Chapter 38 Starting over - Justice

Justice, four of swords, ten of wands

~~~~

Mid January...

Tim glanced around at the house as he carried a tote of clothes and one of bedding upstairs. Autumn Grean was talking to Tiana as she helped her unpack.

"That's the last one. Autumn, are you certain you want to live here? And not with the Hightowers?" Tim was concerned because Tiana was still recovering from being stabbed.

"Yes. I mean I love Coach Wally and Willow and Gracie, but I'd rather live here and just stay with them on the weekends after my therapy sessions," Autumn answered, then she shuddered as she looked out the window. "Tiana helps me more than my therapist anyway. She understands."

It killed his heart what his daughter had gone through so her mother could have pocket money. It offended him that Autumn suffered the same at the hands of those trying to kill her mother for money. "Have you talked to your mom?" Tim asked.

Looking guilty, Autumn shook her head, revealing resentfully, "She sent me a text message that she loved me after my first therapy session. Then she sent all my stuff to Coach Wally's house with emancipation paperwork. She doesn't want me anymore."

"She loves you. I am certain she is just trying to protect you," Tim tried to reassure the angry teen.

"And I'm certain that if she really wanted to protect me, she wouldn't have painted a target on us," Autumn huffed then went in the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Really, Dad?" Tiana shook her head as she came in with a tote.

"You shouldn't be lifting anything." Scowling at Tiana, Tim refuted her, "This isn't Audra's fault. She did the right thing becoming a whistleblower and saving lives. Even now, she is out there, alone, trying to find Not-Jay's real identity so you and his other victims and their families can have some closure."

"I'm fine, Dad." Tiana reached up and rubbed her shoulder scar under her shirt. "And I know... But to Autumn, it feels like Audra cares more about strangers than her only child."

Tim bowed his head then looked at his daughter with haunted regret, "Sometimes parents can't protect their children no matter how hard they try to keep them safe. Sometimes, it just isn't enough." He turned and walked down the stairs.

Tiana chased him to his room. "What's going on with you, Dad?"

"T, will you and Sheridan be okay if I move to the Rocking M?"

"We talked about this... Grandpa Cordell needs help. Uncle Lloyd is too busy being sheriff to manage it. I understand why and I'm not afraid to live here alone," Tiana reached out to take his hands. "I appreciate everything you have done for me my whole life, even when you were on the other side of the world. You've spent the last eighteen years making sure I had everything I could need or want. Anything I lacked was because of Tonia. You are a great dad and better granddad but it's time you tried to find some happiness for yourself and someone to love."

Not wanting to admit that he had found and lost someone he loved, Tim hugged her. She was growing up so fast and he barely felt like he had enough time with her, but he couldn't be in two places at once with calving season starting in a month.

"Are you sure it's okay that I don't go to LSU? You saved so much money for my college." Tiana asked worried about his reaction.

"I just want you to do what you want. I want you to be happy and if being a police officer like your uncle makes you happy, then I will write the check and not think twice about it," Tim announced as he kissed her hair, "I'll just be a phone call away, and your Uncle Lloyd..."

"Will drive by twice a day just to keep watch along with Matthias," Tiana reminded as she giggled. "Don't worry, Dad, we're safe here and thanks for the house with the diving pool." She grinned broadly and he chuckled.

"Anything for my mermaid and her tadpole."

~~~~

Erin parked next to Cassie's Jeep. Her giant red angus bull laid in the garage with the door open as she cleaned out the old hay.

"Hey," she greeted him cheerfully then her happiness fled as a second vehicle pulled up her drive.

"Don't panic," Erin insisted in a gentle voice. "I brought someone to talk to you. A profiler from the FBI. She is very nice, and you both have something in common."

Cassie edged toward her house, never taking her eyes off the woman in the SUV and the man driving. "There's two of... of them."

"Sis, calm down. Her driver knows to stay in the car," Erin assured her as the woman got out.

"Why does she want to talk to me?" Cassie backed up the steps toward her door then she yelled at the woman, "Why do you want to talk to me?"

"Miss King, my name is Dr. Claire McNaught. I was an FBI profiler, now I am retired and trying to help those who were Erotica Killers's victims. I was attacked by the man who attacked you five years ago. He stabbed me and left me to die on the same day he tried to kill Tim and Tiana Ballard, but we survived too. Just like you did."

"He's dead. Why are you here?" Cassie shook with the struggle to stay put on the deck and not flee inside as the woman slowly came closer.

"I am here to tell you his real name, Theodore Maree, and  to help you see that he was just a man who chose to become a monster after an abusive childhood. You're right, he is dead but that doesn't mean the damage he did ended with him. I am here to help you accept that and begin to heal," Claire said with genuine compassion and no pity. "Please, let me help you, Cassandra."

Cassie was torn between calling her a liar as her paranoia ranted and begging for help to overcome the fear that had crippled her for half a decade. After several minutes, she panted out the question, "Do you promise to tell me the truth about everything?"

