Hi everyone I just wanted to say thank you for all the positive support I've received so far since I've returned to this site! I had been going through a lot for a long time and I've only just recently been feeling better. I really am sorry for having been gone for so long and I promise to work my hardest to finish the story rather than just leave it on hold forever.

Also I know I should have left messages letting you guys know that I was okay, but in all honesty I just didn't even have the energy to log in. I know it's just another excuse but I really don't want anyone to think I purposefully chose to not write, since there were many times when I would write something then delete it when I felt it wasn't good enough.

Once again I am truly sorry for my incredibly long absence.

Much love,

xx

+++++

Chapter Eight

"So come on just tell me how bad it hurts,

I can make it worse."

"Dirty World"- Emile Haynie

"Evie, I really don't think this is a good idea," Nate whispered as he blindly stumbled behind me, unused to the lack of light that filled the inside of our house. A giggle escaped my lips when I heard Nate bump into the wall, cursing under his breath as he gripped his elbow.

"Don't be such a wuss," I whispered back as mischief danced in my eyes. A grin crossed my expression when we entered the kitchen where a soft glow of light dimly lit the room.

"Danny isn't going to be happy about this," he muttered, shaking his head miserably as though he'd already been caught. I couldn't help but grin at his nervous expression, the way he glanced around the room as though Danny was going to emerge from the shadows and damn us to hell on the spot.

I turned away from Nate and moved towards the glass cabinet where my eyes zeroed down on the gloriously large bottle of Jack that sat the top of the shelf. My grin transformed into a smirk as I quietly lifted my body onto the counter, while Nate continued to whisper about how this was going to be the death of him—getting caught by Danny while he snuck into the liquor cabinet.

I rolled my eyes at his anxiety, unable to respond as I focused on picking the lock to the cabinet. It wasn't like I had never drank before, but since the deaths of our parents Danny had locked down on me, which included locking away the alcohol in our home. Which was fine, I suppose, for the first two years at least. But lately I had been relying more and more on the substance as Danny began relying more on me for jobs.

A victorious smirk spread across my lips when I managed to open the cabinet in seconds, earning a surprised gasp from Nate, who had now managed to calm himself down a bit. I swiftly grabbed the bottle and hurriedly climbed down from the shelf, eager to get that first sip of whiskey down so that I could finally release all the tension that had been building up over the week.

The gang was in a state of emergency, and Danny was now taking his anger out on me by constantly yelling at me, especially during jobs, which caused a build up of stress within me.

Hopping down from the counter, I gave Nate a raised look while he sheepishly smiled, his cheeks reddening. "I'm sorry I doubted you."

I shrugged it off, giving him another grin as I pried off the top, my stomach tingling with nerves as the strong smell filled my nose. I was young, only fifteen and still rather naïve as some people would say. Nate was only three years older; however that was more than enough to make my ever so protective older brother bothered by our friendship, as Nate had always been Danny's right hand man along with Will.

So on that note, I guess I could see why Danny wouldn't approve of him breaking into liquor cabinets with his younger sister, hence why Nate had been in such a state only moments before, and still happened to be one now.

"Come on," my voice was soft, "have some." I offered out the bottle after having downed some of my own, my eyes remaining on Nate's as his hand shakily reached out to it, his eyes wide from the nerves. I relaxed my back against the counter as he drank, rolling my eyes for possibly the hundredth time when I saw the small, hesitant sips he took.

"Well if you're not going to bloody drink it—" I snapped, grabbing the bottle from his hand and pressing it to my lips. After a significant amount had slipped down my throat, Nate managed to take the bottle away; cursing when he realized how much I had drank.

"Fuck, this is bad," he muttered, "Shit, fuck, damn it Evie, what the hell is wrong with you?"

I stared at him silently before I swayed on my feet, the affects of the alcohol quickly taking over. The burning in my throat had passed and now there was a fire in my stomach, warming me from head to toe. A small giggle burst from my lips and a sloppy grin spread across my face as I swayed again, stumbling slightly.

"Don't be angry with me," I told Nate, not bothering to whisper. "I'm having fun."

Now it was Nate's turn to roll his eyes. "Ev, you need to be quiet we can't get caught right now."

I nodded my head rapidly, another giggle escaping as I did so. I felt his arm wrap around my back as he led us out onto the back porch, far from where anyone could hear us. He sat me down on one of the plush chairs, keeping a close eye on my as I tottered backwards, dropping my back against the chair.

"You're freaking out," I slurred out. "Let loose, Nate! Have fun!" I flapped my hands against the cushions around me for good measure, causing Nate to flinch at my actions, his eyes darting back into the house.

"Danny is going to kill me," Nate whimpered out, shaking his head as I giggled again, grinning widely. My eyes narrowed at the bottle that sat half empty by him, a mischievous idea forming in my head. With a smirk on my lips, I raised my eyes to his and slowly slid off the chair, standing up shakily.

"Hey, hey, be careful," Nate said, also moving to stand as I made my way over to him. I hushed him softly, watching as a look of surprise crossed his expression. I could see his cheeks growing more colored by the passing second.

"Sh," I whispered under my breath, gently picking up the bottle as I neared him, using my free hand to softly push him back into the chair. His adams apple bobbed as he swallowed nervously, his eyes flickering from me to the door and back to me.

"What are you doing?" He choked out as I lifted my leg, slowly climbing over him so that I was straddling him, making him flush and sweat, shock showing brightly in his eyes.

I removed my hand from his chest, moving it to the back of his head. Without warning I gently tilted his head back and brought the bottle to his lips, tipping it slightly so that the dark liquid slowly drained into his mouth. After a few gulps I took away the bottle and smiled down at him.

"How does that feel?" I whispered, my voice coming off as low and husky. I lowered my hips down on his own, swaying as I momentarily lost balance. My smirk deepened when his hands came up to grip my hips tightly, keeping me from falling over.

"Good," Nate finally choked out, his eyes now dark. I could tell that the alcohol was finally taking effect from the way he now focused only on me, rather than glance around nervously and talk about how Danny was going to kill him if we were caught.

"Good." I whispered back, a seductive smirk playing on my lips. My head was spinning at this point and I felt fuzzy and incoherent, unable to properly focus on my actions. My eyes trailed over Nate, mentally noting all of his features and concluding that he was rather attractive when he wasn't panicking over my brother.

It annoyed me that he was so scared of my brother, acting like his little bitch all of the time. I couldn't understand why he had been so nervous to sneak downstairs with me, let loose, and get drunk. I couldn't see why he was freaking out so much. I couldn't see why he thought Danny would freak out over something so small and unimportant.

But when Danny was woken up by the sound of laughter, giggles, and hushed whispers, when Danny walked down the stairs with a gun in his hand and made his way to the back porch, when Danny found his younger sister on top of one of his closest friends, her tongue down his throat—that's when Evie could finally see.

"I'm going to fucking kill the both of you."

+++++

"I know what you did."

Evie had waited until Sebastian had fallen asleep before she stood up and quietly climbed out of bed. She had made sure not to wake him as she peeled his arms off of her, gently sliding away so that she could exit the room without being noticed.

She quietly made her way down the hall and down the stairs, silently praying that her footsteps wouldn't wake anyone. It wasn't until she had made it downstairs and out onto the back porch that she finally let out the breath of air she had been holding in. The cool air chilled her, causing her to shiver. The memory of the first time she had ever spent time alone with Nate resulted in mixed feelings, hence the reason she was still awake and completely unable to fall asleep.

Evie began to pace, something she always did whenever she started feeling trapped. Every step she took helped relieve the tension in her chest that was making it nearly impossible for her to breathe. The anxiety had come down on her like an avalanche, making her choke and splutter.

