If you were a mere imagination of my mind, then why you not being around broke my heart. When all I ever wanted from you was your presence in my thoughts, then why did your smile flutter my heart, and your tears made it bleed.

After Jake left, I had no option but to regret asking him about the marks on his wrists. There could be a million possibilities. Being a storyteller, I could have settled for any of them in my head rather than indulging in reality. But somehow, it mattered, it mattered to the point that I could feel the sensation of those marks on my fingers. My approach was not correct. Instead of becoming all sherlock holmes, I could have waited for the right moment to dodge that question on him.

That night I slept with a heavy heart. Although Leah tried forcing me to have dinner, I couldn't make myself eat. I never felt that empty or isolated ever in my life. I woke up early, even without an alarm, spent half of the day in the cafe writing and the other half locked up in my room.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Leah asked me at night. The creases on her forehead reflected her concerns for me.

"Yeah, I am. Just feeling under the weather." I assured her with a 'don't ask anymore' look. Well! What was I supposed to say, that I am not because Jake asked me to stay away? The same reason she was crying a few days ago. Was that Karma? For being the world's worst roommate. 'Served you right bitch', my subconscious mocked me.

All this while I kept checking my phone time and again as if I was expecting someone's call or message. But my social media was dry, mostly because I couldn't see a certain someone dropping a post or something. I wasn't ready to attend the lectures the next day, but I had no choice but to set the alarm and drift off to dreamland.

The following morning I somehow managed to drag myself off the bed and dressed up. My face resembled autumn, and so did the weather as I walked down the hallway to my first class. To match all the gloominess around my existence, the first lecture of the day was Mathematics. I could care less if the ground cracked up into two and swallowed me in. I checked my watch while entering the hall; I was surprisingly early for the class. Praying that everything goes back to the way it was a week ago, I squeezed myself in the first row.

"Amy! You're early today," I cursed myself for expecting it to come from the vocal cord of a curly-haired guy. It was Elijah. He settled beside me in his usual energetic stance in a mustard cardigan and black jeans.

"Because I love maths," I mocked with a dry chuckle. Elijah repositioned his specs, giving me a questioning look. "What! can't a person be average in the subject they love?"

"They can, but you are below average," he laughed, throwing his hands in surrender.

"Very funny," I rolled my eyes and shifted them towards the entrance. The students swarmed into the theatre hall, filling up the empty seats, but my gaze was searching for Jake. I could feel my heart in my throat the moment his dark figure entered the room.

Jake strode to the seat behind me, passing by my side. The faint smell of his cologne lingered in the air around me. He looked fresh and charming in his tousled hair. The black hoodie he was wearing hid most of his skin and tattoos, although I could see his exposed forearms through the rolled-up sleeves. My mind once again drifted to the abrasions on his skin.

I think my gaze stayed on him a little too long as Jake coughed lightly without looking at me. That made me quickly look away. I embarrassed myself yet again, didn't I?

"Amy!" A known girly voice whispered behind me.

I turned my head back to check if I was hallucinating. But no, Leah was sitting beside Jake with that sweet smile of her. I looked at her dumbly as she waved at me enthusiastically. All I could do was give her an acknowledging nod. But the moment she scooted a bit closer to Jake's side, a fire erupted in the depths of my bones. Why was she suddenly sitting beside Jake? The question popped up in my head, but before I could open my mouth, Jake beat me to it.

"What are you even doing here? " He knitted his eyebrows, and I could see how his stance turned cold.

"There's no seat left at the back. I hope you don't mind me sitting by your side. This seat is empty anyway," Leah replied innocently. I laughed dryly, looking at the empty seats on the other side of the room.

"I won't mind if you stay on your side and keep your lips sealed," his dominating cold voice was enough to make Leah silent. Although I didn't turn back to see the disappointment on her face, I knew she must be grumpy.

I just couldn't bear to see them sit so closely together. Not after all those new feelings, I had come to feel. What did it matter? Jake would not force his presence around me any longer. And a few days ago, that's what I wanted from him. When he willing wanted to stay away, why was it making me sick? He could be with whoever he wanted, not that I cared.

The professor's arrival rescued me from all those painful thoughts and feelings. I took a deep breath and tried to focus on the lesson as much as I could.

"We'll be completing Integral Calculus by the end of this week, and next Monday, we'll have the test. I hope you all prepare well for it as this test is crucial for your grades." Professor Bartlet announced in his authoritative tone before ending the class. He was known to be one of the best in the field of numbers. He even published a book on Calculus and was said to be the best guide for the topic. I recalled all those details received from Elijah every time we attended his class. It was about time to grab that edition and start working on my basics. Although one week wasn't enough for me, I needed more time. In short, I screwed up.

