"Y-You used me?"

Beat.

Pakiramdam ko ay binuhusan ako ng malamig na tubig. Hindi ko malaman ang gagawin ko. It felt like I was caught stealing something.

"G-Grey..." I muttered. Muling bumuka ang bibig ko pero hindi ko malaman kung ano ang dapat kong sabihin. Parang kinukurot ang puso ko dahil sa galit, sakit at gulat na nasa mga mata niya.

"I'm waiting for your explanation, Reign..." he uttered and he really sounded hurt. He looked at Hale and he looked back at me again. "Was it true? Were you really... an undercover?"

Tears filled my eyes. Hindi ako takot na aminin sa kaniya na dati akong undercover. Kundi takot akong aminin na sinaktan ko siya at ang mga kaibigan niya dahil sa pera.

"Reign... please..." pagmamaka awa ni Grey. "I deserve the truth..."

Silence swallowed the whole room. I can't talk. I just... can't.

"I think... you deserve to have the whole room alone," pang aasar ni Hale at nagsimula nang maglakad palabas ng room. Huminto ito sa pinto at ngumisi sa akin. "Tell Grey everything. Deserve niya malaman ang lahat. Stop being a liar and a user. Tsk. Tsk."

Ngumisi itong muli bago tumalikod at tuluyang umalis papalayo.

Nang kami na lang ang naiwan ni Grey sa loob ay nagsimula siyang humakbang papalapit sa akin.

"Tell me everything," he said. "Noong nag-break tayo noon, I knew my mom did something. If she paid you something and you agreed to it, I don't care. Pero... ano iyong sinabi ni Hale na simula pa lang ay ginagamit mo na ako? Were you planning to use and dump me even before my mom paid you something?"

Ang bigat sa pakiramdam. How can I tell him that he got it right all along, that it was my mission to win his heart and break it after?

I need to run. Hindi ko iyon dapat sagutin. He's fine now, he might... burst out again if he ever knows the whole truth. I have seen him at his worst state at hindi ako papayag na masira ko siya ulit emotionally.

Tumalikod at nagsimulang maglakad papalayo.

"Reign, don't leave me hanging, please..." I heard him beg. "I'm ready to hear it no matter how it would hurt me. Reign, please!"

I stopped walking. The sound of his voice was enough to kill me.

"Let me hear the truth so I can finally unlove you..." he added.

That's when I faced him. Pareho na kaming may luha sa mga mata.

"Anong gusto mong malaman?" Mahinahon kong tanong. "I'll tell you everything so you...no, so we... can finally move on."

"Tell me everything from the start," he told me. "Why did you transfer to West Carson High?"

"I came to your school as an undercover..." I hardly said. Parang nahihirapan akong magsalita.

"What was your mission?" He asked back, but his eyes were telling me that he already knew.

"You and your friends," I answered. "It was my mission to know each and every one of you."

"For what?" Tanong niya.

"I was hired by Prosecutor Jaxon Scott. Kinailangan ko kayong kilalanin para malaman niya kung sino ang may motibo sa pagpatay kay Miss Jess."

Sandaling natahimik si Grey. "Oh, okay... Was I part of your mission?"

My mouth partly opened. I knew where we were heading to.

"Reign, hearing everything makes me think that you framed everything up..." he told me. "Part ba ng mission mo to make me fall for you? All those hugs, all those kisses and I love yous that we shared, was it all part of your plan?"

Grey sighed hard. He was close to actually crying.

"I don't know if I'mready to hear your answer..." he said. "Hanggang ngayon, sa tuwing naaalala ko iyong mga pinagsamahan natin, iyong tinginan natin sa klase, iyong holding hands bago umuwi at kapag hina-hug mo ako sa tuwing pagod ako after maglaro ng Soccer, Reign... you have no idea how you curved me into who I am today."

Tears finally escaped his eyes.

"I kept giving other people all the love that I can't give to myself, until you came. You gave me the love that I didn't know I badly needed. So please don't tell me that it was part of your plan...."