She had thought she was okay. She had busied herself by making a god forsaken elaborate plan to root out the rat in the gang, but then couldn't deal with the result. But she had been so caught up with everything, so focused on making sure that she would be able to convince everyone and not fail, as her father would say.

She was too focused on this; so when it finally came the time when she wasn't busy and more importantly, when she was alone, she couldn't distract herself from her own thoughts.

She knew that Danny was mad about losing his gang, but he had cared more about Evie so he got over his anger. She knew Will had been upset as well, but he'd always been close to Danny and knew what had to be done. Nate, on the other hand, Evie hadn't thought would be as upset.

He'd always been the happy-go-lucky kind of guy. The one who would crack jokes despite of his insanely overwhelming anxiety over getting caught doing something wrong. Evie could only guess that that was what attracted her to him—his jokes.

She couldn't understand how someone who had once almost lost his mind over getting caught drunk had somehow decided to turn against his gang, against his friends, his family, and join forces with the enemy.

(There is a shift into first person right here. So sorry about that, my mistake!)

But maybe it was a mistake. Maybe I was wrong. I've been wrong before. I've acted out, taken a leap of faith if you must, and I've been wrong, despite all the precautions my father demanded that I took. So maybe, maybe this was just another mistake to add to the list.

You're in denial, a voice hissed in my head. I shrank back, recognizing the voice as my own, twisted in anger and betrayal.

There were signs, yes, but not enough. My mind was racing as I mulled over this idea that Nate could possibly be the rat; the idea that a guy I've known since I was a kid would actually do something like this. Suddenly I realized how Sebastian must have felt, when I had left; however, I had a reason for my actions whereas Nate, as far as I knew, had none.

London's Eyes was all he had when he joined, and granted, the gang falling apart under the Kings was not exactly the greatest thing to ever happen, but it's not like he had been abandoned. He had a gang, including people who have always been there for him.

Did he not realize that Nick was trying to kill me? That question caused rage to spark within me, making me clench my teeth angrily as I thought of all the things that had happened not only to me, but the people around me.

My pacing sped up as anger and hurt gave me a rush of energy. I thought of the way he avoided every conversation, merely just hiding in the shadows like a sponge. Not that sponges hide in shadows, rather he was silently absorbing all the information that spilled out around him, only to let it be squeezed out of him by the devil himself, Nick Harmon.

Will doesn't talk as much either!

There it was. The hopeful side of me, which I wished would stay silent, had broken through and was now sparking an internal battle within me.

It's Nate, the darker, more cynical side of me snapped back confidently.

Will had never been much of a talker. Instead, he would do all the difficult research and tracking for the gang, keeping Danny constantly informed. He hadn't changed at all. Nate, however, was far les happy lately. He would make small jokes, but remained quiet for the most part.

And then he was on his phone. He was on his phone all of the damn time, lurking in corners and staring at his phone while his face and neck flushed brightly with guilt and anxiety, just as it always had.

This isn't enough to go on! The voice was small yet it seemed determined to be heard.

But then I had tried to kill myself, in a house with only a small group of people, and somehow all of London knew. And then a man, a stupid, thoughtless man, decided that he would challenge Sebastian with this information, hoping to cause an uproar, a mutiny, in other words.

I couldn't accept that it was just a coincidence that the man, while coming off as arrogant, kept constantly glancing past my shoulder, as though he was a puppy looking to his owner for instructions and approval.

I couldn't accept that what he kept looking at past my shoulder wasn't a thing, but a person instead— a person who happened to be Nate.

It was a leap of faith. It was a risk and I went for it maybe because I was desperate or possibly I was and still am just delusional.

Delusionally desperate.

Perhaps I must be a little mad for acting so impulsively, but I couldn't just sit there and do nothing as everything around me, including myself, started to crumble.

+++++

"Where the hell is she?"

His yell was loud, painfully loud. I heard a stampede of footsteps echo across the house, searching in every nook and cranny until the back porch door flew open.

"She's right here!" Callum yelled out, almost hesitantly as he took in my appearance. I'd curled up on the chair, absolutely restless and unable to sleep, my eyes burning and my body aching. But I couldn't sleep because I had been busy pacing, hoping to rid myself of the realization I had made.

I watched through heavy lidded eyes as Danny rushed into the room, a look of relief mixed with anger and annoyance crossing his expression when he saw me.

"I have been yelling for you this whole time!" He snapped, glaring at me angrily.

"I could hear that." My voice was heavy and low, causing Danny's glare to intensify. I watched as everyone else filed in behind him, everyone else except for one person. I frowned when I noticed that Sebastian had yet to come in, glancing at Kate momentarily. Her expression was one of worry but as soon as she caught my eyes she offered up a small smile.

This was a flaw to my plan—the fact that everyone was now overly worried and anxious over me, and now resorted to walking around me on eggshells, too scared to do anything.

I hated this so much.

"You can't just go missing like that," Danny hissed out, his eyes narrowing angrily at me. My eyes flickered behind him and my eyes locked with Nate's. Almost instantly did his eyes shift downwards, and a red flush rose up on his neck.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said quietly.

"You have to sell it now."

I looked down at the ground hard, making my eyes water before I took a shaky breath and looked up quickly, causing a few spare tears to drop down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry," I repeated. My voice was shaky and was cracking painfully. "I just, I just haven't felt like myself and I couldn't sleep and I've been so restless—I, I just had to breathe and so I came out here."

More tears dripped down my cheeks and my stomach was nervously twisting inside of me.

"I'm sorry." It came out as softly as a whisper, making everyone strain to hear me.

Looks of worry, sadness, and pity—looks that I absolutely despised—formed on all of their faces. I tried to ignore the annoyance that was growing in me, frowning as guilt twisted into my gut.

They are hurt and worried because of you, because they care about you.

This time, when I looked up at them with regret and sorrow written across my face, there was no effort needed to sell it, as it was all real. I genuinely disliked doing this to them, tricking them into thinking that I thought so little of my life; however I knew it was necessary, so for that reason I was going to continue.

"How about you get a cup of tea then try to get some sleep?" Danny finally broke the silence, his eyes now showing fatigue and weariness.

I nodded my head and wiped at the tears that were slowly trailing down my cheeks. Stepping past everyone and following Danny, I made my way into the kitchen where I came to a halt, my lips parting in surprise when I saw Sebastian leaning against the counter, a cup of coffee in his hands. He barely glanced up when Danny and I walked in, yet I noticed his expression grow darker as we did.

"Were you not even going to check to see if she was okay?"

My eyes now widened when Danny spoke out, his hands forming fists as he neared Sebastian, who still seemed more interested in his coffee than the people in front of him.

"I didn't see the point," Sebastian said, tracing his eyes over me. They narrowed when they took in the tearstains and the pathetic frown that I had forced on my lips. I could feel my stomach twist in discomfort at the knowledge that Sebastian knew it had all been a set up. He knew what I was doing; yet he had no idea why.

Part of me wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him because doing this on my own was draining me, not to mention the fact that I was hurting the people I cared most about. But then there was another part of me that adamantly refused to let me say anything to him. It had emerged when Sebastian shot that man dead in front of me only a few feet away. Now every time I though about telling Sebastian, all I could think about was that dead man, but with Nate's face. And so I kept my mouth shut because despite it all, I was really hoping that Nate would have some explanation or maybe this had all been a coincidence.

I was hopeful.

"Hope will be the death of you one day."

"Evie, are you listening to me?"

My eyes snapped up as I tore myself away from my thoughts and pushed my father's voice out of my head. Danny was now looking at me expectantly while Sebastian watched me closely, his dark eyes scanning over me, as though they were searching for some kind of answer hidden on my body.

"I," I paused, glancing around, "Sorry, no."

