T/W: Homophobic/Transphobic slur

"So we are going to have around a hundred deliveries today. Half of our fliers will have to be doing this. Putang ina — Mga tarsiers pala 'to. Maybe two fliers can work on one. Very sleepy yet requires a lot of care and effort if we're going to want to deliver them successfully..."

J.P. sat in the middle of what was commonly known as the Common Room of the top T.O.T.S. fliers, typing away on his Fly Pad. There had been new deliveries to keep track of everyday, and Captain Beakman couldn't do it all by herself. She was growing old and still had a daughter to take care of, while he was relatively young and handling everything well. Or so he kept telling himself everyday.

   "Don't you ever look away from that Fly Pad?" Ava said, sitting onto a couch in the Common Room with a glass full of chocolate milk. Life as a Super Duper Flier was definitely tough on her, but she liked spending time to take well-spent breaks for relaxation.

   "But what if everything goes wrong if he doesn't do that?" Bodhi asked with a nervous voice, before turning towards the busy stork, "Though you should honestly really take a break. There are a bunch of worse stuff that can happen due to stress." Bodhi sighed as he sat on the couch across Ava, holding his crocheting needle and setting down his own glass of hot milk.

Lucky was curled up on the floor below him, staring up at the ceiling, bored as hell. His father getting promoted was definitely great, but that barely did anything to him. If anything, he was more bored than ever before, but he didn't let his father know.

   "Alright, sige na nga. Five minutes. But K.C.'s going to need the data on the babies before 6:00p.m.," J.P. said with his French accent, closing his laptop with a sigh. It did clash when he spoke in Filipino, but he was trying to learn his mother's tongue. He stood up from the office chair he had been sitting on and stretched. He had to admit he could be way too busy with his work sometimes, but who could actually blame him? He didn't rise to the top by being idle, and if he were to settle down now, he'd rise no higher.

   J.P. tucked his Fly Pad under his wing as he looked for a place to sit. He ended up going for the padded sitting chair that was a few metres away from the little corner where he would usually do his work. He winced slightly at the uncomfortable and hard back of the chair, but decided he could survive with that.

"Jean." Ava said with a groan. J.P. looked up and shot her a glare. He was not named Jean only for a reason. He ignored her and walked over to the nearest mirror, passing by Bodhi and bumping into his glass, causing the hot milk to spill all over the wool and stork, causing him to let out a short scream.

"I'm so sorry!" J.P. said, immediately pulling open the drawer underneath the table and using a napkin he found to wipe it all. Wiping spilled milk wasn't exactly something he ever imagined himself doing on a busy Tuesday, but he would feel guilty if he didn't.

"好呵— 對不起! It's alright..." Bodhi said. J.P. could feel the other stork already feeling awkward, especially when he slipped into Chinese. What else would one feel when someone else is cleaning a mess near them? He quickly finished up the cleaning, hoping to not send the stork into one of his common attacks.

   J.P. took a deep breath as he stood up and continued to walk the remainder of the distance towards the mirror on the other side of the room. He adjusted the feathers on his head. It had been years since it last looked good. Stress was finally catching up to him.

   "J.P., please go to Captain Beakman's office!" Paulie said through the speakers with his signature squawk. J.P. smiled tightly as he started walking out of the room.

   "There it is again. Stop wasting your breaks," Ava said. J.P. narrowed his eyes. Easy for her to say. Being a Super Duper Flier was definitely much easier.

   "Must you always be trying to oppose me? I will do whatever I want in life," J.P. said with a proud huff, not willing to abandon his pride or ever let it go unchecked. It was something that helped him climb the ranks. He started walking out of the room before he got interupted again.

   "But seriously, J.P. I want you to rest later. Anxiety attacks from these things suck," Bodhi said, stopping his knitting for a while to look at the stork. Ava scoffed.

"He's not going to do it. When has Pa ever followed anything?" Lucky said as he continued to lie down on the floor. J.P. furrowed his eyebrows at his son. He was not aware of all the things being a father came with. On the first few years, it was alright. When his son started talking, it got worse.

