***Note: I would like to first and foremost to thank my old friend Krystle Leigh Monaco for coming up with the title for this entry and as well the how of things that you will all read below. We've known one another since elementary school. When I first asked for ideas when putting this plot together on my personal account a month or so ago, hers made the most sense. So thanks again dear! xoxo Olga***

Dear Diary:

September 26, 2013

We all stood frozen and it seemed like the words that came out of the detective's mouth were coming out in slow motion or in an alien tongue. They could see that we were all in shock and probably hadn't even heard what they had said.

"May we come in? It would be better if Mrs. Cullen was sitting down.......if all of you were sitting down in fact." Detective Pierce said. I nodded once and ushered them in along with Rogue who just appeared very quietly behind them and moved in such a way where they wouldn't even see her. Once seated, they took a deep breath each and detective Pierce tried again:

"Mrs. Cullen, I regret to inform you that your mother, Renee Dwyer was killed accidentally by a subway train yesterday in New York City."

He waited until that had sunk in. We were too still; too inhuman so some started breathing just to take the load off Bella whose eyes were bugging out of her head. Her mouth was hanging open mirroring the reactions of the rest of the people in the room as Jasper tried really hard to radiate calm; but he was barely succeeding and not with Bella anyways. She was sitting like a block of granite, trying to grasp what was just said. Edward and Leah were sitting by her side and both put their arms around her. Leah's eyes had already filled with tears; I could also hear Nessie sobbing in another corner of the room. It was her sobs that brought Bella back from whatever trance she was in.

"H-how did.....th-th-this.....happen?" Bella stammered out in a whisper.

"All we know right now is that the man we assume is her husband Phil pushed her in front of the oncoming train. She was standing too close to the edge but he definitely pushed her as a lot of witnesses verified that statement. They saw him do it and then seconds later as the train screeched to a stop, he grabbed his head, fell to his knees, and started screaming. People called the police and after looking through your mother's purse and phone, which was amazingly intact, found your number. We have been trying to call but kept getting the answering machine. So we found you using other databases for all the Bella Cullen's living in this country and you're the only one. We're very sorry for your loss." Detective Pierce ended with a very sad tone.

"Has Phil been arrested?" I asked. I figured Bella had a lot to process in such a short time so I let her do just that.

"He has been taken to the Bellevue Hospital Psychiatric Ward; we don't think he's in his right mind at the moment if at all. That is as much as we can tell you as this is still an ongoing investigation. But we will let you know as soon as the investigation is concluded." Detective Sanders answered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rogue's eyebrows come together and she frowned a bit. I half raised my eyebrow at her and then heard her voice in my head: "They're lying. They know more than they are letting on. All my years with the feds taught me to spot a lie even within law enforcement. They won't say much else though so don't ask them. I'll take care of it." I wasn't sure what she meant by that but I just turned my attention back to the two detectives still sitting rather uncomfortably in our living surrounded by our family, most of whom were sobbing at the moment; at least the women were.

"So what happens now?" I pressed.

"Now, we need Mrs. Cullen to come to New York to identify and claim the body. It should be released from the medical examiner's office within the next few days." Detective Pierce replied.

"Of course, we'll see to it that that is done as quickly as possible as your family needs the time to make arrangements and grieve. We suggest counseling." Detective Sanders added.

We all nodded without a word and then the two detectives gave us their business cards so we could reach them when we got to New York. After which, they took their leave, leaving us still in our frozen state of shock. Bella was staring out into space still holding her cellphone and battery the same way she was holding them when she first heard the doorbell ring. Everyone else was trying to just process what we'd just heard and learned. As soon as the two humans left the premises, Rogue became fully corporeal so everyone could see her; as she did so, most of us started to thaw out of our frozen statue like state.