Danny sighed heavily before pushing a cup of tea my way, "Here."

I gratefully took the cup and sipped it, wincing when the hot liquid burned my tongue.

"I think I'm going to try to get some sleep," I told Danny softly, purposefully avoiding Sebastian's gaze while Danny nodded in understanding. I turned and bit my lip as I passed Sebastian and headed towards the stairs, my breath catching in my throat when his hand shot out and latched onto my arm, firmly pulling me to a stop.

"Actually you're going to have to wait to do that until later," Sebastian hissed out, his hand still firmly wrapped around my arm.

"She hasn't slept," Danny snapped, annoyance evident in his tone.

"Too bad," Sebastian responded curtly, his attention moving to the porch where everyone had remained awkwardly, unsure of how to react. "Because today we are going to the gym and we are going to train for however many hours until I decide we should stop."

There weren't any groans of protest, but I could see the confusion on everyone's expression when they took in his tone and attitude.

"She hasn't slept," Danny repeated, his eyes narrowing like they did whenever he was about to yell.

Sebastian merely dropped my arm and walked up to Danny, his height giving him an advantage as Danny came up a few inches short.

"We leave in fifteen minutes."

+++++

The tension between Danny and Sebastian was almost unbearable as we made our way to the gym. It had been silent in the car for the duration of the ride, which did nothing to help the growing anxiety that was pouring into my stomach.

Danny had been much more protective over me lately, which I had expected to happen, just only not at this intensity. It seemed as though at any moment he was going to lunge from the backseat and attempt to strangle Sebastian, who in turn acted as though nothing was wrong.

As soon as we arrived to the gym, everyone seemed to dart to their own stations, and I couldn't help but smile slightly when I noticed Kate walk awkwardly to the weights section, struggling to pick up a medicine ball that weighed merely eight pounds.

"Get in the ring," Sebastian ordered before I could move away from him, his hand pushing roughly against my back. I stumbled slightly before I stepped into the ring, feeling uncomfortable as the glaring lights illuminated my pale skin. I watched as Callum moved to step in with me, but Sebastian waved him off, stepping inside instead.

My mouth went dry at his actions due to the sickening realization that I would have train with Sebastian.

"Show me what your father taught you."

The mockery paired with his sardonic tone made goose bumps rise to my skin, contrasting deeply to the fiery rage that bubbled inside of me, making a low growl escape through my lips.

He's going to ruin my plan if he keeps this up.

"Then beat him at his own game."

He was blatantly trying to rile me up, to make me retaliate against his words and let my guard slip. But if there was anything I remembered most about training with Sebastian, it was that he would work his hardest to use your weaknesses to his advantage, and thus make every move you made completely and utterly predictable.

He wanted me to fight him, because he knew that was exactly what Evie Summers would do. She wouldn't stand by silently as someone mocked her, but instead she would act impulsively and attack him.

But I couldn't be that Evie Summers right now. I couldn't be her because if I were to act as she would, then that would mean she was okay.

And if she was okay, then Nick wouldn't feel threatened, and I desperately needed him to feel threatened. I needed him to think he was running out of time and that he needed to act soon, if not immediately. With Nate's eyes trained on my back, I let out a sigh and put my hands up in surrender.

"I don't want to fight," I finally said, forcing my chin to quiver as I stared hard at the mat, struggling to bring tears to my eyes. It seemed as though all my tears had been used up for the day, which caused a hot flash of panic to rise up within me, making me glance around nervously.

"But I think you do," Sebastian drawled out, stepping closer.

I watched as he neared me, making me take a sharp breath in as I desperately attempted to form some sort of plan of action. I knew the fake tears and the soft, pathetic whimpers had no effect on him, and with his growing suspicion and knowledge of my actions, I knew that I was going to have to use a different approach in order to prevent him from exposing me.

"Please stop," I hissed out lowly, well aware that people were now watching us closely.

Sebastian's eyes only narrowed even further, if that was even possible. I watched as the muscle in his jaw jumped and he let out an almost animalistic growl.

"Why, Evie? Scared everyone will realize what you've done?"

My mind was racing as I urgently tried to come up with some sort of solution in an effort to take everyone's attention off of Sebastian and me.

"What is he talking about?" Someone hissed out, his voice painfully audible due to the silence that echoed throughout the gym.

"I'm not doing this." I finally said after a few moments of silence. I'd finally figured out what I was going to do, and for it to work out I was going to have to rely on Sebastian's temper.

"Don't you dare walk away," he almost snarled out. I held in the smirk that fought to spread across my lips as I heard the tone of his voice.

"Come on, Evie, you can do this." His voice was encouraging; a tone I had rarely heard from him while he was alive.

Turning on my heel just at the edge of the ring, I looked Sebastian directly in his eyes while everyone else watched on under a think coat of tension.

"You don't control me."

I knew those words would be all he needed to push him past his limit. His legs moved swiftly and I watched as his arms stretched out as he lunged for me, a murderous look on his face. I moved quickly, just barely avoiding him before he changed his direction. I knew his intent wasn't to hurt me, however the frustration that shone in his eyes told me that he was hardly in control of himself.

We both moved rapidly, working with the utmost determination to predict each other's next move and counter it. I felt the adrenaline kick in when I narrowly dodged a punch sent towards my stomach, the side of his fist only grazing my hip. I refrained from wincing when his other fist managed to connect with my abdomen, ad instead I only retaliated by sending my own fist into his collar bone, making him lean to the left slightly.

I was breathing heavily now, the exhaustion and exercise finally taking their toll on me as I forced myself to block another punch, using my arm as a shield. A gasp escaped my lips when he sent a kick into my side, effectively knocking the wind out of me.

I managed to catch him off guard when I caught his fist and shoved him backwards with his own arm, causing him to stumble back a few steps. I focused on regaining my breath while he began to circle me, making me twist in small circles so that he wouldn't be able to attack me from behind.

"You're already struggling to breathe," he observed, a smirk forming on his lips.

"You kicked me in the stomach," I shot back, gritted my teeth as a sharp pain rippled through my body.

"You should have blocked it."

My feet moved on their own accord, and I lunged out at him. I felt my fist connect with the side of his face, and I instantly twisted my body so that I could kick the back of his knee, forcing him to collapse down. He quickly stood up before even a minute could pass, a look of anger written in his expression.

I let out a hiss when he managed to tackle me down onto the mat, his body hovering over mine while he glared down at my face, anger and confusion written in his eyes.

"Why are you doing this?" He whispered out, struggling to keep his voice quiet due to the crowd that had gathered around us.

He's asking about it.

"You have to act now."

I felt my chest rise and fall rapidly while I worked to catch my breath. With one large gulp of air, I relaxed underneath him, causing him to drop his guard slightly. The second he did, I used all my strength to push him off of me and roll out from under, standing up as quickly as I could.

"Don't you get it?" I exclaimed shrilly as I stood, ignoring the way my action caused my head to spin and black spots invade my vision. My eyes darted around the room to make sure everyone else was watching. "I don't want to do this! I don't want to fight you, I don't want to be here, I just don't want to fucking do this anymore."

Danny was now moving closer, as were Mason and Callum, alarm on all of their faces.

I took a shaky breath inwards before I finally said the words that had been holed up in my chest, fighting to break out so that I could finish with whatever act I had planned.

"I tried to kill myself, what don't you understand?"

I stepped out of the ring before anyone could stop me and started walking over to the door as quickly as I could. Without warning, a hand clasped down onto my arm, making me gasp out in surprise.

"Evie, stop."

With a violent twist of my arm I yanked my arm out of Nate's grip, fighting to keep the shock from my expression when I saw that it was him who had stopped me. My stomach lurched uncomfortably and I shifted my eyes from him to Sebastian, who had remained in the ring, a look of hurt and confusion on his expression.