"It was part of the plan, Grey..." pag-amin ko. "It was my mission to use you. With or without your mom, masasaktan pa rin kita. Iiwan pa rin kita. I was destined to make and break your heart. I'm really sorry."

"It was part of your mission to make me fall for you, okay, but was it also part of your plan to fall for me?"

I gulped. Gusto kong maiyak.

"Reign, you can fool everyone but not me. Kahit na may instruction kang sinusundan noon, kahit na it was all for money or whatever that was, alam kong alam mo sa sarili mo na minahal mo rin ako..."

"Grey—"

"I know deep within you that all the kisses and hugs that we shared were real," he was hurting so bad and I can see it through  his eyes. "Right?"

Should I really tell him the truth? What if it might hold him back from moving on? I wanted to lie so he can hate me. That would be easier for him.

"Don't even try to lie to me anymore," he then added, as if he was reading my mind. "I deserve the truth."

I closed my eyes hardly and opened it again. "You're right. I was genuine when I kissed and hugged you. Minahal kita nang totoo, Grey, kaya sobrang sakit din sa akin nang kinailangan na kitang iwan. It was never my intention to break your heart. With or without the mission, I knew to myself that I would fall for you. Kaya kung nasaktan kita noon at kung nasaktan din kita ngayon, I'm really sorry. I just... got no other option. I badly needed the money and—"

"Thank you," putol niya sa akin. "Thank you for telling me the truth and thank you for answering my heart even though you were on a mission."

"Weren't you supposed to get mad at me?" Tanong ko sa kaniya.

Umiling siya sa akin. "It was enough for me to know that your feelings were real."

"Grey..." I muttered. How can someone be this considerate and all?

"I'm mad, I need to admit that. I'm hurting, too... and I don't know what to do with all the emotions feeling me up now," he said and smiled weakly. "Reign... I want to cry..."

"Y-You can be mad at me, t-that's fine. Naiintindihan ko, hindi mo kailangang kimkimin ang lahat. Grey... don't punish yourself emotionally. It's all my fault."

Tears fell once again from his eyes. Sobrang sakit na nakikita siyang nasa ganitong kalagayan. It seemed like he was back to zero again.

"I kept telling everyone that I have moved on from you, that I got no feelings for you anymore. Sinabi ko na rin iyon sa 'yo, kasi iyon ang totoo. Pero after seeing you last night with Lyle, after seeing you kissing him like that and after hearing all the truth from you today... I don't know. I feel confused. I... I'm hurting so bad."

Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko o sasabihin. I never wanted to see Grey hurting this way. Mananagot si Hale sa ginawa niya ngayon. He forced me to tell Grey everything when we were both not emotionally ready.

"Y-You said you'll love me before with or without your mission," he said and paused for a while. "I... uh, I kept thinking about it. What about now? You're no longer on a mission, Reign, what do you feel about me now?"

My jaw partly dropped. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.

"Malaya ka na ngayong gawin ang lahat ng gusto mo without any restriction. You... you can love freely without thinking how to end it... Fuck, Reign, I'm sorry..." bigla siyang huminga nang malalim. "My mind is a mess right now, hindi ko na alam kung anong mga pinagsasabi ko, but... I think it's my right to know... what do you feel about me now?"

What do I feel about him now?

Sa tuwing nakikita ko siya, parati kong naaalala iyong mga panahon na masaya kami. Iyong pagsundo at paghatid niya sa akin noon sa school, iyong mini picnic namin kapag break time, iyong pagpisil niya sa mga daliri ko habang magka hawak-kamay kami na naglalakad pauwi.

Iyong mga pasimpleng sulyapan sa classroom, iyong pagtulong niya sa akin sa mga assignments, lahat. He was a good boyfriend that whenever I think about my ideal relationship, it would also be like what we had. He made me feel loved and treasured. He made sure that my youth was really memorable.

Kaya sa tuwing makikita ko siya, may kirot pa rin sa puso ko. Sa tuwing maririnig ko ang boses niya o maaamoy ang pabango niya, may impact pa rin siya sa akin at alam kong sa sarili ko na never na iyong mawawala.

