Chapter Sixteen

"Anybody home?" I yell as I step into the Salvatore House. I hold a take away cup of iced coffee in my hand and a cookie in my other hand.

"Yes, Emilia, I'm home." Stefan walks from around the corner, sighing with a roll of his eyes. "What brings you here at..." he checks his watch, "nine in the morning? Wow, didn't see you as an early bird."

"I didn't sleep at all, actually." I reply, shrugging as I sip my coffee.

"Why not?" Stefan asks, frowning as he follows me into the living room.

"I was too busy thinking about life." I say sarcastically. I snort at the look he gave me, "Joking. I was too busy having sex." His eyes widened and I chuckle, "Joking. Gosh Stefan, you believe so easily."

He rolls his eyes, "Wanna tell me the real reason why you didn't sleep?"

"Okay fine." I huff, "I visited my parents in the cemetery." I answer honestly, looking down at the floor as I fall back on the couch.

"Which ones?" He asks softly, sitting beside me.

"Both." I whisper as I play with my fingers, trying to avert myself from breaking.

"I'm so sorry, Emilia." Stefan whispers, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder.

"Not your fault." I reply, gulping as I look up at Stefan. I meet his eyes but I instantly look away, not liking the way he was looking at me.

Pity.

Gosh I hated that word.

Damon and Rebekah walk down the stairs, catching my attention. My lips part in shock as they converse, Damon shirtless while Rebekah zips up her dress. It's obvious that they had a one night stand.

"Okay," I drag, "When did that happen?" I ask Stefan, pointing my finger at the couple.

I couldn't deny the jealousy and anger I felt inside of me, but I'm trying to get over Damon. And if this is how I get over him, then be it.

"Uh, I'm not so sure myself." Stefan replies, narrowing his eyes at them. I stand up and walk to them while Stefan mumbles, "Oh god, please don't do anything stupid."

"Rebekah." I greet, catching both her and Damon's attention. "Latching onto assholes now, are you?" I ask, crossing my arms with a smirk as Damon gasps, offended.

"Why? Jealous?" Rebekah asks, smirking as she tilts her head.

"Jealous of a rebound?" I scoff, "Haha. No." I add, chuckling humorlessly.

"What?" She asks, confused. She almost looks lost.

I laugh, "You'll get it, sweetheart." I smile sarcastically at her as I open the front door, basically kicking her out.

But instead, my eyes widen when I spot Elena on the porch, her eyes wide and hurt as she looks between Damon and Rebekah.

"Hey Elena," I say, "Don't look so hurt." I add, rolling my eyes.

It hurts knowing Elena knows how much I love Damon, yet she still kisses him. Worst part is she never said sorry and whenever I wanted to talk to her about it, she denied and always said "There's nothing going on between us."

But she's still here, looking hurt because her and Damon had one kiss. How special that makes her feel.

I step back from the front door and walk back into the living room, falling back on the couch as I go back to sipping my iced coffee.

Stefan had disappeared and it was just me in the living room. Moments later, Elena stomps into the living room with Damon behind her.

"Did you stop taking your vervain?" Elena asks, turning to Damon who buttons up his shirt. I roll my eyes and cross my legs onto the table, sipping my coffee.

"You think Rebekah had to compel me?" Damon asks, chuckling humorlessly.

"What's wrong with you? She tried to kill me less than forty eight hours ago." Elena says, surprised.

"Can we just move pass that, Elena?" Damon asks, raising an eyebrow.

"So is that how it's going to be now? I hurt your feelings and this is how you lash out at me?" Elena asks, hurt as Damon pours himself a drink.

"Well, maybe, for once, something I did had nothing to do with you." Damon replies, shrugging as he drinks.

"You should know that Esther is planning on killing her entire family. She's linked them all together with a spell." Elena says, "Whatever happens to one, happens to all of them."

"Well, that's great! Klaus will finally be dead. We win." Damon cheers, "Why do you look like someone just shot a panda bear?"

"Uh, because to kill Klaus she has to kill all of them, including Elijah. And he doesn't deserve this!" Elena responds, sighing.

"I'm supposed to care about Elijah?" Damon asks, scoffing.

"Shouldn't you at least care about Rebekah." My sister fires back, angry. Why? I don't fucking know.

"Two seconds ago, you were pissed that she attacked you. It's a win-win." Damon replies, sighing.

Elena walks to leave but Damon blocks her way. "Don't do anything to screw this up, Elena." He says.

"Why are you doing this?"

"He's right, you know. Klaus has to die. They all do." Stefan says, walking into the living room.

"See? It's democracy in action." Damon says, "Right Emilia?" He turns to me, expecting me to back him up.

I look up at him from my coffee, "Sorry. I was too busy drinking my coffee to listen to your bullshit." I smile sweetly, sarcastically. "What were you saying?"

Damon rolls his eyes and turns to Elena who walks past him and bumps his shoulder, spilling his drink. The front door slams shut and I roll my eyes.

"Well, this just sucks." I sigh, "Throughout this whole thing, no one has ever cared about my feelings." I stand up, "But it's alright, I'm used to being in the dark."

"Emilia - " Damon shakes his head, walking towards me but I stop him by holding out my hand.

"Oh don't pretend to care, Damon." I reply, "All you ever seem to do is hurt my heart. There's not much left of it though." I shrug, "It's completely gone. It was too weak to handle all this pain, and that's why it seems like my heart is an easy target."

