~She was free in her wildness. She was a wandress, a drop of free water. She belonged to no man and to no city.~
-Roman Payne-

Lurking in the deep waters and letting myself flow with the current had always been easy for me due to my tendency towards adaptiveness. I had always endured my scars with the valour of a soldier and gone through all the storms in my life with the skill of a sailor. But for once, I felt as if the waves were crashing down on me and I couldn't breathe. The blood dried in my veins and my helplessness dawned on me cruelly. In the hands of thrashing waves, I was still adaptive, only the storm was so deadly that it was breaking my valour and skill to pieces.

"No!!" A panicked whisper left my lips as I stepped inside the moonlit room and my eyes searched everywhere for the only girl I had fallen for in my whole life. My hands started trembling.

"Cara?" My voice came out shaky as my eyes scanned the circumference of the place but found her no where.

"No...!" I rubbed my sleep drunken eyes as they blurred slightly. All the deadly and horrible possibilities related to her absence rushed to my mind.

"This can't be true..." A strange numbness took over my whole body as I fell to my knees and covered my face with both of my hands. My body shook with the effort I was putting up to hold my tears back but the waves were very wild tonight. I was trapped in a cyclone in the middle of the sea, miles away from the shore.

My heartbeat raced furiously as I clenched my jaw and air wheezed through my teeth. Studies show that women often experience pain more intensely than men do. The amount of pain that rushed over me, after the numbness faded, feared me to infinity as I imagined the pain she had endured throughout her life.

I looked around in desperation, trying to find the silver that had painted my dreams for the past few nights. My eyes searched for her messy destroyed soul but returned to my empty hands in vain. She was gone.

Picking up the sheets, I brought them closer and hugged them tightly, digging my face in them and inhaling her faded scent.

"NOOOOOO!!!!!!" Letting out a muffled scream into the covers, I let the cyclone drown me into the depths of ship wrecks as my tears soaked into white sheets.

That was when I heard something. A melodious jingle in the night air.

The three silver bells.

Raising my tear filled eyes to look at the window, I located them hanging with the silver ribbon and twinkling magically in the moonlight. My only ray of hope.

Sweating profusely, I ran to the window as my gaze darted outside. I didn't know why she loved them so much but there was this thing I was sure about; she wouldn't leave these bells for the whole world.

The shore was sparkling and sand particles shone under the moonlight as if a lot of silver glitter had been scattered on the ground. A soft breeze caressed my tear soaked face as I looked out to the sea in search of my silver out of the silver night. After moments of sending desperate glances towards the reflecting water, I felt as if my eyes had seen her ethereal existence somewhere in the depths of the whole scenery, hidden and absorbed into magic.

The next moment, I was running out madly on the sand towards the sea where Cara Evelyn was walking on the water and when I say 'walking', I literally mean it.

Treading on the water towards the starry horizon as the water dissolved her existence slowly, she was leaving the world behind her while carrying her magic away from me to the mermaids and rolling waters. She was walking towards her death with a serenity that I had never seen before.

"CARA!" I shouted at the top of my lungs to stop her, my breath coming out all raspy and broken. My sides ached from all the crying and running but my steps didn't falter as I chased her to the center of our universe.

She kept walking away from me in an unknown trance that frightened me to death. Her senses were not perceiving anything and I felt as if she was drunken on something very magical because my voice didn't affect her even the slightest bit. Splashing into the water, I ran wildly to prevent her from falling into the sea. The silver on her head glittered impossibly in the night. She was already waist deep into the water and my heart hammered against my chest painfully.

"CARA!! STOP!!" Once again, I raised my voice as my lungs protested against the effort but she seemed to be ignorant of her surroundings.

"No..." I whispered as I realised that I had been too late to stop her when my silver dipped into the drowning depths of the Unknown.

"NOOOOOOO!!!!" Shouting out into the night air, I ran wildly and jumped into the water after her as strong waves thrashed me back, refusing to let me meet her. The world was conspiring to separate us tonight but I was not ready to adapt to it at any cost.

Fighting against the water, I dipped my head inside to look into the dark world under me for the only silver I craved tonight. Running out of breath after a few painful moments, I brought my face out of the water to breathe and the moment I did it, the waves thrashed back something at me. Something silver.

I could identify this silver in the crowds of millions. She was Cara Evelyn.

