No Offense but, this is some shit that I’ve seen lately that needs to stop. Like now. Two days ago.

The reason I refuse to be an avidly vocal activist for eating disorders, r*pe victims, addiction awareness, feminism, alcoholism, self-harm, child abuse, PTSD, mental illness, and all that other shit that I’m supposed to advocate (aside from the fact that I think it’s self-righteous, I think playing the victim card as an excuse is pathetic, and I refuse to play the “blame society game” that’s the most popular thing ever right now) is because I think all these people go about it the wrong way.

If we’re all fighting for understanding and equality, why do we insist on putting others down to get ourselves to rise above adversity?

Seriously. I’ve been seeing this more and more in comments and stories and I’m just incredibly sick of it. C’mon, guys. We can do better.

And since I’ve been loving these lists, let me make one and tell you why I think all this shit is beyond awful. Then, I wanna give you a challenge, and the fun part is, if you do the challenge, leave the link in the comments (or PM it to me, I don’t care) and I will read it.

1.       Write about different races/ethnicities because white is boring.

I absolutely agree that there should be diversity in books. I think it’s fucking ignorant as hell to get there by saying white is boring.

Yes, have a mixture. It’s great. It’s real! It’s fabulous.

But don’t get there by saying white is horrible or stupid. No race/ethnicity is stupid.

In fact, why do we even mention race? Why not make it ambiguous? Ever think of that? Why does it matter?

Challenge: Write a story and never mention race until the end (if at all) and see how people respond. Do it. I’m excited (and incredibly curious. Also, if you have time, use conditioner and then shampoo when you take a shower. I really want to know what happens).

2.       Curvy girls are beautiful, because thigh gaps/collar bones are creepy.

Have you guys seen this before? I’m sure you have. I see this all the damn time. It’s called skinny shaming (apparently? I dunno. Don’t care enough to find out). But you know what? Some people are born with bigger bone structures. They look bigger or curvier. It’s okay.

Some people are naturally smaller and prone to having thigh gaps or collar bones. It’s okay.

Calling someone a fat whale or a creepy skeleton is not okay. See the difference?

Even if you say you’re just playing. Or no offense.

Why the hell do we do this to ourselves? Seriously. I’m so tired of this shit. I really, truly am. It is not okay to make fun of big people. It is not okay to make fun of little people.

Challenge: either never mention your character’s size OR don’t use qualifying statements (e.g. “I’m so fat people make fun of me”, “I’m super skinny like a Victoria’s Secret model”, or “I have curves in all the right places”)

3.       It’s totally okay to joke about skinny people having eating disorders.

Do you know how many times I’ve run across the phrase “I’m skinny and people think I’m a creepy anorexic girl” on Wattpad.

Let me ask you. Am I creepy? (Maybe don’t answer that. Worst example ever. Ever.)

Why do you think eating disorders have one of the highest death rates of any mental disorder? Because people with them are capable of acting so normal that no one knows something is wrong (okay, maybe that isn’t the real reason, but stay with me (but seriously, those “mental stability tests” are a fucking joke)).

Seriously. Stop teaching people that it’s incredibly easy to spot eating disorders. If we stop being so ignorant, we can save lives. The signs are so subtle that you have to be good to catch them in most cases. Portray that.

Challenge: Write a character with an eating disorder, but make the symptoms so subtle that the reader barely picks up on it. As an added bonus, make it the plot twist. (There is a chapter on subtle clues, and if you have time, do a little research on Wattpad Vampire and tell me what you come up with…because I’ve been neglecting researching them and that would be super helpful of you…)

4.       Scars are either beautiful or battle wounds

Actually, scars are defined as “a mark left by a healed wound, sore, or burn” (dictionary.com is a life saver).

The first couple of instances where scars were symbolism was cool, but now it’s just another thing to romanticize.

Challenge: make a character with a scar that is nothing more than part of their description. (E.g. my best friend has a scar in his eyebrow where he got elbowed during a basketball game and I don’t describe it as a battle wound. I always just notice how it pulls his eyebrow down into his eyelashes when he frowns or is confused. It’s not beautiful or ugly. It’s a scar).

5.       I can say whatever I want as long as I say “no offense”.

No offense, but you’re fucking stupid if you think that.

Let me list my favorite “no offense” lines that I’ve read in stories here (mostly author notes, but still): No offense, but depressed people are just sad. No offense, but people with eating disorders need to just eat a sandwich. No offense, but if you wear a short skirt you’re asking to be attacked. No offense, but fat people are disgusting. No offense, but she sleeps around so she’s a slut.

Was anybody not offended? It’s almost impossible to offend me, but it’s not impossible to anger me. And saying “no offense” or “just playin’” usually pisses me off. Say what you mean and never hide behind silly phrases.

Challenge: Say something out of the ordinary and don’t try to defend it with a “just kidding” or “no offense” Say what you mean. (e.g. The Bruce Springsteen line “you ain’t a beauty, but yeah you’re alright” or instead of describing eyes as “the color of the ocean”, say “the color of dirty dishwater”. It’s the same color and dirty and full or secrets and less cliché and not at all romantic).

6.       Depressed people have to constantly be self-loathing and broody because that’s the definition of depression.

You guys know I refuse to talk about depression because the depression advocates don’t like me too because I apparently “just don’t get it” by their standards.

Just know, depression is about as diverse as the people who have it.

No challenge. Make your own and share it. (Actually, tell me your favorite word and what it means. There’s never a bad time to expand your vocabulary.)

7.       All suicidal people talk about is dying. And people who talk about dying are attention whores.

One of the most shocking things about suicide is that a lot of people who do commit never show any signs. It’s literally a complete shock. It’s out of left field and takes everyone for a huge turn. Seriously.

Suicidal people are capable of laughing. They can have fun. They don’t have to constantly be brooding.

And you should never accuse someone of being an attention whore. Ever. Even if they are.

Take the time to figure out why they’re bringing up the whole dying conversation. If you do you’ll either discover that they are in trouble or they’re not, yet you’re giving them attention by talking to them. Easy peasy.

Challenge: Write a story about an unexpected suicide. Maybe the friends/parents/siblings are trying to figure out why or thinking back on possible signs. Or maybe write a character actively seeking help. Not just sitting around feeling bad.

8.       All the guys have to be sex crazed, because that’s all guys think about anyway

Ha. Ha. Ha. I wish they did. That would be more fun…and a lot simpler.

Anyway, surely you guys know how ignorant this is. I shouldn’t have to elaborate.

Challenge: make a male character that is completely uninterested in sex. Shouldn’t be hard. (And tell me your favorite bands/artists/albums/songs. I’m just curious. I like to know).

And that’s where the list ends, because my best friend is about to get off work and we are going out (because I didn't drive eight hours to not party all weekend)

If you do the challenges, seriously, post the link in the comments. Advertise as shamelessly as ever, I don’t give a shit! I’m excited.

And while you’re at it (one last assignment), tell me what things you think need to stop. And your New Year resolutions (if you made any. Mine was to read more and be more active in commenting, critiquing, and the likes. We’ll see how it goes).