Gia is busy Wednesday and Thursday night. Said she's working late — since my absence burdened everyone — and afterwards she's planning her fiancé's birthday on Friday.

Which Shushan and I are invited to. It's at some banquet hall in LA. So unfortunately I have to shave my legs and put makeup on.

Shushan said I should also mingle. Bat my lashes, feel good, get my mind off of L—

Whatever. I don't need the distraction. I'm fine. He's moving on with his life. And so am I.

"He should've at least fought for child custody." I complain to Federico who's back on my bed. "He gave you to me, didn't he?" I bend down, shimmying the dress up my hips. "It's okay, baby." I glance at him, adjusting my straps. "Your father's a prick. We don't need him."

Federico tells me he misses him and I drop my arms by my sides.

"No. We can't." I sit on my bed and look him in the eyes. "I'm sorry... I know it's difficult, but it'll get better."

He begs me with his eyes, feeling left alone.

"Come here..." I wrap his soft body against my chest, pressing my cheek on top of his head. "Don't look at my boobies. Close your eyes."

I put on nude high heels that elongate my legs and check in the mirror just one more time.

I strike a thousand poses and a few filthy dance moves. Practice my dramatic entrance, the coy side glance, the over-the-shoulder smirk, the candid laughter with my head thrown back.

I fake laugh so much my face gets red and my eyes get watered. Wonderful. We look like we came from a village now. Did we milk a cow?

"This is why I'm single..."

I get an email notification and open it, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Guess what?" I ask Pupush, cackling. "I just signed my first client." I twirl, almost twisting my ankle, then balance on one foot. "You want to know who it is?"

Pupush sighs across the room about me not letting him nap.

"It's Grant."

Le gasp.

"Right?" I raise my eyebrows. "And you want to know the best part?"

He gave you the house in San Diego?

"No, you gold digger. Since when do you want his San Diego house?"

It alleviates my stress levels. The misty breeze, the waves brushing the shore...ah.

"I didn't know you're going through so much..." I note. "Anyway, the best part is that he wanted to teach me how to run things. But your girl had already done so much research, I had him stuttering by the time I was done!"

I smile victoriously, reliving the exchange of power on the phone.

"My old boss is chasing me. Waiting for me. I make the rules now. I tell him when we'll meet, how we'll meet, and how much he'll pay to listen to me. This is the best feeling ever!"

A month ago I was dreading about being good enough for him. So uptight and anxious that I couldn't be in touch with what I wanted. 

"Lucas was right." I say. "I would've sabotaged it. I was too scared. Too insecure. He was a threat. And I kept judging him."

Maybe our relationship wasn't about romance. Maybe it was just about two people with masks on, who forced it off of each other.

If he wasn't so stubborn, I would've never let my walls down. Never would've found myself. Never would've found Gia and Shushan. Never would've felt this confident.

And if I wasn't so stubborn, he might've never been with his family on his dad's anniversary. Might've never watched the video to hear his last words. Might've never moved on.

If none of this pain ever happened, we'd still be walking around with our masks on.

"Funny how life works, huh?" I mutter. "When you don't want something, it's right in front of you. But the moment you start to cherish it, it's gone."

I smooth my hands over my magenta dress that hugs my curves. The crystal earrings sparkle behind my brown waves, complementing my shimmering lids. The tan from yesterday's beach gives me a glow, highlighting my shoulders and collarbones.

I feel like a total fraud.

What's the point? The person I want to see the most won't even be there. We're not together anymore.

I look in the mirror and — for some masochistic reason  — see Lucas behind me. His intense gaze on me, stilling my body. His hands on my hips, hitching my breath, his lips on my neck, murmuring on my skin.

Loneliness cores me hollow. Everything is painfully meaningless.

Tonight, I'm going to have to pretend.

~

"Holy shit, you're breathtaking!" Gia's jaw drops when I get in the backseat of her car. I smile at her shyly, crossing my legs. She's in a strapless red dress with foxy eye makeup. 

"I might need to break up with Lev!" Shushan gasps from the passenger side, turning her whole body to check me out. She's in a gorgeous emerald dress with a low bun.

