working with Dr. Light. Why would you be on high alert?" Gar asks and he's just trying to give her some reasoning. He wants her to stop blaming herself. He's worried about her. "You've never seen Jason fight before and you said you liked to watch Robin videos on YouTube, it was cool, right?" Gar asks and Sam nods. "Okay, so it makes sense, ya know?"

Sam sniffles and nods her head. "I should have known though."

"Hey, no. That's not how it works, okay?" Gar moves his hands to her shoulders. "Rachel and me got kidnapped and I got tortured." Gar states with furrowed brows. "We also got Dick and Kory tortured." Gar lets out a sigh. "We should have known. We should have expected something but we didn't but that wasn't our fault. It was a hospital, we shouldn't have needed to expect something like that to happen to any of us. It wasn't our fault then. And this, this isn't your fault either. This is Deathstroke's fault and Dr. Light. Dick didn't blame us and he's not going to blame you for this so you shouldn't either."

Sam rubs her eyes and nods her head. She has a hard time believing him but Gar is making her feel a little bit better. "I'm just..." Sam swallows the lump in her throat. "You and Jason just mean so much to me and I don't know what I would do if I lost either of you and I've done everything I can to survive. I don't wanna die either. It's...so fucking much." Sam lets out a breath. "And I know that I should put myself first sometimes that like my mental health is important, blah blah blah, but I'm also so worried about Jason because you didn't see him in the bathroom tonight. And how am I supposed to deal with tonight," A few more tears come from Sam's eyes as she works herself up again. "And Jason because I won't abandon him and he needs me, he needs us. It's just so much and so fucking loud."

Gar cups her face again and he offers her the softest of smiles. "We take one day at a time, okay?" He asks. "I care about you and you don't have to do this alone. You or Jason." Gar states. "You're not alone in this, I promise."

Sam backs down. Her thoughts swirl in the forefront of her mind like that waterslide at the big waterparks. Just swirling, waiting to be sucked into the open but she pushes them down because Gar is trying to help and it's working. Sam hates feeling alone but Gar promises that he won't leave her alone with this, it means everything to her. She can't be alone in it, not right now. And she's so grateful for him.

"Okay." Sam nods, putting her hands over his.

"Wanna keep talking about it?" Gar asks.

Sam shakes her head. "No, no, not anymore. I want...to forget it." Sam nods quickly.

"Okay." Gar nods and he wishes she'd talk more about it. He doesn't want it to simmer too long but he won't push. "Movie?"

"Please."

"Okay." Gar offers her a smile, brushing her hair from her face. "Let's get up."

Sam nods softly, carefully getting up, feeling the weight of everything making her limbs heavy. But, she gets to her feet, Gar following as she does. He's standing close to her, as if afraid if he steps one step away, she'll shatter again.

"C-can I see if Jason wants to watch?" Sam sucks in a breath, her breathing uneven. "He's training and um...ya know?" Sam dodges his eyes and even after all that, she reverts back to worry about Jason. Worrying about him is significantly better than trapping herself in her thoughts about herself.

"Why the hell is he training right now?" Gar's voice goes up an octave. He's really starting to wonder if anyone in this tower has any healthy coping mechanisms. He's guessing not.

Sam shrugs. "It's Jason." The sigh that escapes her is defeated.

"We should probably tell Dick, then. Lock the training room or something." Gar suggests and Jason is his best friend. Gar doesn't want Jason running himself into the ground or causing himself more physical or mental pain. He's had enough for one lifetime.

Sam shakes her head quickly. "Hell no, Jason'll be pissed. If Dick doesn't fucking figure it out, that's on Dick." Sam snaps, getting a quick glance from Gar. "Sorry, it's just," Sam grits her teeth. "Had he just let Jason fucking help, none of this would have happened." Sam scoffs. "We can't tell Dick."

Gar nods, not liking the response but Sam's right. "Yeah, we should probably invite him then." The corner of Gar's mouth twitches up slightly into something sad and hopeless.

"Thanks, Gar." Sam smiles shyly at him.

"Yeah, of course." Gar's smile is sad.

Sam tells Gar she's going to change and then grab Jason. While Sam changes, Gar goes off to his room to grab one of his blankets. For Sam, it feels good to get out of her blood-stained clothes. There's a comfort that fills her blood when she puts on her pajamas, feeling far more comfortable in them. It's as if changing, puts a close on the night. It's over and that, for right now, is what's important. She is safe in this tower.

Sam walks into the training room where Jason is punching one of the punching bags, favoring his left leg. It pains her to even watch. He shouldn't be training at all.

"Hey, Jay?" Sam calls and her voice brings a sense of comfort over Jason.

He stops looking over to her as she takes a few steps toward him. "What's up?" He asks.

"Uh...Gar and me are gonna watch a movie." Sam states and she feels nervous for the first time around him. "Do you wanna come?"

