A CRUEL MIND

The time seemed to move both fast and not fast enough, and before he knew it, he was being called next. Baekhyun was so nervous as he walked into the room, and he couldn't remember a time where he had been more nervous. He felt like hurling.

He had never been one for stage fright, and he knew that wasn't his problem, his problem was him. He messed with Baekhyun's head too much and it's been two days now since that night, and yet it seemed like it had just happened. Baekhyun couldn't understand why he couldn't forget, and he had been the one to insist that they do!? What was it? What was so special about Park Chanyeol that just one night with him left Baekhyun so confused and . . . wanting more?

Sucking in a harsh breath, Baekhyun made his way onto the stage. He fleetingly glanced at Chanyeol, who sat in the front row as he said, "Alright, Baekhyun, you may either choose an instrument or sing, or you can also do both. And did you complete the form?"

Baekhyun nodded numbly and merely waved the paper in his hand before responding, regretfully, in a choked voice, "I-I'll give it to you when I'm done." Chanyeol nodded, an emotion in his eyes that Baekhyun couldn't read.

"Alright then, you may proceed," Chanyeol said.

Baekhyun nodded again and glanced around before slowly making his way towards the piano, and began to play as he sung:

I've opened all of me for you
My eyes, the deepest part of my heart
In a world that's closed without a small crack
It's the only place that's open for you

They never know
A completely different world
Only we can feel it
They never know
The reason we became this close

The rain makes everything wet
We're ignoring everyone's eyes
I'll cross the line first
To the place where you are, cross that

Oh would you dare to cross the line

Yeah, don't listen to the things
That try to break us down no oh oh
They're jealous of us
Because we enjoy it rather than avoiding it
Are own message
They targeted it
Hurting us however they wanted
The more I kiss the scar from the arrows
I'm falling more for you every day

They never know
They haven't seen
The back of the blue moon
They never know
The reason I'm going closer

The rain makes everything wet
(Rain that covers eyes)
We're ignoring everyone's eyes
(Love is blind, love is blind)
I'll cross the line first
To the same world you're in, cross that

My love is already in your heart
Filled up like a full moon, set free
Past the hesitation, past the line
No matter what they say, don't believe it

Let go, don't say no
Let go, don't say no
Don't listen to other voices baby
Let go, don't say no
Let go, don't say, don't say
You're too beautiful
For us to follow the ending
They've already thought out

The rain makes everything wet
We're ignoring everyone's eyes
I'll cross the line first
To the place where you are
Baby tell me where the line is
Baby tell me where the line is

Baekhyun ended the song on a soft note, his eyes closed as he slowly breathed in. He was trying to get his emotions in check, and when he heard Chanyeol's voice, so close to his ear, he jumped.

His eyes flew open and Chanyeol was standing right there. Baekhyun gasped.

"Wh-what did you say?" Baekhyun stuttered.

"I said your really talented."

"O-oh, th-thank you," Baekhyun muttered.

"You're welcome. Who was that— I mean . . ." Chanyeol trailed off.

Baekhyun furrowed his brow and murmured, "Are you asking if I meant that for anyone?" Chanyeol nodded; Baekhyun nervously bit his bottom lip.

He was about to open his mouth when someone walked into the room, the banging of a door announcing their arrival. Chanyeol instantly jumped away from Baekhyun and turned around as he said, "Junmyeon!"

Junmyeon's eyes widened at Chanyeol's booming voice and he asked, "Chanyeol? Is something wrong?" Chanyeol quickly shook his head and Baekhyun dropped his head, covering his face with one of his hands as his cheeks turned a deep scarlet. Junmyeon frowned but nodded as he said, "Alright, and I only came for my clipboard. So sorry for interrupting the audition."

No, thank you for interrupting, Baekhyun thought. Because I have the feeling I was about to do something really stupid again . . .

When Junmyeon left for his office again, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun sighed in relief.

"Sorry, Baekhyun, but I have to cut this short. Can you call in the next student?" Chanyeol asked before turning away.

