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Chapter 24

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"You sure?" Lucas murmurs under his lashes.

"I'm sure." I gulp, pulling away. He releases me and I go back to my seat.

"Did I freak you out?" Lucas murmurs and leans on his forearms to look at me. I shake my head. "Then what is it?"

"I, uh-" My face is burning. Jesus Christ.

"Yeah, I freaked you out." His shoulders slump slightly.

No, I freaked myself out. Over how much I want it. How badly I crave to be pulled in.

"Can you talk to me?" He creases his forehead with quiet desperation. "Please. I'm sorry."

I chew my lip, rummaging thoughts like pieces of puzzles. This stifling magnetism. I swear it's only because it's forbidden. Reckless. A game not worth playing.

"Let's get some fresh air." Lucas suggests and quickly asks for the check.

I look everywhere else while he continuously looks at me as we wait for the bill. After fifty years, the waitress comes back and Lucas hands her his credit card.

I pull out my phone and Venmo him the amount I calculated in my head. His phone rings to notify him. He scowls when he looks at the screen.

"The fuck is this."

"I'm the one who invited you out." I retort with the same annoyed tone he used on me.

He clicks his jaw and types something before putting his phone in his pocket. When we get up, my phone rings and I check to see he just sent me the money back.

"Seriously?" I snap.

We step out into the night bathed street. I put my button-down back on and put my hair up as I walk away, shivering from the chill breeze.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lucas grabs my arm and stops me.

"Home." I frown.

"I get that, but don't just walk off on your own. It's not safe here." He chides. My blood boils. Who does he think he is?!

"Well... would you look who it is!" Gia appears, startling both of us. Derek and Michael are next to her, all dressed for a night out.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lucas runs his hand through his hair and nervously smiles.

"Oh, Lucas, you have to come." Her eyes go wide, she seems to be drunk. "Derek's band is performing and we're going to cheer him on!"

"Derek's in a band?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Yeah! Hello, haven't you ever been to our karaoke happy hours? He's so talented." Gia gushes while Michael nods his head.

"You doing any Gipsy Kings covers tonight?" Lucas's eyes light up, this time with a genuine grin.

"You remember?" Derek yells with amazement.

"You should come." Gia bumps my shoulder with hers. "To make up for all these years not knowing that Derek sings. What do you say?"

I look at everyone's smiling faces, panicking with guilt and dread. I don't want to hurt Derek's feelings. I don't want to offend them.

"Let's do it." I say with a fake smile.

~

The small venue is a few buildings down from the restaurant. The bar is in the center with a dancing crowd around.The guys are in the back where Derek's band is setting up.

"It's nice that you guys are such close friends." I tell Gia as we get our cocktails from the bar.

"It's hard to meet people outside of work, you know. Production hours have no mercy. So we're quite fortunate to find friends at work. Or more." She gives me a sly smile.

"No, no, no, no, no. No. No." I shake my head. She does not seem convinced. "Definitely not! I hate him and he hates me. We're so incompatible, it's not even funny."

"Damn, you're dumb." She scowls at me then laughs when I gape. She puts her hand on my shoulder to steady herself. "I just mean... man, you really don't see it? Really? Really?"

"What's in this cocktail?" I swirl the pink drink in my hand. Are we seriously having this conversation?

"Look, I know you have these high standards for yourself and us. Which I so appreciate." She puts her hand on her chest even though her eyes are full of sarcasm. "But it's normal. Hell, I had a crush on Lucas when I first started."

Oh, hello boiling rage. Nice to see you again.

"You did?" I chuckle.

"Totally. I'd go up to his desk with stupid excuses all the time. Like my pen had run out of ink or my computer wasn't working, even though Mitch - the IT - guy was literally sitting right next to him." Gia giggles and I am shocked at her comfortable honesty.

"And he was so nice, so I thought what the hell, maybe I have a chance, you know. Until one day at a company party - this was before you started - I got so drunk and basically threw myself at him. God, it was so embarrassing! And it gets worse."

Please don't tell me you had sex. Please don't tell me you had sex.

"We didn't do anything, if that's what you're thinking." She puts her hand up. How bad is my poker face?!

Gia scoots closer until her fruity perfume is up my nostrils. "I was so upset when he brushed me off, I left the party. But I got lost. I kept walking down the streets and it was dark; I was panicking. Layla, I was so scared, I walked for hours, ending up God knows where."

"Please tell me nothing bad happened." My eyes go wide.

She shakes her head. "I called Lucas. I don't even remember the conversation, all I know is that he somehow found me and took me home. And he never mentioned it again."

"What, but, how did he find you? And... how do you know nothing happened?" A thousand possible scenarios run through my head.

"I was too drunk to send him my location, so he drove around, asking me questions on what I was seeing around me. And somehow he found me... and took me home." Gia palms her forehead and leans closer to cup my ear.

"Layla, I was crying and trying to take his clothes off. Can you freaking imagine? I was a mess. I was calling him my Prince Charming." She starts laughing and I can't help but join, though mine is out of pure awkwardness.

"Wow, and I thought I was crazy... " I smile nervously.

She grips the counter to not fall off. "Girl, we're all crazy. But after that, I had so much respect for him." She looks at Lucas and her eyes shine with pride. "My roommates were awake, but he had no idea. They told me he was a true gentleman; he just put me to bed and left. And he never mentioned any of it to me. Ever."

Her words dawn on me with regret. Regret that after all these years, I still don't really know Lucas. Looking where he stands with Derek and Michael, I question why it even matters.

Because he's a friend? A rival? Please. My body is out of control around him. My emotions in turmoil. I crave his attention more than I should. Enjoy his company on a dangerous level. When did things escalate like this? How could I let it?

