THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THE way early morning made someone feel. It was always quiet, and still my favorite part of the day. Mostly everyone was asleep at this time and the environment just seemed so much peaceful. I did not have to worry about any type of noise bothering me and I did not have to worry about any headaches threatening to form. After about one in the morning, I had learned that was when mostly everyone shut down in their homes. It was only a little while after two and I was more than just wide awake.

I was exhilarated.

I had finally managed to unpack every single box in my new home and everything was properly put in their place. I was extremely proud of myself for being able to get this done in only a short amount of time. I thought I would not finish unpacking for another week but I had clearly proved myself wrong by getting it all done tonight. The pile of empty boxes piled by the front door and my plan was to find a dumpster to leave them at before I went to work.

I was now drinking a cup of tea at the kitchen table, staring at the blank wall ahead of me. I could have gone to sleep after unpacking, but I was not up for it. This was my second night here and I was not quite comfortable with it. I fell right to sleep last night because I was too exhausted to try to fight against my eyelids. Tonight, however, I was wide awake and I was going to take advantage of it. Why force myself to sleep when I was not even tired?

My fingers ran along the top of my mug and I stared down at the translucent beverage. Smoke rose from the mug but I knew the tea was no longer burning hot. I had already taken a few sips and my tongue did not burn at all. I stirred the liquid with my teaspoon and watched the liquid hit the sides of the mug as if it was trying to escape. I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth and tilted my head to the side. My first, full day of living in Seattle had been completed and I did not know how to feel about it. For the first day, it was excruciating and tiring. I was supposed to be keeping my head down and avoiding chaos at all costs. Instead, I was running right for it. I already made someone hate me and I was certain I was not going to keep my job for much longer. I was already stressed.

After I gave Harry his earphones back, we went our separate ways until it was time for me to go home. Surprisingly, I did not get yelled at when I returned the earphones to him. I assumed he would accuse me of stealing them but he did no such thing. He just quietly thanked me and attached them to his little iPod. Since he did not yell at me, I took that as a sign. I was sure to keep my distance from both him and Jillian. She left before any of us did, though. It turned out she had to go pick up one of her friends from work. I had heard her telling Harry this when I went to go to the restroom. The two of them were hanging out by the door and I could not help but listen. When you had to go, you had to go. You could not stop the conversations going on around you. You could not help but to listen, either.

Harry was supposed to leave an half hour after me but I was more eager to leave the shop than he was. I was emotionally exhausted and all I wanted to do was just lay down in my bed. I took a small nap as soon as I got home and that was probably why I was wide awake now. I did not mind, though. I liked being up at this time. The only company I had were the photos on the breakfast bar and the tea sitting right in front of me. I was not going to try to have a conversation with my drink, though. I was mad...but not that mad.

My purse sat on the other side of the table and I reached for it, immediately remembering I had a pack of gum in there somewhere. I did not like gum very much but when I did buy it, it was gone within the next day or two. Whenever the flavor disappeared, I would trade it out for a new piece until my jaw would start to ache. My wallet fell out of my purse and the first thing I saw was my driver's license. I stopped looking for the pack of gum and frowned at the sight of the photo of me. I glanced down at the name and tugged at my hair.

Sydney Evans.

I was still getting used to the name. I had gone by Gwen Walker for most of my life and the sudden name change still confused me. I changed into a completely new person a couple of days before I left for Seattle. I thought it would be a good idea to have a new identity. I had new credit cards and everything for this Sydney Evans. I was no longer Gwen and I had to get used to it. As far as everyone else knew, Gwen was dead. She died when I became someone new. My mother still tried to call me by the name she gave me and I had to constantly remind her of my new name. Jett, on the other hand, did not have a clue about my identity change. He did not have a clue about anything. I was not going to let him find out, either, so he still called me the name he knew me by.

I forced my wallet back into my purse and moved it to the side. I was no longer interested in looking for the pack of gum. Pulling the mug up to my lips, I swallowed some of the tea and closed my eyes as the sweet, warm liquid ran down my throat. With each sip I took, I reminded myself of who I was. I could not let myself forget. However, I had to also remind myself of who I was currently. I could not risk forgetting about Sydney.

