Although my conscience blamed me for betraying my family and Orion, I didn't regret it. At least not yet. I even had the nerve to go another time with Arthur, and although we hadn't planned it, we did it again. With more freedom, with more confidence, and longer... It was like traveling far away, forgetting everything, and returning suddenly.

I enjoyed him on a third occasion, his hands and mouth running over me. He told me beautiful words: that he would never be separated from me and that he would be mine forever. He told me that I was beautiful, that I fascinated him, and that he would fight for me.

It was all too good for there to be no repercussions. And it was too delicious to stop doing it. I wanted everything, but only with him.

However, like I said, I didn't regret it... yet...

The first sign that something was wrong was that my period didn't come when it was due. I hadn't worried much because sometimes it would take a couple of extra days or even sometimes arrive earlier, but I started to have a kind of mini-anxiety after a week.

"Enif," Mom called. I turned to see her. We were getting ready to go hunt. "Your period hasn't come."

It was normal for her to know when it came, although I didn't know to what extent she kept track.

"N-no."

She looked up, studying me with her intense feline eyes.

"Do you know why?'

I shrugged with some nervousness. Dad looked at us both and then at her.

"It's normal that sometimes it's delayed, or am I wrong?" He tried to calm her down.

Mom sighed.

"Yes, sometimes it happens." She finished getting her things ready. "She must have become unbalanced. Let's go."

Unbalanced? ...Yes, maybe my body had become unbalanced for some reason, from doing something I shouldn't have, perhaps.

I pursed my lips. I didn't feel very well, and it wasn't physical discomfort. I felt that perhaps my lying and hiding things had unbalanced everything, including my body.

Another week passed, and my concern grew. Every day I woke up and I hadn't gotten my period was another pang of anguish. Then, it was every hour or every moment that I remembered.

"Enif," Arthur was coming, so I quickened my pace. "Enif, talk to me. Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry."

"No. Everything is fine. I'm just swamped these days. Please leave me alone." And I ran because some who were walking by had probably heard.

I also didn't want to see him. I was very distressed and thoughtful, and I didn't want him to believe that something was happening to me because of him. Although it hurt me, I thought that maybe if I didn't see him and stopped betraying Orion and my family, my imbalance would go away, and everything would return to normal. But no.

I didn't understand. Was it because of what we had done? I didn't know what it had to do with it, but my brain was starting to connect the dots. Orion had said that they would give you a son after that. I hadn't heard the whole talk, and now I regretted it.

What if this was how people had children? However, it was absurd. I had never seen any sign of that.

On the advice of my friend Carina, I ended up in the office of an older woman who could see sick people. We rarely got sick, but maybe I had something like that.

The old woman looked at me suspiciously when I told her what was happening to me, and she made me lie down on a bed.

She sniffed me around the neck. I felt nervous, looking at the ceiling and listening to my breathing. The woman began to feel around my belly, and I swallowed hard. I saw her look into nothing as if meditating for a couple of seconds, and she touched my belly again.

"Girl... By any chance, have you done something with a young man?" she asked. I felt my blood run cold upon hearing that question. "Have you been left alone? Have you been intimate?"

"Intimate?" I got worried. "N-no... Well... Yes, something like that," I spoke in a tiny voice as I felt my throat contract with worry.

She left after letting out a tired breath and said I could get out of bed now.

"I should talk to your mother," she added.

"Is it something bad? If she knows I was with him, s-she will be very upset... Can you tell me instead?"

She looked annoyed at me, and I understood she wouldn't say anything to me.

"I'm afraid it's not possible. Something has to be done with this, and you have done something forbidden. You shouldn't have broken the rules and been alone with a boy. You all have been told this many times in your classes."

I clenched my fists.

"If only you told us what bad things could happen, maybe I wouldn't have done it."

"You have no right to complain. Young people just have to obey, and that's it. You do not have to ask why elders advise you certain things."

I snorted.

"Please tell me..."

"First, tell me what exactly you did with him. Just to make sure it's what I believe."

I pursed my lips and looked down. I had to explain to her that we had gotten naked and everything else.

***

I walked down the street that went up and down, absorbed in my thoughts. I still couldn't believe what the old woman had told me. The worst thing was that now she knew and would probably tell the other old women in the town. I was distraught.

I regretted what we had done, though, not at the same time. Just the idea of ​​what was happening was terrifying and magical at the same time.

In part, this gave me a reason to stay away from Orion. Although I also felt like they were going to banish me...

"I was looking for you," Orion called as if I had summoned him.

I turned around in annoyance since he had the authoritarian tone he used when he wanted to give me a lecture.

I breathed deeply. I was not at my best.

"Something happens?" I asked reluctantly. "And I was looking for you too. I must tell you something."

"Stop hanging out so much with that friend of yours," he rebuked, interrupting me. "I'm tired of listening to the family murmurs. You should hang out with me and get to know us more."

