WE WALKED IN SILENCE AS the wind blew and the saltwater made its way to our bare feet. We held ice cream cones—one in each hand—and our hands were covered with it. Children screamed as they constantly ran in and out of the water. Their parents followed to make sure nothing bad would happen to the little ones they loved so much. I wanted nothing more than to be a child and not have to worry about paying bills or anything of the sort. 

Greysen licked some of the ice cream off of his hand and asked, "So, favorite color?"

"Emerald green," I answered almost immediately. "Not a single shade lighter and not a single shade darker."

"That was a very specific answer."

I shrugged my shoulders, "I like being specific."

"Favorite movie?"

"If all of the Disney princesses were combined into one movie, that would be my favorite movie. No doubt about it."

"So, what? I'm assuming you don't have one at the moment?"

"Not at the moment," I sighed, suddenly wondering when I last stepped foot into a movie theater.

"Maybe that Disney princess movie dream of yours will come true one day."

"It needs to happen immediately."

"Agreed."

We made ourselves comfortable on the sand and I licked the melted ice cream off of my hands. Greysen was already more than halfway finished with his first cone and he was about to get started on his second. I, on the other hand, have not had a single bite of either of my cones. I was too busy thinking about why they did not hire me at Fred's Diner. I was too busy thinking about what would happen if I was unable to find a second job. Thinking was all I ever did now and it was bothering the hell out of me. 

I glanced around the beach to see other people sitting on towels and blankets. I looked down at the sand and wished we had brought something of the sort. While everyone else was somewhat safe from the sand we were sitting on it, letting our thighs bake against it. I was still thankful for Greysen bringing me here. Instead of taking me home, he decided to cheer me up and it was working a little. 

"Thanks for bringing me to the beach and buying the ice cream. I'm having a really good time."

"Me too," Greysen said, shoving the rest of his cone into his mouth. "Except, I brought you here so I could get to know you better but I feel like we're still in square one. You're a hard person to get to know, Sydney Evans." He had managed to get ice cream on the sides of his mouth and I chuckled softly to myself. 

I moved my hands away from my dress as some of the ice cream dripped from its cone, "Well, that's the point. You're not supposed to figure me out."

Greysen looked at me and for a moment, I was unable to read him. He looked slightly confused but his eyes were looking me all over. It was as if he knew I was hiding something but he was trying to figure out what I possibly had to hide. I looked like someone who grew roses in their garden for a living and got suspicious whenever someone looked at them a certain way. Slowly, Greysen licked his ice cream and looked me over once more before opening his mouth. 

I expected him to confront me about hiding something but instead, he nodded his head and said, "Deep."

"Shut up," I said and playfully shoved him with my shoulder. 

"They're stupid for not hiring you," he said, causing my smile to disappear. "I bet you'd be great there. I mean, if you can handle working with Harry and Clare, you can handle working anywhere." 

Harry.

Thump. Thump. Pause. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. Look at the ocean. Breathe. Remember to breathe. Thump. Thump. Inhale. Thump—

"Hey, your ice cream is melting. Want me to take one off your hands?"

I blinked and shook my head, "You still have one more to eat. Besides, I can eat mine. I'm just mesmerized by the view."

"Beautiful, huh? I come here when I need to think. The sound of the ocean calms me. I thought it would do the same for you since...you know. It probably isn't working because you seem so tense and distracted."

"No, no, it's working. I just don't know where to go from here." I admitted. "I honestly thought they were going to hire me but they already had seven people coming in for interviews. I guess they didn't like what I had to say about that."

"What did you say? You never exactly told me and I'm eager."

"I told them to stop being stupid and make the number even."

"Ah, I see."

"They didn't look pleased." I frowned.

"You never told me why you need this second job."

"I do remember saying it's for personal reasons. Therefore, I will not allow myself to tell them to you."

"You're stubborn."

"And you're curious."

"Aren't we all?"

"I've been told many times that I'm the best at keeping secrets."

"I'm still not telling you."

"Oh, come on!" Greysen began to pout and I returned the gesture. 

I turned my attention to my melting ice cream cones and went back to licking it off of my hands. Greysen ate his remaining cone and we sat there in silence. I watched the waves and, every now and then, licked my ice cream to prevent more from melting on my hands. When we first started walking, I decided to pull my hair out of its bun. I quite enjoyed the feeling of my hair blowing in the wind. 

I wiggled my toes and stared back in the direction of where we left our shoes. I thought it would be wise to bring them with us or leave them in the car but our hands were full with strawberry and vanilla ice cream cones. It was too late to make a rational decision. The only wise decision I made was to leave my purse in the car underneath the passenger's seat. 

Greysen elbowed me gently, "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

"I've only known you for almost two months," I rolled my eyes. "I feel like if I told you, you'd run around screaming it for the entire world to hear." 