"I'm not okay," I whispered to Nate, my eyes digging through his own, gauging his reaction as I said my next few words. "I can't do this anymore. I don't want to do this anymore."

Before I turned away, I saw his expression falter, and the familiar signs of guilt swept through. I made my way outside before I heard him, knowing fully well that he wouldn't have just let me walk out like that, no matter what I said.

"I don't want to talk—"

"We're going home."

I turned to face him slightly, glancing back through the gym doors to see that everyone had busied themselves now that I, the spectacle, had left.

"What about—"

His grip on my arm wasn't painful, only firm. "We're going home."

And at that point, there was nothing else for me to do except to follow him and ignore the voice in my head that was urgently warning me to not go with Sebastian back to the house, especially not alone for that matter.

"Don't do it."

But I did anyways.

+++++

(Sebastian's POV)

When I woke up this morning without her by my side, I thought I couldn't breathe. My feet moved quickly as I nearly sprinted throughout the house, stopping only when I noticed her small frame cradled on top of a chair on the back porch. I felt the worry extinguish from inside of me, before both relief and anger began to fill my insides quickly, nearly drowning me in the process.

Drowning. A bitter laugh left my lips as I thought of the irony behind the word.

I hurriedly went back upstairs after I had found her and walked back into our room. I ran my hands anxiously through my hair as I thought over last night, when I had told her I knew what she was doing.

Yes, I knew she had an ulterior motive that she was keeping to herself—actually this whole plan that she was keeping to herself; yet I couldn't manage to figure out what the hell she intended to do. I couldn't understand why the hell she wanted to act as though she was suicidal, but at the same time, from the way she'd been acting before and the way she was now, I couldn't help but genuinely wonder if she was suicidal.

But then I remembered who I was dealing with. Evelyn Summers was much too prideful, too stubborn, to let herself go like that. She'd been in too many life or death situations for her to choose suicide.

Yet at the same time, she wouldn't let anyone else take her life because that was something she firmly believed that she was in control of. So maybe with that thought in mind, she believed that she was the only one with the power to take her own life.

My hands had formed fists by my side, aching to take out their anger on the wall in front of me. The frustration inside of me was growing rapidly, eating away at my insides while I desperately tried to figure her out.

But I couldn't. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't find a way to fully understand her and it was killing me. Because if I couldn't find out why she faked a suicide attempt, I was going to second guess myself, and if I second guessed myself, I was going to question if she even wanted to live, and I couldn't do that. I couldn't be there for her, protect her, and care for her if I was too distracted by this.

The sound of Danny's worried yells prompted me to follow the rush of footsteps downstairs, stopping once I reached the kitchen.

As soon as I heard them talking outside on the porch, I busied myself by making a cup of coffee, hoping that it would distract me from also walking out there, even though I knew she was alright.

"Were you not even going to check to see if she was okay?"

Danny's tone was harsh and accusing, and judging by his tightened fists, I knew he was on the verge of losing his shit. I kept my eyes fixated on the mug in front of me, my expression darkening when I saw her out of the corner of my eye.

He thinks I don't care about her, I thought angrily to myself.

Of course I fucking care about her.

"I didn't see the point." My eyes trailed over Evie's disarranged figure, narrowing when I noticed the trails of tears that had dried on her cheeks and the saddened frown she wore on her lips.

It's an act, I tried to remind myself.

And as fucked up as it seemed, I needed it to be one.

+++++

(Sebastian's POV continued)

"Don't you get it?" Her voice was shrill and her eyes darted around the room as though she was trying to make sure everyone else was watching. Sweat was dripping slowly down her body, and her chest was moving rapidly while she attempted to control her breath. "I don't want to do this! I don't want to fight you, I don't want to be here, I just don't want to fucking do this anymore."

I didn't bother moving from the mat, I merely just lied there, watching as she frantically waved her arms around as she spoke. In all honesty, she was doing a great job at acting as though she was about to lose her mind; yet the hesitant glances around the room told me otherwise.

"I tried to kill myself, what don't you understand?"

Her words were sharp and painful, making me push myself into a standing position as she climbed out of the ring and swiftly made her way to the door. I tensed when I saw Nate grip her arm, noting the way her eyes shifted from him to me before they exchanged a few words in a hushed manner.

She pushed away from him before exiting the gym without so much as a glance back. I acted before Danny could, telling everyone to go back to his or her own workouts and that I would be taking Evie home. I ignored the way Danny's eyes narrowed at me, instead focusing on the guilt-ridden expression Nate wore as he stared through the glass door.

"Excuse me," I said rather roughly as I stepped around him, watching as his face flushed and he grumbled out an apology before moving out of my way while avoiding my eyes at the same time.

I didn't bother wasting my time thinking about his actions; instead I pushed through the door and found myself staring at her back.

"I don't want to talk—"

"We're going home."

She was startled by my voice and turned to face me slightly, glancing back through the gym doors in confusion when she realized that I had been the only one to come out.

"What about—"

I gripped her arm firmly, not intending to hurt her. "We're going home."

She glanced at the doors again before looking back at me. It seemed as though she was having an internal argument with herself, but after a few moments, it looked as though she decided against whatever she was thinking about and slowly nodded her head, following me to the car.

This is good.

I had to get her alone.

I had to get answers.

+++++

(Evie's POV)

We walked into the house in silence, neither of us even attempting to say anything to the other.

I felt a drop of sweat trail down my spine, making me wince in disgust. My entire body ached and I could feel the bruises already begin to form. My abdomen was especially sore, and every breath I took made me cringe and flinch in discomfort. Needless to say, I felt as though I had been hit by a truck and wanted nothing more than to have a long hot shower and wash away all the exhaustion that had coated over me.

But I knew that was impossible, because I was now stuck in a house alone with Sebastian, the one who had somewhat figured me out, and now was hell bent of finding out what I was up to.

I made my way into the kitchen without bothering to even glance back at Sebastian, knowing fully well that he would be following right behind me. My throat was dry and my breathing was labored, so I moved to grab a glass from the cabinet above. As I placed it onto the counter, my eyes drifted down towards the bright, metallic object that had been left out. Frowning, I picked up the knife to move it to the sink, when my hips were shoved forwards by a large presence behind me, and I was slammed into the counter.

A sharp gasp of air left my lips when my wrist was captured in his large hand, and then slammed down onto the counter, effectively making me drop the knife back onto the counter with a harsh clatter.

"Can't have a suicidal girl holding a knife, now can I?" His voice was low and his tone was taunting.

With a bewildered expression I managed to turn around in the narrow space between Sebastian and the counter, ignoring the blaring pain that rang through my body when I did so.

"What the fuck?" I cried out, emotion taking over as all the pain and fatigue began to push me closer and closer to the edge of absolute insanity.

Sebastian took no notice to the disorientated and pained look I wore on my face, but instead only smirked in response, his hand still tightly wound around my wrist.

He was trying to crack me.

"What Ev, thought you always liked it rough?" He sneered at me, his free hand grazing over my hip.

From the small shock of pain that resulted from his actions and his words ringing in my head, I was shoved into the abyss of madness and I felt the tears sting at my eyes while a cry of discomfort broke through my quivering lips.

"Don't touch me," I yelped out, using my free hand to push him away. Fortunately I was able to catch him by surprise, and he stumbled away from me, a surprised look drawn across his features.

I curled forwards the second he backed away, and I allowed the tired tears to stream down my cheeks as I wrapped my arms around my stomach while I whimpered pathetically.

Remember when you were younger and were tired, and your mom would tell you to go to bed but because you were too stubborn you wouldn't and then you'd end up getting so exhausted you'd eventually just start crying profusely?