Your name was Gwen.

Sip.

But she is long gone now.

Sip.

Your new name is Sydney.

Sip.

The people here know you by Sydney, not Gwen.

Sip.

Forget all about your old name.

Sip. Sip. Sip.

Think about who you are now.

Sip.

Sydney, Sydney, Sydney...

I finished the tea and sighed with disappointment. I thought this was going to be easy but I was wrong. Forgetting about Gwen meant forgetting about my old life. I could not just forget about my old life. Even though it was filled with horrifying memories, there were amazing memories mixed in there somewhere. I rubbed my temples as some of my hair managed to cover my face. Even though I had a new identity, I still looked like Gwen. I still had her blonde hair, her brown eyes, her freckles, her everything. I removed my fingers from the sides of my head and I examined my hair. I knew I could not just suddenly change my eye color but I could suddenly change my hair color. If I went into work with different color eyes, Clare would probably freak out and fire me on the spot like she had hired me.

Tomorrow after work, I was going to go to the store and buy some hair dye. I would dye it darker, not lighter. I did not believe I could go much lighter than I was now. A dark brown would probably look nice...or any shade of brown, for that matter. I just had to get rid of the blonde. I stared up at my clock on the wall and stuck out my bottom lip. It was almost half past two in the morning. Were there any stores open right now? Since I was not tired, I felt like going out and buying the hair dye now. I had no idea if I would be able to dye it before work later on, though. It all depended on how I felt after getting home from the store.

I got up from the table and took my mug to the kitchen, sitting it by the sink. I was comfortably dressed in my pajamas and I did not feel like changing into outing clothes. I walked into my bedroom and slid my feet into my slippers. I knew some stores were closed as of right now but there had to be a couple of stores that were opened twenty-four hours. The thing was, I had to locate and find them. It would not take me long to find them. I had a GPS for this exact reason. I was new to Seattle and I did not have a clue where anything was. As of right now, I only knew where the herb shop and the little fast food restaurant were. I had passed by a bank earlier but I did not quite remember where I saw it.

It was warm when I stepped out of the house to lock the door and there was barely a breeze. I was comfortable in my jogging pants and tee back when I was in the house. Now, my legs felt hot. I moved quickly to my car and unlocked the doors. I got inside and locked the doors back before turning the key in the ignition. I backed out of the driveway and turned on the cool air. The radio was on but I was not listening to it. I had managed to block out the noise as I focused on the road ahead of me. I forgot to turn on my GPS but I was not worried. If I just memorized where I was going, I would be able to find my way back home.

I was practically sitting on the edge of my seat as I stared at the road ahead of me. My chin was almost to the steering wheel and I brightened my lights so I could see the dark road in front of me. There were not any stores around me just yet and I remembered the stores I passed on the way to the shop. Maybe one of those stores were open? I sat back against my seat and sped up a little bit. It would not hurt to go look and see. Besides, if none of them were open, I would just see some more of Seattle when looking for another store. I was tugging on my bottom lip harshly and afraid I was going to cut the skin, I let it go.

"Okay, Sydney," I sighed. "You have this all under control. Just keep your eyes on the road and get to the shopping center. You're almost there."

I believed I was talking to myself to keep myself concentrated. The littlest things were beginning to distract me and that was not safe while being out on the open road. It was still dark out and I had to be on the look out for deer. Hitting an animal was the last thing I needed. Killing one, actually, was the last thing I needed. I constantly looked to the sides at the trees and I went back to biting my bottom lip. Maybe I should have waited until tomorrow? A part of me wanted to turn around and go back home but my feet had something else in mind. I kept my foot on the gas pedal and kept making my way toward the stores I had seen yesterday.

