CONRAD WAS THE FIRST TO WALK FORWARD. Emmi's hand still at her throat, breathing in and out quickly as she looked around. Every last drop of Susannah was gone. And so was some of her mom's things.

Jeremiah ran upstairs, and Emmi immediately knew he would be checking Susannah's room. It was all gone. "Everything's gone." Jeremiah announced.

The group heard a door close, causing Conrad to walk to the kitchen, Emmilyn hot on his heels. "What the fuck, Julia?"

Julia sighed at them. "I'm sorry. This must be such a shock. I spoke to your father this afternoon and he and I decided that it would be best not to drag this out any longer than necessary."

"I don't give a shit what the two of you decided on," Conrad told her. "You had no right to touch anything in this house. Those were her things!"

"Breathe, man." Steven told him as he walked up.

Emmi had tears gathered in her eyes as she shook her head. "Some of those were my mother's things. Where the fuck is mom's stuff?"

"Everything's in storage." Julia informed them, making Emmi sigh out in relief. At least she hadn't thrown everything away. She wouldn't have put it past her. "I made sure that everyone was very careful with every single thing. I'm just doing what I have to do to sell this house."

"Bullshit, you could have said something." Conrad continued. Emmilyn realized she'd never seen the boy this mad. He usually saved the temper for Jeremiah. "You could have warned us. All you want to do is fight our mom!"

"Enough!" Julia shouted. "You're not the only one hurting here. And I'm not the one you should be angry with. Your mother could have warned you that this was going to happen. She just wanted to make me the bad guy as usual."

Emmilyn laughed at Julia from beside Conrad. "I'm so sorry that she was too busy dying to make your life a little easier. You know, it sucks that our grandfather loved her more than you but I'm not surprised."

Conrad stalked out of the room while Emmi gave Julia a harsh look. "You're full of shit. You didn't come to Susannah's funeral, you didn't care to find out my mother died but you rush to sell their house." Emmi scoffed with a shake of her head. "No wonder neither of them wanted you in their lives."

Emmilyn followed after Conrad. She took a deep breath in; Julia and her audacity infuriated her. She didn't know how the others weren't losing it on her too.

When Emmi came out, Conrad was on his phone already. "Of course dad did nothing to stop her."

"Connie, what can he do?" Jeremiah questioned. He always defended their dad, no matter what. Emmi knew Jere didn't know Adam had cheated on Susannah, but it still annoyed her.

"Jere! He doesn't care about us!" Conrad yelled. Emmi jumped in surprise, grabbing Elijah's arm. "And this asshole won't even pick up my calls." Conrad whirled on Skye when they walked out. "Did you know about this? No, I'm serious, I'm serious, did you know about this."

"I didn't know anything, okay?" Skye shook their head while Emmi watched them suspiciously. She didn't trust them, not after they went after Amy. "I swear I would have told you."

"Would you have?" Connie questioned. "Really? Because we haven't seen eachother in ten years, would a day at the boardwalk have been enough to betray your mom?"

"Listen," Skye sighed. "I know we don't know eachother very well but I wouldn't have sideswiped you like this."

"Connie, come on." Steven spoke. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know!" Conrad sighed. "Emmi, could we sleep at your beach house?"

Emmi froze. "It hasn't been touched in over a year, we would be sneezing all night." The truth was, she still wasn't ready. She wanted everything to stay the exact same inside there.

"Okay, we can't just leave." Jeremiah spoke up. "The house isn't sold yet, we still have a chance."

"A slim one." Skye told him, making Emmi sigh. Not helping. "Full disclosure, mom's realtor is expecting multiple cash offers, all over asking, no contingencies."

"Thank you, Skye." Steven said sarcastically. "For that bleak as fuck assessment. Also where are we going to sleep tonight?"

"I think there are some sleeping bags in the garage." Belly spoke.

"I'm not sleeping in this house."

"We don't have to, alright?" Jeremiah told his brother.

"Okay, well, hotels are usually all booked up around this time of year." Belly argued.

"I feel like I should go." Cam said, making Emmilyn blink. She had forgotten that he was even here. "And I'd totally invite you guys to come stay with me but it's a pretty small place, so."

"Maybe we should go too." Taylor agreed. Emmi immediately shook her head. She would only leave this place in a bodybag.

"Don't go yet," Jeremiah told the group. "I know a place we can crash for the night."

The group exchanged looks. "Jeremiah, Steven." Emmilyn spoke as the group loaded into the cars. "We'll take my car, I need you two to come with me for a minute though."

The boys looked at eachother before following the redhead next door. Steven hesitated in the doorframe as Emmi flicked the light on, coughing at the dust before heading for the closet under the stairs.

She lugged out a box that was labeled Jeremiah Graduation, handing it over to the curly haired boy. She grabbed Steven's next, hesitating as she saw hers. She grabbed the envelope off the top, cramming it into her pocket as she watched the boys open their gifts.