Enveloping her softness into my arms, I held on to it tightly as the stars looked down upon our shattered souls. Fighting for our lives, I thrashed my arms wildly to reach the shore as water filled my lungs. After a long painful struggle, the universe finally pitied us and the waves threw us back on the shore as we floated back to our harbour and lay on the soft sand, striving for air and all drained out. Water washed over our legs in slow intervals as I closed my eyes and hugged her tightly before kissing her soft wet hair. Every cell of my body pained terribly but I paid no attention to it because it was nothing compared to what she was going through at the moment.

With great difficulty, I raised myself up and looked down over her face. Her eyes were closed and the deep oceans were hidden somewhere behind her eyelids. A black substance painted her cheeks and I realised that she had been wearing makeup in her eyes before diving into the depths of insanity. Her lips were smudged with a dark shade of red which reflected a strange contrast with her pale moonlit face. Nothing was same about her except for her hair which were messy and silver as ever.

Slowly, I got up and carried her into my arms to the dry sand near the library. Her arms dangled down lifelessly as I laid her down and held my sides where the pain was becoming unbearable. I took a deep breath of air to fill oxygen in my lungs and as I did it, a wave of panic rushed through my body.

She lay there so lifeless and still that I could feel death looming somewhere closeby, ready to snatch her away from me any instant. Like a mad man, I bent over her quickly and held her wrist to check her heartbeat. A light flutter resonated its way through her skin to my finger tip as a sigh of relief escaped my lips. She was alive.

A trickle of salty water made its way down to her neck from the corner of her red lips. That was the moment I realised that I had to take out sea water from her lungs so that's what I did. Water spurted out of her mouth for the next ten minutes until she choked on it and let out a hoarse cough before fluttering her hauntingly beautiful eyes open. Looking down into them, I felt like life was slowly pouring itself back in my empty heart.

Gasping for air, her cold fingers held my hand tightly and after a few painful moments, she regained her breath while clunging on to me for support. Slowly, she raised herself from the sand and leaned into me comfortably. That was the thing about her; she always did things because she felt like it, no borders..no hesitations. Coughing a few more times, she rubbed her throat for air and I couldn't realise the precise moment when her cough shifted into a broken laugh.

"Wasn't it the-" Her voice came out hoarse and she rubbed her throat once again. "Wasn't it the best swim of our lives?" She raised her painted eyes to my face and I saw a million hidden scars beneath the blue.

"You took the life out of me, Cara Evelyn, and you call it a swim?!" Anger rolled into my veins as my arms tightened around her protectively.

"Don't spoil me, Aaron. I'm not used to such care." She shook her head but her wet silver hair kept hugging her face instead of ruffling over her head smoothly.

"I have been keeping my promise, haven't I? All these days, I've stood by you to watch the sunset beyond the horizon. I have read the books that you love. I accompanied you everywhere you wanted to go. Didn't I? Only to get this that I'm spoiling you? I'm not, Cara Evelyn! You call it love..." I hugged her closer to me and kissed the top of her wet head lightly. I still couldn't believe in the reality of the events of tonight.

"How would I know? I've never been loved..." She nestled into my chest as the sea breeze hit our wet attires to make us shiver from the cold. I enclosed her fragile body in the fading warmth of my arms.

"Learn to accept this love, Cara. It's coming your way in its lightest hue. Let it brighten your soul and forget the darkness residing in your heart. You nearly dumped me in the town of miseries tonight. I feel like a failure that after all these days, you still felt the need to dive into such insanity." I whispered the words slowly into her ear and took a deep breath as my voice broke at the end.

Instantly, she backed away from my hold. I tried to grasp her wrist but she pushed me back and stood up under the night sky. Swaying slightly, she closed her eyes while rubbing her forehead. I stood up quickly to steady her but she refused to take any help. Her cold stare met the worry in my eyes but in vain.

"You call it love, Aaron Troy? Watching sunsets, reading books..this is love?" Her voice was raw and bitter. I shook my head helplessly as words escaped my mind.

"Shall I tell you what is love??" She shouted at me and her voice echoed as the sea air carried it into the waves. My fingers rolled by my side in desperation as I feared her next move and my fear proved to be true.

Bending down, she picked up sand in both of her fists and threw it at me as I raised my hands just in time to cover my face. Wisps of sand hit my body over and over as I tried to stop her by letting out muffled cries of her name into my hands. Gradually, I turned around as the flowing dirt hit my back in short intervals.

