Finally, I was up for the class presentation on Dante's Divine Comedy, one I had worked my mind out. The printouts in my hand merely looked at, and while I spoke, my heart seemed stuck in my throat. My limbs were shaking, and even though I had tried making eye contact with everyone in the room, I could hardly read their expression. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recalled every single word that I had read and researched, anchoring on them and them alone, coxing myself to my roots, rolled my soul in my passion, and worked my way out. My voice wavered a couple of times, and I was sweating profoundly.

I was ready to ignore everyone's opinion and head right into my cocoon, but it did leave an impression on everyone at the end. A girl from my side whispered that it was freaking amazing. I could only respond with a nervous chuckle. The realization of those words tasted sour on my tongue. It was only a few days since I brutally neglected my Dad's recommendation for the internship.

I had known the implications of it. Instead, I would rather put my mind on something that occupied my heart than being torn between the two. As usual, I disappointed both my Dad and my mom. Although, he didn't give up on me. Maybe, for the moment, he was one with my decision. But he knew when the independent girl in me would claw on my soul- I would have to choose between my heart and mind.

My novel got only ever touched after I started living a reality with the protagonist of my story. The plot, turning messier every passing day. Speaking of which, Jake didn't write a word back after he dropped me off at college but went on to check on Brinda. There were no texts or calls, not even after I told him about my meeting with Seb. I was hoping for a jealous response or a snarky comment, but nothing came. I checked my phone now and then while watching Seb from the bleachers.

The soccer team covered the playground, practicing for the inter-university championship. Seb led his team as they did the laps. While it was fun to watch sweaty athletes running around the field in their jerseys, it wasn't enough to distract me from the curly-haired guy who somehow seemed distant.

"Damn it. You better not be busting your knuckles or dying on me."

I kept his chat window open, gnawing on my bottom lip as my fingers hovered over the keypad, contemplating on typing in another message. There were already ten of them on seen but not answered as if he was deliberately trying to piss me off. I switched the window to my contacts, pulling out his number from the list, and let my finger hover over it for a second before I tapped the screen. It rang till the last second before the obnoxious sound of the lady informing me about his ignorance.

"Goddamn it. What's wrong with you, Noodlehead?"

Earlier in the morning, while we were driving to the campus, I had told him not to expect me in his apartment. I was only trying to be playful with him expecting him to whine over it and finally make me stay with him, but he didn't. My smugness dissolved the moment he said okay, as if a day before, he wasn't clingy and was dying to keep me with himself all the time.

"Mostly, girls tend to forget their phones when my team is on the ground," Seb's voice almost startled me. I took a minute to recollect my whereabouts and sighed the moment I did. "But then when did I ever see you around here. I'm hoping to see you at the tryouts if you like soccer by any chance."

Seb settled on the bleachers beside me. He wept away some of the droplets of sweat from his forehead with his thumb. His face was red with all the running he did on the ground. Even then, his squared jaw and gentle facial details were worth admiring. He looked like a fallen angel with those brown fringes falling over his forehead. I gave him a small laugh. "Not a fan of soccer, but if you're the captain, I wouldn't mind joining the cheerleaders with pom-poms."

"I think you would make the cutest of the cheerleaders. They kind of need one cute among hot." Seb quirked an eyebrow. He better not be imagining me in one of those cheerleading costumes.

My cheeks turned crisp, and I rolled my eyes to push past his flirtatious comment. "Can we not talk about cheerleading."

"What do you want to talk about?" He asked in anticipation.

There was one thing in particular that kept ringing in my head since Jake told me about Anna.

"I'm so sorry about Anna," I said quietly, knowing that it was a sensitive topic. "Jake told me about her, and since then, I couldn't stop thinking about it. The screensaver of your phone, it's her picture, right?"

"She was so pretty like an angel, and she was my whole heart. Her energy still lingers everywhere she had been once. Sometimes I feel she is still there as a part of me. She had my eyes, amber which almost resembled the sun when she smiled." There was a long silence from his side as he kept looking at his shoes. I could feel the melancholy radiating from him. "She loved soccer more when I was on the ground. Maybe, that's the reason I couldn't quit playing, even though it hurts like hell not to spot her in the audience, cheering out my name and dancing out those crazy moves. God, I miss her so much."

Seb's words crumbled my heart bit by bit. My mind instantly traveled back home to my siblings and how much of my space they consumed in my life. I could never imagine a day when I had to go on in my life not feeling their existence around. My eyes moistened as two drops of tear fell on his folded hands. He kept his head down for few minutes while my guts twisted with the thought of opening up old wounds.