-

Ten minutes later, Derek announces that they're about to begin. Gia and I hop off the stools and go to the back where they're at. She pulls out her phone, cheering with Michael.

I don't think I've ever been to a concert. The crowd around me is bursting with high energy despite the suffocating air in the dark space.

Lucas appears beside me with an easy smile and my nerves double with uncomfortable heat. I take off my button-down and wrap it around my hips, fanning my grimacing face.

Something blows on the nape of my neck and I whip my head. Lucas straightens up and looks ahead, but the little smirk gives him away.

He cups his mouth and cheers for Derek. His deep voice and excited smile make me want to pull a Gia move and rip his clothes off. I gulp.

Michael pulls me out of this trance as he grabs my hands to dance. He's drunk, fast-paced and having such a blast that after a few minutes, I can't help but join.

"There you go! Look at you!" Michael yells with the sweetest grin. "Come on!"

I notice Lucas and Gia dancing too, but with a proper distance, like siblings. After a couple of songs, Derek and his band switch to a sultry rhythm and the mood immediately shifts.

And for the life of me, I can't focus. As Michael spins me around, Lucas keeps appearing in my vision. Maybe because he's staring at me too while dancing with Gia.

My heart hammers. Lightheadedness takes over. And every ounce, every inch, every breath that fogs around me says only one thing.

Drop that bitch and come to me.

The fuck is wrong with me, Jesus.

I try so hard to focus on Michael. He's a man, he's attractive, he knows how to dance. He's fucking touching me. He's moving me in that seductive half-spin with his thigh between my legs and it's supposed to do things to me.

Then there's Lucas across the distance with his eyes. His fucking eyes that are dark and striking and looking at me.

And I hate that his hands are on her. I want them on me. I want those fingers all over me. I want them in my hair and my legs wrapped around him. I want his mouth. I want him to ruin me. I want to beg and cry out. I want to clench and fucking sink my nails into him.

"Excuse me... " I barely manage and pull away from Michael, pointing at the bathroom sign.

I push through the bodies, moving to the other side, not caring if I get lost. My mind is running a million miles an hour, body disconnected, mood sour. I don't want to be here. Not when he's here but not here. Close but not close. Not when I feel like this.

By the time I reach the bathroom, there are ten other women in line. I turn around, frowning at the couples who are lost in their worlds without a care, without this conflict.

I'm sure it's just the evening. His teasing. There's no way these feelings mean anything.
I swallow the lump in my throat, eyes on the floor. I don't need this. I'm being pathetic.

"Looks like you're going to wait for a while," says a familiar deep voice.

I look up to see Lucas standing in front of me, eyeing the line over my shoulder. I'm stuck like a deer in the headlights, hoping he doesn't see the self-pity and loneliness weighing on me.

He holds my gaze with soft curiosity and offers his hand. I knit my eyebrows and he beckons with a smirk, gesturing toward the dance floor.

I shouldn't take it. I should shake my head. But despite the fear, the doubt, this vulnerable need to be in his arms overpowers the rest and makes me place my hand in his. He leads me away until we're surrounded by others and pulls me close, hiding us in a cocoon.

But I'm too upset to look at him. Too scared that he'll see how much I wanted this. How jealous I was. How badly I crave to lean into him and forget who we are outside these walls.

His fingers spread through my hair right under my bun and pull, tilting my face up to him.

"Eyes on me." He murmurs, taking in my reaction. I'm rendered speechless.

His lips pull up in a praising smile and it flutters my heart. What is it about him that tames my wild mind? How does he so easily make me comply?

He spins me around, erasing all thoughts, takes my wrists with a small smirk and wraps them around his waist. My heart hammers when my chest touches his, nose fills with his scent, lips meet his crips fabric. I try to fight their intoxicating spells, but I can't. I don't want to. Not here. Not tonight.

His hands move up my neck and undo my bun, cascading them to my waist. Fingers thread through my locks as he pulls back, quietly admiring his work. I'm dumbfounded from the gesture, from the way he appreciates something I secretly love, but for so long have learned to be ashamed about.

"You like my hair?" I ask self-consciously.

Lucas chuckles as if he can't believe I question it. As if it's adorable. He spins me again and this time envelops my back with his chest, seeping his warmth into me.

"I fucking love your hair."

I smile, unable to contain the giddiness. He puts his hands on my hips and moves us to the rhythm, hypnotically smooth... so slow, so close. My attention gets stolen by the front of his jeans pressing into me, taunting with hints, flooding my head with images.

I place my hands on top of his, admiring the rugged lines of his veins, the dotted hair, the flexed muscles of forearms, holding and controlling me however they please.

Lucas moves my hair to one side and lowers his mouth over my neck, hovering the warmth of his lips, awakening it with fire and need. I roll my head back, lean on his shoulder, wishing him to take every inch, make my knees buckle, weaken my limbs.

A surprised whimper spills when his hands move down my thighs and roughly drag up, digging harshly into my jeans. The pain coursing through my legs, reaches places that ache and clench, coiling with unexpected tension. My mouth parts with shock, Lucas smiles against my neck.

He snakes his arm around my waist, yanking me close, stealing another gasp. I clutch the arm that has me chained, that tells me who's in charge, saying I'm not going anywhere.

I feel his lips softly brush the shell of my ear, toying as I heavily breathe while he watches from the corner of his eye, relishing my resolve, feeding off my defeat.

A large hand wraps around my throat, holding my pulse.

He tilts my face and looks at my lips as I look at his. There's no air. There's no one here. Nothing else but this unbearable need to break our aching distance. To give in. Just give in. My eyes slowly close and...

My whole body trembles when his lips touch mine.

~ A/N ~
If anyone is curious, I was listening to "Habla Me - Gipsy Kings" while writing this scene.