   "Listen here, fils, I have been following so many rules and well thought-out techniques to get where I am today, so watch yourself before you say I'm incompetent," J.P. said, being filled with a strange urge to prove his son wrong every time he spoke. He noticed himself shaking with rage and took a deep breath. That was probably going to kill one of them one day.

   "Lucky, you can discuss this with your dad later. He needs to be somewhere," Bodhi told the young pup. Lucky groaned as he finally sat on a couch, sticking his tongue out at his father. J.P. sighed with a general dissentment, but sent the other stork a brief grateful look as he proceeded to walk out, closing the door behind him.

He was now standing in the middle of a blue hallway. He looked around before he started to walk. It had been a long time since he first stepped in here. Around twenty or twenty-five years, and he was chosen to be the lucky Junior Flier that time. He smiled at the thought.

He passed by a bunch of green doors until he finally came to the nursery where the Baby Train was driving around and K.C. was feeding the babies T.O.T.S. treats. He even spied Mia helping around. His heart began to fill with some type of longing for his fils to be able to help around as well, and not just lie around. He had no idea what to do for Lucky. There seemed to be nothing more to that pup than trying to oppose him. Bodhi and Ava had told him more than once to try harder, but was that really his fault? Did he fail as a father? He didn't think so. It was Lucky's fault for being the way he was.

   He held his head high, telling himself that everything would be alright because he was amazing.  He stepped into the yellow platform of the elevator and it lifted him up. Captain Beakman's office slowly appeared before him.

   He was working more with Captain Beakman now, but he still wasn't really allowed to stay in her office for that long. Something about maintaining the aesthetic or whatever thing that pelican was trying to do at the moment. He didn't really mind though. The Common Room on the far end of the dorms hallway was more than enough for him.

"Hello, J.P.. You ready for tomorrow?" Captain Beakman asked with a smile. J.P.'s eyes widened as he felt his face start to heat up slightly. If this was all the pelican would be calling him for, he'd definitely be more than happy to leave. But he knew there's always more.

   "What is it now, Captain Beakman?" J.P. asked, standing awkwardly in front of the elevator. He always felt out of place in her office. Everything just felt way higher in league compared to him. Probably the only time he wasn't going to think he was the best.

   "I'm sorry to bother you about this and I know you might not think you're ready for this but maybe we can try planning who's delivering what for the next week instead of doing things last-minute," Captain Beakman said as she brought out her Fly Pad. J.P. felt his own Fly Pad ding with a notification as he brought it out.

J.P. sighed. "Yes, Captain Beakman"

+*+

The week was more stressful than usual. Each day was spent waking up and being reminded that he still had a fils to take care of, of all things, but Lucky was spending a lot of time in the Common Room anyway so it seemed to be fine. But he wasn't ready to wake up and see his son wearing a neon orange beanie that clashed violently with his son's fur.

   "Lucky, who sa mundo told you to wear that?" J.P. asked as he immediately sat up from bed. He looked his son up and down, not quite believing what he saw. He was completely fine with Lucky wearing a beanie, but if he was going to wear one, it should at least look good on him.

   "Oh so now you care about what I'm doing," Lucky said with a growl as he rolled off his father's blanket and fell onto the floor. The light pouring from the window was hitting the black pup in a way that made the neon beanie seem to glow even brighter than ever.

  "Lucky— I can't have you being a disgrace to this family, so of course I care. Look I know I don't really care much about you but that's because I have so much work now and—" J.P. said as he fought against his blankets and struggled to get out. He finally managed with one final tug.

   "Oh so I'm the disgrace to this family? I miss those days when you still cared. I miss those days with Juane. Screw this place. It isn't doing anything good to you," Lucky said as he furrowed his eyebrows and ran out of his father's room. He was still a small pup, only up until his father's legs, but he did have a big personality.

   "You are only five years old! Watch your language around me!" J.P. shouted after his son, slamming the door to his room behind him.

   "Pranses!" Lucky replied.

   J.P. sighed. He made a note to himself to lock the door next time he slept so that no one could interfere with the peace and quiet. He took a deep breath as he walked into the bathroom.