By the time I actually made it to the stores, I was exhausted from trying to locate them. There were a couple of cars in the parking lot and I noticed they were parked in front of the huge store. The store I went to to get the new photo frame was right around the corner from where I lived but I did not remember seeing any hair dye in there. Then again, I was not looking. I parked my car imperfectly and grabbed my purse, getting out to go retrieve what I wanted.

The automatic doors opened and I was greeted with coldness. I wrapped my arms around myself as I walked deeper into the store. I passed by a couple of people and I wondered what they were doing out so early in the morning. Were they having trouble sleeping, too?

I soon enough found the aisle with the hair dye. My hands were now on my hips and I looked at all of the different colors. There were different shades of blonde, red and brown. For a store this huge, they did not have many options. I ignored the blonde and red colors. My eyes focused on the different shades of brown and I tried to decide on which shade I wanted. I did not want it to be too dark because my eyebrows were not that dark. I picked up the box with the color closest to my eyebrows and looked at the price. I had enough cash on me right now to pay for it. I was only going to use my credit cards for emergencies and this was not one of them.

I walked to the front of the store and grabbed a small bag of chips to eat on the way back to the house. I was no longer exhausted and if I still felt this way when I got back, I would probably dye my hair before going to sleep. It seemed like a good plan. The cashier smiled when I approached her and I handed her the two things I was going to buy. She scanned them and when she told me the price, I handed her a ten dollar bill.

"Did you find everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Thanks."

"Come see us again," she widened her smile as she handed me my bag along with my change. "Your receipt is in the bag."

"Thank you," I returned the smile and turned to go on my way.

My grip tightened on my bag and I hurried out of the store. My car was still where it was and I unlocked the doors, getting inside. I tossed everything on the passenger's seat and turned the key in the ignition. I listened to the sound of my car coming to life and I looked around me to make sure nothing was coming. It was after two in the morning. I would be surprised if some more people were coming to the store. I backed out of the parking spot and promised myself to stay focused on the ride back home.

I put a salty chip into my mouth and chewed on it slowly as I watched the dark road ahead. The clock in the car said it was ten after three. I still was not tired and I was determined to dye my hair. I wanted to do this sooner than later. The quicker it took me to look like a new person, the better everything would be. There was not much I could do to change my appearance but I was not that worried. My only concern was the outcome of all of this. Would I do it correctly? I was highly aware of the hair coming out a different color if something was not done correctly. Unlike the people who messed up, I was going to be extremely careful with every little thing I did. I refused to mess up on my hair. If it came out a completely different color, I would be drawing attention to myself.

Everything was still quiet when I got back to the house. The neighborhood was dark, everyone had their lights off and they were probably all asleep. I parked in the driveway and grabbed my now empty bag of chips, the bag from the store, and my purse. I locked the doors behind me and headed for my front porch. I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, pressing my back against the closed door. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It came out as a long, shaky breath. I walked into the kitchen and tossed the chip bag into the trash can. I pulled the box of hair dye out of the bag and examined it.

I was more than ready to get this over with.

I opened the box and pulled out all of the contents. The instructions were included and I pulled them out, reading over each step carefully. I nodded my head at each step, knowing I could do each and every one. My phone was in my purse and I went to go get it. It was a new phone and the only number I had was my mother's. I did not have any pictures or a lot of music. It was just a phone to keep in contact with my family. I did not need any of the extra stuff. I sat the phone on the counter just in case my mother called. I knew she would not, but I just wanted my phone nearby just in case someone called or sent me a text message.

I followed every step carefully and before I knew it, I was walking around the house with the hair dye sitting on my hair. I was sure to catch my roots, too. I did not want any part of my hair to be blonde anymore. This blonde hair belonged to Gwen and I was Sydney now. Sydney had brown hair, not blonde. I walked into my bathroom and turned on the light. I approached the mirror and looked at myself. I was not frowning or smiling. My lips parted and my eyes widened a bit. I was actually going through with this. I was letting go of my old life and all of the memories. Everything I knew in my old life was slowly vanishing. I was pushing everything away, out of my mind. This was it. I leaned forward and placed my hand against the mirror.

"Goodbye, Gwen."