I chuckle, "Falling in love with you is my biggest mistake." I whisper, looking at Damon. "You can finally have your happy ending with Elena, Damon, I'm no longer on your back."

I glance at Stefan, seeing pity in his eyes before I walk up to the front door. "Sorry if I was just too much, Damon. Sorry for falling in love with you." I say before I walk out of the front door.

I look down at my iced coffee, "You won't hurt me, right?"

♡ ♡ ♡

"Aren't you go going with Stefan and Damon to save Elena?" Alaric asks through the phone as I fish out my keys from my pocket.

"No, I'm done saving my sister." I reply, "Why save someone who gives zero fucks about you." I add, pushing open the front door as I step inside the motel.

"Hey. Don't say that, Emilia, you know it's not true." He says.

"Why not, Alaric?" I ask, scoffing. "She's whoring around Damon. Worst part is she doesn't know how much that hurts me." I add, "I mean, imagine being in love with the asshole for two years. It's a pain in the ass."

"Do you still love Damon?"

"No, I'm done with that asshole." I reply, taking off my jacket and throwing it on the motel bed.

"Then why does it still hurt you?" Alaric asks as I sit on the motel bed. I stay silent as I repeat his question in my head, analyzing it and trying to find the answer myself.

"You still love him, Emilia." He whispers into the phone.

"Yeah." I whisper, "I am still in love with him after everything he has put me through. I trusted him, Alaric, and I gave him my heart. He promised to protect it...but he killed it. I know that what we had wasn't official, but for once I had felt loved. I felt wanted - needed. I felt important." A tear escapes my eye as I talk to Alaric.

"What else does he want from me, Alaric?" I ask, more tears falling down my face. "He took everything from me. My first kiss, my virginity, my trust, my love, my feelings, and my heart. I've got nothing else to give him." A sob escapes me.

"Thank you, Alaric, for listening to my blabbering. It feels nice to have a friend who actually listens and cares." I say and before he could reply, I end the line.

I throw my phone on the bed and I wipe all my tears. "He's not worth it." I whisper to myself, looking down at my hand.

Suddenly, the door knocks and I stand up. I check my face in the mirror and wipe all my tears away, making sure no sign of me crying is shown.

I walk to the door and pull it open, "Elena?"

Elena smiles softly and I force myself to open the door, letting her in. "What are you doing here?" I ask, turning to her as I cross my arms.

"Can we talk?" She asks, pursing her lips.

"Oh, now you wanna talk." I reply, chuckling humorlessly. "What is that you want to talk about, Elena? You? Damon? The fact that I didn't save you today?"

"Us." She answers and sits down on the edge of the motel bed. "I want to talk about us, Emilia."

"There's nothing to talk about, Elena." I reply, shaking my head.

"Then why are you treating me like this?" She asks, frowning.

"Oh, so this is about how I treat you and not the other way around." I chuckle humorlessly, "You always make it about you, Elena."

"That's not true." Elena replies, shaking her head.

"Do you ever care about my feelings?" I ask, crossing my arms as I patiently wait for her answer.

"Where did that come from? Of course I do." She replies, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Do you care about my feelings because I'm your sister or because you love me?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Emilia, where is this coming from?" She asks, avoiding my question.

"Don't answer my question with another question, Elena." I reply, scoffing.

"Of course I care about your feelings, Emilia. I care about them because you're my sister and because I love you." She answers.

"Really?" I ask and she nods, "Well it doesn't seem like it." I say.

"What do you mean?" She asks, confused.

"You kissed Damon, Elena! You know how much that hurt?" I ask, my voice loud. "You know how much it hurts knowing that the guy you have loved for two years kissed your own sister? You know how much it hurts knowing that your sister never said sorry about that?

You haven't even talked to me about it at all, because you didn't care. You didn't care that you hurt me and you didn't care that I was suffering. It's always you, Elena. It will always be you.

And I will always be the shadow and in the dark where no one cares about me, even my own sister. Where no one cares about my feelings! I was human once too, you know!" I yell, tears streaming down my face.

"I once had a life. I once was happy before mom and dad died. I once lived before I was bitten. I know that I'm a werecoyote now, but I still have feelings." I say calmly, silently sobbing.

"It just seems that whoever I am - human or not - no one will ever love me. Everybody always says I love you but they never really mean it. I just want mom and dad back. I want Jeremy back. I want you back. I just want my family back. I want to be back to normal. Back before when none of this vampire thing happened."

I sit down on the edge of bed and gaze down at the floor. "I just want to feel loved. I'm sorry if it's too much to ask for." I whisper, pursing my lips.

"Emilia, you are loved." Elena says, sighing as she sits down beside me on the bed. "Caroline loves you. Bonnie loves you. Matt, Tyler, Alaric, Jenna, Jeremy, John, Isobel, Mom, Dad, and they all love you. I love you."

"You can't just expect to be loved and not hurt, Emilia. They come together. But in the end, love always wins. I don't know how but it always finds a way." She says softly, placing her hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I don't show my love enough but I really do love you, Emilia. It's just through everything that's happening now, there's no time to sit down and relax and love the people you love. But you can love them by saving them and protecting them." She says, smiling softly at me.

"I love you, Emilia. I love you so much." She whispers, "And whatever happens, I will always love you."

I smile and nod, fresh tears slipping down my cheeks as I pull Elena into an embrace. "I love you more, Elena." I smile through my tears as I hug her.

This is all I've ever wanted.

To feel loved.

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