After all we'd dealt with death before so to us it wasn't as shocking. But for someone like Bella or even any of the wolves, a death especially this catastrophic was unimaginable. So now we had to really get down to business. For starters, get Bella to come back to us; Edward and Leah were both working on that. Slowly, very slowly her vacant eyes came back into focus on Edward's face as her eyes filled with tears and she started sobbing. We let her do just that in Edward's arms. Rogue then stepped forward and crouched in front of Bella and said:

"Honey, I know this is difficult right now but I will do everything in my power to find out more details. In the meantime, you need to call your dad or someone does and find out if Renee had a Will somewhere regarding how she wanted to be buried." Bella shuddered at those last words; but Rogue was right. There was no time to waste. We had to know everything and get things squared away as quickly as possible. The sooner Renee was buried the sooner the grieving process could begin for Bella.

As soon as that was decided, Rogue took out her cellphone and called Agent Kramer. She went into the other room to tell him what happened and asked if there was a way he could help her find out more information as he had friends in the NYPD. He said he would get on it immediately and also told Rogue to fly with Bella and whoever else chose to go with her to New York. She promised she would.

Next came the hard but necessary call to Charlie. I decided to break the news to him. He took it hard as predicted but did promise to take the next plane out so he could meet up with Bella in New York. When I asked him about whether he knew if Renee had a Will or not, he said that there was an attorney in California that had drawn up one after their divorce and gave me the number for which to call him. I would do that from New York. So other than Charlie, Bella would be accompanied by Edward, Esme, Rogue, and myself. The others would stay behind as too many people underfoot wouldn't be that helpful either. And they could always fly out if needed.

I then called our private jet company and explained the situation to them; they said they would make room in the back of the plane for a makeshift casket. We would take the plane to New York and will make all of the necessary arrangements based on the Will from there. I don't think anything could be more morbid then making room in a luxurious private plane for a dead body. Nonetheless, it had to be done. They said the plane could be fueled and ready by the following morning. That would be perfect for us. Rogue though, would fly out ahead and meet with the necessary people to find out more in depth information about the actual incident.

After relaying everything that had happened to her other Watchers and grabbing a change of clothes; she came by one more time to give us all encouraging hugs and told Bella that she will do everything for her. Bella, who was finally able to speak a bit, thanked her repeatedly. Rogue just brushed it off and said she'll call once she's found everything out. Than off she flew. Meanwhile, those of us who were going to New York called one of their Hilton hotels and asked for the penthouse suite so that the four of us could fit. They had a room available and we booked it for 4 days; Charlie would also stay with us in the suite so he didn't have to spend money on a separate room. We would all leave the following day.

In the meantime, people started packing and helping Bella pack; she was still walking around in a daze. I could understand her; the whole thing was mind boggling. Phil, pushing her mother in front of an approaching subway train! Why? What was wrong with him? Renee mentioned migraines but not mental problems. Something had gone terribly wrong in NYC that day and we were going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another; or Rogue would rather. She'd handle the investigation portion so we didn't have to. Having her knowledge of the legal system and working with the feds had come in handy once again.

So the following day, we arrived at the small airport where our plane sat ready to go. We all got on and the pilot who knew the direction of our destination briefly came in to give his condolences to Bella who just nodded her head robotically at him. Then he got back into the cockpit with his first officer and we took off about 7 minutes later. None of us glanced toward the back of the plane as that's where they'd made room for Renee's body when we would bring it to its final resting place.

We got to New York in record time and landed safely in LaGuardia Airport. There was a limo waiting for us. Charlie's flight was arriving in approximately two hours and we'd ordered a town car and driver to pick him up and bring him straight to the hotel. We piled into the car and rode into Manhattan in mostly silence. As we looked at the stunning Manhattan skyline we could see the Freedom Tower or 1 WTC almost nearing completion. It looked marvelous. Regardless, of the somber reason we were coming to Manhattan, the skyline was still a site to see.

When we finally got to our hotel and started settling in after checking in; I started making phone calls. First one was to the attorney that had drawn up Renee's Will. He was horrified by the news and said he too would be on the next flight out and would like to go over the Will with us in person which we agreed to. Next was to the medical examiner's office that still had Renee's body; they said that they would be able to release the body to us in two days.

