Brinda's last wish was to be in the same cemetery as her son. It didn't rain during the funeral, but the heavy clouds in the California skies were enough to add the gloominess. Coincidence, I suppose, but it somehow emphasized the cloudy shades on the faces that had gathered at the cemetery, especially the person standing by my side.

Jake was purposefully silent. His soul seemed to shut off, hiding somewhere even I couldn't reach. His eyes never once left the grave throughout the ceremony. There weren't many people attending the funeral except the members of the Retirement house. As my eyes swept through the perimeter, I saw Sebastian standing beside Jake's father, who surprised us with his visit.

I could read the discomforted and calculative look on his father every time some guest shook hands with Jake and shared their condolences. I was on my guard too. He was doing fine, at least in concealing the real emotions.

The emotions ran wild after Brinda's death. The sudden memory had me reaching out to hold Jake's bicep tightly as if to pull him towards me. He sure was reeling away from me, from himself, and everything. He was going away, and I didn't want him to, not when I had just found him, not when he wasn't a thing anymore. He had become everything.

"She's in peace now, Jacob," I said, leaning my head on his shoulder. They were stoic, tension pulsing through his body.

"I wish she is, but I know she isn't," he clipped, still looking at the grave or graves. Mother and son, resting in peace together. I gulped down the choked sob, and my gaze locked with Seb, who flashed me a reassuring smile. We both knew that Jake was holding on through a fragile thread, ready to snap any moment. It sure wouldn't be some crazy escapade to girls, parties, and fights like before. It would be much worse this time.

"She forgives you," I had to look into his charcoal irises which looked so cold and disconnected. They were supposed to have that fire, the fire which warms my soul. "You've to do the same. You have to forgive yourself."

I stressed out each word so that he would know the seriousness in them. He shouldn't go on like that. It wasn't fair. Life gets ugly sometimes, but it doesn't remain like that forever. If there's anyone who can save you from the darkness that surrounds your happy moments, it's you. It will always be you.

"I can't," he rested his forehead against mine. The guests had already left the premises. It was just us alongside two other men who stood at a hand's distance. Nicolas gave a stuttering look as if he wished to be the one to comfort his son. I could see a shift of emotion in his eyes as they metered Jake's state for a second, then he gave me a nod and patted Seb's shoulder. Both the men left the cemetery after the last of the guests.

"You know I can't." He breathed. His warm breath fanned over my sensitive skin. When I willed myself enough to look at his face again, I saw his glassy eyes and felt the hurt radiating through every inch of his body. "When you lose someone, someone you're trying to hold on to but you can't, you can't just stop them from leaving. You exist. You survive with a missing part of your soul. Because you know, you are the reason they don't exist. Every day you smile, laugh, and live- that hole in your heart only gets bigger. And you walk around with emptiness for the rest of your life, knowing you have borrowed those moments, you have stolen those moments."

I blinked my glossy eyelashes and finally placed my shaking hand on his cheek. "Life doesn't work on a reset button, Jacob. Although the memories of your mistakes will always haunt you, you can fill that hole in your heart with forgiveness. You once said I'm your savior, your muse, but I'm not. Only you can save yourself. Save yourself for me. You have to fight for your happiness. You've to find your happiness so that we can be happy together."

His cheeks were warm and smooth under my palm as I brushed his skin lightly. I couldn't let him give up. He shut his eyes, tears moistening his long dark eyelashes, and I traced a drop with my thumb.

"I know." He said, looking deep into my eyes.

I thought everything would be fine from thereon, at least until I could convince Jake not to hold himself responsible for everything.

We attended a small gathering organized at the Retirement house after the funeral. I wasn't surprised when I saw Brinda's painting in the middle of the hall.

"You painted her so real and perfect," I said, looking up at Jake. The moment we arrived there, he had stayed at the secluded corner. His eyes never once strayed from the painting as everyone mourned. I tightened my hand holding on to his tensed bicep.

Even after my confrontation with him about the accident, he held himself responsible for it. There remained a part of him in those memories.

"That's the only thing I could do for her," he sighed, leaning his head back against the wall. "I wonder how happy she would have been if her son was there or if she didn't have to bear the pain of her son's death."

My heart ached with the sparks of anguish that flickered in his eyes. I placed my palm on his cheek and made him look down at me instead of the painting. "You can't keep dwelling in what-ifs, Jacob. She is gone and never coming back, but you can't keep dying each day bearing the regret."

He placed his hand over mine and leaned into my touch.

It happened so fast that we didn't have much time to gather ourselves. One moment, Brinda's painting occupied the entire room, and another moment it was destroyed.

"You did this to her, and you dare to mock her death. Do you think creating a painting out of my sister will wash away your sins, you murderer!" A shrill voice broke through the crowd, followed by the loud crashing sound. The painting was lying on the floor covered in black paint. The woman resembled Brinda, the same age as her or a little younger but had the same brown eyes and height.

Oh, God, she called Jake a murderer.

All eyes were on Jake, including mine. While others had resentment, surprise, and questions, mine had panicked. He still struggled to come to terms with all the remorse, but the spiteful words and eyes of the woman in front of us were sure to leave him in shambles again.