"That isn't true because a) I'm not fit enough to run around this entire beach and b) even if I screamed it out, the entire world wouldn't hear it. Maybe a couple people but not everyone. I bet no one would miss them if we kidnapped them and held them hostage until they swore to secrecy."

"You've got this all figured out, yeah?"

"As of five minutes ago, yes."

"Fine," I handed him one of my ice cream cones and he did not hesitate to start eating it. I went ahead and handed him my second one, too. There was no way I could explain my situation to him and eat ice cream at the same time. "I need a second job because the herb shop isn't paying enough." He nodded his head but he did not seem to understand. "I can barely afford the house I'm living in and if I don't come up with something, I'm going to get kicked out. I can't get kicked out because I'll have nowhere to go."

"Shit," Greysen choked. "What are we doing here, then? We need to go get you a new job!" 

"It's no use. I've been reading the newspapers and the only other job offering that offers a lot of money is being the clown at birthday parties."

"Did you call them?"

"I'd rather throw myself on an ant pile."

"That's gruesome."

"I don't know what to do," I frowned. "I could call about the clown job but do I honestly look like the type of person who would do that?"

"You honestly look like a librarian."

"Thanks," my frown deepened.

Greysen stood up and licked both of the ice cream cones, "All right. Come on, Sydney. We're going to go job hunting." 

I looked up at him, "Don't you have to get back to work?"

"My dad is a reasonable guy. I think he'll understand when I tell him my friend is in the middle of a crisis." I threw him a look and he swallowed. "Or...not."

I stood up, too, and followed Greysen back to where we left our shoes. We walked in silence and I listened to everyone else having the time of their lives. I wished we could stay a little while longer but Greysen was right. If I wanted that second job, I had to look for it like there was no tomorrow. Each step I took was full of determination and hope. Sure. Fred's Diner was not for me. But there was something out there for me and I had to look for it. I knew damn well it was not going to come looking for me. 

I was too busy thinking about how I was going to find my second job that I did not notice Greysen stopped walking. My body slammed into his and I staggered back, bewildered by what just happened. Greysen rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the sand awkwardly. I looked downward, too, wondering what in the world made him stop walking. His eyebrows rose, causing multiple lines to form on his forehead, and he slowly met my gaze. 

"Are you okay?" I asked. 

"Sydney," my name gradually stretched out of his mouth. "Where did we leave our shoes?"

"Oh," it was my turn to rub the back of my neck. "We left them..."

My sentence trailed off as I realized that I, too, had no idea where our shoes were. I looked around the beach and my lips parted when I was unable to see our shoes on the sand. We left them in a obvious spot and now that I thought about it, we had passed the obvious spot. Was it because our shoes were not there? My hands moved to my hips and I shook my head. This was not happening. How did one lose a pair of shoes?

"Do you think someone stole them?" I looked at Greysen. 

"Someone or something," he replied. 

"Something?" I laughed a mirthless laugh. "Are you saying a pelican took them?"

"No," he did not seem the slightest bit amused. "I'm saying the tide could have pulled them out to sea. See where we're standing?" I was never given the opportunity to speak. "The sand is moist. While we were talking, our shoes could have been pulled out to their deaths. It looks like our feet are going to be bare for a while."

"What are we going to do?"

"We'll stop by a store and pick up some more shoes."

"Oh, no, Greysen, I can't afford—"

"I'll pay for them. I'm sure they have flip flops for a dollar somewhere. You don't have to pay me back. I'll steal a dollar out of Logan's wallet when I go see him tonight."

"You're seeing Logan tonight?"

"Yeah, he needs a break from Amelia and the baby," he explained and I tilted my head to the side. "Oh, he isn't leaving her or anything. He just hasn't been out with any of the guys lately and Amelia is letting him out of the nest tonight for a couple of hours. That woman has him whipped."

We started walking back to Greysen's car and the more we walked, the more sand covered our wet feet. I waited for him to say something about rinsing our feet off but he never said a word. When he got inside of his car with sand still covering his feet, I assumed it was all right for me to do the same. I grabbed my purse from underneath the passenger's seat and sat it on my lap as I got comfortable. Greysen turned the key in the ignition and his vehicle roared to life. I buckled my seat belt as we backed out of the parking spot and made our way to whatever store Greysen had in mind. 

I stared out of the window and my heartbeat quickened with excitement. Just thinking about how this job hunting would go made me excited and it sent me in a frenzy. Greysen looked calm but I could not help but notice how the corner of his lips was slightly curled upward. I pressed my forehead against the window and closed my eyes. The radio was on but it was not the same music we were listening to on the way to Fred's Diner or on the way to the beach. It was a regular radio station and I was tempted to ask Greysen to play his CD. 

"Have you ever thought about moving into another place? You know, one that you can afford?"

"Hmm?" I remove my forehead from the window. 