Jeremiah's lip quivered as he went through the box, reading his letter. Emmi frowned, pulling him into a hug. Steven joined them a moment later. Last summer they all tried to distract themself from Amy's death.

This summer they were all grieving Amy and Susannah.

"We should get to the club," Emmi spoke, clearing her throat. Jere nodded in agreement as the trio went out to Emmi's jeep.

Emmilyn stared at her shaking hands as she headed for the club, sighing. Her mom would have stopped this before Julia even showed up.

"I'm so sorry." Someone Emmi had never met told her. "Your mom was a wonderful person, she will be missed."

Emmilyn blinked at him. She had never met him. How did he know her mother?  This whole funeral was so wrong. Almost none of these people knew her mom.

They just wanted people to feel bad for them by acting like their friend died. But Emmilyn and Elijah were dying inside.

Susannah grabbed Emmilyn's shoulder, bringing her closer to her as she told the man thanks for coming. Emmi looked blankly at her. It was like she wasn't there.

"Hi darling." Susannah smiled sadly at her. "Why don't we take you up to your room and you can lay down?"

Emmi nodded, jumping at the chance. If she was here any longer she would cuss somebody out. Susannah called Conrad over, who immediately came to her side.

"Take Em upstairs," She whispered to her son. "She's not doing very well."

Conrad nodded, putting his hand on the small of her back. The duo walked up the stairs, heading to Emmi's room. Conrad led her to her bed, having her sit down.

It really was like Emmi was a ghost.

Emmilyn's eyes latched onto a picture of her and her mom, making Conrad sigh as her eyes went blank. He grabbed her leg, unstrapping her shoes for her.

He gently pushed her shoulder, making her lay down. Emmi turned onto her side, keeping her eyes on the picture. Conrad grabbed the covers, pulling them over her and then kissing her forehead before walking to the door.

Emmi blinked as she parked her car. She missed when they were close like that. Now they could barely be by eachother.

Emmi walked into the club, eyes locking with Conrad. "Alright, I think I know a place we can sleep." Jeremiah spoke. "You want to come?"

"Think I'm going to go with Cam and Skye, actually." Conrad told his younger brother.

Belly followed Jeremiah out, while Steven and Taylor went to find somewhere to sleep. Emmi shifted her weight, clearing her throat. "We'll figure this out." She told Conrad. "Are you okay?"

"I never should have gone to the boardwalk." Conrad shrugged, making Emmi frown.

"This is not your fault, Conrad." Emmi assured the boy. "Julia's a megabitch. There was no way you could have known she would do that."

"Maybe." Connie nodded. "But she never would have done it if I'd stayed back. They fucking took everything. And you heard Skye. The house is going to sell fast."

Emmi sighed. She knew Conrad was right; everybody wanted a beach house. But she had to hold onto her hope. If she let go, she'd be letting go of Susannah.

"No," Em shook her head. "No, it's not over. I mean, we'll figure something out. I'll use my trust if I have to."

To Emmi's surprise, Conrad immediately shook his head. "You need to keep your trust to keep Amy's house alive. We can't lose that house either. I will figure something out."

Emmi frowned at him. "You can't put all this stress on yourself, Connie. You need to let the rest of us help, because we are all here willing to go down for you, Jeremiah, and Susannah."

"Thank you for coming, Emmi." Conrad smiled softly at her. "I know it couldn't have been easy."

"I would have come no matter what." Em told him honestly. She hesitated before continuing. "As soon as Jeremiah told me you were gone, my heart stopped."

Conrad sighed. "I'm sorry I worried all of you."

Emmi smiled weakly. "It was for a good reason." She was upset Conrad hadn't told them what was happening, but he wanted to protect them. She understood.

Emmi was curled into the couch, staring at her barely touched bag. She sighed as her phone dinged again, opening the messages app

Connie
emmi
r u coming this summer
we miss u

Emmi shut her phone off, sighing. It had been five months since her mom died, and they were supposed to be going back to Cousins.

But Emmi really didn't want to. It would just be a shitty summer of staying in her moms house with nothing to do, grieving horribly.

She didn't talk to the Fisher's or the Conklin's anymore. Since her mom died, she stopped answering all texts from them.

They had gone to Elijah's graduation. And Susannah and Laurel had been coming to make sure they were fed and okay. But they didn't talk like they used to. Emmi and Steven used to live on facetime with eachother. Now her call log was empty.

"Emmilyn Wilson, get packed." Elijah scolded as he carried his bag down the stairs. They were going to Cousins this year.

Emmi moved her lips into a pout. "I want to stay in New York this year." She told her brother. Cousins just screamed her mom.