Finally, Charlie arrived. When Bella saw him, something in her broke and she ran into his arms sobbing. The dam had finally given way and she all but collapsed to the floor. Charlie also had tears in his eyes and was softly crying along with his daughter. Regardless of the fact that they were divorced, Renee was still the mother of his child and he had once loved her very much so Charlie was heartbroken by this senseless tragedy as much as everyone who knew her was.

Toward the end of that first evening, Rogue arrived. She had a triumphant look in her eyes which meant she had found out everything she was trying to find. We all sat down on the couch and waited for her to tell us exactly what she knew.

"I have to say, Scott really came through. I didn't have to use any of my own methods of persuasion to get the information that I sought. So let's start at the beginning that way it'll actually make some sort of sense, alright?" We all nodded; her way of persuasion? Oh boy.....we all knew what that looked like so we were glad Agent Kramer did come through......I was glad for the people involved rather.

"The day of the incident, your mother and Phil had gone to the specialist she told you about. They had run a whole slew of tests and it had come back that Phil had a tumor in his brain that was pressing against a certain part that controls urges. So when your mother and Phil left the office to go back to their hotel room via subway; the tumor shifted somehow and that's how and why Phil pushed your mother in front of the oncoming train. She didn't know what hit her as she died instantly and on impact so she didn't suffer so that is good news. Phil meanwhile had a full mental breakdown as he realized what he had done; he was still digesting the tumor part and now he had just killed his wife. And that's how he ended up in Bellevue where he is currently under sedation."

We sat there once again frozen but this time not as much from shock as from amazement and bewilderment. Phil had a tumor on his brain......which pressed on some part of it.......which caused him to physically push the woman that he loved to her death in front of a subway train. Rogue waited until we were blinking and breathing again....well some of us anyways. Her primary concerns were Bella and Charlie; the latter still being human and who knew how it would affect him psychologically.

"The sad part is, is that Phil's tumor is benign and harmless. He does need an operation that the Sloan-Kettering Center has performed many times before to remove it and he can go on to live a full and healthy life. He will however, remember this and have to live with this tragedy for the rest of his life. The doctors at Bellevue aren't sure whether he will stabilize again mentally or not; only time will tell on that one. I also got a chance to speak with the detectives who said they have ruled it an accident and will not press charges against him. Phil, however has no living family members and no relatives so in a way his fate and where he lives now is in your hands as well, Bella. He does need to stay here for the operation to remove that tumor but after that, he's pretty much on his own." Rogue finished speaking.

We all took that in as Bella just nodded. She had time to speak with her father and become more or less more animated if you will since the first shock hit her. Poor Bella, she had a lot on her shoulders. Not only dealing with her mother's death, but figuring out how to bury her and where, and now also having Phil as extra baggage. Even though, it wasn't Phil's actual fault, Bella would still have to find it in her heart to forgive him for killing her mother in order to move on with her life.

As the sun set behind the buildings, she stared out of the window of our suite's living room area. Everyone had a lot to think about but ultimately the decision was hers and that's a lot to place on someone's shoulders; be they mortal or immortal. To make things a little easier; we decided to compartmentalize our "to do list" so to speak. First thing tomorrow morning, we were going to the coroner's office to see Renee; Bella couldn't bring herself to call her mother "the body or the dead body" and frankly neither could we without shuddering. She was a vibrant woman who we all knew and Bella loved very much. It was Bella's first loss as a vampire but definitely not her last.

After that, we were going to meet with the attorney from California to go over Renee's Will and make the necessary arrangements; after which Bella may or may not choose to see Phil. And then there will just be the making of the funeral arrangements and having the funeral itself. But that would be left for tomorrow. Right now everyone needed to digest and process all that has happened. We were all very grateful to Rogue for going above and beyond to get the information that the detectives failed to provide us.

It's times like these, when I wish our lives were as dull as most vampires on earth. From a lost phone to a lost parent; all in one day. As I thought that, I just glanced over the skyline in New York and watched the sunset disappear at the edge of the world.

~Carlisle Cullen