Claire nodded, vowing, "I will tell you everything we have learned but you have to understand, Miss King, we may never know everything. He was a very disturbed individual." Claire looked past Cassie at the sunroom windows. "Is that Miss Priss? The one who saved you?"

Cassie nodded as she wiped the tears freezing on her cheeks. She clenched her fists then asked as bravely as she could, "Would you like to come inside, Dr. McNaught?"

Smiling at her, the woman nodded, "Yes, thank you, Cassandra, and please call me Claire."

"It's just Cassie." Her voice squeaked as she said it.

"I'm heading back to the Clinic, I have a 2PM feline spay surgery. Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to send Nick over when he gets back?" Erin offered.

"I'll... I'll be fine." Cassie shuddered as she stood taller, repeating, "I'll be fine."

Erin left. Dr. McNaught's driver made no attempt to leave his car as she and Claire sat in the sunroom and talked for nearly two hours.

"I think that is enough for today." Claire smiled at her wanly. "It is a lot to take in."

"It's terrifying," Cassie observed. "He killed so many people, and fooled everyone."

"Yes, it is terrifying, and yes, he fooled many people, but he also made mistakes. Like the one he made the night he killed Shivonne. He had to post for a house party at your grandmother's home to ruin the evidence after you escaped, but then he talked to the police under one of his aliases and made himself a person of interest."

"And the FBI is sure there aren't more people, like a group? It was only him?"

"Yes, the Mayibe Chained Erotica Killer was only one person. A flawed person who could only stay in any one place for two years or less before the holes in his false identities began showing up. He would learn just enough about a person or job to get by, but not enough to maintain the façade. He used the name Ichabod 'Ike' Crane with several of his victims, including your friend Shivonne because it was an identity he could turn on and off. That young man is dead and might possibly have been his first actual victim followed by three other classmates, including the girl who was the real Mayibe Chained."

Cassie put her forehead against her clenched hands for several long moments then looked up at Claire. "Can you tell me about her?"

Smiling sadly, Claire nodded. "I can tell you everything our researcher discovered, but I think you have had enough for today. You need some time to process what you learned." Claire held out her business card. "I am so sorry I didn't know who you were sooner. I would like to come back and talk to you again."

"I... I don't have insurance that covers therapy anymore. I didn't see the point of wasting the money when they just wanted me to take pills and meditate or count to three or five, and do breathing exercises when I had panic attacks."

"Don't worry about it, Cassie. Your sessions with me will be free of charge as part of the legal compensation for the victim survivors. There is a fund set up just for cases like this." Claire petted Miss Priss then stood. "Rest, think about the new information, and use the notebook I gave you to record any questions, concerns, or anything you wish to discuss. You can call me any time during business hours seven days a week."

"Thank you, Dr. McNaught."

"No, thank you, Cassandra, for being brave enough to talk to me. For finding the courage to start on the journey to recovery. It is very obvious to me that you want to get through your anthropophobia and learn to manage your PTSD. It will never go away completely but I can help you cope more effectively."

"Can... can you come back next week?" Cassie felt like she was begging but the two hours with Claire gave her more hope than she had ever felt that she might have a chance to partially recover.

"Of course, same day and time?"