"Kill me!" I groaned, slumping down on my seat. Why was everything going downhill?

I could hear Elijah laughing at my reaction. "Don't worry. I will tutor you. We'll get through this together." He assured me with his lovely smile. Wasn't he the sweetest?

"You're the sweetest," the words rolled out of my mouth, and the moment I spelled those words, I heard a loud snap behind me. Before I could turn around, Jake walked past me in the tensest state I had ever seen him. I checked his desk behind me and found a pen split into two halves. So, that was the sound. Suddenly, I remembered how he had offered me to take his help in maths. Could it be he was jealous? A smirk appeared on my face instantly.

It went on for the entire week, Jake's ignorance but subtle gestures to show how much he envied Elijah for being my sitting partner. I tried keeping up with the deal, and as the days went by, I somehow settled my thoughts a little. Maybe if we continued to stay away from each other, I could finally stop thinking about him. To my utter distress, Leah had been hanging around Jake a lot for my liking. But at the end of the day, I ended up convincing myself that I had no reason to feel against it. I mean, what were we, friends? Enemies? I just took interest because I saw a possible character in him for my stories.

To my surprise, every time my eyes fell on Jake, he was busy making notes. When did he become so serious about class? Every day he looked a little tired and out of sleep from the previous day. It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns for me either. Elijah and I had been spending most of our free hours in the library with him helping me out for the upcoming test.

It was already Friday, and my nightmares about failing the test had taken control. Even though Elijah was giving his best to tutor me, it wasn't helping. Maybe, my concentration was elsewhere or, I lacked motivation. Either way, I was doomed.

After finishing up the last lecture of the day, I made my way to the library. I had issued five different books on Calculus as compensation for missing out on Professor Bartlet's edition. But all they did was turn my mind into a ticking bomb that was ready to explode at any moment. I found Elijah, seated at our usual place, bent over his notes.

"Future mathematician, huh," I mocked, sitting across him.

He lifted his head and gave me a laugh shaking his head. "That is if I get a decent grade in our first test."

"And here I was thinking I'm the only one struggling with the numbers." We both shared a laugh before going on with our discussion. Half an hour later, I was ready to pull all the hair from my scalp. I had gone through all the notes Elijah had prepared for the test, but not even one method clicked into my dead brain.

"Hey, is that you, Amy" a female voice whispered behind me. I turned around to spot Jessie with a thick book in her hand. Her blonde hair complemented her spotless skin. With light makeup and dressed in a floral A-line dress, she looked perfect. I felt a little unprepossessing with my baggy clothes and dark circles under my eyes. "Mind if I join you guys?"

"Hey, nice to see you again, Jess." I greeted her with a smile. We indeed didn't see each other after that party two weeks ago. The parties never stopped. It was me refraining from attending them.

"So what war you guys are fighting?" she eyed all the mess around our desk.

"Calculus!" Elijah and I blurted out together.

"I wish I could help you guys, but it's not my field," Jess raised her hands in surrender and gave us a humorous laugh.

"What's up between you and Jake?" Jess asked me in a low whisper, making sure only I could hear. I gave her a quizzical look. Of course, Jess already knew something was brewing between Jake and me.

"Nothing," I gave her a short answer as an indication for dropping the topic.

"There's something, and you all are not even subtle about it. I have known Jake enough to tell that he never seeks out a girl's number himself or takes a girl to watch the sunset or stay up late at night to-" she trailed off as her eyes scanned a certain someone behind me. "Speak of the devil ."

I knitted my eyebrows in confusion and whipped my head towards the door to lock eyes with Jake. For a second, everything went silent for me except the loud thumping of my heart. I pinched myself mentally to snap me out of the trance. I quickly looked away, wishing that he kept ignoring me. Because if he came back, I wouldn't be able to save myself. His footsteps echoed in the silence of the library as he proceeded in our direction. Not even a moment later, I could feel his burning presence beside me.

"Jake, what are you doing here? Isn't your normal place is at the back of the library? But hey! I don't see any girl around you. Perhaps, someone is already waiting there for you. Or you didn't score any girl for this weekend." Jess raised her brow, grinning at him.

"Didn't expect to see you in the college today. Given you had an eventful night with Xavier yesterday." Jake teased her with a sneer.

