Shisui slammed the door behind him.

The room swayed in front of him; he felt as though he was on a tiny boat in the ocean during a hurricane.

He walked into the kitchen, and felt an odd combination of terror and relief to see Itachi wasn't there. Terror because he really needed him. Relief that he just didn't want to know whether Itachi would just ignore him like he'd done these last weeks despite Shiaui's current panicked state. He hadn't have been able to take it.

I can't do this... I can't do this...

He went to their spotless grey stone bathroom that encapsulates him like a cave. He suddenly felt the dark walls close in around him, press his body, making it feel like he was free-diving hundreds of metres below the surface.

He threw up. He hadn't eaten anything so he really just dry-retched. But it didn't stop. Tears were streaming down his face, the pain in the back of his throat excruciating.

Him and his doctor had done what they'd decided to do.

The result had surprised neither of them.

But he really hadn't known he would react like this.

He curled up into a ball on the floor, put his fingers in his hair and pulled.

He thought about the answer his doctor had finally given him.

I'm not the same.

I'm not the man Itachi fell in love with.

Then, he screamed.

Itachi didn't come home for another two hours, which gave Shisui plenty of time to recover. He brushed his teeth and showered. He even cooked some tomato omelette with beans to eat with orange juice. He didn't know where Itachi was because they had just stopped communicating, but he figured he was at the gym. Shisui tried to feel whether he felt any sadness regarding them not speaking. He didn't. He didn't feel anything anymore. He mindlessly twisted his engagement ring.

There was a key in the door, and his fiancé came home. He acted as if though Shisui wasn't there, and Shisui did the same. Itachi went to shower, and Shisui could hear him blow-dry and straighten his hair in the bathroom. When he came out, the long-haired man started getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" Shisui asked, their first piece of communication in a few days.

"Out", Itachi said simply.

"To do what?" Shisui hated how irritated he sounded. Oh, Itachi, my love, what have we become?

"Dance."

"With who?" Shisui hated the sound of his voice.

"Chris."

"Why do you not ask me?" Shisui asked. He could feel tears burn behind his eyes. He hated the control Itachi had over him when he was desperate like this.

Itachi looked at him, brows furrowed.

"Because I don't want you with us."

Shisui gaped.

Not 'You're too tired'. But 'I don't want you with us.'

He just stared at Itachi and gaped.

Then, he noticed something else.

"Why..." his voice was but a whisper, but it still cracked. "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

Itachi looked down on his hand mindlessly.

"It got too big for me", he said, sounding like it didn't bother him that much. "I need to do all the chores so I haven't had time to go to the gym. I always lose weight then."

Shisui noticed Itachi had, in fact, lost a bit of the roundness in his cheeks. He felt awful for not having noticed before now.

They were silent for a long, long time.

Then, Shisui took his fist and smashed it through the wall.

Itachi jumped.

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" the long-haired man screamed.

Shisui couldn't speak. He just leaned against the wall, face in his hands.

Itachi kept screaming at him but Shisui couldn't discern a word. He felt his ringless fiancé's hands grab his shoulders, shake him. It was the first physical contact they'd had in weeks. From far, far away, above the surface of the ocean of sorrow where Shisui was currently drowning, he could hear Itachi's voice, still screaming. With every bit of force he could muster, he made himself hear his words.

"What is wrong with you?!" There were tears in Itachi's screaming.

"How can you treat me like this when you know why I've been the way I've been?" Shisui whispered.

"Oh, the bullying?!" Itachi sounded frightfully sarcastic. He had never used sarcasm during their usually so mild disagreements. "You can't just tell them to stop, tease them back, ignore it? I would respect if it annoyed you, Shisui, but you let it destroy our relationship! What about our marriage?!" Shisui couldn't breathe. "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you let it destroy you like this?!" Shisui felt like he was about to explode. "Why do you let it destroy me?!"

"I HAVE AUTISM!" Shisui screamed and Itachi stopped dead. Shisui's eyes were wild, his hands made into fists as he stood square, panting. "I have autism, okay? I got the diagnosis today."

He hid his face in his hands, sunk down the wall so he sat down.

Itachi couldn't move.

And once Shisui had opened that Pandora's box, he couldn't stop.

"I never noticed at school or university because nobody ever lifted a finger against me, but at work, I was put in situations I couldn't handle." Shisui's voice had calmed down. He didn't look up at his fiancé; he had no idea what his facial expression would show him and he did not want to know. "My doctor suggested we made an investigation. It was finished today. She diagnosed me. I haven't been able to handle it. First the bullying at work. Then the investigation. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you. I was desperate to! But I just couldn't. Just like I can't bite off my own finger. I just couldn't do it."

"Shisui..."

"That was why I couldn't handle the teasing at work, Itachi."

Itachi felt awful. He reached his hands down, and Shisui took them in his. They felt so empty without his ring. It's over. He looked up at his long-haired, beautiful fiancé with tears in his eyes. "Please", Shisui begged. "Please, don't leave me."

Itachi just stared, his eyes more emotional than the skies with all of the stars in them. Suddenly, tears started falling down his face one by one. He bent down so he was squatting next to his curly beloved.

"Shisui, I am so sorry", Itachi said. He knew that whatever he said, it wouldn't make up for the awful words he's uttered. How awful for Shisui. "Shisui", he said. He put a soft hand on Shisui's face. "Shisui, come out to dance with me."

Shisui looked up at him. "What?"

"I will cancel Chris. Come out with me to dance."

Itachi reaves his hand out to his partner, so much love in his eyes it pained Shisui.

He tentatively took Itachi's hand and his partner helped him up.

Helped him up to continue to carry him through life.