I keep getting tagged to do that "write my life" thing or whatever, but trust me, y'all don't want to read that. So, I'm not ignoring them. I just don't really wanna do it.

Instead, I've been putting this rant off for a while, because I just couldn't find the right way to discuss it, but then I had a thought: we spend too much time making sex a taboo. The whole world does and it's getting to be ridiculous. I think that's why it's such a big deal to teenagers and why it's such a big issue in teen fiction and romance and such: it's forbidden.

And I get it. Trust me, I get it. When I went to high school, it was during the time when there was just starting to be a debate about whether oral sex among other things was considered actual "sex" (because in my day, intercourse meant "going all the way" (look how many euphemisms we have. It's crazy)). Seriously.

And I'm not going to blame society when I say that for a long time, I did base part of my self-worth on whom I was or wasn't sleeping with.

So, let's be mature and do this rant on a very popular character on Wattpad these days: Players

1. There is nothing wrong with sex

When we write about how awful these sluts and players are, we're giving sex a bad name. It sounds like some horrific, damning thing, but it's not. It's literally pretty much exercise for the purpose of procreation (or practicing for procreation if that's what you want).

So stop it. Just because you like to have sex does not mean you're a bad person. Just because you don't does not mean you're a prude. If you don't for religious purposes, great. If you don't for personal preferences, great. If you do for whatever reason, great!

Personal choices shouldn't be options for judgement unless they begin to affect other people.

I wanna read a story where casual intercourse isn't a conflict, it's just another scene.

2. It takes two

I really, really hate the excuse that the guy is a player because he takes advantage of all the girls he sleeps with. I'm telling you this right now, it takes at least two people to have consensual intercourse (I have to use euphemisms, because this chapter will get set at private if I don't. Sorry). It really does. Otherwise, he's not a player, he's a r*pist and I don't want to talk about that.

It annoys me that it's never the girl's fault. I, for one, find it insulting that some writers think that as a female, I cannot resist the come-ons of a "good looking" guy. I can, actually. And if I want to sleep with someone, that's my choice.

Sure, I'm allowed to regret it and wish I hadn't, but it's not right that the guy gets all the shit for "taking advantage" of someone. No, it takes two people to have sex. It takes one person and an unwilling candidate to make something else. Are we clear? That's pretty clear.

So, I want to read a story where the guys aren't blamed for everything. I want it to be acknowledged that if the girl dislikes him because they slept together, it's because she has her own regrets, not because he's a villain. Good idea? Good idea.

3. There is a lot of misinformation

I think we spend too much time in our novels shaming the "sluts" and picking on the "players" and it makes sex seem horrible. Then, when the MC finally bags the player and he becomes faithful, it's this wonderful, magical, mind blowing experience, but damn. We never actually talk about it.

So let me give you some little, vague facts that might help get to my point: not every time is going to be a winner, bigger isn't always better, and weird things happen you have to learn to laugh off. And the biggest one of all: communication is key.

That's something that happens in real life all too often, too. Guys are shamed if they don't know what they want and girls are shamed if they talk about what they want. That's not right. Seriously. The best part is communicating. But we just always ignore this. I don't get it. At all.

I think I've shared my theory before that the player stories are so big, because they give an escape for intimacy to be flawless (practice makes perfect, right?), but that's so wrong. It's different with everyone you're with and if it's not, you seriously need to reconsider what you're doing, because it's doubtful everyone leaves satisfied.

That's what so great about intimacy: it can be great out of context, but in a personalized setting, it's fan-fuckin-tastic (see what I did there? I made a pun, sorta. Give me this one. I've been so good at being mature).

We spend too much time making the MC think sleeping with someone is horrible until they do it. Then their inner goddess is awakened and they are pros (I got that inner goddess from a book I've never read, but it made me laugh. And if you have read it, well, kudos to you?) But let's be honest, it's probably going to be horrible the first time you do it. And the next. And the next and the next and the next if you never communicate. They never communicate.

Besides, I think if we were more open about the realities of sleeping with someone it would really cut back on all the risks like teen pregnancy, STIs, other diseases, the psychological impact, and all the little bits along the way. But, that's just my thoughts. I'd kind of like to see someone be open with the characters and the audience.

So what do I want? I want awkward conversations. I want dissatisfied characters. I want anything that isn't perfect and dreamy. I was funny, and embarrassing, and awkward, and just downright entertaining. Try that.

4. Having multiple partners doesn't mean you don't care about any of them

This part has always bothered me. This goes along with giving sex a bad name, because not everyone that sleeps around has zero respect for other beings.

Once, my best friend's dad came home really, really, really early and caught my best friend and me fooling around (which also never happens in stories, but is horrifying in real life). And this was before we were even a private thing, let alone a public thing, so his dad was surprised, but he told us to get ourselves together and come downstairs to "talk".

And the two things I remember most from that night are:

a. Being terrified that we were in so much trouble (even though his dad seriously did not give a damn what we did 99.9% of the time) and as we were walking down the stairs my best friend just very casually saying "If you're that worried, just start crying. He won't know what to do and you'll get to just go home." (And I remember this, because I was pretty sure he was going to tell my dad and I was going to be deader than dead when I got home. But my best friend's dad was so cool. He was a horrible parent, but a great friend!)

And the thing that still bother me

b. Sitting on the couch and listening to his dad give a speech that went "I don't care what you guys do, but I'm going to warn you right now. If you keep this up, one of you is going to get hurt. And we all know it's not going to be him."

And that pissed me off so much. I remember thinking how unfair it was that just because my best friend slept around more than I did, it automatically meant he wasn't allowed to have any stake in our relationship. Obviously, he didn't care about me, right? I was just another girl.

That couldn't have been farther from the truth. Granted, every situation is unique. He outright admitted to sleeping around. I, was sweet and innocent as far as everyone knew, but it shouldn't have mattered. Just because you casually sleep with more than one consenting partner, does not mean you couldn't care less about them. You're allowed to still be friends. You're allowed to have a relationship outside of sleeping together if you want. There's nothing wrong with that.

Not gonna lie, I want to see more "friends with benefits" type things. If you're going to write players, not every girl that has been with the guy is going to hate him just because he moved on. Girls can want a casual get together too. It's okay.

I just want people to stop blaming the guys so much. I want to see more females take charge and responsibility. I want girls to be less ashamed for having sex with a guy they didn't date, or broke up with.

I want sex to stop being this huge obstacle in stories.

And that's my rant that I put off forever. I tried. I probably failed. But it's a start. What do you guys think? Anything to add/comment on? I'd love to hear it!