"Oh, you're here," Mom said, handing Orion a cup of oatmeal. "This young man has told me you'll join on the next available date."

That was going to be in a few months. My stomach had already been hardened for some time, and I hadn't seen Arthur for a couple of days after watching him accept his future union with that girl.

"Yeah. Well, I have to go to the bonfire. Dad is leaving the meat in the warehouse. He's coming."

I would dance with other girls around the big bonfire in front of the lake.

"Sure."

"But don't be late," Orion said.

"Aren't you coming?"

"I've seen you dance before. It doesn't last long, either." He stood up. "Thank you for the oatmeal. I have to go guard the south entrance."

"Thank you for visiting, Orion," Mom answered.

I looked at the ceiling with annoyance and left, followed by him.

"Let's go over there."

"Okay," I sighed.

"I finally stopped getting complaints from farmers," he commented with pride. I frowned. "They gave me some vegetables as a thank you. That happens when you know the place of each creature."

"I know the place of each creature, believe me."

"By the way, I learned that Arcturus already has an agreed union," he added. I embraced myself. "It was about time. I was worried that he would be left alone. What a shame. It's not that he had many proposals like me."

"Proposals are pouring on you, you say?" I mocked.

"Are you surprised? You know I'm by far the best option around here."

"Yes, it surprises me. "

"Does it bother you?"

"No." I shrugged, and he seemed disappointed that I didn't get jealous or something. "To begin with, it is rare that others want to approach any of us because everyone knows about our union. Second, many warriors in your group do not have proposals and will not have them because everyone knows they are the ones who should go with the proposal. At least that's the usual, or am I wrong?"

He pursed his lips and crossed his arms as well.

"See you later."

Some girls were getting ready on the shore of the lake, where the bonfire rose high, so I did, too. It felt meaningless, tho. Things had been losing color and flavor as the months went by. In recent years, people began to see me as a woman and no longer as a little girl, so they criticized me more and more often.

The memory of one of those rumors in which they mentioned having seen Arthur meeting that young woman made me snort heavily. I did a quick spin to follow the choreography like the other girls, but concentrating was hard.

When I saw him among those watching us dance, I felt my cheeks grow warm, and another slight discomfort arose. I frowned and took my eyes off him to continue my business without reciprocating his subtle smile.

Arthur had always said that he would not miss any of my dances, and it bothered me that he continued to do so now, even though he should have been with the girl to get to know her better and have a good union in the future.

I clapped my hands a couple of times and turned around again, but since I was distracted, I happened to bump into one of the nearby tables with sandwiches from the town's cooks, and some of them exclaimed demurely.

I held on to the table and watched the others, who continued with the dance after forcing themselves not to laugh at me.

"All good?" Arthur asked, wanting to help me.

I pursed my lips, looking at him with annoyance, and walked away.

"Yes. Thank you."

But he followed me.

"Enif?"

The dance was already ending anyway, so it didn't matter. I continued walking along the shore of the lake. Hearing Arthur call me again, I turned to face him, crossing my arms.

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine," he insisted. I snorted, and he moved closer, smiling sweetly again. "Even if I didn't have this good sense of smell, I'd know you're upset. Have the elders told you anything?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath.

"I'm just stressed because on the next union date, I..."

He parted his lips and looked down.

"I see."

"But hey, it's okay. I mean... It doesn't matter. I knew it would happen. And thanks for coming."

He smiled with closed lips.

"I promised always to come see you, even if you tripped over something like on previous occasions."

It was true; sometimes I tripped, but it was because he made me nervous or distracted me. I smiled sideways.

"It was your fault."

"But this time, I didn't make any funny face," he defended himself, pretending to be innocent.

I laughed, remembering when I would sometimes see him from afar while my tutor was trying to give me some lecture, and he would make a face to make me smile and the old woman angry.

I reacted and looked at him angrily again.

"I don't know what you're doing here anyway," I complained, "You should be with her. Your future union."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Who?" He looked at his sides and smiled at me with mischief, which I always felt was temptingly dangerous. "I don't see any other girl here."

I pursed my lips and lowered my arms.

"What do you mean? Your future union. Didn't you tell her you were coming?"

"I have nothing to say because I no longer have any girl." He shrugged.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to be able to feign sadness because that was unfortunate, but I couldn't help but smile. I approached, wanting to put my forehead to his, but stopped.

"Why?" I wanted to know. "I mean... I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He leaned down and put his forehead to mine. I closed my eyes, moving closer until I rested my hands and forearms against his chest. "I knew I would have to stop seeing you, and I can't do that," he whispered, stroking my hair.

I was sad again, remembering that I already had a future partner.

"I couldn't either..." I looked up to meet his eyes. He covered me from the light from the moon and the stars, but I could still see his features and melancholy gaze. "If humans weren't so troublesome, I would leave this town... I would leave with you," I confessed in a low voice.

He raised his eyebrows in some surprise. We looked at each other for a few more seconds. His eyes became serious. He took my chin, intriguing me, and leaned in, ending that space we had always maintained as a rule.