That was me right now. I was fucking drained completely of every last drop of energy and I felt like bawling my eyes out until I could collapse into sleep.

"Evie—"

"That really fucking hurt." I snapped out, ignoring the way my voice trembled. He shifted on his feet slightly while I slowly uncurled my body, and lifted my shift, observing the damage.

My stomach was swollen and tainted with black and blue bruises, including one that was especially dark around my right hip, where Sebastian's fist had connected when I just barely avoided him. The other side wasn't nearly as bad, yet just the sight of the bruises were enough to make me lean back my head and let another cry break through.

"Jesus, Ev," Sebastian muttered, blatantly uncomfortable with my state.

"You fucking asshole." My tone could only be described as sadistic at this point. "You're trying to break me."

Sebastian speedily wiped the surprise from his face before replacing it with a look of feigned innocence. "I was merely looking out for you, I don't know what you mean about 'breaking you.'"

My watery eyes met his and I let out a growl of frustration. "Bullshit! You and I both know I didn't try to kill myself!"

I felt my heart drop to my stomach the second the words left my mouth. My blood began pumping harder through my veins and I felt myself momentarily become light headed. Before Sebastian had the chance to react I shoved away from the counter and took off towards the stairs, a newfound surge of adrenaline rushing through me when I heard footsteps following me.

I felt the air leave my lungs when I moved to close the door behind me, only to have it shoved back my way by Sebastian's hand.

"Stop following me!" I shrieked, my stomach jumping nervously as I hurried into the bathroom, a new coat of sweat prickling my skin.

"You can't just say that and then run away." Sebastian cried out, unable to hide the disbelief from his tone.

"You have thrown this whole plan away."

"Why couldn't you just leave it alone?" I spat out, glaring at him with as much hatred that I could gather inside of me.

"Because believe it or not, I actually do care a lot for you, Evie," Sebastian countered back, "So when you decided to fucking fake a suicide attempt, I'm going to want to know why."

I tried to ignore the way my cheeks flushed at his word as well as the nerves that sparked in the pit of my stomach.

"You need to fucking get it together and fix this."

I've immensely screwed up, and the malicious voice in my head had no difficulty in telling me so.

"You should have let it go." I barked back, refusing to let his words affect how I felt right now.

"I couldn't."

"Do you think this was easy for me?" I screamed so loudly that my voice became hoarse. "Do you think I like making the people closest to me so miserable and hurt over something I did on purpose?"

For once Sebastian had nothing to say, and for once, I wanted him to say something.

My breathing had become labored once again, and the anxiety began to spill out of my pores. I snatched the mustard yellow bottle off the counter, shaking it so that I could take the small white pill that fell from it. Swallowing it dryly, I turned back to Sebastian, an enervated expression on my face.

"I'm scared." I bit out, hating the way the simple sentence made me feel. "I'm really fucking scared about Nick and the 9 Black Guns and before you even try to say that you can protect me, I'm going to need you to shut up."

Sebastian slowly closed his mouth; worry now draping across his features.

"I hate being helpless and you know that." I said after a moment of silence. "I didn't want to have to rely on your or anyone else to protect me, especially after these last few days—I just had to do something on my own."

"You don't have to make some elaborate plan of action to stop yourself from feeling helpless, you know that right?" Sebastian said almost cautiously.

I rolled my eyes in irritation, nodding my head. "I know that. But what was I supposed to do? Just wait until the gang that I'm apparently not even a part of, takes down the man who is determined to ruin my life? In case you haven't realized, it's not like the Kings have been doing such a great job with this situation either."

Sebastian frowned at my words, "So your grand idea was to manipulate everyone so they thought you were on the verge of madness and completely suicidal?"

"This is why I didn't want to tell you!" I cried out, flinging my arms up in the air despite the painful protest my body gave. "You're so fucking narrow minded and you can't even seem to comprehend even the slightest possibility that I thought of a plan that wasn't complete shit."

His frown disappeared and was replaced by a look of guilt. "Evie, I don't think you're an idiot or anything, I just don't understand what you were trying to accomplish with all of this."

I bit back the snappy comments that bubbled inside of me, and instead only nodded my head.

"It's elaborate and rather risky, but you have to understand that it wasn't for nothing." My words were coming out slower as I tried to decide whether or not I would tell Sebastian about my theory and my recent discovery, or make up some bullshit response that he would have no other choice than to accept.

"Okay," his tone was now softer, matching my own. "What was it for then?"

I hesitated, trying to measure the consequences that could result from my actions if I told him the truth, or if I lied to him.

"Evie, please," he said in a desperate manner, "Just so I can have some peace of mind."

It was my turn to frown now, confusion filling my mind while Sebastian shifted nervously on his feet.

It was almost amusing, to see one of the most feared men in London look so anxious and worried over something.

"Peace of mind?" I questioned, watching as his cheeks slightly flushed.

"Look," he burst out, "I know you said you didn't actually try to kill yourself, and I know you have some sort of elaborate plan on your hands but Evie you scare me shitless sometimes and I care about you a lot, so even if this was part of a plan and it's all an act, I can't help but worry."

I gaped at him in a state of shock, unable to form a single sentence as he stared into my eyes.

"And then there was that dream as well—"

"I'm not suicidal!" I cried out, not wanting to hear the rest of his theories.

"But—"

"Nick Harmon has some sort of infatuation with me and like we've all been saying, he always seems to be one step, if not many more, ahead of all of us." I wasn't even bothering to think as I spoke, the words just seemed to flow from my lips. "For him to know so much about us and basically know our every move, I realized that he had to have—"

"Someone on this inside." Sebastian finished for me, his eyes now wide with understanding.

I nodded quickly. "Yes, so therefore, if the one person he seems to be so enthralled by is suddenly in danger, or even better—a danger to herself—Nick would find out, as would all of London." I cut myself short there only slightly, refraining from revealing the most vital part of my plan.

"So you were trying to see if he had an insider," Sebastian finally said after standing in silence.

"I know he has an insider." I told him.

"You were trying to figure out who it is," he corrected himself, still unaware that I had figured it out.

I shook my head, ignoring all the consequences that could follow. "I wasn't trying to figure out who it is, I figured out who it is."

Sebastian paused, his eyes wider than I'd ever seen them.

"Who?"

Now I paused, feeling my heart pound and my blood rush.

"Nate."

My eyes instantly drifted downwards as I mulled over his possible reactions. I was expecting enraged yells, if not a verbal proclamation of how he was going to tear Nate limb from limb until he as nothing but a bloody stump. But there was only silence, and when I couldn't take it any longer, I forced my eyes to meet his.

What I hadn't expected, was to find myself face to face with a boy who looked more like a love struck teenager, rather than the renowned gang leader, Sebastian King.

He was grinning down at me, his eyes shining brightly with a look of pride and affection dancing in their depths.

"You're fucking incredible," he breathed out.

Before I had to chance to process his words or even his reaction, I felt his arms encircle around me, gently pressing me into his body.

"What?"

He pulled away, the same look in his eyes.

"I doubted you," he admitted in a shameful tone, "I doubted you during all of this, all because I didn't have the ability to process what you were doing, or even consider why you were doing it. And these last few days, they would have fucked up anyone else, but not you—not you. Instead you managed to form one of the most incredible plans, which yes, it was risky and dangerous, but it worked and that's all that matters."

"You're not mad?" I asked cautiously, referring to my actions; however, Sebastian missed my reference, because almost instantly the bright look on his face was consumed by darkness.

"Oh I am fucking furious," he snarled out, his voice shaking with rage. "Believe me, when I get my hands on that son of a bitch he will be lucky if he ever sees the light of day."

