As the sun rose upon a brand new day, a trio of alarm clocks all began blasting their annoying sounds throughout Izuru's room, waking up he who slept on a pair of futons on the floor that occupied most of the bedroom's floor, with his arms and legs spread out like a starfish, before anyone else.

His eyes shot open and he kicked away the covers on top of him, jumping onto his two feet as if all the fatigue had left his body.

"CAMPING TRIP HYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYPE!" Tate yelled from the top of his lungs.

"Shut up, turn those things off..." Izuru muttered, snuggling closer to a pillow he held in his arms.

"I can't, I don't know you guys' passwords so." Tate shrugged.

"You don't need to know them..." Ban coughed out, peeking his head out from underneath the bed.

"What are you doing there? There was a futon and blanket for you, why not use that?"

"You little... You stole my cover and my futon, you cunt!" Ban yelled out, crawling his way out from underneath Izuru's bed, but the moment he stood up, the sound of bones cracking made him stand still. "I despise everything about you..."

"Hate the game, not the-"

"I'M HATING THE PLAYER, YOU SON OF A-"

"SHUT UP, YOU DAMN IDIOT BASTARDS STUPID ASSHOLES DICKHEAD IDIOTS!" Izuru spat out, jumping of his bed and spinning around his pillows like nunchunks. "I'M ARMED WITH NORMAL SIZED PILLOWS THAT HAVE ANIME GIRLS ON THEM AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"STOP YELLING, I'M TIRED!" Ban screamed.

"ME TOO-! OF FUCK THOSE THINGS!"

Izuru's target became the ringing trio of phones. He threw his pillows away and grabbed them all in one head, ready to throw them out of the window he smacked open if not for Tate and Ban holding him back.

"REEEEEEEEEEEEE NO MORE ALARM CLOCKS, THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED ARLM CLOCKS REEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE ALL MY SAUCE NUMBERS IN THERE AND I DON'T HAVE ANY BACK-UPS! THE SACRED TEXTS, IZURU, THE SACRED TEXTS!" Ban screeched.

"SCREW YOUR UNREAD DOUJINS, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'LL PAY ATTENTION TO THE ACTUAL WORLDS, YOU JSUT WANT THE GOOD DRAWINGS!"

"THAT'S THE POINT!"

"HOLD BACK ON THE MORNING RAGE, MIYUKI! LET ME DELETE MY BROSWER HISTORY FIRST!" Tate cried.

"USE INCOGNITO LIKE A NORMAL TEENAGER OR SUFFER! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOU ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?! I WAS HAVING A GOOD SLEEP, DAMMIT! MY FACE DOESN'T HAVE TO SUFFER YOUR CONSEQUENCES!"

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT APPEARANCES!" Ban replied.

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M OKAY WITH NOT HAVING SLEEP, I'M STILL CATCHING UP ON MY SLEEP LOST FROM SUMMER!"

"BUT THOSE EYEBAGS-"

"THEY'RE GENE-"

Their idiotic yelling and screaming ended when the bedroom's door was kicked open with enough strength to form a small crack across it. The three teenagers looked back at the angry middle age woman standing on the other side, wielding a broom in each hand.

"Oh no." Tate squeaked.

"Staying here the night before the trip was a bad idea." Ban squeaked too.

"Forget the trip, the goal is not dying now." And even Izuru squeaked.

"You kids... SHUT UP AND GO EAT!"

"Y-YES SAWADA-SAN!" The three yelled.

"Nomnomnomnomnom!" Tate muttered as he happily munched on the pancakes made for breakfast. "Oh sweet pancakes, is there anything better than you?"

"Yeah, this tea." Ban said, taking another sip. "Holy crap, this really is the ultra good stuff!"

"You learn how to make good tea after raising three problematic teenagers." Yu giggled.

"Three? Thought you only had one brother." Ban said, looking at Izuru.

"And I do, the third one is my cousin. He came to Japan when Ryuuga's second year started and crashed here until those two got their own apartment." Izuru explained, opening the fridge. "What the hell are all thse cans of coffee doing here? Who drinks this stuff?"

"Man, we three should get our own place too! It'd be mega dope to set shop out in Ikebukuro!" Tate said, his eyes glimmering with happiness.

"What a great idea! Just like Ryuu-chan and Joe-chan did, you three should live together one day too!"

