Wait, what? I updated two weeks in a row? Someone should give me a sticker or something.

I feel like everyone knew this rant was coming, because we've touched on it a lot in other rants (and because I keep getting requests for it), so let's talk about that female character that has become incredibly popular: Tomboys

Y'all know what I'm about to say. I was (and probably still am, though am I too old for that? Who knows) considered a tomboy growing up. I couldn't help it. I lived with my dad. I had an older brother and a guy for a best friend who had two brothers. I grew up on a football field half a year and a basketball court the other half. Hell, I stayed the weekend with my dad just so we could watch the Superbowl together, because even though neither of us cared who won, we've watched the Superbowl together since I was born. It's tradition. We love sports.

It's always been a running joke for as long as I can remember that I'm the son my dad never had (even though he had a son (my older brother)).

But this tomboy is becoming a problem, because lately I see theme everywhere and they're kind of a limiting character type. Why? Because they give in too much to stereotypes. In order to have a tomboy you have to have a female that takes interest in classically "male" things. But, wait. Why should we stereotype things by boy and girl interest?

Who gets to decide what kinds of things are for boys and what kinds of things are for girls? Girls can like sports. Boys can like fashion. Girls can like sciences and maths. Boys can like literacy and arts. Everyone bitches about stereotyping genders and whatnot, but how come no one ever says anything when it comes to tomboys and girly girls? You have to, by definition, stereotype boy things and girl things to decide whether or not your character is a tomboy, right?

And they always say stupid shit like "I'm not like other girls". Of course not. All girls aren't supposed to be alike. All boys aren't supposed to be alike. People aren't supposed to be alike. That's the beauty of it all. So, before I take this rant in a seriously ranty direction, let's jump in to the main points I have on tomboys.

1. Typical appearance/dress

So the tomboy never wears skirts, dresses, heels, etc. They stick to (skinny these days, in my day, it was baggy) jeans or sweats, t-shirts, and sneakers (usually Converse). In my day, wearing tank tops was a big deal, and I still see that occasionally because they usually are thought of as a more masculine concept (suns out guns out, right?) Always. They also always have their hair up in a ponytail or braid. That or they have super short haircuts. They're also usually on the tiny side, because it highlights their feistiness.

And I hate to admit it, but you just got an insanely accurate picture of me throughout all of high school and middle school. Although, in high school I did start wearing my hair down. And to be fair, I usually wore t-shirts and loose jeans because I worked out in the mornings and afternoons and I didn't have time to (nor did I feel like) dressing nicely.

But I don't know why they have to have this typical appearance? What's the point? They never wear makeup (except some foundation and mascara and eye liner (which, in my book is wearing makeup and it irritates me when I see that. That's legitimately full face (or was in my day. We didn't even have primer back then, okay? Shut up))). "Tomboys" should be able to care about their appearance. Even if they like guy stuff, why can't they care how they look?

So they wanna wear a nice shirt? Guys wanna wear nice shirts. Girls can wear makeup and not have to be considered a full on girly-girl. They should be able to do really cool hairstyles without it being an effort to make them more masculine. Didn't I even tell you guys that my best friend (a guy in case you haven't picked up on that in the last 100+ chapters...) used to braid my hair for me? True story.

I don't get it. Why does there have to be one, specific, set style? Step outside the box. I'm tired of all these same looking girls that "aren't like other girls". Get over it. Not every girl wears heels to high school, so wearing sneakers doesn't make you special.

2. Good at "boy" stuff

You can always pick out the tomboy because she knows cars and sports. As a girl with an overwhelming male presence in my life, I can confidently say I know nothing about cars. I can change a tire. I can change the oil if I absolutely have to. Anything else, nope. I seriously just call my dad or something. So boom. Did y'all just see me disprove that theory that tomboys know all the guy stuff? (Also, why are cars such a guy thing? I wish I knew more about cars, but sadly I don't. I need to start studying up. I love to learn).

Sport. Okay, yeah, I know sports. But as I've said countless times, my dad is a coach. I was an athlete in school. But does it bother anyone else when it's one of those scenes when she joins like a football or baseball team or something, just to show the guys she's better than them and she's not actually an athlete, she just watches the sport a lot. It wouldn't bother me so much if she, I dunno, actually practiced with friends or something beforehand or at least had prior experience. But I can't tell you how many times I've seen a scene where the girl is a walk on on a team after only having watched. I can't stand that. If you guys don't know how I feel about that by now, get outta here.

Also, just a side note that's going to get me in a loooooot of trouble. The tomboy, as we noted, is usually pretty small. She's probably not going to be a very good football player if this is the case (and she doesn't workout religiously). You might argue quarterback, but you gotta be able to see your receivers down the field and if you're 5'0", you're probably not gonna be able to see over your 6'2" linemen to find your man. And tackling you is going to be incredibly easy unless you're fast.

That was the one reason why I never actually got to be part of the action during football practice: those guys seriously would've broken me. I'm not saying this would be true for every girl, because I see stories every now and again about female quarterbacks in high school and I think that's amazing. But I need you to know, that takes A LOT of work, and she's probably not going to be tiny. She's gotta be taller and she's gotta work out constantly.

Basketball you could get by with more. I got to help out with guy's basketball practice, because it's less contact (as in, you're not supposed to just pick up little bitty Addy and throw her to the ground). But I did get a couple of sprained ankles and a cracked thumb from helping with basketball. And everyone thought it was delightful that I always ended up doing man-to-man on my best friend who was the tallest guy on the team and about half an inch shy of being a foot taller than me at the time. That was fun. But why did I get to help? I played basketball. I had practiced. I did the same workouts as the basketball players. Boom.