There he is. There's the Sebastian you know and love.

My stomach jolted at the word "love" and I worked to ignore the release of butterflies in the pit of my stomach as Sebastian carried on with great detail on how he planned out dismembering Nate.

"Wait," I said, trying to cut him off.

Sebastian didn't seem to hear me, and continued his rant until I placed my hand on his arm.

"I was asking if you were mad at me." I said slowly, watching for a reaction.

Surprise, confusion, anger, and disbelief flashed through his expression all at once, making me bite my lip nervously. I couldn't tell what he was feeling, or if I had somehow directed his anger towards me now.

"Why the fuck would I be mad at you?" He finally asked after visibly working to calm himself down.

"Because," I hesitated, unsure if I should list all of the reasons he could be mad at me. "Because I went behind your back."

"Evie, when I kicked you out of the gang, I was acting on emotion. Lately that's all I've been doing—acting on emotion. I realize how much that has blinded me, because while I thought I was protecting you, I was actually making myself oblivious to the fact that there's a rat in our gang, right under my nose in fact. But you, despite everything, you have managed to stay level headed and figure out a way to beat Nick at his own game."

You have managed to stay level headed. I wanted to snort at that, but refrained from doing so.

If only he knew you were hearing your dead father's voice in your head.

"So what are we going to do now?" I asked.

"I already told you. I'm going to rip Nate—"

I cut him off with a wave of my hand. "No you will not."

This made him narrow his eyes at me slightly, something he always did whenever I, or anyone else, tried to tell him what to do. It was a pride thing, really, and Sebastian was much too prideful to not react.

"Excuse me," he questioned, the slight annoyance evident in his voice.

"Listen here, Sebastian King," I snapped, feeling my confidence send a surge of energy throughout my body. "I have worked so hard over this last past day in order to manipulate people who I care about into thinking that I wanted to kill myself. As you said before, you've been acting out on your emotions and that is exactly what you want to do right now, but I will not let you do that because then you will absolutely destroy all that I've been working for and I will not fucking allow that, do you understand me?"

The seconds of silence that passed us seemed like hours, days even, and I couldn't even begin to describe the relief that flowed through me when Sebastian finally opened his mouth to respond.

"I'm so fucking attracted to you right now."

"Are you kidding me?" I exclaimed, unable to fight down the bright red blush that scorched my cheeks.

Sebastian held up his hands in defense while he smirked deeply, the look of affection back in his eyes.

"What? It's the truth!"

"I asked if you understood," I bit out, inwardly ordering myself to not give in to him right now.

He moved closer, his smirk deepening when I placed my hands on his chest, forcing him to a stand still.

"Do you understand?" I repeated, glaring at him despite the wildfire that was raging inside of my stomach.

"I understand." He finally said, lightly placing his hands on my sides.

With a roll of my eyes I gently slapped away his hands. "Good, now go. I need to take a shower."

I didn't wait for him to leave the room as I pulled my shirt over my head, observing the bruises that scattered my stomach. I didn't even realize I had exposed my distorted back to him until I felt his lips on my shoulder blade, making me gasp out in surprise and move away from him speedily.

"What are you doing?" I asked shakily, my eyes darting everywhere.

"You know, those bruises look very bad," he said, his eyes trailing over my pale stomach.

His words instantly made the butterflies disappear as I rolled my eyes in annoyance and sent him a glare. "Yeah, no thanks to you."

He smirked slightly at my tone, his eyes digging into my own. "I'm sorry I made you feel bad, how about I make you feel better?"

A genuine laugh left my lips at this. "Jesus, you really get turned on when a girl orders you around."

Sebastian only shrugged, "I can't help myself. You're a very brilliant, attractive girl, but when you're bossy—" he let out a low groan, "It seems as though I lose all my self-control."

"I'd say you have hardly any to begin with," I muttered, crossing my arms across my chest while watching him closely.

While there were parts of me that wanted nothing more to give in to Sebastian at this moment, I couldn't help but feel the pit of my stomach fill with hurt. As a girl who has to depend on her looks and over-sexualized mannerisms to complete a job, I couldn't help but feel that that was all Sebastian saw when he looked at me. Granted, he did just tell me how brilliant he found me, which honestly made my confidence soar, yet at the same time, he was now acting like an animal in heat with his lack of self-control.

"Please leave the room so I can shower." My tone was clipped and my eyes were now cold and hard, sending him an icy glare. "I already feel gross enough, I don't need you adding on to it."

It seemed as though my words had managed to cause Sebastian to snap out of his state, and a look of guilt replaced the lust that had previously been dancing through his eyes. His face took on a solemn expression as he nodded and backed away, giving me the space that I didn't want, but felt like I needed.

"I'm sorry, Ev," he said seriously, "I was acting like a fucker, I'm sorry."

I nodded, refusing to allow myself to look into his eyes, knowing fully well that if I did I would give in and allow my cravings to get the best of me.

"You're not just some pretty face, you're so much more than that."

I nearly let out a frustrated scream the second the door shut, my hands instantly covering my face as I inwardly yelled.

I knew Sebastian was no Prince Charming, as I was no Cinderella myself, so I couldn't ever expect some kind of fairytale life for us. I couldn't do that because as far as I knew, no princess ever killed someone, and no princess was ever madly in love with a man who has been called a monstrous murderer more times than his own name.

But there were times when he'd be so sweet and kind, and an inkling of hope would sprout within me. It's not that I wanted a life like a Disney princess—I just wanted someone to look at me and not think, "Oh that bird would be a great shag," which has been said to me more times than I can count. I wanted someone to look at me the way my mom looked at my dad, as fucked up as it was. Because if you, and it's hard to, ignore all the abuse whether it was drug or physical, you could see that my mom looked at my dad like a blind man who was gifted with sight after living his whole life in darkness.

I wanted that.

After getting out of the rest of my clothes, I stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to caress my skin.

"You better hope Sebastian doesn't ruin this plan for you."

Ah, there he was. I was starting to think he had abandoned me.

Nevertheless, my dad was right. Sebastian now knowing what the purpose of my actions were could possibly make everything I have been working for come crumbling down; even though it did serve as a source of relief to me, knowing that I wouldn't have to keep such a large secret to myself anymore.

But you still haven't told him everything.

It's not like I can.

As content as I was with him knowing my plan, I knew deep down that he could never find out what I truly intended to happen, because there was no way in hell he would allow it. I could only imagine the way he'd react—and unlike before, I knew there was no way he would react in any positive manner.

If he knew that I—

A surprised yelp shot though my lips when the glass door burst open, causing water to splatter onto the bathroom floor.

"What are you doing?" I cried out, attempting to cover my body as best as I could with my small hands. I moved back a few steps, out from under the stream of water, so that my back was pressed against the cold tiles of the shower.

Sebastian's eyes were fixed on my own, not once faltering or even attempting to glance downwards as I had thought they would.

"I'm not good at this," he admitted, his voice hardly audible over the rush of the water. "But I'm going to try because I don't want you to ever doubt it, or doubt yourself."

"Sebastian—"

"I love you, Evie, I love you so much it confuses and scares me out of my mind. But even as insane as I feel when I'm with you, it's when I'm without you that I realize what true madness is. I've been terrible to you so I understand why you wouldn't believe me when I say this, but god damn it Evie, I am absolutely in love with you and I can't keep it in anymore."

Every breath I took was becoming increasingly shallower, and I had to dig my nails into my skin to remind myself that I wasn't dreaming.

Did Sebastian King just, quite literally, declare his love for me?

"I was going to tell you yesterday, when I was walking to your room," he started explaining, his hands nervously twitching by his sides. He didn't even seem to notice the onslaught of water that was sprinkling all over him, drenching his gray t-shirt and turning it nearly black. "I wanted to tell you that I cared about you too much to hate you, and how much I need you in my life."

