CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX. *ೃ༄
❝ CONVERSATIONS OF THE PAST. ❞

( heavy chapter, fluff next)

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"Hey, I'm sorry for not responding! I was studying."

Nat smiled as soon as she heard Alex's voice when she had answered his call. It was around 9:30 PM and she had been worried, having texted him a good morning, some pictures of her day since he claimed he loved it, and even some pictures of herself, but he hadn't responded.

"It's okay, Alex," she breathlessly chuckled. "I don't mind. I was just worried because you usually respond in an instant."

"Yeah," he, too, chuckled before he put herself in her shoes and already knowing that if she had done the same, he would've been worried. "I'm sorry, though. I was going to send you a message but then I took a small nap and that small nap turned into hours, and I just woke up a couple minutes ago to pee."

"TMI," Nat said, small laughter escaping her lips. "And stop apologizing. I'm not gonna get mad. But, I feel bad because I feel like I must've been annoying you with the constant buzzing of my messages."

"Eh, I love reading the notifications as soon as they pop up," he said, shrugging with a small smile on his face. "They're the reason why I want to finish work early so I can talk with you and hear your face. My favorite part of the day for real."

She snorted, shaking her head at his cheesy words. "Shut up." He laughed along with her. "But, I'm sorry for bothering again."

"You never bother me," Alex reassured her and she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "If anything, I always love reading about your day. Your little updates are cute so never apologize for thinking you bother me or annoy me."

"I feel like if you said, 'it's okay' instead, I would've been very dramatic," Nat joked—no she didn't—as Alex continued laughing. "Are you ready for your test, though?"

"Honestly?" Silence. "Hell no. I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail. But, I do say that every time, and I eventually pass, so I'm hoping if I talk shit about my studying skills I'll pass."

"I'm pretty sure you telling me your plans is not something you're supposed to tell me, Alex," Nat responded to his comment and he stayed quiet again before letting out a long, dramatic sigh.

"You're right. I'm gonna fail now."

"I'm sure you're gonna do great, Alex," Nat smiled down at her phone as she put it on speaker and rested it against her chest while her back landed on her bed. He yawned softly. "Are you tired?"

"No," he sleepily mumbled.

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"I can hang up if you want," Nat frowned as she heard him sleepily murmuring incoherent words. "I don't want to annoy you or anything."

"If anything," Alex started, "your voice soothes me. So, please, continue talking while I fall asleep and if I do, stay on call okay? You never annoy me or anything. I feel safe with you."

Nat smiled at the way he went on a little rant, his words so soft that if he hadn't been on speaker, she was pretty sure she wouldn't have heard him.

"Okay then. I'll tell you all about how I almost got lost in the mall looking for the bathroom."

He chuckled at Nat's words before he closed his eyes and his mouth opened. "Also, don't overthink, okay?" She stayed quiet now. "I didn't ignore you on purpose or anything. I'm sorry I didn't message you and reassured you I was okay, just busy, and I'll call you when I'm free. I knocked out because I was worn out. So, don't think I was annoyed at you. If anything, again, you made me want to finish work and just get to you."

Nat smiled at the way he reassured her because knowing her, she would indeed overthink that maybe he was annoyed at her. She even thought about how he would be as a boyfriend, and even though she tried to hide away that thought, the way he read her so well without seeing her face made butterflies erupt in her stomach.

Her past relationships were always about how her overthinking was annoying, arguments arising instead of reassurance happening. Her clinginess was even called annoying and she felt like she was walking on eggshells when she lost herself to please her partners. All she needed was reassurance and someone who didn't call her annoying, yelled at her for being annoying, when all she wanted was to hear that she was loved and she was everything they've ever wanted.

It must've been too much to ask and she hid that part of herself. She can't stand being annoying to Alex.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice broke her out of her thoughts. There was silence before she hummed quietly.

"It's... kind of a deep topic," she answered a bit unsure if he wanted to hear since he was tired. But, he let her know to continue. "You reassuring me... means a lot in a way. I used to always overthink in past relationships and I never got reassured."

"Never?"

"No," Nat shook her head as a small smile spread on her lips. "I'm not the easiest person to love or understand, but I love so much. I just... can't process when someone loves me because why me, you know?" He hummed curtly, letting her continue. "My overthinking was considered annoying or too much and I would get so hurt when I would get the courage to talk about what I was feeling and I would get yelled at for being too much. I never talked about what I was feeling."

"Im sorry you had to go through that," Alex muttered, sighing as he couldn't believe someone as amazing as Nat wasn't appreciated. "I really am. I'll always be here to reassure you, okay? You never have to beg me for it. Just like I will always compliment you or do things for you, I will do them because I want to. You're an amazing person, Nat. I'm sorry you were hurt."

"If I hadn't been hurt, I wouldn't have met you, and it's been the best thing ever," now it was Alex's turn to grin like an idiot at her words. "Thank you for being there for me. Thank you."

Natalie couldn't help but smile as she heard him breathing.

"I'll always be here for you. Always. You can't get rid of me."

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Hi :)