"Yes... Please. I... I want to get better."

~~~~

End of January...

The crowd which watched the table from the rail for the last three hours had thinned out after 2AM. Sitting back in his chair at the ten o'clock position on the table, Tim glanced around the table from under the brim of his Stetson hat. Dealer at twelve o'clock on the table was shifting on her feet and he wondered when she got off shift as she laid the four cards for the river after dealing each player two cards. Two o'clock was twisting his ring with his thumb, he had hope that everyone else's hand was worse than his not-so-good hand as he tossed in a five-hundred-dollar chip. Veteran's Bike Club Jacket at five o'clock was rolling a thousand-dollar chip across his knuckles, and gave no hint of his pair of cards being good or bad as he matched the bet. Next to him, the Co-ed with more cleavage showing than luck leaned forward hoping her 'assets' would distract the other players enough she wouldn't lose anymore of Daddy's money. Absently, Tim thought Cassandra's natural breasts were nicer than her implants, as the elderly widow next to him who was spending her lottery winnings folded.

The bet was to Tim so he matched then tossed in the maximum amount to see who would fold and who would play on. He was already eighty-thousand over his twenty-thousand dollar buy-in for the weekend and he hated it. He hated that his luck with cards was back, but he knew what it meant in his soul; he was cursed to never be loved. His two hearts pulled to a pair as the dealer flipped the first three cards of the river. The bet went around again and again he matched and went two thousand again after matching the five hundred.

The fourth card was turned and over gave him a heart flush over his pair of jacks. The co-ed blew her hair up and Tim knew she was busted even though she matched the bet. Two o'clock folded, leaving Tim, the biker, and the co-ed looking at a twenty-thousand-dollar pot.

The last card of the river dropped the number nine in the middle of his heart flush turning it to a straight flush. Co-ed checked the bet. The Biker tossed two off his short stack. Tim matched only and the Co-ed tossed in her last two chips then flipped her cards to show two pairs. The Biker shook his head and revealed a pair of Tens to make three of a kind with the Ten in the river. Tim bowed his head and turned over his Jack and Eight.

"Cowboy has a straight flush. Seven to Jack in hearts," the dealer announced.

The Co-ed swore and left the table as the Biker chuckled. The widow Edna patted Tim's arm. She had beaten him more than anyone he had played in a long time.

"Looks like we carry the same luck, young man, all in the card and none for the heart. Goodnight, John, Tim," she said to the biker and him, then admonished them, "Play nice, boys." Then she tipped the dealer.

"Yes, ma'am." Tim and John both answered as they stood while she backed her electric chair away from the table. "Goodnight, Miss Edna."

The Ring Twister looked annoyed at the respect they showed the elderly lady.

"Gentlemen, would you like me to get you another deal to play Blackjack until a fourth joins the table?" The dealer offered.

"Deal the cards, Biyatch. I'm here for poker," The Ring Twister snarled.

"Sir, the poker tables require a minimum of four players."

He gulped down his fourth Tito's and lime over the rocks, and slammed the glass on the table. "Deal the damned cards."

"Mind your tone," John warned as Tim glared at him.

"Or what? You'll run over me with your bike? You're not even a real biker, just some old guy playing at being in a gang."

Tim tipped his hat back as he nudged John with his boot before the veteran punched the belligerent man. "Let's ask the pit boss." He pulled off his glasses and cleaned them with the napkin that had been under his drink. "Say two-hundred-fifty thousand buy-in, Five Card Stud?"

"I'm in," John said as he sat down with a smirk. "We haven't played Five Card Stud in a while."

The Ring Twister sputtered, "T-two hundred-f-fifty th-thousand."

"Yep," responding in a deep tone, Tim sat down. "The ladies are gone, and it's time for the men to play some real poker for some real money."

"I'll have to ask the pit boss," the dealer glanced around the table as she backed away.

"Tell him, Mr. Ballard will back the table," Tim called after her. He picked up his sweet tea and took a slow, casual swallow then turned to John. "So, how's the family?"

"Good. My boy got his driver's and motorcycle licenses last month. The daughter will be finishing her masters at MIT this spring." John made conversation as the waitress walked by and replaced his drink. "Your daughter still heading to college in California and the next Olympics?"

"Nope, she decided one Olympics was enough and is getting a law enforcement degree," Tim revealed. "Congratulations on your daughter's graduation."

"Thank you. How's the ranch business?"

Tim smirked, "Not as good as the oil business. How's the nuclear power plant business?"

"Ehh... The six-digit bonuses are the only thing that make the long hours' worth it."

John laughed when the Ring Twister stood up cursing at them, "Fuk you both!"

"Hey, if ya cain't afford to lose your buy-in, don't come to the cassino, 'cause ya won't win it back," Tim drawled.

The man stomped away, cursing vehemently enough a security guard started following him. They watched him cash out and leave the floor, still cursing loudly. He flipped them off after the security head spoke to him and had him escorted out.

Tim took off his hat and dropped it on the green felt. "People shouldn't play if they ain't got the funds to lose."

Nodding, John admitted, "I wouldn't have the funds for that big a buy in without pulling from the boy's college fund."

"I could barely but I just wanted to see him sweat after he cursed at Connie." Tim turned and smirked unrepentantly at the pit boss, "Sorry to drag you outta the office, Maxwell, but our third left us in a very bad mood when we started talking about playing for real money."

"Glad to be rid of him," Maxwell admitted, "The last three weeks he's been in every weekend and cursed at my dealers when he lost. He keeps trying to get a line of credit from the house."

"He didn't win a single hand tonight." Tim shook his head, asking, "He got the problem?"

Maxwell nodded, "I think so too... Can I offer you gentlemen a steak dinner?"

Tim glanced at the pocket watch he carried; it had been his late Uncle Ray's and he thought about the old sheriff's favorite meal. "I could eat some steak and eggs, it's almost breakfast time on the east coast."

"Side of pancakes would be nice too," John added.

"Steak and eggs with pancakes it is. Thanks for playing with us."

They tipped their dealer and cashed out, Tim took a little longer paying the cassino fee and taxes then he and John went to the high rollers restaurant. They talked about their time in the South Pacific. John was in the Navy twenty years before Tim worked on the rigs, but they had a lot in common because of the places they took leave to.

Back to his room, Tim sat on his bed looking at his paperwork. After taxes and the cassino's fees, he'd won over one-hundred-fifty thousand playing poker for less than seven hours. He logged in to his NannyWatch app. Sheridan was sleeping, hugging her plushy cat as it sang in Cassandra's voice. His heart thudded painfully in his chest. Weeping like he did the night after he learned Selene had tried to kill herself, he resigned himself to the acceptance he would spend the rest of his life alone. Tim laid in bed and thought about the last three weeks as he wondered when Audra Grean would come back from chasing leads about Not-Jay's real identity in Tennessee. While Tim tried to rest, he thought about everything he needed to do next week. The tasks of running the ranch seemed overwhelming and he wondered again how his great-grandparents had managed it alone for so many decades.