Judy fretted and fussed over us as we walked through the door, complaining about how we should have brought an umbrella with us; Harry and I just smiled and told her that we were perfectly fine and had been cared for by a kind waitress.

The sky was now a crystal blue with not even a cloud in sight, and the idea that rain had fallen seemed so strange until you looked at the puddles on the road.

The rest of the afternoon was spent playing chess with Harry (I always lost) and watching TV which I had missed. It was so alien to me that we were doing such normal things when a majority of my life had been manically messed up. My mind felt at peace with itself and all was well.

****
Night fell over us and I clambered my way up the stairs with heavy eyes and a worn out body- I was still exhausted from the many days that we had spent running. Harry was already laying down, eyes facing the ceiling, with the covers pulled up to his chin.

He was so different- almost child like. Maybe now that he had someone to look after him (Judy) he didn't feel the responsibility to be so mature.

"Night Harry," I whispered as I flicked off the lights, letting darkness embrace the room. After hearing him whisper a 'good night' back, I let myself wander into the land of dreams.

***

"Get off me! No! I said no!" Harry's screams woke me up and I looked at him terrified. His face was warped into a look of complete fear and sweat trickled down his forehead like a stream.

Shaking him vigorously, I willed him to wake up and snap out of his bad dream. It reminded me of the night in the field, where he had woken up so guarded and defensive. That had been our first argument.

Slowly, his eyes opened and looked at me as if I was a ghost or merely a figment of his imagination. He stroked my face as if to see if I was real, before quickly retracting his fingers leaving me feeling cold where his hands had been.

"I told her no," he whispered with eyes as big as planets. His mouth was parted slightly and I could hear the shaking of his breath.

"Who did you tell no to? And why?" I asked, stroking his back as he quivered where he sat.

"My girlfriend raped me Matilda," he said in nothing more than a whisper and I could have missed what he said entirely if I wasn't so close to him. My heart dropped as he spoke and I wrapped my arms round him even tighter, wanting to shield him from everything bad in the world.

He spluttered out a cough and wiped his cheeks with the duvet, before looking away as if he was embarrassed. But he had nothing to be embarrassed.

"It broke me, it ruined all self respect I had for myself. It made me feel numb, that's why I cheated on her- to feel loved again. How pathetic does that sound?" he was now almost shouting and I placed my finger over his mouth so he didn't wake Judy. As kind as she had been to us, I didn't think that she would be able to help a weeping Harry who was screeching about the injustice of his past.

"Just tell me everything Harry, don't miss anything out this time," I stroked his arm and he looked me in the eye before telling me the whole of his story.

"We had been dating for around a year and of course we had slept together beforehand. Don't be shocked, I lost my virginity at thirteen. One night she just showed up at my bedroom and climbed through the window. I thought she just wanted to chill but she obviously had other intentions.

I wasn't in the mood and she told me that I was insulting her, she took it personally. I really didn't want it, I wanted to just talk to her. Maybe watch a movie. Instead she pinned me down to the bed and I lay there helplessly as she pulled off my clothing. I told her no. I told her to get off. But she didn't.

I was too weak, too scrawny to push her off. She hurt me, she forced me to do things I didn't want to do. I felt used. Abused. But most of all- ashamed. So ashamed.

I was always told that boys should always want sex, that they should be grateful whenever they can get it. But I didn't want it, and I told her that. When I told someone they just told me that I was lucky to have a girlfriend who wanted to have sex with me. I told my parents -I was that distraught- and they told me that she didn't mean me any harm.

Nobody called it what it was. It was a rape. I told her no! I told her no! It wasn't consensual. But no one cares when a man is raped because he is supposedly a 'lucky man'. I wasn't lucky. I was a victim."

"Harry I'm so sorry," I mumbled into his hair as I held him to my chest but I felt him tense up underneath me.

"I need to go on a walk alone just to clear my head," he muttered, wiping the last tears from his eyes. He stood up and walked out the room without saying anything else and I was left to sit in the dark, alone, and think about what I had been told.

I knew there was more he wanted to say, more feelings that were trapped inside of him, but I hoped that he would tell me in due time. I always hoped for things that would never happen.

Now you have Harry's full story, pretty sad right? Where is he going? Will he come back? You'll have to wait and see.

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