"Mom would want us to go to Cousins." Elijah spoke, shutting the front door. Elijah was hurting just as bad as Emmi, she knew he was. Their mom had died just before Elijah graduated. But Elijah hid it. Emmi guessed he thought he needed to be strong for her.

Emmilyn sighed in defeat, grabbing her bag to pack for Cousins. Her phone rang with a call this time, frowning as she picked up. "I'm coming to Cousins, Connie, you can stop blowing my phone up now."

Taylor stabbed the apple again, much to Cam Cameron's dismay. She had found weed in the lost and found and was trying to make a bong from an apple. "There's extra napkins if you want them." Cam spoke, practically shoving them in Steven's face.

"Thank you."

Taylor grunted as she hit another hole. "Taylor that's gross." Belly complained.

"No, I saw a Tiktok about this." Taylor replied. "You just poke a couple holes so that the smoke is able to pass through and then you just."

Taylor looked back at Belly, who was still frowning. Buzzkill. "You can't just smoke random weed."

"Belly, it's not random weed." Taylor argued. "It's Lost and Found rich people weed. It's probably really good. Can you hand me another one?"

"You need any help Tay Tay?" Steven questioned as Belly handed Taylor a new apple. Emmilyn bit her lip to hide a laugh.

"Could you just give me a minute? Damn." Taylor responded.

"Okay, can you just be a little more neat? Please." Cam Cameron begged, seeming more stressed out. "Also, you can't smoke in here. The upholstery."

"I'm not going to smoke in here." Taylor told the boy.

"Alright, well, why don't we take this outside?" Jeremiah suggested, Emmi nodding in agreement. "Before Cam Cameron has a stroke."

•••

Emmilyn walked behind the boys who were driving on the golfcart, the other girls trailing behind her. Jeremiah, Steven, and Elijah were all jumping on the back to get it to go faster. She was happy Elijah was having fun, he was always so put together now. Trying to be strong for Emmi.

Emmi smiled as she watched them; she loved her boys more than life.

Steven jumped off the cart before running forward to jump back on. Cam Cameron continued to scold the other boys, telling them to calm down. Buzzkill.

The boys finally stopped the golfcart, making Cam Cameron even more upset. Apparently the battery had died. "This thing is officially dead." Jeremiah announced. "Why don't we crash up there for the night?"

Emmi looked up at the stars, frowning. When they were together Conrad has always pointed at the stars and named them for her. She missed it.

"Well, that would be perfect timing." Skye spoke up. "Because I have discovered the secret of the apple bong."

Emmi sighed in relief. Finally. "Good job, Skye."

"You know, that's surprising." Cam Cameron spoke.

Skye shrugged at the boy. "I have layers."

"Great." Jeremiah clapped after a beat of awkward silence. "Start unpacking."

Emmi took the apple from Taylor, inhaling. "Emmilyn Juliet Annah Wilson." Elijah glared as he and the boys walked up to them. Emmi noticed Skye blanch at the middle names. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"You can't overdose on weed, Elijah." Emmi coughed as the smoke blew from her mouth. "Relax, I'm not going to drop on the ground and have another seizure."

Conrad stared wordlessly at her. "Whatever, Em." Elijah sighed in defeat. "Come on, we're playing truth or dare."

Belly looked at Steven with a smile. "I dare you to eat the apple bong."

Emmi laughed at Steven's disgusted face. "I'm not scared, I've done worse." Steven leaned down and took the apple from his sister.

"We worked so hard on this." Skye whined.

"I am so sorry, Skye." Steven responded. Steven took a bite making Emmi groan in disgust.

"What does it taste like?" Taylor inquired.

"It tastes so," Steven gagged before spitting it out all over the girls. Emmi squealed, jumping to her feet to try and avoid the half-chewed chunks.

"He knows he's going to have clean that up, right?" Cam Cameron looked panicked as he sat the food down for them.

"We'll make him clean it up," Conrad assured him. "We'll make him clean it up. I'm not playing truth or dare."

"Come on," Emmi whined as she looked at her ex boyfriend. "You should. For me. Pretty please?"

Conrad's lips went into a straight line. "Fine."

"Simp," Elijah muttered. Emmi's face reddened while Skye looked at her in confusion. Emmi had forgotten Skye didn't know anything that happened in the last two years.

"Where do you see yourself in the next ten years?" Cam Cameron questioned.

Conrad blew on his lips. "Here, honestly." He admitted. "Coming back to Cousins. Fourth of July barbecues and birthday parties," He glanced at Emmi. "Digging for clams, surfing with Jere."

"Making pomegranate margaritas." Belly added. Emmi laughed, remembering the disaster on her birthday last year.

"I don't know," Conrad shrugged. "I just feel like whatever kind of shit you got going on, you just come back here, you forget about it."

