"Please Race," I cry, "Jack cant ever know. You cant ever tell him! You cant tell nobody!"

Race looks at me pitifully, "how long was you gonna wait to tell him?"

"Never, I was never gonna tell him," I sob, "He cant ever know it's me, please Racetrack!!!"

He sighs, he wont even look me in the eye. "I just don't know James. You know I don't keep any secrets from Jack!" He stops and looks me dead in the eye, a look he would give to a stranger, to a scabber.

"Can I even call you James anymore?!" He exclaims, "Or is it Jan now? I ain't bettin on this stayin a secret much longer." With that he turns and walks away, probably to go bet away his worries at that track.

I sit down at my bed and cry hard and long. It was all ruined. It was all so complicated so awful!

How did I ever get into this mess?

1 Year earlier 

I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe what I was about to do. The scissors glimmered in the candle light as my hand shook. I had to do this, I couldn't live here anymore, not with these terrible girls. I would lose my sanity if I had to breath this crowded air a second longer.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the last breath of the musky, warm air that had tortured me for so long.

Snip, snip, snip

I watch in horror as my brown locks fall onto the floor. No going back now I suppose. I keep working sawing away my hair, the blade is dull and the lighting makes me squint to see my face in the cracked mirror.

Snip, snip, snip

I look into the mirror and smile a sad lonely smile admiring my handy work. My heart beats fast, I couldn't believe I was really finally doing this! I slipped of the dress and my lace socks and put on the old ripped trousers. Then the white button up and vest I had found in the gutter and washed off. Next was my most prized possession, the old ragged tattered hat my brother had once worn. Lastly I put on those brown sweat stained suspenders. This was it. Manhattan beware, here I come.

I opened the window letting in a draft of warm summer air. It tickled my cheeks and beckoned for me to follow it up into the clouds. I whispered my good bye to that old house which had never been my home. I climb out of the window with ease and look up to the glimmering stars.

Freedom at last.

I climb down the fire escape and run off into the darkness. Nobody knows wheres I'm going, no one can tell me no.

I would walk this road with a hundred miles, i'd show them all i'd make it on my own. And if they don't believe me i'd turn the whole world inside out.

They said I was lucky to be in that orphanage, they said other kids were dying to get there. I was just dying to get out. Though I'd never been out on the streets before I could imagine it clear as day, all I had to do was close my eyes.

I resolved that my new life started now. No more posh speaking classes or tea and biscuits. Now I was ruffing it on the streets of Manhattan, now I was one of the Newsies.

Little did I know that life as Manhattans only homeless pape peddling network wasn't all it appeared to be.