Baekhyun nodded and weakly muttered, "Y-yeah."

Baekhyun dazedly made his way from the room and called in the next person. Taeyeon and his friends tried asking how it went, but Baekhyun just mumbled something about having to use the bathroom before making his escape. When he managed to free himself of all their questions, Baekhyun immediately walked to the doors leaving the school and got in his car, driving home and skipping the rest of his classes without so much as a second thought.

An hour later his phone started blowing up with messages from Taeyeon, Luhan, and Kyungsoo. Baekhyun didn't feel like talking though, so he turned his phone off and buried himself in his warm blankets; he was out within minutes.

——

The next time he woke up it was because of a very persistent knocking on his front door. With a groan he threw the blankets off himself, unfortunately giving the cold a chance to latch onto his exposed skin. He shuffled his way to the front room and pulled his door open without checking the peephole, and if only he had . . .

Chanyeol stood in front of him, his eyes looking down. Baekhyun frowned and glanced down too, and then blushed furiously when he realized all he had on was a flimsy T-shirt and boxers.

"Ch-Chanyeol, what are you doing here?" Baekhyun stuttered.

Chanyeol tore his eyes away from Baekhyun's legs and muttered, "Um, I don't know. I mean, I-I kept thinking after you left, and there's something I have to be sure of . . ." Chanyeol trailed off as he stepped forward and gently took Baekhyun's face into his hands. He kissed him softly, causing Baekhyun to gasp in surprise.

With wide eyes Baekhyun pushed Chanyeol away and gasped, "Wh-what are you doing!? Chan—" Chanyeol used the hand still on Baekhyun's cheek to slide his thumb over his mouth, silencing his words.

"I-I'm sorry. I had too. This feeling . . . I can't shake it," Chanyeol whispered.

Baekhyun was conflicted and so many thoughts were running through his head, he just couldn't slow them down fast enough to figure out what they were. He just stared up at Chanyeol with eyes so big and full of questions —- so many questions.

"Do you— I mean, I . . . I think I know what you mean. I'm confused too," Baekhyun murmured.

"Then do you want to help me? Maybe if—-maybe if we kiss again we might figure it out?" Chanyeol murmured.

Baekhyun nodded. "M-maybe. I–I don't know though. I don't want to betray Taeyeon again." Chanyeol nodded and Baekhyun bit his lip. "But this time we haven't been drinking and if anything happened . . . What would it mean?" Chanyeol nodded and gently brushed his thumb over Baekhyun's cheek; neither of them really realizing it was still there.

"Ki-kiss me," Baekhyun whispered.

Chanyeol's eyes widened in surprise and he asked, "What? Do you mean that?" Baekhyun bit his lip and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, just —- just do it," Baekhyun whispered. And he did. Chanyeol kissed him again, matching his earlier tenderness as he slide his fingers up into Baekhyun's hair.

Baekhyun's heart began to race uncontrollably, although it wasn't out of fear or wrongness, but the feeling that it was right. He melted into Chanyeol again much like that night, and he found himself being lifted up into his strong arms as he took him to his bedroom. He couldn't find any reason to object as Chanyeol laid him down on the bed, even Taeyeon was so far out his mind that she wasn't even a factor anymore. It was just Chanyeol and all the things he made Baekhyun feel.

Chanyeol removed their clothes and treated every inch of Baekhyun's body like a sacred temple, making him feel so loved and wanted in both aspects of the word. It was amazing and he never wanted it too end, so when he felt something shake him, he frowned in confusion and opened his eyes to see Chanyeol slowly fading away.

Baekhyun gasped and cried out for him to stay, and then he felt a sharp pain against his left cheek that had him bolting upright in bed as he panted and gasped.

"What the fuck!?" Baekhyun cried.

"Yeah! That's what I was going to say," Kyungsoo said.

Baekhyun gasped again and jumped away from him in surprise as he cried, "What the . . . What are you doing in my room!?"

"You mean, what are we doing in your room?" Luhan asked from his left. Baekhyun gasped again and jumped when he noticed Luhan laying in bed next to him.