"I'm sorry," I said softly. "I shouldn't have brought this topic."

"You don't have to be sorry, Amy," he said without looking at me. "Just give me a minute."

My heart was racing with anxiety as I squeezed my eyes together and cursed myself internally.

I began to stand, but he grabbed my hand before I could leave. "Stay. I don't want you to leave. Just stay by my side for some time."

My heart tightened the moment his amber eyes locked with mine. I could see his sorrow, blended with the pain of losing someone you love with all your heart.

"Okay," I mumbled, not able to deny the shoulder he needed to cry out his hurt. I sat down beside him, his hand still around my wrist. The meeting was about me seeking some answers about Jake's past, and somehow I ended up stirring his painful memories. We fell in silence once again, him trying to push through the pain and me working out a way not to keep stepping into people's sore limbs.

"Do you love him?" Seb's question almost made me jump on my seat. I knew who he was talking about, even though he didn't take the name. "The Jacob I knew is lost in time, Amy. I'm afraid that Jake is merely a shadow of him. Even more afraid that he might hurt you, and I don't want to stand at the side when it happens."

Did I love Jake? The voice in my head shouted 'Yes' without thinking for a second. But my mind went back a few minutes, and I was suddenly very unhappy with him ignoring me.

"Just because we kissed a couple of times doesn't mean I love him." I lied through gritted teeth. My mind wasn't with Seb anymore. It was back to Jake, and I was feeling nothing more than anger at that moment. "People kiss all the time."

What the hell are you saying?

"If that's the case," Seb's gentle eyes showed a hint of playfulness. He lowered his voice as he completed his sentence, "I can do this."

I felt a tug on my hand, and the next thing I knew, an unknown, unwelcomed, and unfamiliar masculine scent consumed me. Maybe my words provoked Seb or gave him the wrong impression. He pulled her gently and pressed his other hand on the back of my head. He leaned in for a kiss. Accessing his determined approach scared the living hell out of me. My eyes went wide, and my heart stopped for a second. I turned my face to the side before he could kiss my lips, and his touch pressed against my face instead.

Seb didn't seem to give up on the idea. Instead, he held my face with one hand and bent over again. I called out his name in warning. We were in the middle of the playground among other students, and one, in particular, had caught our attention. The suggestive smirk Chris gave from across the field might be the reason I looked behind Seb while his lips kissed the corner of my mouth.

"Jacob!"

Everything happened within a matter of few seconds, my eyes locked with his black orbs. Jake stared at me, his face ashen with shock and anger. Before I could even process everything, he turned away, disappearing inside the college building.

I was furious with Seb's indecent and reckless behavior. Seb tried to kiss me. I didn't want that to happen. I did not feel anything other than anguish to push him away. I jerked away from his hold, raised my hand, and slapped him on the face.

"What the hell are you trying to do?" I yelled at him. My heart was beating out of the chest as Jake's hollow eyes kept reeling in front of me. He better not think I was willing to kiss Seb. I could see the red handprint on Seb's cheeks. I might have used all of my strength to slap him. His face was contorted in pain as his face pushed to the side.

"I was trying to prove a point," he said, looking at me with saddened eyes.

"What point were you making by that!" I didn't want to be around him. My heart was aching to run after Jake and tell him the truth. What if he heard my previous comments too? I felt nauseatic all of a sudden.

"That people don't just kiss anyone. You're in love with him, Amy." He smiled bitterly and said. "I always wanted to save you from his chaos, and at the end, he pulled you right into it. I thought you were smart but still chose him no matter how broken he is. Amy, are you stupid? Don't you see, you deserve so much better?"

His words pierced straight through my heart. Seb was right about the love I had for Jake, but he was wrong about everything else. Jake did not pull me into his chaos- I sought it. He wasn't a broken person- everyone saw him as one. He was wrong about me choosing Jake- it wasn't my choice. It just happened, even without me knowing. And now that he saw me that close to someone who wasn't him made me anxious.

"Me being stupid has nothing to do with you. We are all humans. We make mistakes- we learn. Love is never about choosing the right person. It's about making things right together. And what you did is not right. I admire you a lot, please don't make me hate you. If you ever try to do something like this again, that would be the last time you see me."