Moral of the story: sports don't have to be guy things. And girls probably won't be able to be walk ons to a male sports team unless they practice and train very hard.

But something we never mention, that I wanna mention is that no one acknowledges that math and science are typically thought of as "guy" things. So I wanna see more women characters who are into STEM stuff. There is a desperate, desperate need for women in the STEM field, but I always see these females as being more into the arts like English or music. And there's nothing wrong with that. But I wanna see some female characters that are good at math and science! I would love that.

3. Arrogance

Have you ever noticed that tomboys are super arrogant? I just hate that, because literally the only thing they ever brag about is how good they are at doing guy things. Like, I've yet to see one with a legitimate reason to brag (that isn't just outlandish, unbelievable, and basically impossible).

Usually, they brag about two things: how manly they are and how many men they've bedded.

Have you ever noticed that most of these tomboys are "sluts"? And that's kind of the thing that makes them a tomboy—they are open about their sexual activities? That tends to annoy me, because let's be honest. You know how I feel about it. Sex is sex. There's not really a huge reason to brag (but maybe that's because when I grew up everyone lied about being a virgin and we came to a mass agreement in eighth grade that oral sex doesn't count as real sex (like, we took a vote at lunch one day)).

Who gives a shit how many people you sleep with? If it's consensual, does it matter? No. Not really. So if we could go easy on the "slut" thing, that would be cool. So what if she has sex? So what if she's a virgin? News flash. No one cares.

And like I said, they brag about how good they are at guy things. Like, everyone says athletes are super cocky, and that's why tomboys have to be cocky, because they're typically athletes. But here's the deal, in my entire twenty-something years of experience with athletes the good ones are cocky. The great ones are humble.

Like, y'all realize I was ranked in the top three in the state of two different sports for three years of high school, right? And my best friend was state ranked in the top three in three sports and nationally ranked (number two, I think) in one for four years? Probably not, because it's not something I consistently brag about. Partially because that was a while ago, but mostly because, I knew I was good. I was good enough to know that everyone else didn't have to know. I wish more of these tomboys were like that.

So they're smart. That's great. But I don't have to hear about how they're number one in their class. Mostly because I don't care to be told that. I'd rather see their knowledge in action.

4. Clean up nice

This is the absolute favorite cliché that seems to end up in every single tomboy story. There's always a moment when there's like a dance or something and she ends up having to get girlified. Like, she does the hair, the makeup, the dress, the shoes, the whole nine yards. Then everyone notices they have amazing cheek bones and gorgeous eyes and a perfect ass and gigantic boobs and everyone is super impressed.

And in a way, I understand this one more than the others. I got voted to be a homecoming representative every year of high school and had to do the whole dress-up thing and be part of the homecoming court or whatever and I did go to prom three years in a row (mostly for the after parties, because later curfew those nights and plenty of alcohol, shame).

And every year I got comments about it, but not in the typical, "Oh my gosh, you're the most beautiful girl ever." They were almost like backhanded compliments. Think more like, "Whoa. It kinda looks like you have boobs". "Your sweat and glitter look the same". "Addy's man-calves actually look smaller in heels". (Yes, they called me man-calves because I have the legs of a runner and all the guys just thought it was the cutest nickname (can you hear me rolling my eyes?)) "Holy shit, you're tiny. Like, it looks like you lost a ton of weight when you wear stuff that actually fits". "It looks less like you wanna kill me and more like you just hate the world" (because I have the worst resting bitch face ever, y'all. It's seriously so bad).

And one of my favorite things was that my best friend would always treat me more politely. Like, he's always nice to me, but when I'd get dressed up he wouldn't punch me in the arm or mess with my hair or anything. And I'd tease him about it and he'd just grin at me.

So I get it, but at the same time, I wish it was more of comic relief than some big dramatic moment. Like, to me, having people comment that I almost had boobs was more in character than them saying "you're stunning." And I like backhanded compliments. Those are always way more fun (and surprisingly meaningful.

Also, just a kind of side story that goes with this, I always wore t-shirts, but on the very rare occasion that I'd wear a v-neck I always got a ton of comments. Mostly just "v-neck!" But sometimes you'd have that special person that's just a little slower than all the rest and doesn't understand subtleties that would yell "boobs!" Good grief.

So there's your rant. Hope you enjoyed. If you did, leave a comment. If you didn't, leave a comment. If you have anything to add, leave a comment. If you have a tomboy character, leave a comment! What do you think? Are you considered a tomboy? Or maybe a girly-girl? Or maybe you don't want to be either. Anything at all you wanna say, say it in the comments!

And for my funny story...ummm...lemme think of something.

Oh, okay. So, when I was young, I just hung out with my brother and my best friend and his brothers. So all guys. And that's why he calls me "girl", sometimes. Because I was the only girl. But anyway, so my best friend is very much the middle child, no matter how you look at it. The age order went his older brother, my old brother, him, me, his younger brother. So, he's very much the middle one. And we didn't usually get to hang out with his brothers as much, so a lot of times it was just my brother, him, me (which is why he sometimes calls me baby, because I am the baby (I'm also my dad's baby and at all the coaches would say that when I got to help at practice, "Don't break the baby!")).

But despite him being very much the middle child, he was always the instigator of things. Like, he was the ring leader of our little gang and I just think that is so funny. Like, he could get his older brother and my older brother to do anything. And obviously I was game for anything he wanted to do because I just like hanging out with him. And when we'd do something we shouldn't have, he was always the one to threaten everyone not to tell our parents. I just like that he was the leader of our gang. We were such fun little kids.