Edward had fully relaxed into Esme's chair, his eyes no longer glowing with mortification. No, now they gleamed with pure curiosity, and intent. His gift was his whole focus, pulling the words, sounds, and sight of Alaw Llewellyn from my cloudy, but still definite, memories of her.
I ceased to speak, the memories of the engagement party that had been held in the fine townhouse of the Llewellyn family filling my head.
Edward spoke." Why are your memories this bright?"
"I.. like Rosalie, I replayed them. Incessantly,  those first few years. I was alone, and not inclined to live out my new existence to cure my loneliness.  I was determined to be strong enough to die. And I nearly succeeded. "
"It was my memories that kept me from caving. Alaw, dancing. Her sister, Delyth, smiling over the banisters of the stair when she had welcomed me into their home. They were people to me, not food. And I knew I'd fail them, fail to die, if I didn't remember every smile, every angry word, every conversation. "
"It wasn't too hard, resisting the thirst, when I remembered. But I was weakening. Badly. So I ran. As far away from London and the beating hearts of every street urchin, noble, and docker."
"The Highlands were safer. But the red deer that filled them weren't. I jumped one, lying under a rowan,"I smiled, and Edward laughed.
"Symbolic, no?"
"Yes. It was. I couldn't resist giving chase. It was the only time I had to actually chase a deer. Rather humiliating, that was. "
"I suppose Scotland didn't offer much in the way of mountain lions."
"Wolves, though. In plenty. It's how I managed to get through Edinburgh without bloodshed."
Edward made a face." That's disgusting."
"Better than badger."
His whole body shuddered, the taste of it remembered by both of us. " You're right. Wolf isn't so bad." He paused, searching for a polite segue back to our original topic.
I saved him the trouble. "Badger isn't exactly what you wanted for marital advice. I understand."
I resettled my shoulders into my chair, pulling back those memories that had been so long uncalled. "The night we were engaged, she pulled me aside, into the formal gardens of the house. Delyth had been unusually chipper, dashing out Greek wine like common ale, and my our father's had gone into the study, and hadn't bothered to come our upon for the congratulations...." My voice trailed off, my mental narrative continuing without me noticing the vocal one halting.
I had been slightly inebriated, the congratulary toasts having been made with far too much regularity,  and more than half  insistent on the good fortune of emptied glasses on good wishes. The dancing had helped, but I still felt cobwebs inside my ears, and the world tilting too far for comfort if I moved my head quickly.
Alaw, having matched me cup for cup, wasn't in much better shape. It was stunning that she was moving at all.
Greek blackwine had been known to knock large men out, before the second glass, undiluted. Her sister had diluted it correctly, making the once black wine a rich, darkpurple that held the scents and colors of summers past, spun free into the air with every sip and ripple.
The gardens were extensive, roses clipped and climbing to form walls, and beds of lilies interspersed with hedges of holly, cut precisely square. The lilacs set in meeting joint of holly bloomed, the lavender and rosemary scent blowing through the beds from behind the maze.
We walked every turn of the maze, and all the well-kept paths, getting steadier and more lively with every step.
When we had walked it all, she led me through the kitchen gardens, past several sheds, and out to the alley between the high wall that backed the kitchen gardens, and the wall of the next property, the iron gate set in it large enough to pass a wagon. It was surprisingly unrusted, and the hinges silent when Alaw pushed it open.
She led me through the dark London streets, ignoring the shadows that skittered just out of sight in the fog.
When I asked her where we were going, that we'd be missed, she snapped, " Shut your mouth, Englishman, until something other than bilge water leaks from it!" And swept down the streets separating the residences from the dockyards.
Their shipping line had grown enough to buy a pier, and she led me down it, the ships all dark, quiet, except for the guards posted between every hull. The first two startled me, when they stepped out to meet Alaw.
She spoke, quietly to them, then her voice lifting to reach down the pier, the lilting Welsh words liquid in the night stillness,"Sefyll i lawr,myfi!"
An answering call came from ship at the end of the pier, and she set off again down it, the two men melting back into shadow and sea-mist behind us.
She towed me up the gangplank,  calling to the cabin boy to bring something to the captains cabin, and called again to the sentries at the rails.
"Dwi yma, efallai y byddwch yn mynd."
They bowed, and retreated down the plank. She pulled me up to the poop deck, and stood, one hand on the capstan, the other still on mine.
"Listen to her, laying at rest," she said. I did so, the small noises of a ship rocking in her berth.
"She sounds restless. Impatient for wind and water, waiting to lift and lower, the wind soothing her even as it fills her sail. Then she'll hum and sing, a song of freedom, of wind and water never held still, wandering the world."
She dropped my hand then, wiping mist and salt from her eyes. "I'll wed ye, Carlisle Cullen,  and I'll hate ye for it, God forgive me. I must leave the sea, for 'tis rare enough for a woman to sail, but a wife? Never. "
"But the sound of a singing ship shall haunt my dreams, as I lie abed wi' ye and listen for our children cries at night. I must do as duty, as honor commands, for I am nothing without them, but I will never forget the sea."
I moved, touching her hand as it clasped the capstan. "I am not a seaman. I cannot, likely ever, be one. I am a minister's son, bound by my own honor and duty to my father's calling, to stand in his stead once he no longer can."
"But I can give you permission to speak to me of the sea, to share the sight and sound and joy of it, whenever the missing of its freedom is too strong to bear alone. I have  few memories bright with sun to share, but I will not take the sea from you."
She smiled then, as the smell of warm bread and meat passed underneath us, accompanied by the sound of the cabin door slamming, and turned her hand under mine, intertwining our fingers, and led me to the captain's quarters.
Her eyes were blue, shining in the light of the beeswax candles set in holders fastened to the tabletop.
She fed me the bread and meat laid out on the board, and I,  recognizing that the was some ceremony of importance to her, did likewise.
She smiled as she rose, and had poured one glass of wine, different from the powerful blackwine, but just as wonderful, pale, and full-bodied. She had me drink, and I, in turn, poured and held the glass for her. This time, her smile had lit her like a brand, and she resettled the cork in the wine bottle with a pop, starting me, just a bit. "Shhh," she had shushed, left hand squeezing my right. "I'll give ye some freedom of the sea, e'en if ye cannot sail away wi' me, and be damned to the consequences. Stand still. Don't move, or I shall stop." She lifted her right hand, pressing the buttons of my collar through the stiff fabric, working her way down to my waistcoat,  I having left my coat on the back of the chair as we ate. She was strong, very strong, for a woman, for when I went to step back, and pull my hand away, she had yanked me backward, across the table, my body landing facedown in the empty platters. Shocked by the sudden strength, I rolled, trying for the corner, and she yanked me again, pulling me center and spread-eagle on the table, her fingers biting into mine. "I said don't move, Englishman! Do ye speak English, Carlisle? Or had the Latin of your father's calling a better hold in your mind?," she asked,  using my chair as a stool, her skirts belling out around her legs as she straddled me.
"No! No Latin, woman!" Seeing no way out, I lay flat,and still beneath her.
Word limit!