"Listen up, sexy. Since you've been pleasantly blessed with the gift of spending a Saturday with me, I've decided to honor you with the journey... of a lifetime."

"It's too early for you to be this way."

"That's why you got a cup of coffee." I nod with a smirk. "Anyway, as I was saying, on Saturdays... we smoke flowers."

I whip out my marijuana wand labeled 'wedding cake' and take a mighty drag. I really wonder what I look like from his point of view. With my legs crossed in front of him, swimming in his shirt with no makeup on.

Don't even get me started on my point of view. My, oh my. A calm beast against a headboard. Golden muscles on white cotton sheets. Chaotic umber hair, fire eyes and amused lips.

The morning breeze moves the curtains in a hypnotic dance. Streaks of sunlight sneak to caress our skin. Two cups of coffee. One pitch black. Another with cream.

"So you're trying to tell me...that the rude ass bitch who thinks happy hours should be banned, is a pothead on the weekends?"

"This rude ass bitch knows something about life and is willing to pass the wisdom down. If those below are smart enough to take it."

"Don't make me put my coffee down."

With a sigh, I take a sip of mine. "Rude ass bitch."

~

After paying for that consequence, I convince Lucas to go to a hipster restaurant for some overpriced, aesthetically pleasing pancakes.

I don't care about the price, I'm not a gold digger. I'm just amused because it makes Lucas miserable.

That 'soul sucked out of his body' expression really makes me laugh. In a 'throw my head back, fall on my side' kind of way. I've never laughed like that. Never really had a reason.

So, when I bark at the ugly dog, whose unaware owner is having breakfast on the opposite side, I don't do it because I'm crazy. I do it to embarrass Lucas.

"Shut up." He smiles like I'm holding him hostage.

But I'm too determined. The dog won't acknowledge me. What type of a dog ignores a bark? Isn't he supposed to be good at hearing?

"Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!" I try to keep it quiet yet authentic. But the bug-eyed idiot is more impressed with a chair.

So I change tactics. "Meow... meow.... meow...."

Lucas snorts under his breath and I'm getting annoyed. This dog has no care! Not even fazed by the enemy?

"What type of a sound does a chicken make?"

"Don't do—"

"Cluck! Cluck! Cluck! Cluck!"

Lucas chuckles, palming his face. The dog finally makes eye contact with me.

"It worked! Ruff! Ruff! Ruff!"

The scowling owner turns to his dog, thinking he's the one barking and picks him up. I laugh at him for getting scolded because of me.

Lucas rubs his forehead, refusing to look up. I poke the dimple on his cheek.

~

After eating, I convince him to go grocery shopping. It's 1 PM. I figure we could have lunch before I set him free to go back to his boring life. So he misses us a little.

The plan is to feed him a homemade sandwich, then make him watch an episode of 'Toradora!'

Standing at the produce aisle. I gulp at the sight of Lucas picking tomatoes. It's like witnessing your favorite celebrity doing something mundane like the rest of us.

And to think he had that gorgeous face between my legs earlier...

"Say... when you said 'calm down, I've already seen them...'" I lift two oranges in front of my chest. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

His eyes pop open, darting to the white-haired grandma next to us. "Stop."

"So..." I glance at the woman picking onions then back at him. "Do you not like my breasts?"

"Your breasts are fine." He grits in a low voice. "Can we talk about this in private?"

"Speaking of private... " I grab an eggplant and a cucumber. "Which one should we use tonight?"

It's like watching a lion wake up after a kitten messes with its tail. Every soft and annoyed detail on his face slowly hardens into calm threat. Not only does it sober me up, but it turns me on with thrilling adrenaline.

He narrows his gaze, darkly amused for rendering me mute, and steps forward.

I stumble back. "I'll... I'll go get the chips."

"No..." He smirks. "We'll go together when I'm done."

The grandma turns with her onions, giving me a sneaky smile before wheeling her cart. 

"Come on." Lucas cooes, squeezing my hipbone as he passes me by.

We enter a long aisle with snacks on one side and toys on the other. Lucas pulls out his vibrating phone from his pocket. I try to approach the toys, but he stops me with his hand on top of my head.

"What do you want?" He snaps at the caller. I duck to break away, but he hooks his finger around my belt loop.

"Yeah... why?" He glances at me with knitted eyebrows. I stand on my tiptoes to hear the other person, but he cups my chin to lower me down.

"Alright, man." He squeezes my cheeks with his eyes on my lips. "I don't know, let me get back to you. Fuck you too."

When he puts his phone back, I use the distraction to escape and grin at the line of teddies. As a kid, I've never cared much for toys, but something about hugging a soft, fluffy friend has always brought comfort.

And it's hard to find the perfect one. You need to have chemistry. You have to look into its glass eyes and believe that it likes you back.

My hand reaches for a brown little bear as I hug it to evaluate. Soft to perfection. Squeezable but firm. Doesn't smell like dirt. I pull back to inspect his face. Adorably big eyes, a little black stitch for a smile. I love him.

"Hey... that's for kids." Lucas calls behind me, lifting a bag of chips. "Let's go."

"Who was that on the phone?" I ask, bringing Federico Pupush with me.

"Lev." He deadpans, eyeing the toy in my embrace before looking back. "I have a weird request."

I nod my head. "You want to try anal."

"What?!"

"It's the G-spot for many men. I applaud you for being open to it."

He mutters a series of curse words under his breath while checking for witnesses.

"Listen... " He snatches my waist, jerking me towards him. "Stop being annoying or I'll do things to your ass that'll make you cry."

"Blue." I glare. "The only ass that's going to get violated here is yours."

A stunned teenage couple slows down as they pass by. They drag their steps, craning their necks for more.

Lucas closes his eyes, hanging by a thread. "Do you... want the teddy bear?"

"No?" I scowl. "I'm not a kid."

"Then why are you hugging it."

"It's comfortable."

He sighs. "Anyway. Lev's asking if you'd be down to go to his place and meet Shushan. He wants you to teach her how to make those cheese things."

"You forgot to explain to me who Shushan is."

"His fiancé."

"Ah... aw." I smile. "He wants me to meet her?"

"She doesn't have a lot of friends." Lucas's features soften. "He thinks you guys would get along."

"Cause I don't have a lot of friends either?" I try not to let it hurt.

"No." He chuckles, stroking my hair. "Cause you're nice."

"That's the strangest thing you've ever said to me."

"I know." He widens his eyes. "Some people are just blind."

I snicker. "When are we going?"

"Tomorrow, if you can you make it." He tosses the chips in the basket and walks ahead of me. I put the teddy back and catch up.

"Yeah! I'll bring the ingredients and print out a recipe for her to keep."

We reach the cash register and set the products on the moving platform. Lucas inspects everything.

"Where's the bear?"

"I put it back."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want it." I frown, confused about why he's pushing it.

He presses his lips and points his chin over my shoulder. "Go get it."

"I'm fine." I raise my eyebrows, stepping towards the cashier as she scans our items.

"Stay here." Lucas strides his long legs back where we came from. A moment later he comes back with a teddy bear hanging in his hand.

"His name is Federico Pupush."

"Of course it is." He fights a smile.

~ A/N ~
This chapter was mostly fluff, but hopefully it created some happy chemicals in your brain? Be ready though, drama and conflict are on their way!

Dedicated to YelenaLugin for going along with my weirdness while supplementing with her own quirky and heartwarming dose. And if you're looking for incredible fantasy books with a strong female lead and thrilling romance, check out her work! ❤️