"I know some apartments that aren't expensive. Have you ever considered that?"

"I just moved into this house, though. My lease isn't up and I can't go anywhere until it is. I'm stuck at there until otherwise."

Greysen sighed and pressed a button, turning the radio off completely, "Okay. What about moving in with someone? A family member, perhaps?"

"My family is back in Oregon."

"Jesus," he, for the second time, sighed. "You really do need this second job. What about a security guard? You any good at protecting things?"

"I have the strength of a cooked spaghetti noodle."

"So, I guess that's out of the drawing pool. We bought ice cream from an ice cream truck earlier. You interested in that?"

"I can't—"

"For someone who needs this job, you sure do complain a lot. Be thankful for what you get, yeah? There is always someone who has it far worse than you."

"I know," I pout. "I just don't want to do anything I know I won't be able to do."

"Driving an ice cream truck is something you can't do?" Greysen asked, making a left turn. 

"I've never done it before."

"You can learn. I bet it isn't even that hard. If you can fix your own ice cream, you can fix ice cream for someone else. Now, if you can't even fix ice cream for yourself, we have a serious issue." I hit him on the arm and he chuckled. "I can always talk to my dad and see if there's anything you can do." 

"Really?" I was shocked. 

"Yeah," Greysen nodded. "I don't think you know much about fixing cars, though."

My heart shattered, "I don't know anything about fixing cars, Greysen."

"Maybe you can sweep the floors or something? I mean, how desperate are we here?"

"Very," I said. "We're extremely desperate."

"When do you need this job by?"

"As soon as possible. I don't know when they're going to give me the eviction notice. I've received plenty of warnings about my rent being late but there's nothing I can do about that right now. I don't have the money. I could barely afford the house when I first moved in but I was so eager to get away from Portland."

"Why?"

My eyes widened and I looked back at the window. I should have expected such a question from Greysen. I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth and tried to think of what I was going to say. I knew it was impossible for him to tell the truth. My mother did not even know the full truth. I only told her the part she wanted to hear. She never knew where I went wrong. She still thought her only daughter was an angel and that she was tricked. God, she was wrong. I was not tricked into doing what I did. I agreed to doing it without thinking twice about the consequences. 

"Sydney?"

I looked over at Greysen and he had his eyes on the road. I did not want to lie but I had no other choice. I barely knew this man and I had no idea if he could handle the truth—my truth. I shook my head at myself and opened my mouth, hoping whatever came out was convincing. 

"I grew up there," I started. "I've been in Portland my entire life and I had never been out of Oregon. It was finally time for me to leave. I'm old enough to do things on my own and I thought I would travel the world."

"So your first stop was Seattle?"

"I'm starting out small. I'm slowly inching my way away from home." I explained. "Who knows where I'll end up next?"

"Wait," Greysen stopped at an upcoming red light and turned his head to look at me. "You're not staying here?"

"I said I wanted to travel the world," I said, my heart aching. 

"How long do you plan on staying here?" he wondered. "Because if it's not for long, there's no point in us looking for this second job. You might as well pack your stuff up, right? And move on to wherever you're going next?"

"I'm not leaving anytime soon," I reassured him and the light turned green. "I just can't stay in one spot, Greysen. I'm sure you understand."

"I've been here my entire life," he snapped and started speeding up a little. "So, no, I don't understand why you must pack everything up and move around constantly. What's so wrong with Seattle, huh? Does it not meet your standards? Let me guess. Your final destination is California because that's where everyone goes."

"Can you chill out and slow down?" my eyes were slightly wide. 

"You don't get it, do you?" 

"I—"

"I know why you're leaving. It isn't because your one wish is to travel the world. It's because you're running away from Harry. I saw your reaction when I mentioned him earlier. He has a girlfriend, Sydney, and he isn't going to leave her for you."

"Stop reminding me!" it was my turn to snap. "Pull over."

"What?" he sounded surprised. "Are you mad because I'm speaking the truth? There is no possible way you can escape them. Once you leave, the feelings go with you. There's no such thing as abandoning feelings!"

"Pull over and let me out of the damn car!" I screamed, my eyes glossing over. 

"Do you even know where we are?"

"Greysen, I swear to God if you don't pull over right now!"

"Fine," he muttered and pulled the car over to the side of the road. 

I took off my seat belt and threw the car door open. Once I got out, Greysen sped off before I even had the chance to shut the door back. It closed on its own from the wind and I was left alone on the side of the road with sand covered feet and a clueless mind. I had no idea where I was and I suddenly felt stupid for getting out of the car. I closed my eyes and took slow, steady breaths. I could figure out how to get back home. I knew I could not afford it, but I would call a taxi if need be. I opened my eyes and laughed at myself. As much as I hated to admit it, Greysen was right. There was no way I could escape the truth.

My feelings were here to stay.