But I don't know if it's still love and I don't know if I have moved on from him already. Alam ko, oo, magulo. Kahit ako, hindi ko rin alam kung ano ba ang nararamdaman ko. All I know is Grey has a special place in my heart, but I don't know if it's worth taking risks again. Ayaw ko na siyang masaktan. Ayaw kong nakikita siyang naghihirap mapasaya lang ako.

He deserved better.

"Grey..." panimula ko. "If... If  I ever tell you what I feel about you now, it might... ruin you again. So I think, it's the best way if... if we let it be unsaid."

"Why?" He asked back. "Is it because you still feel the same?"

Hindi ako kumikibo.

"If you still feel the same why are you holding it back?"

"Mabuti na iyong ganon," I said and my voice broke. My heart was aching badly. "Ayaw kitang masaktan."

"Well, what I saw last night hurt me already, what makes telling me what you feel about me any difference?" He said back. "I kept telling myself that I got no feelings for you anymore, not until I saw someone else kissing you. Magpapakatotoo na ako. Nagselos ako nang sobra, Reign. I used to be your man, and.. I... I wanted to be your man again. God, I don't know what I'm saying but that's what I felt last night."

He met my eyes sincerely.

"I told you I wanna hear the truth, so I'll tell you my fair share of truth."

His eyes became teary again, so did mine,

"I can't fool myself anymore and the Heaven knows how much will I regret it if I won't let you know," he started.  "I loved you before and I love you still, Reign Harriett..."

My lips parted.

Grey gave me a genuine smile.

"It doesn't matter to me now if you don't love me anymore," he said. "Just... let me love you like before..."

Bago pa ako makakibo ay may nagsalita mula sa pinto ng classroom.

"That's great."

Sabay kaming napatingin ni Grey sa nagsalita. It was Lyle.

Humakbang ito papalapit sa amin

"Then, dalawa na tayong nagmamahal sa kaniya." He stopped right beside me.

Lalong bumuka ang bibig ko pero hindi ko malaman kung ano ba ang dapat kong sabihin.

Tumingin sa akin si Lyle. He smiled at me mischievously and confidently, as if he wasn't threatened by Grey at all.

"But I need to give you a quick heads up, Grey," Lyle said and faced Grey. His hands were inside his pockets. "There's something between Reign and I already."

Suddenly, Lyle took my hand and held it lovingly.

"We're dating."

If Grey was shocked, so did I. Nagda-date na ba kami?

"If what you saw last night at the party bothers you that much, let me tell you something. I didn't kiss her, she kissed me. Now, that answers your question on what does she feel about you now."

Grey was taken aback. Tumingin siyang muli sa akin bago tumingin kay Lyle.

"K-Kung nagkakamabutihan na kayo, then... there's no room for me to meddle. I-I'm sorry—"

Lyle scoffed. "You said you love her, so why are you giving up?"

Grey looked at Lyle with questions on his face.

"Nagkakamabutihan pa lang kami, pero hindi pa kami," Lyle added. "If you love her, fight for her. I'm giving you the chance because I see you as good friend. If I were on your shoes, I'd do everything to have her back."

"Why are you doing this?" Grey asked back.

"I know you deserve a chance, but I know I can't just let her go. I know Reign finds me attractive lately, but I know that deep in her heart, she still has feelings for you. Kung pareho natin siyang liligawan, she can evaluate her feelings better. Kung infatuated lang ba siya sa akin lately o baka gusto na niya talaga ako. Or she still loves you, or maybe she was in love with the butterflies that you made her feel, but no longer with you. We can only answer that if she'd give you a chance."

"Aren't you scared?" Grey asked.

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi ni Lyle. "You're an ex and ai'm the present for a reason."

I sighed. Ano ba itong sitwasyon na ito?

"Fight for the love that you think you can't live without, Grey," Lyle said. "But let me tell you this."

Itinaas ni Lyle ang kamay ko na hawak-hawak niya.

"I love my girl so much, it won't be an easy fight for you," he smirked once more. "Sorry in advance."