Jason lets out a breath, looking to the ground and back to her. "Nah, I'm good," his words are short as he turns back to the bag and Sam won't take no for an answer.

She closes the distance between them, walking just to the side of him as he takes a swing. "Why not?"

"Don't want to." His words are snippy now and Sam isn't having it. He's watching the movie even if she has to drag him out of here by his ear.

"Jay." Sam urges and Jason ignores her. "Jason." Sam's voice goes louder, a hoarseness to it but Jason keeps ignoring her. She grows frustrated but chooses not to show it. Instead, she walks up to him, putting a hand on his bicep and Jason stops punching. He glances at her as she moves in front of him. Her puffy and red eyes don't get unnoticed by him. "You're not doing this to yourself, okay? It's fucking late anyway."

Jason scans her face and he can't let her down again, not tonight. "You're both fucking worried about me and I don't wanna fucking talk about it, alright?"

"I don't want to either, that's why we're watching a movie. We don't have to talk, just the three of us." Sam scrunches her face as if Jason should have known she's also done with the talking.

Jason lets out a sigh. He is tired. He's somehow consumed with his own thoughts and none at all from the exhaustion that has his head turning foggy. Jason doesn't like to listen to many people who have his best interests at heart, but he decides to listen to her this time.

"What movie?"

"Didn't discuss one, but I always really liked Now You See Me." Sam gives him a cheeky smile, knowing she's won this one.

"Which is what?"

"Magicians—"

Jason lets out a genuine laugh and every bit of Sam feels better with the sound, it's better than her favorite song. "Magicians?! I might be thespian but at least I'm not a fucking magician."

"Yeah and are you robbing banks with your theater songs?" Sam quips and Jason's eyes narrow but the corner of his mouth twitches into a grin.

"Robbing banks?"

"Mhm, master magicians get together, rob a few banks. It's such a good movie, I swear. I think you'll like it."

"Guess you've convinced me." Jason pulls the boxing globes from his hands.

"I am very convincing." Sam wiggles her brows at him, Jason looking to the ground as a response.

He nods. "Yeah, you've got your moments."

"Come on, then." Sam sticks her hand out for him and he glances at it before looking back to her with a disapproving look. He can see the red against the white gauze.

"Yeah, I'm not grabbing your fucking hand." Jason scoffs.

Sam looks down and nods. "Yeah, that's fair. Ya know, if had like fire powers or something--"

"No." Jason lets out a laugh. "No!" His nose scrunches.

"What?" Sam laughs.

"Gonna cauterize your own fucking hands?"

"YEAH!" Sam yells through a booming laugh. "As if you wouldn't do the same! That's how you knew I was gonna say that!"

Jason's laugh is loud and brings warmth to Sam's chest and for a second, she thinks he might be okay. "Maybe!" His eyes are wide, not distant or filled of pain for just that second.

"Exactly!" Sam chortles. She lets out a sigh. "Come on, Gar is waiting." Sam nods her head towards the door, interlocking her arm with his.

Back in the room, Gar has the movie ready with a bowl of freshly popped popcorn and three Gatorades for all of them. He knew Jason wouldn't say no to Sam. Gar isn't blind or stupid. He knew Jason would listen so he prepared stuff for all three of them. And Jason is his best friend, he wants to make sure Jason is okay just as much as Sam. He can't imagine losing either one of them.

Sam sits between the two boys as she holds the bowl of popcorn on her lap so everyone can reach. They share one of Gar's fleece blankets as Gar presses play on the movie. Sam and Jason don't have much of an appetite but Gar went through the trouble of making sure they had popcorn and if neither of them eat it, Gar will worry more. So, the two of them take a few pieces every so often to not look too suspicious.

As the movie plays on, Jason feels sleep yanking on his bones. The whole night was a wreck and the sun has officially come up. He's been up well over twenty-four hours and the stress of everything has him more exhausted than he's felt in his entire life. The adrenaline crash was one thing, but this is different. He's so comfortable sitting here watching a magic movie with his best friends that sleep pulls and tugs because it's the safest he's felt. It's the most comfortable he's felt and he doesn't feel so vulnerable around the two of them. He fights it as much as he can because he wants to finish the movie and he doesn't want to be the first one to fall asleep so he tries to just rest his eyes. Resting his eyes quickly turned into sleep taking over and his head flops onto Sam's shoulder.

She looks down and gains a soft smile with him asleep. She's been wanting to pass out since she sat down. Between the crying and the panic and beatings and the pain, she is fucking exhausted. Her bones hurt, she's nauseous from lack of sleep, and her eyes burn with every blink. Her vision has even gone a little blurry but she's been fighting it because she couldn't sleep without knowing Jason was okay. But, now he's asleep on her shoulder and she feels at peace. So, she places her head on Gar's shoulder and closes her eyes.