Ever since the start of his regiment as headmaster of Heiwa, Endo Mitsuaki gave the students who put in the effort and hard work to do well in their midterm exams the choice to go in a school trip should they choose to, or stay at home during the trip's time to let off the steam of the exams, as a prize for their dedication. These trips could vary from camping trips to even trips to other cities, and this time, the destination was a camping field far from Tokyo, the trip being a simple eight hour ride from the starting point to the field, with the last day being spent on a ski resort nearby and ending with a bonfire back in the camp.

But this time, it seemed everyone and their mothers wanted to visit the resort or a place near, so four hours into the trip, the bus taking Izuru and Ban's classes was out in a snow field, stuck in the middle of a long line of road traffic. All the other buses were far gone, but this one had the incredible luck to do the favourite thing of an human being: wait.

The Izuru-Tate-Ban trio sat on the end of the bus, taking those five seats all for themselves and all the snacks Tate had packed in two stupidly big bags.

"Man, I'm tired of waiting..." Tate whined. "Miyuki, I wanna go-"

"Should have done it before we left home." Izuru interjected, flipping the page of the book he was reading. "That's one ugly sucker."

"The hell you're reading?" Ban asked, taking a peek. "Huh... Help."

"It's a manga version of one of the great greek heroes, he who threw hands with the Minotaur and won, Theseus." Izuru explained. "You know, the guy cockblocked by the booze god."

"That doesn't make things much clear, man." Tate said, opening his fourth bag of potato chips. "Oh man, we've been waiting for so long that we only have the vanilla flavoured ones... We're running way too low on valuable food!"

"There's just some things the world's strongest card can't do for us out here in the... White boonies? It's like June already, how are there places where snow still exists?"

"There's a reason I sleep through geography classes." Izuru said, closing the book. "But now that you mention it... I could use to take a wiss too. Tate, pass me an empty bottle."

"What? Ew, no! We're not taking a piss in a bottle, dude!"

"You sound like you got something to hide. Are the big snack bags meant to compensate for something?" Izuru snickered.

"Wha- I see you're in the mood for jokes, Miyuki... Fine then, I can joke too." Tate chuckled proudly.

"He's about to curse you in russian, calling his dick small wasn't worthy it, bro!" Ban warned.

"Shit, that's true!"

"Curse him in russian? Please, I have something much better. You see, Katsu-chan, me and Miyuki have been best friend for ages, not even the girl he hung out since elementary was this close to him. But me? I know Miyuki. I know Miyuki alot. Just ask me anything about him, I know the exact answer."

"I'm concerned." Izuru deadpanned.

"Hi Concerned, I'm Tate."

"Hm, let's see... What can't he do?" Ban asked.

"Cook and get a girlfriend."

"I'm single by choice."

"Yeah, choice of the fucking females." Tate and Ban replied.

"...yeah, that's true." Izuru nodded.

"Alright, alright, that was an easy one. Let's see... Things he is scared of."

"I'm not scared of anything."

"He's scared of roaches and commitment."

"I am not scared of cockroaches!"

He was scared of cockroaches.

"Aight, that was an easy one too. How many doujin books does he have to his name though?"

"Wha- Not even I know!"

"Twenty four with the next one on his way."

"But- I use incognito!"

"I can read you too well, Miyuki. I can read you too well."

"...this is bullshit and I refuse to believe otherwise." Izuru crossed his arms like a child.

"Fair enough. Things he's into?"

"Shit man, that's easy. He may be a hardcore closet pervert but he has his kinks. For starters, he's a Sawada, that means liking thighs."

"I don't like thighs."

He liked thighs.

"Next up, let's face it, all men are into asses. A man that is an ass man can be that bad."

"I don't care about asses."

He cared about asses.

"And finally... I'm pretty sure he wants a shy girlfriend who'd call him trash."

"Okay that's just a lie!"

One day, his future girlfriend started a verbal fight with their homeroom teacher and called him trash, which then prompt Izuru to step in out of a confused feeling, most likely jealousy mixed with some doubt, of never being called trash and insult their homeroom teacher the same way he learned from one of Ryuuga's friends.

"I mean, that's what all dudes are into to some degree." Ban said.

"Hm... I guess that's true, huh. But I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure Miyuki here will go haywire over not being called trash."

"I- But- Wha- Why- When- But- Do I get no saying on the matter?!" Izuru asked.

"No." Tate and Ban said.

"...this is bullshit." Izuru crossed his arms again.

"And this is how I get my revenge on Miyuki. Just appeal to the things he likes keeping a secret, such as his kinks and other things. You should have asked the amount of bodypillows he has."

"Please no."

"How many?"

"He owns two, with the third still at my home for some reason. When are you gonna get that thing? Boris keeps walking into my room while a big tiddy blonde roman emperor on a pillow sits on my bed, I'm running out of excuses!"

"At some point in the near future."

He never went to retrieve it.

"Camping trips are the best, you just get to learn so much about your friends." Ban laughed.

"I really wish you two rot in hell." Izuru deadpanned. "And I still want to take a wiss!"