I could feel the loud thudding of his heartbeats and the coldness through my hold on him. His charcoal eyes shifted from the blackened painting to the woman who looked at him with so much hatred.

"Yeah, that's right. You can no more hide under those fancy suits or daddy's money and deceive these people with that handsome face of yours. Because I know you were the one who killed my nephew and then pretended to be my sister's savior." She said, throwing the empty bucket in her hand to the ground and crossing her arms.

"Jake-" I started, but before I could complete, he was out of my hold. I could see the tension at his back as he walked in the middle of the room, his fists clenched on his sides.

"Yes, it was me, and I know it's too late for forgiveness," his eyes traveled around the crowd and then settled at the woman. "But there isn't a day that I don't regret it. Hell, this painting was my first piece of art after the wreck, and you must know that art is my passion, my happiness. Do you think I painted her to mock her death? No, that painting was a tribute to her, my apology."

My heart crumbled at his words. Even more when he turned towards me with those glassy eyes and said, "But maybe, I'm not worthy of forgiveness, after all."

And then he was storming out, taking in the hostility from everyone who once admired him. My eyes rounded the room once before I ran after him. My heart pounded in my chest as I caught up to him. His back stared at me with agony.

"Jacob," I rushed towards him, but as soon as my hands touched his shoulder, he flinched away.

"No, don't!" His voice was sharp and painful when he faced me. His red eyes stared at me with so much liquid anguish in them that I had to take a step back, clasping my hands to my chest. "You don't know how it feels. I lost my best friend too. I lost my Anna too."

He took another step back, standing right in the middle of the road, and few vehicles passed by just a second before him. My chest tightened as I scanned the traffic. "I know, baby, and I can see it in your eyes how much it hurts you. Please, come back here. Let me hold you, Jacob."

"She's right," he looked straight into my eyes, his timbre a little shaky. "It's my fault that everyone has lost someone they loved. If I had stopped Anna from driving that night, she would still be alive. Ethan would still be alive, and Brinda didn't have to suffer during her final days."

I shook my head rapidly, taking a step towards him, but he pointed his index finger to stop me. "It's not your fault, Jacob. There's no one to blame for it. It was an accident, and that's all it was."

"I'm so sorry," he looked down, squeezing his eyes shut. "It wasn't supposed to end like that, but it did, and I'm so sorry for all the pain that followed."

A car approached, in full speed from the other side, and Jake snapped his head in its direction. Then his gaze zeroed in on something. I looked frantically from the speeding car, which was about to pass through space between us. He froze, mouth parting in a daze before he lurched forward, coming right in front of the car.

My heart thrashed against my chest, and my hands covered my eyes as a loud screeching noise of the tires filled the silence of the night. Everything inside me set ablaze, and my limbs trembled violently. I didn't want to open my eyes and witness whatever happened. My vision blurred as darkness consumed me, and my legs gave up.

"Jacob," a choked whimper was all I could make before my knees touched the ground, and my head followed suit.

But the impact was warmer than expected. My head made contact with the familiar hard chest, the one I thought I would never get to feel again, and a set of arms held me tightly against a secure body.

"Amy," his trembling voice stirred my sense back towards his handsome face and his captivating black eyes.

"Jacob!" My lips trembled as I gathered his demeanor. "I thou- I thought I lost you." Fat tears pelted down my eyes as he cupped my face and placed a deep kiss on my wobbly lips.

"Shh," he whispered. "You'll never lose me, love, never. I will be your always ever and your forever if you allow me."

I gnashed my teeth at him and pushed away from his embrace. "If you ever do that again. I swear to God, I will kill you myself."

He looked skywards once and let out a sharp breath before giving me his infamous scowl. I was still a little shocked, but I couldn't help admiring his scowly smile. He reached out to brush my hair, and I spat his hand away. "Don't toy with me. I'm very serious."

That's when my eyes fell on a furball tucked in his other arm. It whined and squirmed in his embrace. When I recollected my hazy self, I could see that Jake was beaming at a small puppy in his hand. His grin widened as he cradled the brown pup against his chest and looked up at me with a pouty face. "You scared our little friend here."

I frowned. "Did you jump in front of the car to save the puppy?"

"I think we should take him to a vet. He was limping when I spotted him." He continued petting and scratching a grumbling fur ball's ears. When I didn't respond, he straightened up and brushed my cheek lightly. "I'm so sorry, Amy. I shouldn't have scared you like that."

"Come here, you, Noodlehead," I said through my glassy eyes, pulling him in my arms. The puppy whined between us as I held him too against my chest.

Only my Jerk would do something that crazy, and I would be damned if it didn't flutter my heart in all the right ways.

"You think we could keep him for a while," he patted the puppy and placed a peck on his forehead. "Until we find his family."

I nodded, biting my lip, and reached up to hook my arms around his neck. "I think he would love that."

Maybe the loss will always be there, and there will be days of regrets. But until you have something that fills your heart with happiness, I know you will be fine.