It was quiet in the bathroom, one of the many reasons he liked it. He started filling his bathtub with warm water, then walked over to a wall of the bathtub where a mirror hung. Lucky had struck a chord within him. He didn't even know if his fils knew that.

   He took a deep breath as he traced the frame of the mirror. It was made of bamboo. Not something most animals would do, but apparently that was a very common plant where the mirror was made in. He traced letters that were carved into one side of the bamboo. JV. Then there was another set of letters on the other side. JPP.

   J.P. finally pried his eyes away from those letters. It was probably best if he stopped thinking about them. He took a deep breath and took a step away, focusing on his reflection instead of the frame. He smoothed the feathers on his head with a sigh and stepped into the bathtub.

He had been there for an hour, maybe even longer. He didn't know. He lost track of time. He heard Lucky bang on the door and shout for five minutes, them a slam on the door. He probably left. J.P. burried his head in his wings. He wanted to love Lucky again, but he didn't know how to. Things were so much easier with Juane.

   He sighed as he finally stepped out of the bathtub, dried himself off and wore his uniform for the day. He looked in front of his mirror and smoothened any lose feathers and any possible wrinkles on his uniform. His mirror would want that. His mirror would want him to look his best everyday.

   He grabbed a quick breakfast in the cafeteria which just composed of one slice of pizza. He didn't care if that wasn't breakfast food. He stopped for a while as he noticed that Lucky was hanging around with Bodhi. He smiled bittersweetly. At least there was someone else there for Lucky.

   It was around noon but he didn't care. Captain Beakman wouldn't be needing him until 2:00 in the afternoon. Life as her right-wing stork was draining most days, but there was the ocassional lazy day, and he didn't really like those lazy days. There would always be the guilt of not being productive or the best tugging at him. The problems of perfectionism.

   He told himself he were going to rest for the remainder of the afternoon. He already rested that morning. Resting in the afternoon must also surely be easy?

   At least that's what he kept telling himself that day. In the end, he found himseld in the Common Room again huddled with his Fly Pad in his favourite comfy chair with a mug of Nescafe coffee beside him and typing away. No one else was in the room, and that was the way he liked it.

  Almost everything had been set now. The dates and times of the deliveries, which flier would deliver who, and there was still plenty of food and stuff in the nursery. Everything seemed to be okay, but as he continued staring at his Fly Pad, he felt like he could be doing more.

   Or maybe he lost something.
.

    The month was just as stressful as he had anticipated. Each day he woke up to Lucky with more and more beanies. Some really suited the pup, while some just made him feel like he would want to throw up. He was happy that someone else was knitting for the pup and making him happy.

   He spent at least thirty minutes of each day staring at the mirror. Staring at the bamboo frame. Staring at the letters engraved. And everyday he had to force himself to look away, to blink away those tears, to block out those memories. Then he would resume his day like no one else had ever come into his life and granted him bliss, even for a small amount of time.

The food was normal and he enjoyed hanging out in the Common Room occassionally, even if it were usually for work and he wouldn't join Ava, Bodhi and Edarge on whatever board or card game they were trying to play. He still had a lot of work left to do.

   There was always still a lot of work to do. Even if he had already accomplished whatever Captain Beakman asked him to do, he still found himself trying to think of more ways to help T.O.T.S. It wasn't like he could let any other stork help more than he would. That would make him feel the guiltiest.

There was not much to look forward to waking up each day. Except on Wednesdays. Which just so happened to be today. J.P. smiled as he looked into the mirror that day. Wednesdays were usually great, and not because there was less of a workload, even if sometimes that was true.

He smoothened his black feathers once again, something he had acquired from his mother. His mother had black feathers as well, since she was Chinese-Filipino. It was quite a common hair colour for that ethnicity. He checked his reflection one last time in the mirror, staring at the engraved letters, and left.

The Common Room used to be the last room in the hallway with the dorms where all the fliers slept, and his room used to be right beside it, but Captain Beakman had added one more room, so they weren't at the end of the hallway anymore.