And as fate would have it, a miracle happened. 

The homeroom teacher of Ban's class, the titled 'Ruling Douchebag' Eguchi Ryotaru, got up from his seat and turned to the students on the bus, looking down them with his buck teeth and poor fashion sense.

"Alright listen up, your crooked monkeys! Because of the traffic ahead of us looking like it won't be budging any time this year, the teacher's decided to let you baboons out of the bus for a short while. But don't get any funny ideas! No high octane monkey brain moves, you got that?! No trying to lure the girls far into the snow to try to flirt with them, you bastard better all stay as pure as the driven snow outside, understood?! Now get your asses up and go into the cold if you want! And if you're gonna take a piss, then take it far from here! And wash your hands in the snow, no one here wants your urine hands near them!"

And so, the doors of the bus opened for those who wanted to go outside.

"Man, it's freezing out here." Ban shivered, zipping up his jacket. He looked at Izuru and Tate, who were making their way back to him. "Took you two long enough."

"I can't believe he actually wanted us to wash our hands in the snow..." Tate muttered, rubbing his gloved hands together.

"And I can't believe we actually did it!!" Izuru squeaked, crossing his arms to feel the warmth of his big and thick jacket. "What were we thinking, shoving our hands in the snow?!"

"I know!!"

"What's up with the giant jacket? I get it's cold but come on, take that off and get a normal one."

"Hell no!" Izuru screeched. "Have you realized how annoying cold is in general?! It sucks, it sucks so much! I always wear my giant anti-winter jacket out in the snow, no matter how thin or thick it is! Jacket on, jacket never off!" He hissed.

"We get it, you got an cold hate boner." Tate said, taking his jacket and gloves off, then waving his naked arms. "I got love the spring the time!"

"...please put yourself under a car and die." Izuru said, staring at Tate with a stared of disgust mixed with disapproval. 

"Hey!"

"No I agree with him. There's always that one kid who can be in shorts and t-shrits out in the winter, but we have the bad luck of that kid being used to the cold." Ban said, shaking his head.

"Wha- I'll have you know this is a very good chick-catching strategy! Once Ako-chan and Tamaki-chan see me out here, flexing my big guns out in the cold, they'll surely fall inlove with me even more and we'll hold hands during the bonfire! It's the ultimate big brain, I tell you!"

"...." Izuru kept staring at Tate.

"...." And Ban joined in on the staring.

"Oh dammit, you guys suck! Ako-chan, Tamaki-chan!" Tate ran off, giggling like a child.

"I think the cold froze his brain cells." Ban deadpanned.

"He'd need to have any in the first place." Izuru sighed. 

"I'm going back in the bus, you comin'?"

"Nah, I'll stay out here for some extra minutes. To beat the cold, one must first be the cold."

"Pissing in the cold really took its toll on you, didn't it?"

"I don't think I can have kids any more, if we're being honest."

"Fair enough. Have fun in the white stuff." Ban said, walking back into the bus.

"Yeah, yeah, I will." Izuru sighed and looked up. 'We got three days, I can probably use each of them to talk to one of them... As for the order in which to do it... Ah, I can just keep that for when we get there, it's way too cold out here!' He shook his head rapidly to make the cold leave his head, but doing so made him notice someone.

Aimi stood by herself near the bus, fidgeting under the cold, with her hands on her ears.

"Cold..." Aimi muttered, looking the clouds of air that left her mouth. She let go of her ears to pull up her scarf, but then yelped. "Hmph?"

"It's useless to try to listen to music with Tate and Ban there, and I heard you lost yours so... Just use mine." Izuru said, letting go of the headphones he put on Aimi's head. 

"T-thanks..." She muttered.

Even when the traffic began to disperse and the bus could return to its normal speed, by the time night fell, there was still a long way until they reached the camping field, so for the first night of the camping trip, the students blessed by road traffic stayed at an inn that was in the way to the camp. But instead of staying in rooms with those of their class, Ban used his strongest card to get a private room with all of the luxuries for himself and his friends.

"I love the rich!" Izuru and Tate yelled happily as they entered the private room for them and Ban.

"I finally gave Ruling Douchebag a piece of my mind. All I had to do was wave my credit card." Ban laughed proudly, closing the door behind them. "Fellas, I present to you a private room! It has good food and the bath house is all for us!"

"I can't believe those other losers get to sleep in small rooms together while we get a large one and free good food! Fuck the middle class!" Tate cheered.

"Fuck the middle class, money rocks!" Izuru exclaimed. "Wait a sec, we're technically middle class too..."

"Oh yeah... But you know what isn't middle class? These tasty ass snacks!" Tate said, shoving his face with the sweets left in the room before their arrival.

"I mean, when you put it like that... We studied, we listened to the Ruling Douchebag, we deserve the good shit!"

"Oh man, these sweets are the stuff! I never had anything so good in my life!"

"Agreed!"

"What are you two talking about? Those are the generic ass sweets they leave for the costumers in the private rooms. Did you never stayed at an inn?" Ban asked.

