Y'all, my best friend just finished his fifteenth marathon and I could not be more proud of him. Especially since he wasn't even sure if he was going to be back in time for it and had a two week job so he didn't get to workout (or call me, not that I'm bitter about that). But he still killed it.

Except I was thinking about it, and I'm starting to wonder if this is an elaborate joke. Like, he probably just sits in some peaceful country behind a desk doing some office job. That sounds like something he would totally do. I keep waiting for him to randomly call and say "gotcha. I just file paperwork." I would be pissed.

But that's neither here nor there. We have some ranting to do, so let's do it to it.

Today, let's talk about Overused Plot Twists

Because as much as I love a good plot twist, a lot of them get repeated over and over. Which is fine, except anymore, a lot of them aren't necessarily well done and that just makes them so boring. And I think it's due to the fact that they're so overused that there's a certain formula that people are following now. So let's see what kind of advice I can come up with (says the girl that can predict 98% of every story/movie and yet she still enjoys them because surprise isn't a necessity for enjoyment).

1. It was all a dream/made up

This one I have an insanely hard time getting on board with, because it honestly makes me feel like I wasted a bunch of time. I don't know why, it just does. Maybe I haven't read the right book with this twist, but I honestly feel like this one is a cop-out. Like a lot of people use it when they want some weird sci-fi, fantasy twisted shit, but they don't want to have a logical explanation for any of it (which to me, is imperative in world building and the likes).

So my suggestion for this one: don't do it! Or if you do, don't end it with "it was all a dream" and "and then she woke up". I would love to see the dream thing be a plot twist in the middle, not the end. Like, the dream ends up making sense in the later portion of the story and wasn't just some crazy, pointless adventure. That would be cool. I feel like there might actually be some big ones like that, but I can't think of any right now. Leave it in the comments if you know of one (or even if you just know what I'm talking about, because I feel like that doesn't make sense).

2. The fake death

This one always annoys me, because I have a huge love/hate relationship with killing characters off. Like, I love it when it gets me overly emotional and breaks my heart and makes me feel something, but I hate it at the same time, because it's usually my favorite characters. And I know death is this insanely final thing, which I think is a lot of the reason why writers often backtrack on their decision and decide to resurrect characters (especially ones they (and their readers) love). But, to me, this cheapens the death.

When death is included in the story, I feel like it adds another element into the progression. And bringing that character back ruins all that beautiful work. I remember when my grandmother, who I was extremely close with, passed away. And when my brother texted me and told me (yeah, we're terrible people), I didn't cry. I didn't really feel anything. Like, I was kind of numb.

I went about my day. I finished up all the things I was working on. I put my affairs in order for the end of the week (it was a late, late Tuesday night) so I could take off work and get out of classes (I was in college at the time).

I made the long ass drive back to my dads. Got there on Thursday night. I talked to him about it. We talked about her last days. We talked about all the work we were going to have to do to get rid of the house and her stuff, divide up all the shit between his siblings, all the paperwork. All the bank account shit and CDs and tax stuff. We just talked business. And I still didn't cry.

Then, Friday morning, I went with him over to her house to start getting some stuff in order, and the second we opened the door and I smelled the old cigarette smoke, it all just hit me.

I was never going to hear her voice again. I wasn't going to get to sit on her couch and cry to her about all my problems. She wasn't going to see me graduate college. She wasn't going to see me get married. If I ever had kids, they would never know her. I was going to forget the sound of her laugh. I was going to forget what it felt like to hug her. I was never going to get to ask her what my grandpa was like (she always said she'd tell me when I got older). I was never going to get to bake with her again. I would never get to make her dinner again. I'd never get to go for walk with her anymore. I wasn't going to get to dig in her purse for Juicy Fruit (you know, the gum) anymore. That was it.

And everything was so final. Like, I never got to show her the pictures from all the travelling I'd been doing around that time. I never got to tell her about my classes or my job. I never got to explain my relationship with my best friend to her. I never got to even tell her good-bye. I was away at my apartment in the city. And I'd never get to do any of those things. It all just felt so final and I couldn't handle it.