"Cara, please stop!" I let out a desperate plea into the night air. That's when the blows stopped all together and I felt a strong hold on my upper arm that turned me around to face the wildest girl who was trouble herself, but I was so helpless because I had fallen for this trouble out of all the world.

"This is your love? You can't take this dirt..huh? You turned your back to me and you say you love me? Diving into the sea and saving me made you think your love is complete?" The oceans in her eyes crashed insanely as I felt her hold grow tighter on my upper arm.

"I have never been loved in my life, Aaron Troy, because no one has ever taken my dirt. I don't know what it feels like to be loved but I do know what it feels like to love!" Her gaze penetrated through my soul and bore a strange fading ache deep inside me somewhere.

"I have taken this dirt with a beautiful smile and yearned for more of it, Aaron Troy. Don't tell me you love me when you can't even take my dirt." Kicking the sand under her feet, she dropped down to her knees and fisted it in her hands before rubbing it over her arms wildly. It flowed down her almost dry arms but she kept rubbing it nonetheless as fresh tears flowed down over the black trail of eye make up smudged on her cheeks. Hurriedly, I gathered her into my strong arms while she struggled against me feebly.

"You're hurting yourself!" I shook her shoulders to bring her out of the trance. The waves crashed noisily against the shore as I looked over her crazy moonlit face.

"I'm already hurt. Let me go, Aaron! I need this Earth all over me. Why don't you shoot me? I want this Earth to envelope me completely. Please shoot me. Please...." Her voice muffled into my chest as I hugged her tightly and lifted her up in my arms to carry her inside. Her body relaxed against me as I laid her down on the mattress before covering her body with a warm blanket.

"I won't shoot you ever, Cara Evelyn. Take this thought out of your mind." I rubbed her hand slowly as her drained body lay lifelessly by my side. A cold metal touched my palm so I squinted down to see what it was.

She was wearing two rings in her forefinger and middle finger each. They were identical with the shape of a dreamcatcher carved on them. The only difference lied in their colours; while the one on the forefinger was golden, the other one was silver. Tiny metal feathers hung with the rings delicately as they reflected moonlight. She was almost asleep and didn't notice my observation episode. The jingle of the three silver bells ringed melodiously in the air and brought me out of my reverie. The rings were a sheer piece of beauty.

A whole hour passed while I sat by her side and looked over her. I smiled at they way she had fallen asleep, slowly and all at once like a little child. Ignoring all the pain we had went through the night, I just focused on the fact that she was safe and breathing near me. I had known it that I was bringing trouble to my doorstep the first night I had offered her to stay with me but I didn't care anymore about it. If her idea of love was related to pain, then pain it must be.

"I love the Cara hidden in bells and dream catchers. I adore the Cara playing around in rain puddles with a childlike laugh. I fell for the Cara that walks mysteriously among the moonlit alleys of my library. The Cara who has affection for the sea and the wilderness, who has fondness for the odd things out, who dances better than I walk...who finds abstract art appealing. I love the Cara who plays violin and has a heavenly voice. I love the brighter side of Cara Evelyn." Softly, I spoke to her in a hushed voice as the nostalgic scent of old paper mixed with her fragrance around us. The rings felt warm under the hold of my hands now.

"But if you want me to live with the Cara who's dissolved in her shattered past, who owns a pistol and has a broken heart, who cries a lot and falls apart, who's wild and carries trouble around..well..I'll take her dirt and love her then. I'll take the pain and be your solace, Cara Evelyn." Slowly, I bent down to kiss her forehead as a smile made its way to my lips. I was more than happy that she was back in the confinements of my safety. Shuddering lightly at the image of my silver disappearing into the sea, I hesitated before getting up and walking to the door of the room.

Reaching for the door knob, I was just about to step out when her unexpected voice halted me midsteps and made my feet glued to the floor. It was a very sleep drunken and a light whisper that floated its way through the moonlit air and made me close my eyes in agony.

"You forgot to say goodnight, Aaron Troy."

She surely knew how to gift pain better than anyone.

Author's Note

I know this chapter sucks and I am not at all happy with it. So sorry my dear readers. :(

I am so sleepy right now, I don't know what I have typed. Please tell me honestly that should I continue or am I wasting your time? :(

Take care..
Hazel ♥♡