Chapter Twenty Four

The alcohol burns through my throat as I take a big gulp from the bottle. My eyes gazed onto the stars that twinkled in the sky. It was still the same night and it was a few minutes after the fight I had with Elena.

I lay down on the bleachers in the school's field, the football field empty and dark. The only source of light was coming from the moon and the stars.

I had a bottle of whiskey in my hands and I took a drink every couple of minutes whenever I needed it.

I discarded myself completely from the world, not wanting to deal with anything right now. I know it might be selfish that my friends are out there saving the world while I'm here chilling at school with a bottle.

But at this moment, I didn't give a single fuck.

I'm just going to let everyone do what they want to do and if I don't get involved with it, then it might not involve me.

My phone buzzes to life and starts blaring through the empty dark field. I groan and take my phone out, answering without looking at who my caller is.

"Hello?" I slurred, a hiccup escaping me. "Who the fuck is this?"

"Oh thank god, you're alive." A huge sigh of relief escapes his mouth from the other end.

"Well yeah, I mean I'm answering the phone right now." I tell him, scoffing.

"Emilia, where are you?" Damon asks, sounding concerned.

"In hell." I reply, giggling.

"Emilia, hurry and tell me. There's not much time." he exclaims.

"Ooh, is it raining zombies tonight?" I ask, laughing.

"Emilia, where are you?" he asks loudly, sounding impatient.

"I'm at school. It's really fun." I giggle, "For the first time school is fun and they let me — "

The line went dead and my face fell, pulling the phone from my ear. I looked down at it and frowned, feeling nothing.

So I started laughing like a maniac, my voice blaring throughout the whole world. The whiskey bottle slipped from my fingers and toppled down the bleachers.

"No!! Whiskey!! Don't leave me!!" I exclaim, running down the bleachers bare foot after the bottle. "Please!! I need you!!"

The bottles fall on the grass and rolls down the field with me chasing slowly after it. Almost finally, the bottle stops in the middle of the field and fall on my knees.

"Don't leave me!" I whisper, a sob unintentionally breaking out of me. Tears start slipping past my eyes and I close my eyes, pulling the now empty bottle to my chest.

"I'm so sorry! Please forgive me!" I say, my voice cracking as rippled sobs escape me. "I won't do it again. Please."

I gripped the bottle against my chests so hard that it shatters beneath my hands. The pieces of glass cut through my hand and I hiss in pain. I unclench my hands and look down, staring at the blooding oozing out of the cuts.

My eyes move the the large glass pieces on the grass and I break out sobbing, hurrying to pick up the pieces off the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" I sob, holding the pieces to my chest. "I'm sorry!" I weep, throwing my head back as I clench the pieces to me, not caring how it ripped through my skin.

"Emilia?"

My head snaps to Damon who stands beside me, looking down at me with a concerned look.

"Damon." I whimper, "I broke it." I showed him the glass pieces that were carries by my hand. "I'm sorry I broke it."

"Put the pieces down, Angel, you're hurting yourself." he says softly, sitting on his knees beside me as he slowly takes the pieces from my hand.

I stare at him with tears streaming down my face as he cleans my hands, his eyes brows furrowed. I noticed the worried and scared look he had on his face.

"What's wrong?" I ask, whispering.

Damon sighs and looks up at me, "Klaus is dead."

My heart clenches and I avert my eyes to the grass, gulping. "Oh." was all I said as Damon's thumb grazed my palm softly.

"Alaric's dead too." he continued, his voice low and regretful.

"What?" I ask, my head snapping to look at him. "But that means — " a ripped sob breaks out, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" I sob, shaking my head.

"I'm so sorry." Damon whispers, cupping my face. "I'm so sorry, baby." he says, pulling me to his chest bawl on his chest, my body shaking with sobs.

I couldn't help but realize that the bottle symbolized Elena.

♡ ♡ ♡

I sit on the hospital chairs, my face blank and emotionless as I stare at the wall adjacent. Damon sat beside me as he held my hand, his thumb grazing it softly for comfort.

Every few minutes, I would break out sobbing. But then I'd go back to having a blank face and being completely emotionless.

My heart hurt so much that it could die.