"Sebastian," I murmured with a sigh, a mixture of emotions churning in my stomach.

"I just want the best for you, and maybe the best thing for you isn't me, but until you tell me otherwise, I'm going to be here for you—always."

I was completely speechless, one part of me wondering if Sebastian had planted a bug into my head and heard what I had been thinking only moments before, and another questioning why he had decided at that moment to confess his love for me.

"I'm naked."

I cringed the second the words left my lips, but it was all I managed to say as he looked at me expectantly, his face flushing when he heard my statement.

"Right, yes, there's that," he muttered, his eyes now darting across the ground rather than looking at me. "I'm just going to—" he motioned outside and took a step back.

Fuck it.

My feet moved on their own accord and within a few seconds, my chest knocked against his and instantly my arms wrapped around his neck, as though my body was acting on pure, natural instinct.

And then we were kissing.

Time seemed to freeze around us and the only sounds that could be heard were ours mingled breaths and the water splashing against the tiled floor of the shower. By now his clothes were completely soaked but he didn't seem to take notice. I didn't even care that I was utterly naked, pressed tightly against him as our lips moved with such fervor that I felt as though I was sweating.

I gulped for air when we broke away, my heartbeat thudding loudly in my ears, making it nearly impossible to hear what he was saying. It had felt so natural, so right, that I felt like it was just part of my human nature.

"Jesus Christ."

I blushed at this, smiling slightly when I noticed the hungry, dark look in his eyes, a look that I had surprisingly missed very much.

"Now go," I told him, playfully pushing him away while a grin graced my lips. "I need to finish my shower."

He groaned before shamelessly tracing his eyes over my naked form, causing a bright blush to rise to my cheeks, only dying down when he finally exited the bathroom, a large smile on his face.

And for a moment there, I forgot about why I had felt so guilty. But as soon as he left, I was quickly reminded why.

While he now knew the reason behind my rather rash actions yesterday—to find out who the rat was, he had yet to understand that I had another ulterior motive to my actions.

I didn't want to only know who the rat was just so that I could have some sort of peace of mind, but also because once I figured out who it was, I was going to do what I did best, what my father trained me to do, and manipulate them.

I was going to make them think I was on the verge of death specifically because I knew Nick Harmon would not allow that once he heard. I knew he would have no other choice other than to act quickly, and do what he had meant to do from the beginning.

My mind drifted back to the day I first met him, the terrible memory flooding back almost instantly.

"Just give me a shot."

"I'd like to see you get shot."

He narrowed his eyes at my quick response. "Oh Evie, I thought you were over that life by now."

At that moment, I could have sworn my heart physically stopped beating in my chest. My eyes met his, and I knew my hesitation had already sold me out.

"What?" He questioned, "You didn't think your presence in New York City of all places was going to go unnoticed, did you?"

I stared back at him numbly, unable to form a vocal response as my eyes blinked rapidly. I felt an urge to get another pill into my system, but it seemed as though I was frozen to the spot.

"What do you want from me?" I asked, my voice barely audible.

He smirked, his hand reaching up to twirl a loose lock of hair that had slipped in front of my face.

"You."

Infatuation, whether it is over someone or even something, can cause even the most brilliant and clear-eyed people to become blinded.

I planned on using his blindness to my advantage.

Nick wanted me; that much was clear. The thought of me slipping from his grip, would prompt him to act sooner, probably much sooner than he would have hoped.

He was going to come for me, so that he could take me, and so that I would quite literally, finally be in his clutches.

And when he did, I was going to let him.

That's the part Sebastian didn't know, the part that he couldn't know.

I was going to let Nick take me, because when he did, I was going to kill him.

"It's only for the best."

And I couldn't help but agree.

+++++

The next few days passed almost peacefully. Sebastian was caught up in the affairs of the Kings, as was everyone else, and as much as it killed me to not be a part of it, I was somewhat happy to have some time to myself.

But then there was Kate.

Now let me tell you a little something about Kate Preston. The girl, on top of being incredibly smart when it came to taking phones and practically sucking all the information out of them, was highly, even painfully, observant. It was a blessing and a curse really. On the bright side, I never had to fully explain something to her, because she would already be piecing it together as I spoke, figuring it out before I could even finish my sentence. However, when it came to the times where I was trying to go behind everyone's back, it seemed like she was right there, waiting for me.

"You and Sebastian haven't been at each other's throats lately," she said casually, even though I knew that statement was anything but.

I hummed in response, slightly nodded my head as I flipped through the channels on the television, mindlessly hoping to find something to distract the both of us as the guys, rather loudly, discussed something in Sebastian's office.

"Don't you want to know what's going on in there?" She egged on, her eyes now fixed on me while I remained determined to keep my own trained on the television. "Come on, Ev, you can't tell me you aren't the slightest bit curious to know what is happening."

The thing she didn't know, or anyone else except for Sebastian, was that Sebastian had been keeping me informed of exactly what was happening during these meetings. Initially he had tried to offer me my position back, but after realizing it might convince both Nick and Nate that everything was returning back to normal, we decided it wasn't in our best interests to have me come back.

"Curiosity killed the cat."

I smirked when I heard her groan, feeling her glare over at me while I settled on a show we used to watch all the time together back in the States. Feeling rather devious, I turned to her with my smirk still in tact.

"Hey, have you heard of this show?" I asked motioning to the tv, "It's called 'New Girl,' and it's a laugh if I do say so—"

"Shut the fuck up." Kate snapped back at me, a nearly murderous expression on her face. It was now her turn to stare at the television, her arms crossed tightly over her chest.

I smiled at her, refraining from laughing, as I knew she might actually try to kill me if I did.

"So when were you going to tell me that you and Sebastian hooked up?" She asked after a few moments of silence. My lips parted in shock and my eyes instantly widened, making me feel as if she had dumped a bucket of ice water over me.

"What—" I spluttered out, making a series of inhuman noises as I tried to figure out how she would have known. In a pathetic attempt to remain unaffected, although it was quite obvious that I had been caught, I settled with, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Finally!" She cried out, bouncing up and down on the couch while she stared me with wide eyes.

Then, without warning, a wave of dread washed over me as I took in her excitement and enthusiasm. Only days before she could hardly look at me without tearing up, as though the very sight of me served as a reminder of my attempt. But now, she was acting as though nothing had happened. She had been too scared to even try to approach me, yet now she was urging to get me to talk about something that I was still unsure of how she knew about it.

I didn't bother turning the tv off before my hand reached out and latched onto her wrist so that I could forcibly pull her up the stairs and into my room.

"When did you figure it out?" I asked, my tone low. "Did someone tell you?"

Her innocent, surprised expression lingered for a few seconds before it dropped from her face completely, and she yanked her wrist from my hand. Her sudden change of expression caught me by surprise, as the look of anger and hatred in her eyes was one that I had not ever seen before.

"Well it wasn't you, that's for sure." Her tone was one of betrayal, and I felt as though my insides were swimming in guilt the second I heard it.

"How?" I uttered out.

She stared at me for a moment before backing away slightly, the look of hatred and betrayal simmering down to a look of plain hurt. "You know, I wouldn't have told anyone what you were trying to do. I can keep a secret."

Then the frustration returned to her expression.

"I know this may come as a surprise to you, but you're my best fucking friend and it absolutely killed me to think that you had done something like that. Do you even realize how much it fucking hurt? I even went as far as to blame myself!"

My stomach jumped nervously as her voice rose.

"Kate, please," I pleaded, hoping to quiet her.

"What, you're scared someone else will find out?" She exclaimed, her eyes filled with so much emotion.

