Since romance is a huge genre full of clichés and I always get people asking for more, more, more, here you go: Twists on Classic, Cliché Romance Moments

1. Making dinner/food fights

I’ve already talked about how food fights are just a mess and not fun, but they appear in every romance story anyway. So does the cliché where one of them makes dinner for the other, and I’ll admit, my best friend and I make each other dinner all the time. But you know what’s so fun about it? It never goes right, and it’s those embarrassing, hilarious moments that make me love it the most.

So for your twists, I’ll just tell you about some of our failures:

Once we were cooking dinner together when he left a cabinet open behind me and I turned around and ran into it at a high speed with the most fantastic crash you’ve ever heard. Yeah it hurt, but it’s true: it’s only funny until someone gets hurt, then it’s hilarious. There is nothing sexy about bashing your head into a cabinet door, but there’s something sweet about being able to laugh at yourself with someone. Make your character embarrass themselves. Laugh it off. It’s okay.

I’ve watched him burn the hell out of his hand and cut his fingers on accident. I’ve cut my hands more than I can count (no one should give us knives, because we have no self-control). Both our dogs are very into cooking (and by that, I mean they stand around waiting for handouts) and it always becomes a contest to see someone catch food in their mouth (person or dog, we don’t discriminate). So that’s always fun.

Another thing, if you’re short, you understand that cooking is literally a workout. You’d think, being over 6’1”, he’d help someone almost a foot shorter than him out, but no. My best friend gets a kick out of watching me be crafty. You don’t understand how many times I’ve had to climb the refrigerator and it never gets easier. I’ve never fallen off, but do you know how easy it would be? I’d like to see that.

Also, my brother and I used to do food experiments when we were in high school. And by food experiments, we mixed things together in weird combinations that actually sort of turned out good. But we had a lot of bad ones too. And I’m really, really bad about undercooking things (I don’t know why. You’d think I’d burn them, but no. I don’t burn things, I undercook them). For once, I’d like to see someone that doesn’t have a perfect meal. Let your characters screw up or concoct something less than delicious. It would be a nice change of pace.

2. Stressed out cuddle sessions

It always happens. The MC gets stressed out and the love interest makes it all better while cuddling with her, eating ice creaming, and watching chic-flics. Seen it, don’t want to read it anymore (because I’m not a fan of cuddling, really). Also, they act really pissy, and my best friend doesn’t go for pissy. After a few hours his response is always “I’m getting sick of your bullshit attitude”. Every. Single. Time. Build a bridge and get over it. Stress happens.

I'm not much of a cuddler. I'm just not. I like my personal space. It's nice every now and again (and I'm always up for cuddling with my big dog, but I dislike people.)

When I’m stressed out I like to work out. That’s my thing. For once, I’d like to see someone de-stress their character by something other than cuddling. Like, maybe the go for a hike, or a take their dog to the park, or take go for a drive. There are so many things you can do when you aren’t just laying around feeling sorry for yourself. Try that out (for your characters. Or yourself. I don’t care.)

3. Seeing her in dress/new makeover and she’s stunning

Maybe it’s just because I’ve known my best friend forever and we’re always around, so we’ve seen each other dressed up and dressed down, but this scene creeps me out. I don’t like being told when I look nice. I just don’t.

Once, a guy told me I looked stunning and typical me had to say “as usual” instead of thank you. I’m a mess. But my favorite are kind of backhanded compliments (that aren’t actually as mean as they sound).

For example, I got elected to be a homecoming representative three years in high school (I was involved in a lot of activities, I tell ya) and the compliments from the athletes were always my favorite. Like “Whoa, I didn’t know you had boobs.” Or “Too bad you never do your hair; it looks nice.” Or. “Oh, I guess you always kind of sparkle. I always thought it was sweat.”