After making my point clear, I turned on my heels, leaving him standing alone, looking at my back or not. I shot a warning glare at Chris, who was still staring in our direction with that shit-eating grin of his. Chris was due his share of return from me. And I was counting on his Karma for the opportunity.

~~~

My mood had soured to hell. All I wanted was to know more about Jake's life in the past and share my condolences for Seb's loss. But instead, Seb had to force out a kiss on me, and even worse Jake had to witness the whole thing. I was pissed off, agitated, and demented.

Even then, when I saw Jake hitting the punching bag with an insane amount of energy, a shiver ran down my spine. He wasn't wearing any t-shirt, and his tats were on full display. Everything dulled out at the sight of him. He looked angry but insanely hot at the same time. The messy hair. Those stormy dark eyes. My imperfectly perfect human.

The moment I walked up behind him, his hands paused, only for a second, then continued with more force. Worry washed over me as I recalled his busted knuckles. I walked right in front of him, my eyes instantly checking on his hands. I could see the blood staining through the tapes wrapped around his knuckles.

"Jacob," I started slowly, taking a few steps closer. "Your hands are bleeding."

His jaw ticked, but he did not stop punching. His eyes were blazing with rage as he kept hitting the punching bag way too harder. My heart clenched as pools of red covered his knuckles. Clumps of his black hair stuck to his face, sweat trickled down the sides of his face, covering his entire torso. I could see both physical and emotional pain on his face.

"Please stop hurting yourself," I said in a small voice. "What you saw it wasn't -"

"Shit!" He cursed as his hands stopped abruptly, and the punching bag swung back and hit him. He took a stumbling step back but stopped it before it reached back towards me. He brushed his unruly locks aggressively with his hands, gasping for breath. "Fuck."

"Jacob," I said, taking a few steps closer to him. "It's not what you think it is."

He didn't so much as look at me. I waited for some reaction from him, but he went from on fire to be icy. His face strained as he unwrapped the blood-soaked bandages from his busted knuckles. Damn. I could almost feel his physical pain crawling on my skin. In two strides, I closed the distance between us, fishing out the antiseptic and surgical bandages from my bag. I pulled him towards the benches by the wall, made him sit, and started cleaning his wounded hands. All the while, there was not even a single word or reaction from Jake. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time. He didn't flinch or showed any signs of being in pain, although I felt him tensing in my hold.

"Can you please let me explain?" I said in a small voice, wrapping up his knuckles.

There was a long pause as I finished patching up his wounds and looked up to meet his cold eyes. The distantness in them almost made me cry when he said, "You don't owe me an explanation, Amy. Just because we kissed a couple of times doesn't mean anything. Because apparently, people kiss all the time. So what if you have finally found the right person who you deserve."

"The right person I deserve?" My voice cracked. It almost came out like a whisper. I didn't know when his words hit my heart or which exact word hit my heart to the point that tears rolled down my eyes.

"Please don't cry," he said, closing his eyes briefly and taking a deep breath. His fingers touched my cheeks, brushing the salty water off my face. His touch was both comfort and heart-shattering at the same time.

"Maybe, we need time to think through the things," his voice grave and wavering. "Let's take a step back."

"Why are you saying all this?" I asked, searching his eyes.

He didn't answer my question. "If it's about what you saw back there, then you are taking it all wrong."

"It's not about that," he said quietly. His charcoal eyes locked with mine, and I could see the pain in them. They are the same emotions I had seen many a time before, only that it was stronger this time. Did I hurt him that much? But it wasn't my fault, not that he was blaming me. I would not let him push me away.

I cupped his head in my hands and pressed our foreheads together. "Please, Jacob. What I said back there and what happened, none of that is what you think it is. I was angry at you for not responding to my texts and call ."

Slowly pulling away, he placed his bandaged hands over mine with a look of tiredness. "I said, you don't have to explain anything to me. Not now. I need to be at the hospital to get Brinda discharged. I will drop you at your dorm on the way. Let me get changed."

For a moment, his hands tightened over mine as he breathed heavily. "And don't worry, Amy, I will make everything right for us."

Don't worry, Amy, I will make everything right for us.

Jake had said those words before, but somehow it sounded different this time, almost as if us was more like you. I held his hand as he stood up from the seat. "I will go with you. And you can't talk me out of it because I want to check on Brinda too."

"Okay," he said, defeated.

Grabbing his things, Jake headed towards the locker rooms, and I could feel the despair lingering in the air around me.

As soon as I was alone in the room, I felt like someone ran their car all over my heart. Tears were no more coming down my eyes. I was completely confused, disappointed, anxious, and somewhat broken too.

How did I end up in that situation, and how the hell was I going to fix everything up!