Song: Blue Light by Mazzy Star
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(Warning: This Chapter is unedited)

Audrey's POV:

A few months ago, if you had asked me about my mom, I would have told you the same thing I told most everyone. That she was gone on a business trip.

But that was a lie.

It was the excuse I used to get by without having the authorities called. Without having to leave the only place I knew of as home. It was the excuse I had learned to live by. The excuse I had begun to believe.

The fact was, when I would tell Mrs. Green, from the house across the street, that my mom would be back soon, I had began to convince even myself.

I would sit on the windowsill, staring out into the warm summer night and believe that one day she'd come pulling into the driveway. In fact, I had begun to daydream constantly of the day when she'd come home and we'd be a family again.

However, underneath all the lies and excuses that had began to mirror my life, lay the truth.

The truth that just a few months before my 17th birthday, my mom had left to get groceries. And the truth that she had never came back.

The accident had taken everything away. It had ripped my life right out of my hands, the world that I had been living in, completely being torn apart and ruined. It had taken my father and my brother. And in a different way, it had even taken my mother.

Often times I would wonder if my mom knew I was in pain too. I would wonder if she knew that the accident had caused just as much grief as it had for her. She was too blinded by her own grief to see that I was hurting too. She couldn't see me, she couldn't see that I needed my mom.

But now, almost exactly a year and a half later, my mom was back.

And unlike the pure happiness and joy I had always thought I would feel, I felt empty. I know there should have been something. Anger, sadness, joy, pain. But there was no emotion, I was numb. Was I so broken that I had forgotten to feel, or was this apart of healing?

I lie in bed, my back pressed against the soft, blue sheets as I stare up at the popcorn ceiling above me.

Cat hops onto my bed, breaking me out of my trance-like-state. His little black paws prancing across the top of the covers.

"Hello," I whisper, turning to him and smiling, the smile not reaching my eyes. I use my hand and rub the top of his head, watching as he purrs into my arm.

My head ached to think that just a few hours ago, I had sat in front of my old apartment in a silver Jeep. Tyler, who had noticed my shift in moods, hadn't had to ask me what was wrong. We both saw the lights flicker on in the kitchen, and we both saw the white mini van parked in the driveway.

We had sat there. Stunned into a certain state of unbelief.

Sitting there in that silver Jeep on Charles Privet Rd., I had felt waves of different emotions wash over me. I had sat there in front of apartment 106, my heart painfully beating inside my chest as I watched a silhouette of a woman walk behind the window.

The silhouette of my mom.

I had quickly driven off without looking back. I had done the same thing she had done to me a year and a half ago back.

That was enough to make my stomach drop. I was more like my mom than I thought.

I let out a sigh, crossing my sock covered feet at the thought of what had happened.

The fact was, I kept telling myself that I wasn't ready to face her. To hear all the reasons why I wasn't good enough for her.
Why she had never answered my calls.

Why did she have to come back as soon as  I felt peace with myself? As soon as I felt happy? My eyebrows furrow together as my gaze drops from the ceiling to the tv in the corner of my room, the screen projecting the movie 'Toy Story'.

I smile, a stray tear making a wet trail down the curve of my cheek. Could someone cry without feeling anything?

I curl up in a ball, pulling the sheets over my body and snuggling into the comforter. I watch as Buzz Lightyear and Woody talk over the screen, not really paying attention to the words being said.

It was a weird thing. To call someone so unfamiliar your mother. Someone who was just as much a stranger as anyone.

Suddenly, a vibration across the room grabs my attention and I glance over to see my phone light up with a text. I reach over, grabbing it off the nightstand and smile when I read the message.

Solo:  Hey, you alright?

I type back, my thumbs padding across the keyboard before I tap send.

Me: I'm okay :/

Me: Just a bit confused about today

Solo: Wanna go egg her house?

Solo: It might make you feel better

I snort at the message, trying to hold back a grin. Tyler was weird but he knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Even in the crappiest of situations.

Me: That sounds nice but I think I'm good :)

Solo: No problem, my offer still stands if you change your mind ;)

Me: I'll keep that in mind

Solo: Also, completely out of context, I have two dozen eggs if you feel like an omelet.

I let out a snort, my eyes crinkling at the corners as I type back.

Me: Thanks for checking on me, Solo :)

I set my phone against the counter, hearing the ding as another text message lights up the screen.

Solo: No problem, Shrimp

I smile, my hand coming to rest against the small of my stomach. I turn to look across the room at my oak desk. The desk with a black frame that sat perfectly symmetrical on the surface.

The frame which held a picture of Kenny, Margie, Jacob, Chandler and I inside. I look at the photograph, studying the smiling faces. Memorizing the happy glint in my brown eyes.

Was it so awful that sometimes I wished that my family could have been this happy?
Without another thought, I sit up, my feet dangling off the side of the bed. I push myself off with a start and pad across the wood floor, picking up my bag from the floor. Reaching inside the pocket, I pull out the small photograph, holding it carefully between my hands.

There in the small picture sat Dad, his dark hair swept to the side and his wide, toothy grin, stretched across his face. Beside him, nestled under his arm sat my mom. Her long hair draped across her shoulder and her eyes trained on the two kids who sat in the front.

Cole and I.

Four year old Audrey, her brown hair pulled into a messy braid, smiled gap toothed at her new brother who lied in her small arms.

It had been minutes after Cole had been brought out of the hospital, his small body wrapped in a blue blanket and a beanie hiding his dark curls. He was only a few days old, but Audrey already loved her new brother. And she knew right away that he was the most precious thing in her world.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. The day I had first seen Cole.

I place the photograph against the other picture, leaning it against the frame and smile.

Cole could never be replaced, he had a special place in my heart and not a day goes by that I don't think about him. My family would always be in my heart.

But they were gone, both Dad and Cole.

It was a weird thought but in a way I had a new family right here with Kenny and Margie. I had a family again and this time I wouldn't let it slip away.

I grab my phone, typing in a quick message before turning it off and shoving it in my bag. I don't allow myself to look at the message, nor the replies that I knew were coming. I had something I needed to do, whether I was ready for it or not.

Me: Tyler, I have to talk to her

Me: I'll call you later

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I pedal across the road, my cheeks stinging against the cold wind of late December. I ride down my street, slowing down when I come closer to my old apartment.

I don't allow myself to think, because I know that if I think another minute on what I'm about to do, I'll back out. I pull into the driveway, my heart hammering inside my chest.

I park my bike next to the familiar white mini van, my hands shaky as I brush them against my sweatpants. Before thinking twice, I walk up the concrete steps, passing a few potted plants and finally coming to a stop in front of the teal blue door.

letting out a sigh, I unplug my head phones from my ear and wrap the cord around my Walkman that sat clipped against the waistband of my sweatpants. My eyes flick down to my outfit, taking in my plain red T-shirt and grey sweatpants. It sure wasn't  the nicest outfit in my closet but it was something. And something was enough.

I let out a sigh, my breath fogging against the cold air.

I close my eyes, feeling myself calm down before I reach out and knock on the door.

This was it, the moment that I had been waiting for since she had left. The moment I had started to believe would never come.

I hold my breathe, my hand gripping my wrist as the door swings open.