Emmilyn nodded. Conrad was right; Cousins healed them. "Come on, man." Steven groaned. "Nobody's playing truth or dare right. It's either you go big or you go home."

"Agreed," Taylor laughed. "This needs to get way more Euphoria."

"Okay, um, I'll give it a whirl." Skye volunteered. They pointed at Emmi after a minute. "I dare you to have a hot make-out with Conrad Fisher."

Emmilyn's entire body tensed as she glanced at Conrad, who's eyes were fixated on her. She blushed. "Aren't we too old for that kind of shit?" Jere questioned, making Emmi sigh in relief.

"Yeah." Taylor nodded. "Cam, you know the drill."

"Yes " Cam nodded. "Truth, please."

"What's your biggest regret?"

Cam laughed awkwardly. "I'd probably say not spending enough time with my sister before she died."

Emmi frowned. She understood. She always felt like there were times she should've spent with her mom. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." Taylor apologized.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Belly added.

"It's okay," Cam assured the girls. "It was ten years ago. She was sixteen. I was just a kid. I really looked up to her. I still look up to her."

"Does it get any easier?" Jeremiah questioned. Em grabbed his hand, knowing he was thinking about Susannah and Amy. She wanted to know too.

"Yeah." Cam nodded. "It's always there, you know. But um, the pain starts to uh, you know feel like more a scar than it does a scab. Like sometimes something totally random will set you off."

Emmi remembered when a book had set her off, nodding. "Like a song she used to play for you or um, little yellow tree air fresheners she had in her car and the pain just feels brand new again. But everything goes back to normal. Eventually. Whatever the hell that means."

"Yeah, the fuck if I know." Jeremiah agreed.

Emmilyn cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, man." Conrad spoke.

"No," Cam shook his head. "I'm sorry about your mom. She was really cool." Emmi frowned. She was the best. "And yours, Emmi. I met her a few times, she was the sweetest."

Emmi nodded, tears filling her eyes again. Jeremiah noticed, immediately pulling her into a hug.

Taylor yawned loudly, causing Emmi's eyes to narrow at her. Insensitive. "I'm sorry Taylor, did we lose you there?"

"Oh my god, no you didn't lose me at all." Taylor responded. "Alright, just like. No, I really love talking about mental health, like you should look at my Tiktok it's like seventy percent therapists. I'm just like really fucking tired right now."

"Agreed." Emmi nodded.

Jere and Steven went to go get blankets from the golfcart, while Emmi laid back on the grass to look at the stars. Someone laid next to her, and Emmi didn't have to look to know who. "Remember when you used to tell me the constellations all the time?"

Conrad nodded from beside her. "You wanted me to everynight."

"I miss that." Emmi admitted, swallowing her pride. Sometimes she regretted that night more than anything.

"Me too." Conrad nodded, voice basically a whisper.

He turned over, making Emmi frown. She kept her eyes locked on the stars, trying to picture Conrad's voice reading them to her.

She woke up with Conrad's arm around her waist, holding her back against his stomach. Emmi tensed. "Conrad." She hissed out. "Wake up."

Conrad stirred as Emmi grabbed his arm, practically throwing it off of her. How did they even end up like that?

"What's going on out here?" A woman called. Emmilyn cursed in her head, sitting up.

"Mom, hi." Cam greeted, scrambling up to his feet. "I'm so sorry, um. They needed a place to stay because they lost their house. I'll clean everything up, I swear."

"We'll all clean." Belly added. Emmi nodded in agreement.

"Good." Denise nodded. "And don't forget to return the cart."

Em watched as the woman walked away, glancing at Conrad beside her who seemed flustered.

After they cleaned everything up, the group walked back to their cars, heading for Susannah's house. It would always be Susannah's.

Emmilyn frowned as she saw Julia on the porch talking to her realtor. "Wow, look who it is." Jere greeted.

"It's okay, I'll handle it." Julia told the woman. Emmi looked at her suspiciously. "Thank you very much. Oh, I wish you boys had gone home when I asked you to."

"You're not getting us to abandon our house, Julia." Conrad told his aunt.

"It's not your house, Conrad." Julia stepped off the porch. Emmilyn bit her lip, trying to keep the insults to herself. "And it won't be long for mine either."

Emmilyn's heart plummeted. "Julia, please." Jeremiah begged. "We have an idea, okay?"

Julia dropped the bomb. "A buyer has made an offer on the house, and I've officially accepted it. I have to go to Boston to finalize the details, but um, it's done. The house is sold."

Emmilyn's phone hit the ground as she stared at Julia in complete shock. How could she do this to them? To her bestfriend, her nephews, her sister.

"What?"

rys rambles
i know o was supposed to update three days ago but ive been babysitting and traveling so i havent had time to just sit and write yk

this chapter was so hard to write bc of jere's pov and also all the skips and the group being seperated for a bit