"Hell no!" Izuru replied. "I'm staying in this house until I get one for myself. I can't go live with friends or else I get closer to becoming like Ryuuga!"

"How's that a bad thing? Ain't the guy a big name?" Ban asked.

"You were there when we flashed a black light on his old bedroom last night."

"Yeah, that's a good point."

"That's not just why he's against the idea of moving in with a friend. Y'see, back when Ryuuga and Joe went to live together, something known as the Sawada Traditions began." Tate snickered. "Miyuki's got his hands full with already being on the overworked route, if he goes out to live with friends, then all he has left to do is get himself a girl and ask her to marry him during high school!"

"What a great idea!" Yu beamed.

"It's a terrible idea! And it's getting a violent maid in my everyday life, not living with friends! And why are the coffee cans here, I still want an answer!"

"Oh, those are for my friend. The coffee machine at her workplace broke these past few weeks."

"Eh?" 'Oh no.'

"Good morning, Yu-chan!" Sumireko greeted, walking into the Sawada house like if she lived there too.

'What are you doing here...'

"Hey, it's the clinic lady!" Tate said.

'Oh god, oh fuck, please shut up, Tate...'

"How do you do, fellow youths?" Sumireko asked, walking past the shocked Izuru and grabbing herself one of the cans of coffee.

"Why are you here..." Izuru muttered.

"Didn't I tell you already that me and Yu-chan are the bestest of friends? That and, well, I threw the old coffee machine out. The thing really was on its last few legs. Anyway, you two must be Izuru-kun's friends! I heard alot about you from him. I'm the one who takes care of him when he gets in stupid things involving his fists. Name's Hanagata Sumireko, a fellow youth."

"I didn't know people our age could be doctors already." Ban said. "Hi, I'm Ban Katsuhito."

"Stop flirting with my doctor's, she's almost on her fourties, she's Aimi's mom!" Izuru spat out.

"Even better. Name's Serebryakov Tametomo, but Tate's just fine, Hanagata-san." Tate said.

'Oh I can feel my anti-youth speech making its way up to my mouth already...' Izuru thought, his right eye twitching.

"So, you boys excited for the camping trip?" Sumireko asked, sitting down on the couch.

"Heck yeah! An amazing three day camping trip for those who's grades didn't suck! Three awesome days camping that ends with a massive bonfire, and according to the legends of the place, if you hold hands with a special somone during the bonfire, you two will be together forever! I'm securing myself a bunch of wives!" Tate excitedly explained.

"I'm in it for the thing where you cook with other students. We never did that on my old school." Ban said. "Of course I'm not letting his guy nowhere near the food until it's ready, I don't want to eat something worse than dog food!" He laughed, slapping the back of the dying inside Izuru.

'Maybe I should get my own place sooner...'

"So the big thing's that romance legend? Wow. Let me give you a word of advice." Sumireko took a swig of the coffee and sighed. "Ah, that's the stuff alright. Now where was I? Oh yeah. The problem with you young guys is that you're all idiots. Stick with me on this, you're about to learn how to unfuck yourselves."

'Oh god, I've seen enough on the internet to know how this speech ends!'

"What you young guys need is to leave younger girls to play with their toys and their bullshit and find a woman. There's plenty of mature, older women who can appreciate a fine young stud around the house. Helping with the chores, rubbing their backs, loving them, supporting them, and fucking them senseless. Y'know, the critical parts of marriage. You can probably get hooked up with an older gal as a boy-toy if you'd like, as long as you know where the rich bitches hang out. I know a guy who backed a cute CEO. Been married a couple of yours now. They even moved to another country. All he does is give her the love, support and aggressive fucking she needs. We have everything you need. Developed minds, developed bodies, like these sweater kittens you keep sneaking peeks at."

The three boys looked up at the ceiling.

"I didn't say stop. Keep looking. If I didn't want you to, I'd have said something. Women will straight up talk to you, we can handle our own shit. That's what makes a relationship healthy. Two halves don't make a man but two holes make something more, usually with some really raunchy sex. Women tend to have a handle on their desires, have you followed me there, yeah?"

"S-school couldn't have taught me this much..." Tate muttered.

"Knowledge truly is the strongest weapon, huh..." Ban nodded.

"We're leaving this instant..." Izuru spoke up.

"Huh?"

"I SAID WE'RE LEAVING THIS INSTANT!" He let out in an unholy screech.