"You guys are too much." I look down and cover my popping boobs. "Ya'll too..."

"No, seriously." Gia sits forward and starts the car. "You look... wow." She glances one more time. "Magenta was made for you."

"I thought blue was."

"You can do both."

"I'm so excited." Shush gushes, bouncing in her seat. "Oh, man! Aren't you, aren't you?"

"Oh, yeah..." Gia grins, nodding to Ari's music.

"Where is it again?" I ask. "I need to mentally prepare."

"Some bar... it starts at 9 PM. So we're... twenty minutes away." She bumps the volume and we start singing to 'God Is A Woman' as Gia speeds through the freeway.

~

"We need to drink as soon as we get there." I eye the navigation on the monitor that says we're two minutes away. "I get too anxious at big social events."

"Same." Shush drawls distractedly. "Don't worry though, it'll be fine. It'll be great."

"Yeah, don't fill your head with negative thoughts." Gia says. "Just relax and enjoy the night, you know? You look great and you're doing great. Everything is fine, Layla."

"Alright..." I chuckle. "I wasn't that serious."

They laugh half-heartedly, looking forward. I narrow my eyes at the street ahead, trying to find what it is they're so focused on.

Wait a minute.

"Where are we?"

Gia parks the car and turns the music off as her and Shushan look at each other silently.

"Guys?" My pulse throbs in my throat when I look out my left window and see 'Lucas and Danny's.' "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Surprise..." Shushan says with a weak smile, voice shaky. "Don't be mad."

"Really, guys?" My eyes water. "After everything that just happened, you two lied to me? Is it just written on my forehead—"

"Girl, come on." Gia interrupts as if I'm being silly. "We'll hold Lucas down and let you cut his dick off with a butter knife if that's what you want. I'll bring a shovel and help you bury him. I'll chop off his body and refrigerate it, then ship it off to some island."

'And I won't tell Lev." Shush jumps in. "I'll tell him the dogs attacked when he was asleep and dragged him to a dumpster, then the garbage man came and took whatever was left."

"Yeah..." Gia looks at Shushan a bit scared now. "We'd do anything for you! Chicks before dicks, bitch. Don't doubt us."

"Then what's this?" I glare at them, but voice less defensive now. My stomach twists with nausea. I hate being caught off guard like this.

"Lucas has a surprise." Gia says gently, letting me process. "Now, we'll be in the car waiting. If you go inside and instantly regret it, you can come out and we'll get the hell out of here."

"What's the surprise?"

"I can't tell you." She smiles. "You have to go see it for yourself."

I look at the dimly lit restaurant, knowing he's inside.

"I can't."

"Why not?" Shushan whispers.

"Because it's too painful... I can't look at him and hide how I feel. I don't know what to believe, I don't want to be a fool again..."

"Caring doesn't make you weak." Gia's confident voice snaps me back. "Letting someone walk all over you is weak. But you quit. You broke up with him. You set boundaries." She twists her body to face me even more. "And now you're a boss lady. You're a queen. And if you care about him, guess what? It just proves how kind and loving you are. That doesn't make you weak."

"Exactly." Shushan nods. "It takes real strength to fall down and get back up. To look at what scares you instead of looking away. Don't be ashamed of your feelings."

"As good as it all sounds guys, it's easier said than done. This is still very new." It still hurts.

A woman steps out of the restaurant and I squint through the window. She's tall and slender, moving with fluid grace.

"Who's that?" Shush asks. "Oh wait, is that Fiona?"

"Lucas's mom?" Gia asks and Shush nods.

What the hell is going on.

"She's pretty." Gia notes.

"She's so amazing!" Shush says. "Gosh, and she's so chill. I'd die for her to adopt me."

I watch her wave through the window and unlock her car, getting in to drive off.

How hard it must've been to lose her husband and see her son go through unresolved grief? Yet she remained so kind and soft.

I wonder what she'd say to me if she was right here. I can almost feel her love, hear her gentle voice, see her smile, full of faith and support.

I reach my hand and unlock the door.

Gia and Shushan snap their heads at me. My heart beats faster as I look at them.

"Wait for me."

~A/N ~
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