Rumors spread, and I was sure my secret would soon be known. I was starting to feel alone...

"I know you well enough. Stop trying to order me around."

"I'm going to give you all the orders I want. You are mine, and I don't tolerate others saying they have seen you laugh with him and that you spend a lot of time with him. What is all that? What a shame. You know you can't be alone with a man now that we are of age."

That phrase again: 'Don't be alone.' Why? I had always been with him; he never hurt me, so it was natural that I always wanted to be with him, alone or not.

"And you know well that he has been my friend since childhood. Everybody knows. Plus, they lie. I've been avoiding him lately, but since you're bothering me, I'll go find him again," I challenged.

"All your attention should be on me now because I will be your companion for the rest of your life. And I don't believe you're avoiding him. Lately, you smell like you always bring something from him with you."

I grew cold at the memory and looked down. I felt terrible, and this time, it was a certain physical discomfort in addition to the mental one. I instinctively put my hands on my belly as a cold bead of sweat ran down the side of my cheek, and I heard Orion gasp in surprise.

"What... What have you done?"

I looked to the sides, stepped back, and faced him again. His eyes were surprised, but not a happy surprise.

"We don't have to have this discussion," I barely murmured. "I looked for you because I wanted to tell you it's over. I'm not going to join you anymore."

"I can't believe you did that with him!" he suddenly demanded when he realized, and I felt annoyed. "We should never have sneaked out to listen!" He put his hands to his head.

"It doesn't matter. I wanted to do it!"

"But not with me?!"

I opened my mouth, offended.

"So those were your intentions when taking me there?!

"Because you are my future union! Or rather, you were!"

"Well, your attempt to tie me to you went wrong! You should have been honest!"

"No!" He threatened me with his finger. "Don't excuse yourself! You're the only dirty one here for betraying me! How is it possible that knowing it was only for couples, you went with him?! How can you not want to join me anymore?!"

A couple of people turned in the distance. We had good hearing, so I got worried.

"You should have told me what would happen if we did that! You knew it!"

"It wasn't necessary if we were going to come together!"

"I also had to know if it was something that compromised my body! And above all, know the result!"

I hadn't thought about having a child after joining him. I was going to wait. I felt deceived; however, I realized he had called me dirty—a lump formed in my throat.

I didn't want to cry, and I wasn't going to, but if I stayed, nothing would get better, so I ran.

"Yes, go! I don't want to see you anymore!" I heard him.

I gasped to hold back my tears and took a deep breath. I wanted to see Arthur, but I couldn't do so this time because I had dirtied him, too; I had ruined him. I had tarnished his honor by entangling him with me. No family would accept him now, knowing he had been with me like that.

Worse yet, he was going to hate me. My Arturo was going to hate me.

***

The elders summoned my parents, and I knew it was all over. I stayed standing, hugging myself, noticing how Arthur turned to look at me with intrigue and surprise after listening to what the old woman was saying to our parents.

"She'll probably be exiled," I managed to hear her say.

The elders retired.

"Enif," Arthur murmured. I was even embarrassed to look into his eyes.

"I hope you can forgive me one day," I whispered.

"What? No..." He was interrupted by his father, who was coming towards us.

That 'no' was enough for my world to start wanting to collapse.

Arthur received a slap and only closed his eyes for a few seconds, enduring the pain.

"No," I complained in a low voice, but the man took a step towards me, raising his hand, and I gasped in surprise when I saw Arthur holding his arm back, growling.

The man also growled at him and wriggled out of his grasp.

"This dirty girl has stained your honor. This way, you'll stay alone!"

"It's not true, father, and don't you dare to touch her!" he challenged.

I was breathing hard. My mother grabbed me by the shoulders somewhat roughly.

"Since you think you are enough of a woman to do adult things, join Orion right now and do your job so that others do not notice this."

"Mother..."

"No." My dad put his hand on her shoulder. "She doesn't want to be with that young man."

"Well, now she is going to be banished!" she accused.

"My son doesn't have to be affected by this," said Arthur's mother. "I don't care if they banish that girl. We won't say anything; this isn't going to get out of here, so my son can continue with his life."

"Mother...!" Arthur claimed.

"Silence!" She approached him, showing anguish in her eyes. "Don't you see how serious your situation is? They could banish you, too! I'll convince the elders to leave you here if we don't say anything."

"You want to get out of this situation when it's both their business!" Dad interjected.

"Your daughter will be banished with that creature, that mistake, and she will die in the forest! No one in any other town will accept her in that state! They will know immediately what happened!"

I hugged myself again, or rather, my belly, the baby, thinking that no one loved it. No one was going to love it.

I pursed my lips, and tears rolled down my cheeks. The others were arguing, but there was nothing good about my little baby. I didn't want it to feel hated. It was part of me and the boy I had loved since I was young. I wanted the baby.

If no one would love it and see for its good, I would do it. I alone was more than enough to protect it.