"Shit!" Baekhyun screamed as Kyungsoo and Luhan bursted into laughter. "Seriously! How did you get in here?" Baekhyun demanded.

Luhan shrugged and sat up, jumping onto Baekhyun's lap as he poked his forehead and said, "Some genius left the front door unlocked and . . ." Luhan trailed off as his eyes slowly drifted down.

Baekhyun furrowed his brow and snapped, "What the hell do you think you're looking at, you pervert!"

"You mean, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Luhan muttered before slowly lifting his eyes up to Baekhyun's, his face turning red as he cried, "You little shit! You just had a wet dream and I can feel you poking me!" Luhan practically screamed before shoving Baekhyun away and jumping off the bed before running to the bathroom. "So fucking gross, Byun Baekhyun!" he shouted from the bathroom.

Kyungsoo watched the whole exchange with an open mouth, shocked at Luhan's words for in all the time he's known Baekhyun, nothing like that has ever happened. Kyungsoo didn't look anywhere else but Baekhyun's blushing face as he asked, "So, whom or what were you dreaming about, just now?" Baekhyun's cheeks reddened even more.

"Nothing. No one. Just forget it, okay?" Kyungsoo held up his hands in surrender as Baekhyun sighed before peeking underneath his blanket. He gasped and sighed, "Shit. Mhmm, Luhan!" Baekhyun whined.

"Oh, fuck no! Don't you dare whine my name like that with that!" Luhan cried.

"Then get out of my damn bathroom so I can get rid of this," Baekhyun snapped back.

Luhan opened the door with a huff and said, "Alright, there you go you disgusting bed wetter." Baekhyun glared at him and shoved him before closing himself in the bathroom.

When Baekhyun finished in the bathroom he went back into his room to see his friends had left. He sighed with relief, only to hear them arguing in the living room seconds later. Baekhyun sighed again, just not in relief this time. He shuffled over to his night stand and grabbed his phone, turning it on. When it had finished booting up he noticed with wide eyes that he had close to forty missed messages and calls combined.

"Holy shit," Baekhyun whispered as he opened his notifications and tapped on the messages.

3 missed calls from: Queen TaeTae

23 unread messages from: Queen TaeTae

1 missed call from: Mom

4 unread messages from: BabyDeer

3 unread messages from: Squishy

Baekhyun sighed and tapped on Taeyeon's name in his contacts, knowing if he didn't reply as soon as possible she'd show up.

From: Queen TaeTae
To: B.B.H. Bunny

Hey babe, you okay? Did you get sick? You skipped your classes and you've never done that. I'm worried, please, text me back.

From: Queen TaeTae
To: B.B.H. Bunny

Baekhyun? Please?

Sighing, Baekhyun scrolled down to read the last message Taeyeon had sent him.

From: Queen TaeTae
To: B.B.H. Bunny

Okay, I'll give you some space, but if you haven't respond back in an hour I'm coming over. I mean it. I love you, Baekhyun, and you haven't been talking to me like usual. I'm worried. I promise I won't be mad when or if I come over, depending on when you reply . . . Just know I'm waiting either way for when you're ready to talk. I'd listen to anything you have to say, remember that. *Sighs* Wow, this is a really long message. Anyway . . . Love you!

Baekhyun sighed again and dropped back against his bed. He felt tears prickle his eyes as he weakly whispered, "Why do you have to make this so hard? Why do you have to be so kind? Why do you have to love me so much?" Baekhyun gasped as he let out a hiccuped sob and rolled onto his stomach, burying his face in a pillow as he wept.

As the tears soaked through his pillow case he drifted to sleep once again, unaware when his friends showed Taeyeon to his room where she saw him with dried tears and felt herself breaking.

What are you hiding from me? Please, Baekhyun? Taeyeon thought as she laid down beside him and hugging him around the waist. Why won't you talk to me?

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Author's Notes

Hello, my lovely readers! An update here. I hope you enjoyed it! Please don't forget to vote, comment, and share with your friends!

Well, until next time.... 🌸🌸