LATELY, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CATCH A BREAK FROM the thumping of my heartbeat. It's loud, pompous noise echoes in my ears as I step past the guards. 

"Enjoy the show!" The automated voice cheers as I step through the metal bars. I'd completely forgotten it'd make that sound and it startled me.

My brother lies in the center of the arena on his knees, hovering over Marcus' deceased body. 

I'd be utterly lying if I didn't say every bone in my body wasn't telling me not to go out there. A tribute (or multiple) could come slinging an axe at me and kill my life right here. 

I weigh the options on my shoulders. I could follow through with this and try to talk my brother out of being here and risk him not following--or my life. Or, I could walk back right now and pray that Sejanus will do the right thing. 

I try to soothe myself, blowing out a deep breath and unclenching my sweaty fists. I feel my jaw tense as I try to silence my heels' clanking as much as I possibly can. Or, maybe I want Sejanus to hear me approaching so he won't get startled. 

There's still dust and ruin from the explosion and I can't help but wonder what the cleaning-up process must have been--what finding the president's son was like. My gut wants to cave in on itself just thinking about how scared Felix must have been. Paralyzed in both pain and fear--barely living. 

My heel almost falls in one of the cracks and I feel my entire body tense. 

"Sejanus?" I call out quietly, just a few feet away from him. 

He doesn't have to look back to see that it's me. "I thought they'd send Ma." 

My brows furrow together, an unrecognized anger boiling up inside of me. "You'd want Ma in this arena? Rescuing you?" 

"I don't need to be rescued." He says through gritted teeth, still refusing to look at me. 

I look around, searching to see if someone could possibly be watching--waiting to finish me off--and a chill goes down my spine at just the thought. "You clearly do, Sej. You need a fucking babysitter." 

This angers him. I can see it in the way his jaw works back and forth. "And they sent you for that?"

I swipe my tongue against my bottom lip, preventing myself from saying something I know I'll regret later. "I don't know how to help you. And I don't know how you think being in here, making yourself an open target for a bunch of angry tributes is helping you either." 

"I'm not leaving him." 

I'm seriously now considering walking out of this arena. I'm at a loss for words and am honestly just making a complete fool of myself. 

"Sejanus." Coryo's voice from behind me startles me. Of course they sent him. 

Sejanus finally stands up and turns to face Coriolanus and I. "You need to go, Coryo."

"I'd like to. I really would." He whispers, stepping closer to him. "But I promised to get you out." 

"Why?" he blinks between the both of us, but is really only asking Coriolanus. 

Coryo hesitates. "Because you're my friend." 

"I have to do this." Sejanus says.

There's the sound of a weapon scraping and I jump, looking up to see one of the tributes running her fingers along her axe, readying it to throw at one of us. 

"You need to decide. Right now." 

Every single hair on my body is sticking up and I almost think I'm frozen with fear as I watch the girl above taunt me. 

Coryo is still trying to convince Sejanus when there's another flood of the sound of weapons clashing--right by the entrance and our exit. They're waiting for us. 

"We're dead if we don't leave right now." Coryo says and I can feel myself growing with anticipation as Sejanus thinks his decisions through. 

We're out of time however because there's a yell and before I know it, one of the tributes is running right toward us with a machete. 

Coriolanus grabs my hand and he and Sejanus take off--running as fast as they possibly could to the exit while I struggle to keep up due to both these heels and having significantly shorter legs than the both of them. 

I'm running for my life when I hurdle over the metal bars that allow me access in and out of this place, but Sejanus collapses on the ground with a yell and the kid with the machete is still right behind us. 

Coryo has gone to Sejanus' aid, trying to get him up off the ground but the young boy has already tried swinging the blade at me. 

It almost grazes me, but I'm able to roll back underneath the metal bars just in time. 

I try to get back up but it's barely even five seconds when he goes for me again. I'm backed up into a corner with nowhere to escape to and I'm sure this is it. 

This is where I die. In this damned arena. 

My arms go to shield my head and guard myself but no hit ever comes. 

There's a yell and for a minute I fear he's killed either Coryo or Sejanus. I look up and Coryo now has a mallet. I blink and the next thing I see is the tribute's body collapsing beside mine. 

He's looking directly at me when his head hits the ground, haunting me. 

And then, the mallet takes another hit to his head and his eyes go empty. 

I've just watched him take his last breath. And I was the last thing he saw before death. 

There's another muster of chaos sounding throughout the arena but I don't think twice about it--my eyes are glued to this child-turned-murderer who is dead and it's almost my fault. 

I hear a gasp escape my lips but I don't quite feel it. Coriolanus drops his mallet to the floor beside me and he kneels down, grabbing my hands. 

"Mare, we have to go." He tells me, voice shaky yet soft and quiet and nothing at all like a man who has just killed someone. 

My glassy eyes are still stuck on the dead boy and I can hardly even make out his features due to the tears blurring my vision. "You killed..." 

Coriolanus' cold hands meet my wet cheeks, forcing me to look up at him through tears. My entire body is trembling and I can hardly focus on anything, much less him. "Sweetheart, we have to go." 

BLAKELY SPEAKS !

if everyone reading this goes back and rereads every single
chapter (literally all you have to do is scroll through each)
then i'll give y'all some smut 😋😋 it's a win-win you guys