"What the hell is going on here?" Mason barked out after he threw open the door, a look of confusion and surprise on his expression. "We can hear the two of you arguing from downstairs!"

"Haven't you heard?" Kate questioned, "Curiosity killed the cat."

I flinched as she threw the words back at me, watching with a sinking feeling as she turned on her heel and marched downstairs without so much as a glance back at the two of us.

"Evie?" Mason questioned, turning to me cautiously.

I clenched my jaw, my eyes turning cold. "You heard her."

+++++

"Emily's coming back today." Sebastian announced, cautiously glancing around the room. I knew his caution had something to do with the fact that she had missed out on some extreme events over the course of the last few days, and his eyes silently questioned me what I planned to do.

"Her job was a success, I suppose," Danny said, a tired look on his face.

"It was," Sebastian confirmed in a similar manner. "She should be back soon, I got a call only a few hours ago."

"Maybe we should just not mention anything to her," Callum offered, his eyes flickering over to me before moving back to Sebastian.

The tension was evident in the room, everyone uncomfortably avoiding each other's eyes.

We all held our breath when a noise emitted from the doorway, and the lock twisted in its place. The door flung open, revealing the tall, blonde haired girl that everyone had been anxiously awaiting.

"So," She said as she entered the room, unbothered by the fact that everyone was sitting there, "Who was going to be the one to tell me that Evie tried to kill herself?"

"I can't be here."

We all watched in surprise as Kate turned and stumbled into Nate, her hands fumbling around as he reached out to steady her. As soon as she exited, the attention turned back to Emily and me.

"This is a joke, right?" Emily asked, her voice no longer as steady and confident as it had been before. "It's just some fucked up rumor, right?"

Silence echoed.

"Oh my god," she whispered out, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she stared at me in horror.

"You can't screw this up right now."

"Sell it."

"I should have done it right." My voice was shaky and I felt my face burn.

"Evie—" Sebastian said, recognizing what I was doing.

"I hate that you stopped me! I hate you. Can't you see how unhappy I am?" My voice broke halfway through, and I covered my face before turning away and rushing up the stairs in a manner much similar to Kate.

I'd just managed to make it into my room without anyone stopping me, when I let out of gasp of fright, clearly caught off guard when I realized Kate was sitting on the edge of my bed, anxiously twisting her hands on her lap.

"I heard you and Sebastian that day you guys left early from the gym and came back here." She said quickly. "I got tired quickly so Mason agreed to take me back here, but left so that he would be able to get everyone else when they were done."

She allowed a soft, nervous chuckle to leave her lips before she continued.

"I'd been worried about you, especially after that show you put on in the gym, and I didn't think it would be best for you to be alone with him. Anyway, by the time I got here, it seemed like you both were already upstairs."

"And that's when you overheard us," I finally said, realization dawning over me.

She nodded, a guilty look taking over her expression. "I was mad at first, but then when I realized what you had done, and why you had done it, I knew I couldn't truly be mad at you."

"But this morning," I started.

"Yes, I'm not genuinely angry with you, but I was still a little bitter. I couldn't help myself." She admitted guiltily, staring at the ground.

"You fucking bitch."

Kate barely had time to look up before I nearly tackled her off the bed, making her stumble to her feet. My arms wrapped tightly around her as I hugged her, my heart pounding with relief.

"You scared me so badly," I whispered.

The feeling of losing a friend was foreign to me, because for most of my life I had to deal with not having any. It was miserable, to say the least, but knowing that she didn't hate me was all I needed to let my guard down and admit to her how worried I had been.

"You scared me too," she told me, laughing as she hugged me back.

After a few moments we pulled away, a now stern look on her expression while one of slight confusion was on mine.

"Now I'm sure you're going to find a way to deal with Emily, but in the mean time, what are you going to do about Nate?" She asked in a hushed tone, patiently waiting for my response.

I anxiously ran my hands through my hair before shrugging.

"I still haven't figured it out. I mean I'm doing all that I can to get Nick—" I paused, unsure if I should reveal to Kate the part of the plan that I had kept from Sebastian.

"I know you're trying to get Nick to kidnap you, or something of that sort."

My jaw dropped in shock and I stared at Kate through wide eyes, causing her lips to drop downwards in a slight frown.

"Wait you mean to tell me that Sebastian doesn't know that part?" She questioned, disbelief flashing across her features. "I mean, I understand why you wouldn't want him to know, but seriously? London's most dangerous man wasn't able to put that together?"

She was silent for a few seconds before waving her hand dismissively. "Good thing he's attractive, because I would seriously question why you even bother with him if he wasn't."

"Kate!" I hissed out, fighting to keep the smile off my mouth as I glanced at the doorway. "For the record, I've been doing a very good job at keeping this all under wraps, if I do say so myself."

"You weren't that subtle when you basically yelled your plan at Sebastian," Kate shot back, amusement dancing in her eyes.

I sent a playful glare back, "Way to crash right into Nate during your dramatic exit. It was a wonderful attempt at a sly getaway." I mocked her sarcastically, watching as a smirk formed on her lips.

"What if I wasn't trying to have a sly getaway?" She asked, her eyes now shining brightly in anticipation.

My brows furrowed in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"All you need now is for Nick to act, right?" She asked, waiting for me to nod my head slowly, still unsure of what she was trying to say.

"Well, Miss Evelyn Summer, or is it Evelyn King?" She mocked, "It seems as though you're not the only one in this house who knows how to take advantage of a situation."

"What are you talking about?" I almost cried out in exasperation.

She was practically bouncing with excitement when she lifted the sleek, black device in front of my face, a look of accomplishment written over hers.

"Is that his phone?" I breathed out, my eyes focusing on the object, the object that he desperately tried to keep by his side at all times and would hardly ever take his eyes off of.

She nodded with a grin.

"So when should I get started?" She asked, cradling the phone in her hands as she basically took in apart with her eyes.

"As soon as you can," I finally managed to choke out, still in a state of complete astonishment.

She giggled and knocked my shoulder playfully with her hand.

"I'll start tonight. It's time Nick Harmon got a taste of his own fucking medicine."

I had to stifle my laughter with my hand, only removing it when I found myself hugging her again, unable to restrain myself.

"Thank you so much," I whispered, unable to fully express how grateful I was.

"Oh hush up," she said, taking a step back with a knowing expression on her face, "You and I both know you'd do the same for me."

I smiled and nodded my head eagerly, "Of course I would."

She rolled her eyes at my actions before tossing the phone a few times in her hands.

"I have an idea," She said, her lips quivering as she suppressed a smile.

"Yeah?"

"How about while I take this phone apart and get what you need, you tell me all about that kiss between you and Sebastian," she said, laughing a bit at the end. "I mean, in the shower? Absolutely butt naked? Really, Evie?"

My face turned a bright tomato red before I swiped at her playfully.

"Oh shut up, asshole."

+++++

I wasn't able to have many, or even any friends when I was growing up. Apart from Harry, I spent most of my time in school alone, until I eventually dropped out so that I could pursue my work in the gang full time.

I didn't get to grow up knowing what it felt like to have a best friend, a person who genuinely cared about you and protected you not because it was his or her job or because they were family, but because that was just what friend does.

Then I met Kate Preston, an absolute technological genius, a painfully observant person, and on top of that, an incredible friend.

Lately I'd felt that I was losing control of myself, having to work alone in order to take down the man who seemed so determined to tear my life to shreds. And pardon me for being disgustingly emotional, but now I felt that I'd finally secured a grip back onto the life I thought was slipping rapidly from my fingers, hanging on its last thread for far too long.

"There's not much time left."

He was right.

Nick was going to have to come for me soon, and I was going to have to be ready.

+++++

Holy shit I really hope you guys like this.