His lips covered mine, triggering my heart and causing a strong electricity sensation to run through me in a second. My hands squeezed the fabric of his shirt as I felt the heat and humidity of his lips. His scent...

"I'm sorry," he said, moving away suddenly, leaving me cold. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No," I stopped him. I hadn't let go of his clothes, so I surrounded his neck and repeated his actions.

I possessed his lips. I felt his arms pressing my body against his and took a few steps back. I wanted to do this, but I didn't know it existed. This strengthened what we had in some way. We were not just simple friends; there was something very special between us.

I nibbled on his lower lip, and he gave a short, silent laugh, pulling away.

"This is wrong," he whispered.

"I don't feel it that way..."

"No, it doesn't feel like that, but it's very intimate."

"It's what we are," I insisted. "Intimate."

He shook his head, keeping his smile.

"I have to go. Come on, I'll walk you home."

I felt disappointed.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked, breaking the silence.

He looked at me and smiled.

"Yes, why not? But won't it bother Orion?" he sighed, crossing his arms. "It's not that I care if it does. He can trip in the cattle poop for all I care," we laugh, "but I don't want him to dare bother you."

"It doesn't have to bother him. I don't care either."

We stopped outside my door, and Mom opened it. Arthur greeted her with the usual respect.

"Thank you for accompanying her," she said. "Orion has many tasks to accomplish, and I'm sure he appreciates this too," she added.

I snorted, but my friend smiled and said, "It's always a pleasure."

***

Even though we knew it was wrong, somehow, we began to seek solitude to kiss occasionally, between knowing smiles, the kind of behavior prohibited, censored, and silenced that only occurred behind walls.

However, I wanted more. So, when I remembered he would watch his mother's barn from the rabbits that we didn't hunt because of our philosophy, I sneaked out of home.

I found him waiting for me at the door because he recognized my walk from a distance.

"Good evening, Miss," he greeted with his sweet smile. "What brings you here?"

"Let's watch the barn together," I said mischievously and threw myself at his lips, being sure that his parents were sleeping in the house that was not very close.

He backed away with me in his arms, and we fell onto one of the small hills of corn and straw. There was a blanket where he sometimes rested, so we ended up there, kissing passionately. He reacted when I slipped my hands under his shirt to feel his warm skin.

"Enif..."

"I want to do this," I whispered. "May I?"

"Do what?" He reciprocated my kisses.

"To be... skin to skin with you..."

He looked into my eyes, his breath caressing my lips. He kissed me again, and I knew he wanted it too.

My heart was pounding in my chest as we took off our clothes little by little, discovering our bodies and their differences. Knowing his temperature, the lines of his skin, his shapes, his softly built muscles, and his aroma that always felt like a part of my home.

Not only was my body stripped naked that night, but also my soul, everything that was me. He lowered, devouring me with kisses, squeezing my shapes with his hands, making me curve with pure joy. We were guided by instinct, and I, partly, by what I heard from the old woman that day.

"Enif..." Arturo gasped above me.

My eyes didn't leave his lips half open so close to mine, the muscles of his shoulders contracting barely with each of his movements. I wrapped my arms and legs around his body, curling against him, giving myself only to him.

I felt like nothing would separate us anymore.

After we were satisfied and even more than that, Arthur caressed my hair and my face until I fell asleep...

***

The movement of my companion woke me up. I blinked and turned. The hay against my skin brought me out of sleep. I was covered with a thin blanket. I turned again and saw my Arthur in pants, quickly putting on his shirt.

I got scared. According to the sky's light outside, it was perhaps four in the morning. Many in the town woke up at that time.

"I'll walk you home," he said as I hurried to get dressed.

"No. I'm supposed to be in bed."

"But..."

I ran to him after putting on my shirt and kissed him.

"I better go. I'll get the bread." And so, I ran away.

I smiled all the way home. A silly smile that wouldn't go away. The sensations pulsed through my body, although I knew I should shower because I smelled like him. I loved his scent, but it would rise to suspicion.

"Enif," Orion called me, and I turned around.

I carried the bread in a bag in my arms.

"Orion."

"You don't usually go out so early for bread." He started to get closer, and I began to back away.

"I know. I'm in a hurry. See you later."

"Have you thought about what we heard the other day?"

"Uh... N-no. It is not correct. I'm in a hurry."

He frowned suspiciously but ended up nodding.

"Okay. I'll walk you home."

I accepted, and we walked together. However, I tried to be on the side where the air carried my scent away so that he wouldn't smell Arthur on me.

When we got home, we went in, and Mom came out of the kitchen. Orion greeted her.

"I see you went for the bread quite early," she told me. I nodded, tightening my lips, and she turned to my companion. "Thank you for accompanying her. You are a very good young man."

I looked away, suddenly feeling bad. My conscience reproached me. It was like it had slapped me. I had lied more times in one day than my entire life. I felt like a bad person. I was, indeed. I was a bad person.