My mind went back to the whiskey bottle and a sob instantly broke out. Damon instantly pulled me to his side and grazed his fingers through my hair, whispering comforting things to me.

The bottle falling off of the bleachers. Elena falling off of the bridge.

Me running after the bottle. Stefan diving in the water.

Me catching the bottle. Stefan carrying Matt out of the water.

The bottle shattering. Elena dying.

All along I was crying because a part of me was taken away. And I don't know how I'm going to be able to live with myself.

"Damon, I can't!" I sob, nuzzling my face in his chest. "I can't do it! It hurts so much!"

"I know, baby, I know." he says softly, pecking my forehead softly.

"I can't handle the pain! I want it to stop!" I snivel, hiccuping as my eyes clench shut.

"I know." he whispers, "Everything will be okay."

"No. It won't." I exclaim, pulling away from him. "It won't be okay! My sister is dead, Damon, and I just wanna die! Kill me, Damon!"

"Emilia, baby, no." he says softly, cupping my face.

"Ok then, I will kill myself!" I sob, standing up and walking away.

Damon clasps my wrist and twists me around, pulling me to him and wrapping his arms around me. "I love you and don't ever think about taking your own life away." he whispers in my ear.

"But it hurts too much." I whisper, pulling back to look at him. "I hate the pain. I want it to stop."

Damon brings his hand up and caresses my cheek, pursing his lips. "You have to live with the pain, Emilia. It will get better."

"No it won't!" I exclaim, pushing at his chest. "Stop saying that Damon!" I sob, my knees giving out and I fall to my knees. "I want it to stop! I want everything to stop!"

Damon falls down on his knees in front of me and he pulls me in his arms. "Take deep breaths." he says softly.

I listen to him and I take multiple deep forced breaths, none of them making me feel better. "It doesn't work Damon." I tell him, looking up at him.

"Just keep doing it, baby." he whispers, smiling sadly at me.

"I need fresh air." I croak, my voice cracking as I slowly stand up on my wobbly feet.

"Okay." Damon says, standing up.

"I want to be alone for a minute." I tell him, pulling my jacket closer to my body.

Damon nods and I turn around, walking and heading over to the hospital's exit. I push the double doors open and I step out, the night breeze blowing against my skin.

I go down the stairs and walk over to the bench in the parking lot. I sit on it and lean back, my gaze falling onto the sparkling stars.

Losing my parents hurt a lot and I felt like it was the end of me. But with Elena, I survived and she helped me to.

Now losing the other half of me hurts a lot and it is the end of me. And without Elena, I'm no body and I need her in my life. I don't think it's possible to live without your twin sister.

Elena might have chose wrong decisions, she might be selfish, she might be rude, she might be too nice, she might be stupid, she might be horrible, she might be weak, and
she might be scared.

But I love her.

I always have and I always will. We have fought over the years so many times. Especially over the subject of her being selfish. But then we always made up and we'd be back to Elena and Emilia, the gilbert sisters.

There's no Elena and Emilia with no Elena.

The pain was too much to handle and it hurt so bad that I just want it to end. I want the pain to stop, I want the torture to stop, I want to stop crying, I want to stop grieving.

Elena does deserve to be cried over and grieved over. But it was too much for me and soon enough I would break if the pain keeps up.

I knew turning my emotions off was a very dangerous option and I'm so close to picking it. But I had to think first.

I had to think about the perks of turning my emotions off. But I didn't. I didn't want to. For once, I want to act without thinking.

It took me like five minutes to comprehend my thoughts and figure out my choice. I thought good and hard, if I should or should not. In the end, it all came to turning my emotions off.

So I turned them off.

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LAST CHAPTER!!!!

I know it's short but it's supposed to be cuz I divided the last episode into two chapter!!

Anyways I can't wait for ya'll to see the goddess that is #ripperemilia !!!

Btw, how'd you like the chapter!

Thank you guys so much for your support throughout this book. I really appreciate it and I really hope you guys enjoy the fourth book! I already wrote and finished the first chapter of it and I can't wait for ya'll to see it.

The first chapter is going to be uploaded in two hours so stay tuned💗

THANK YOU!!!!!

xoxo riley