Jess shifted in her seat awkwardly, giving an embarrassed smile towards Elijah and me. My head snapped in his direction with disbelief written all over my face. The guy had no filter in his mouth. Our eyes met once again, and I could see something so deep in them that I had to look away. Why did his eyes reflect tiredness and longing?

"The walls are thin," he mouthed before disappearing behind the racks of books.

"Asshole!" Jess whisper yelled.

I wanted Jess to complete what she was telling earlier about Jake being all special with me. As she collected her things and stepped out of her seat, I couldn't stop myself from asking, "What you were saying earlier-"

"Oh! Just forget what I said. Jake is a jackass. He certainly doesn't deserve a sweetheart like you. And you love, deserve the best. If I were you, I would have chosen Seb over anyone, no matter how hot they might be." She gave me a wink and walked out of the library.

Her words kept dancing in my head, turning me mute for few minutes. There were so many things happening to me as I was still trying to fit into my college life. Jess thought I was a sweetheart. Was I? I didn't have the answer. Before I met Jake, I was just a daydreamer, searching for a new story in everyone. But once I met him, I couldn't stop fitting myself into his. A faint voice kept ringing near my ear.

"Are you even listening to me?" Elijah jerked my shoulder gently, bringing me back to the present.

"Sorry, you were saying something?" I looked at him blankly.

"I think we should wrap up for today. You can keep my notes, in case they are any help." He suggested with a smile.

"Yeah! You go ahead. I will grab another book." I informed him.

"Check for Newton's edition. That might help with the basics." He said, preparing to leave. I gave him a nod before he left and continued going through his notes.

Few more minutes passed. I had merely gone through one problem when I realized it was almost closing time for the book issue. I cursed myself and headed towards the racks. The mathematics section was somewhere in the middle, but I couldn't stop thinking about Jake as my gaze shifted to the far end of the library. Could Jake still be there? Of course, I didn't see him leaving.

Deep in my thoughts, I reached the section only to hide behind the opposite rack. Jake was sitting on the floor, and by god's grace, he was not with any girl. He was there alone. I was so quick to hide that I couldn't see what he was doing. My heart was beating in my ears while my palms turned cold. How could a person have so much effect on you? I should have turned away, but I couldn't. And it wasn't the book I wanted to check. I wanted to see Jake.

Calming my breath a little, I removed one of the books from the rack to peep in. By that angle, I could only see his legs. So I moved on to the one which faced him. He wasn't there anymore. Maybe he left. I sighed a little disheartened and decided to at least get the book.

After scanning the spines for minutes, I finally spotted the big fat book. A black cloud surrounded my mood, looking at its width. But as I reached out for the book, I felt a warm palm wrap around the back of my cold hand. I jumped a little due to the sudden touch but soon realized it was far too familiar. I sensed Jake behind me, and I couldn't breathe. Didn't he say to stay away? Then why was he standing so close to me that I could feel his heartbeat on my back?

"Are you looking for something or perhaps someone?" Jake murmured near my ear teasingly. He knew exactly how to make me tremble. My breath stuck in my throat. For some unknown reason, I wanted to turn around and wrap my hands around his neck. I missed his presence. I missed his warmth so much that I wanted to bury my face on his chest and hear his heartbeat. But I didn't do any of those. I couldn't do any of those except standing there holding in my emotions.

"Did Elijah teach you well?" His voice was husky, and I could feel the fire through his hold on my hand. "Didn't I tell you to learn from the best? Guess you consider him over me."

"You- You only wanted us to stay away from each other. Then what are you doing now." I somehow managed to speak, gritting my teeth. I wanted to push him away and run out of there.

Suddenly, his body relaxed a little, and his hold on my hand became gentle. He nuzzled his nose on my hair, inhaling deeply. My eyes closed, and I leaned back on him due to the soft feeling. No one had ever held me like that before.

"You drive me crazy, Amy." He mumbled softly. So lost in his warmth, I didn't realize when he passed on a diary in my hand. "It has all the notes you need to pass the test. If you want, you can throw it away, or you can give it a try. Who knows, maybe you will resonate well with my methods."

His words and actions caught me off guard. I stood stunned for a moment, trying to grasp in. He had prepared the notes for me. That somehow made my heart flutter and made butterflies go crazy in my stomach. I tightened my hold on the black diary with the year printed on its cover.

But even before I could respond, he let go of my hand, and his warmth slipped away from my body. I closed my eyes, trying to muster enough strength to face him. I guess it was too late. Because when I turned around, he wasn't there anymore. I looked down at the notes he gave me, and I suddenly felt like I might pass the test. A smile appeared on my lips subconsciously.

Jake was just the motivation I needed.