I walked outside and I couldn't go back in. I stood in her driveway and talked to my aunt and uncle. I stood in her driveway and talked to the neighbors that came over to give their condolences. I stood in her driveway and set up meetings with the funeral home, the insurance company, the realtor. I did everything in that same driveway where I spent hours and hours of my life playing, because I couldn't go back in that house. I couldn't face all that, because it was way too final. I couldn't change anything. She was going to be gone forever and I couldn't do anything to bring her back.

And I think that's the problem I think a lot of writers run into (trust me, I face it too). We get so emotionally attached to our characters that we can't just let them die. Like, we plan out these great, emotional deaths that really change the story, but then we can't just let sleeping dogs lie. We have to bring that character back, because we got too attached to them, but that ruins everything the death achieved.

Honestly, I think it's best to just let it be. Obviously, if the resurrection is crucial to the plot, by all means, do it. But if the character comes back just because you can't stand to kill your babies, then forget about it. That's what makes death the scariest thing you can imagine: it's the most final thing that ever happens.

3. It's the dude absolutely no one expected

I get the appeal of this one, but anymore, it's one of those that has a formula that has kind of ruined the magic of it. Anymore, I think we spend so much time setting up the whole "oh, there's 100,000% chance that it can't be this dude" and we spend so much time focusing on that dude that it becomes obvious to the readers (even if it is just subconsciously) that he's the guilty dude (or dudette. Whatever).

Honestly, this is the best suggestion I can come up with: don't spend as much trying to prove someone's innocence as you do of simply describing evidence. To me, that's what's most successful. When authors try to jump in and start directing the reader in who is a suspect, who's innocent, and who's guilty, that's when it all become obvious. The best mystery stories I've read are the ones that pay painstaking attention to details. They're the ones that have the most unbiased representation of all parties involved, and they let the readers decide who they think is innocent and who is guilty based on the details. They don't put their hand in the pile until the reveal is necessary. And that's what works the best.

So my advice: focus on the detail, not of the "guilty"/"innocent" aspect. Let the readers unravel how they will, as you control the setup and the downfall. Does that make sense? That probably doesn't make sense.

4. The "dark secret"

This one is really popular, and they're the same "dark" secrets. Like, "I was abused as a kid". "I have a mental illness". "I have a dead parent/s". "I'm secretly sick and dying". Yadda yadda yadda. Y'all know how I feel about those by now. If you don't, pick any other chapter in this rant, and I'm sure I probably mention my feelings about them there (I'm exaggerating, but you get the point).

As you all know, I don't like when people use serious things as a minor tragedy for attention/drama. Then they tie everything up neatly a chapter after the problem presents itself. Blah blah blah.

But, my suggestion for using these is: make sure you focus on setting up the secret, so that whenever it comes out, readers can still be shocked, but if they reread, all the clues were there. No, you don't have to be super obvious about it. And no, you don't have to give every single clue in the world to suggest the dark secret. But there should be enough of a setup that it's not out of left field and it can't be cleaned up in a chapter. That's all I'll say about that, because I feel like we're just trying to beat a dead horse from a new angle here.

And that's it. That's my list.

Do I have a funny story for you? I have a cute one about my grandma I was talking about. We all called her nana and she was the most kick ass grandma ever. She used to be my little savior in all kinds of situations. Like, back in my wild child, party days (like sophomore year of high school, for about a month, that was it, I swear) she used to let me go hang out at her house and sober up a little before going home (because she was an insomniac too). And she never told my dad (or if she did, I didn't get in trouble. But let's be real, y'all. He was a coach and he was a former party child. I'm sure he knew). Nana was the coolest.

Anyway, so one night, my best friend and I had gotten pretty shit faced, so another one of our friends took us over to nana's house and dropped me off. And as they were driving away, my best friend just yelled out the window "Tell nana I love her!" And she heard him from inside (and knew it was him from his unmistakable drunken charisma (can you hear me laughing)). So before I left that night, she told me to make sure and tell him Monday at school that she loved him too.

He was so embarrassed (he's not the kind to like getting super drunk around lots of people and he definitely didn't want nana to think he was a crazy drunk). So all throughout high school, my best friend used to randomly stop by her house to tell her he loved her. And it made her so happy. God I miss her.

So that's my super cute story about my nana. Shewas a hoot. But back to the rant before I get too emotional. What do y'all think?Any suggestions for these overused plot twists. Or what about other overused plottwists you guys can think of. Leave it all in the comments below and let meknow! We'll discuss it!