They meant well, but as 16, 17, 18 year-olds, it’s really awkward to say the cheesy “you look beautiful.” And those compliments honestly meant more to me than all the teachers saying “Addy, you look great”. I know. I didn’t spend hours getting ready to look less than okay. Thanks.

I want to see those typical, teenage boy backhanded compliments. They’re funny and fun and not at all uncomfortable.

4. The virgin turned sex goddess

I don’t know about you, but I get tired of the perfect romance. I really do. I’m telling you my favorite moments are when you hit a wall and can do nothing but laugh.

Sex is awkward. It really, truly is. It cracks me up when I read these really steamy scenes that are so perfect. I dunno, I just get tired of how great the candles and flower petals are. Seriously, if you’re in high school, aren’t you worried your parents/siblings/someone is going to come home and catch you (and they never get caught. That’s horrifying, but it happens and I’d like to read about it, please).

Cars aren’t better. Maybe you might not get caught by parents, but belt buckles hurt, there is very poor air circulation, very little room, and slamming your head into a window isn’t the most fun you’ve ever had. I wouldn’t mind these scenes if people didn’t try to make them hardcore with the “yes, fuck me” dialogue.

I’m a sucker for laughing. Embarrassing things happen and it’s cool to laugh them off. Please, please, please remember this. If you’re a virgin, sex is so awkward. So, so awkward, but everyone just wants it to be perfect. It’s not, but reading about something that is funny and relatable would be. So less, “take me now” and more “ow my hair” for me, please.

To me, it’s better to laugh than be totally serious. Laughing has more passion.

5. The waitress scene

There is always a scene where the waitress is flirting with the love interest, but he only has eyes for the MC. Bored.

Honestly, I’ve been waiting tables for years and years and years and I’ll be honest, I do casually (innocently) flirt with people for tips. You have to when you don’t make minimum wage and rely on those tips.

But in my many, many years of waitressing, I’ve learned that if it’s a couple, you cater to what the woman wants. If she sees that you don’t pay much attention to her man, but instead, you kind of team up with her, you get a better tip. It’s a science. Try it sometime (and by that, I mean in your writing. Make the waitress about girl power!)

6. The jealous ex

I don’t really have exes (I seriously dated one guy, and the rest were just really, really good close, boyfriends. Not really dating. I dunno. It’s hard to explain). But I’m still on good terms with all of them. All of them. Even the one that was shit to me.

SarahTheSenpai brought this up in another chapter. It’s okay to be friends with your exes. You don’t have to hate people because you want to be a brat. I’d like to see characters that are still on good terms with their exes. It doesn’t have to add drama. It can just be a cool dimension. Sometimes relationships just don’t work and it’s no one’s fault. Maybe write about that?

7. Fun date ideas 

Okay, this one I wanted to throw out there, because it seems like there are only two dates in romance stories: 1. Carnival/Fair with all the fun rides and games and candy and 2. Some dance with pretty dressed and hand holding.

And those are great, but they get old. So here are some different date ideas that you can maybe write about:

-Charity work: volunteering at an animal shelter, reconstruction projects, charity runs, habitat for humanity, food banks, etc.

-An outdoor adventure: camping, hiking, biking, horseback riding, canoeing. Something outdoors where nature is bound to fuck everything up!

-A sporting event.

-A museum or the zoo. Some people think these are boring, but my best friend and I are history buffs. I love museums. However, I hate the zoo. I don’t like animals being penned up. Plus, my house has become an animal sanctuary since my best friend isn’t around to tell me no and I have no self-control.

-Games! Bowling, board games, mini golf.

-Shopping (I don’t do retail therapy, I do window shopping). Go to a tourist town (I work in one). The lights and shops are great and diverse. There’s so much to see and do.

Seriously. Something other than a carnival. Do you want me to elaborate? This is getting lengthy, but maybe in another chapter I’ll give you in-depth ideas for dates. Do you want that? Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know?

Me neither.

Anyway, what do you think? Anything to add, subtract, say? I’d love to hear it!