   He walked over to the last green door and they slid open, revealing a small room about the size of a normal dorm room at T.O.T.S., except instead of seats, there were couches and swivel chairs. Instead of computers, there were mirrors. Instead of beds, there was a hot tub, where two bros can chill, except they can be no feet apart, and they can be gay. Also, you could actually wear full clothing there.

  It was a small spa section Captain Beakman had added after an incident ocurred a few years ago where some stork was cramping really badly. Pip and Freddy had tried to help but only caused the cramping to hurt more. The pelican had decided to make an additional spa room where fliers can relax and relieve any back pain.

"Hello, J.P.! So glad you could make it!" Captain Beakman said with a smile, turning around on a swivel chair, facing him. She seemed to have curlers in her feathers. J.P. smiled at the pelican, albeit a little awkwardly. This was a weekly ritual, but he still felt self-concious about doing it, wondering if he could still pass.

   "Hey, dude! Glad you weren't too chicken to do it!" Ava shouted jokingly from the hot tub. J.P. furrowed his eyebrows slightly and frowned, but only he could notice. He knew that the stork was joking, but he couldn't help but feel offended. He took a deep breath and reminded her that she didn't know. No one else knew. Except for him.

  "Hey, J.P.! Was just painting my paws! D'ya want to?" K.C. asked brightly, who was sitting on a couch beside the hot tub. J.P. let himself smile. Maybe he could do this. He needed to find a way to relax one way or another, and this could probably help him with that.

It was like that. Every Wednesday, he would come to this relaxation room of sorts and try to relax, and for once a week, he actually would. It felt homey, and reminded him of so many memories. His mother, and Juane...

When they finished, J.P. thought to go to the cafeteria for one last snack. His wing tips were painted blue, purple and pink, and he thought it looked nice. K.C. had definitely done well, but he didn't really expect her to mess up anyway. He smiled.

T/W

   "Hey, J.P.! Are you a fucking HeShe? Or are you a faggot like those new High Fliers? They're learning that from you, aren't they?" a stork called out as he passed in the hallway. J.P. furrowed his eyebrows and stopped in his tracks, abruptly turning around and flipping the stork off. The stork immediately ran away.

   He had encountered more than one stork like that, despite Captain Beakman's countless efforts to ensure that everyone was accepted. He felt a fiery anger ignite within him as he realised those "new High Fliers" — that the stork said were "faggots" —were probably Pip and Freddy.

   He had taken them under his wing last year and started training them. They were both openly gay and pan — for each other, though they did not notice and/or realise it yet. He was not going to force it onto them though.

   That wasn't the only thing that bothered him. "HeShe." He felt his heart start to drop a little bit at the thought that he didn't pass for some storks, but he shook his head. He should know that he was above that stork. He identified as a male, therefore he was a male and should still pass as a male.

End of T/W

He thought to screw it though with the last snack of the day. It was already 6:00 in the evening after all. There would probably be a lot of storks crowding around already. Anyway, he survived with an afternoon meal of Doria anyway.

As he started walking back to his room, he saw Pip and Freddy pass by in the hallway, holding wings. He smiled at his proteges. They probably thought they were holding wings platonically. He shook his head. They were going to find out sooner or later in life that they loved each other.

Love. He furrowed his eyebrows in thought. He hadn't thought about that in a while. A lot of storks seemed to have made a great deal of it. He knew he certainly did. Once in his life, he did.

He shook his head, feeling the memories floating around him, haunting him. He wasn't going to let the longing overcome him. The mirror was all he needed to keep hanging on. He wasn't going to be as naïve this time. He wasn't going to give in. He was going to be able to stay alive without romantic love. Or he thought he would.

He sighed as he stepped into his living room. On his left was the door to Lucky's room and he could see his fils sleeping with a beanie. He smiled tightly. At least the pup was happy. He walked over to the right and entered his room, falling on the bed and pulling the covers up, letting sleep catch up to him.

And that's how it's been every month. Nothing new happening. Waking up everyday to be disappointed by his son, then eating meals that would barely last him through the day. There were the meets in the relaxation room on Wednesdays and the endless longing. Nothing changed.

Or he thought.

+*+ A/N +*+

Shoutout to my friend who helped me with this spa stuff