Feeling abandoned by the older selves
As I indulge in healing myself
As a concept, healing is pretty
But here I am, stranded
Realising I was already everything I wanted to be

Sweet, kind, helpful, always there
Therapist, gentle, understanding without years of comprehension, swinging by whenever you need
A true friend indeed
Perhaps, not to me

Gaining experience causes losing some,
Everything got a price
Peace isn't entitled without chaos
Even if you tried
There's always a price
Jingling between your why's
Hidden within your eyes

Away from home, away from rules
Away from norms of dictation of feelings
Confused, excited, determined, and oblivious to what's to actually be
The story of me, the plot twist that never have I thought, included healing

Healing, setting boundaries, building courage to express,
Lost friends, indulgence in desperation, questioning everyone's intent
Over dependence, sweet sour tears
And an image of perfect mirror but broken cracks within the mind
Seething in anger,hatred, anxiety and juvenile

A lost sense of self, full of questions
Values as rage of seas, emotions as wind of storms and eyes as deserted as starless night

There is a block in my head now
I couldn't, just couldn't, return back to me
The world of wonders, bringing genuine happiness
The real world snatching the time
Now it's lost, somewhere down the memory lane of time

The world of feelings that I created within,
Lessons of the wise that people older couldn't grasp till death
Yet I knew, the world inside me

The forces of the haunting fears and hard questions that I frequently fled
Returned to me, creeping within the shadows of happiness
The shadows of feelings that I was told to suppresses
Looms within and over me
Created a blur of who I am and who I'm gonna be
Created a distance between me and my world

A turbulence within me, that finally rests in peace for awhile
Yet, my world's a desert now
I've lost a place, my true soul's home
All because of lingering feelings stabbed and hidden within and from me

Healing isn't wonderful I'll say
Gaining experience causes losing some 
Here I'm stranded, realising I was everything I wanted to be
Sure, I'm now a true friend
To me at least
Now
It's me
And her, the old self who abandoned me