"...." Izuru and Tate let got of the basket of sweets and looked back at Ban, looking down on him with a dead glare. "Die in hell, filthy rich person."

"...so that's a no to the ramen bowls with the good stuff on them?"

"..." Izuru and Tate shared a glance and nodded to each other. "You're the best, Ban!"

"Screw you!"

"CANNONBALL!!" 

Ban and Izuru screamed from the top of their lungs, jumping straight into the warm water of the hot springs reserved for them. So after, Tate joined in, but with a different battle cry.

"PUSHECHNOYE YADRO!"

"What the hell was that?!" Ban asked, moving his wet hair out of his eyes. 

"It's the russian version of cannonball, you doofus. What did you think I was going to yell?!" Tate asked.

"Cyka blyat." Izuru chuckled, looking at a wall instead of looking at his friends. 

"Stop keeping the hentai protag look, we're behind you." Ban deadpanned.

"Respect the drip, Baren."

"I- Oh you're gonna get it now."

"Oh please, what's the worse you can-" Izuru moved his hair out of the way and came face to face with the tall wave of hot water raised by Ban hitting the water over and over again. "A-ah?!"

"You probably feel more japanese than ever." Tate snickered.

"So this is how Japan feels..." The black haired coughed after swimming back to the surface.

"You mess with the Ban, you get the hand."

"Oh screw you, dickhead..." Izuru said, sitting outside the hot tub with his arms crossed.

"Haha, sucks to suck." Ban snickered, leaning against one of the walls of the hot tub, then placing his towel over his face. "If I start to drift up, wake me up."

"Wake you up? What do you mean with-" Tate was interupted by Ban's loud snoring. "I guess he's the type of guy to fall asleep in hot tubs."

"Everyone has their own sleeping quirks and stuff. Yours is waking up in weird positions that foresee the weather."

"What? Bull crap!"

"You woke up all spread out in my bedroom's floor like a dead spider, that usually means that it'll snow. And guess what? It snowed!"

"Well yeah but... But not when we were in Tokyo! Take that!"

"Tell that to our judge- Oh wait, he's sleeping his ass off. Boom! I win!" Izuru laughed.

"Man this some bullshit." Tate sighed, crossing his arms. "So Miyuki, you got any lady in sight for the bonfire? I'm thinking of holding hands with both Ako-chan and Tamaki-chan to secure myself a waifu. You?"

"Me? Hell no. I don't care alot about that sort of stuff. It just isn't my thing. I'll probably just go sleep while the bonfire is up and avoid being annoyed. I'd kill for some good sleep."

"Good sleep with a lady? Hell yeah, you dirty dog!"

"Not like that, you dumb oaf. This whole love thing can wait, I got other stuff to do." Izuru chuckled.

"Y'know, the chicks won't be waitin' forever."

"I don't-"

"Have the mood for stuff like that? I knew you'd say something like that. Been at it for four years and counting. I think that cute library chick would be a good fit. What was her name again?"

"Kasumi."

"Oh yeah, Kasumi-chan. Hella cute, hella thick, has glasses and black hair, what's there not to like?"

"She was in Yukiko's class back in the day."

"I knew she looked familiar... She's that nerdy chick with the braids from that old shithole we studied at, ain't she?"

"Yup."

"I mean... Is she holding that Nijimura shit over your head or anything?"

"On the contrary, she tinks kicking his ass was the best thing anyone could have done."

"Hm... You sure this is okay with you? It was some heavy shit that happened all those years ago, I don't want that to come back to haunt our asses."

"It won't, I promise you. But I want to come clean to some people. Because of that day, I've hurt some people who didn't need my dumbassary to ruin their day."

"Why're you telling me, though? You've always done stuff without teeling people, Miyuki."

"You say that like it's a good thing."

"It really isn't."

"Back on point... You sacrificed yourself for me back at shithole of a school. You chose to be a social outcast instead of being someone who judged the dumb kid who beat up their dear Nijimura-kun. I don't want that to happen again. I'm not letting you take the bullet again, not now or never. You're like a brother to me, dumbass."

"You really thought you could use words to stop me? You obviously don't know the Serebryakov Code of Honour. We fight for our comrades through thick and thin, even against the dumb sheep dressed as teenagers." Tate grinned and looked at Izuru. "For better or worse, your weeb ass ain't getting rid of me. I'm sticking to you like those fish that stick close to sharks. Rejoice, sucker, you still got tons of years of listening to my dumb ass talking about girls left."

"I wouldn't expect anything else from you." Izuru chuckled. "Yeah. Let's show those fools just what we have in us."

"Let's get it." Tate laughed. 

"Can you two drop the bromance? People are trying to take a nap here." Ban said.

"This sucker was up the whole time?!" Tate asked.

"It's fine, I told him the stuff. Hell, even Minami knows."

"Mimi-chan what?!"

"It's a long story. Come on, let's go get ourselves our rich person ramen, it's a once in a lifetime chance!"

"More like once in a month." Ban snickered.

"DIE, RICH CLASS!" Izuru and Tate screamed, fetching some wooden buckets that were pilled up near the hot tub and hurling them at Ban.