Indigestion was not the only physical anomaly that God used to prepare me for the cancer diagnosis and treatment. He also made certain that I had the heart tests that would be needed before I could undergo chemo.

On a Saturday in December, I woke feeling normal. Wayne and I decided to go out to lunch. After we got to the restaurant and my salad arrived, I was overcome with a bout of nausea. I mostly pushed the salad around on my plate while Wayne began devouring his. About the time they brought our entrees, I knew that the nausea was going to lead to something more.

"Wayne," I said. "I think I'm going to throw up. Why don't you have them box up the food? We can take it home. I'm going to go out on the porch and see if the fresh air and the absence of food smells will help."

He flagged down the waiter while I made a quick exit. The desire to vomit was lessened outside, but I felt weak and light headed. As we walked to the car, nausea overwhelmed me. I threw up in the bushes.

I figured I must have picked up some kind of bug. When we got home, I went and lay down on my bed and tried to rest. My skin was clammy and cold, so I curled up under a blanket. After a while, I felt better and went into the living room, sat in my recliner and read the afternoon away.

That evening as we were watching TV, I suddenly had a sharp, radiating pain in my jaw. I had read about heart attack symptoms in women. Because it seemed so bizarre and unrelated, the one that stuck in my mind was jaw pain.

I told Wayne about the pain and what I had read about jaw pain's relationship to heart attack in women, just in case. He sort of shrugged and said he didn't think it meant anything. That sounded just like a man to me. In my experience, men tend to ignore serious symptoms because they hate to seek help from a doctor. Maybe it's a macho thing; real men don't ask for help or admit weakness. 

My intuition told me not to listen to my husband. Jaw pain combined with the nausea, throwing up, and clammy skin, sounded like a potential heart problem to me. After all, my father had heart problems. He'd had strokes and heart attacks. His arteries in his neck were roto-rootered in his 50s, and he had a quadruple bypass after a heart attack in his early 60s. I checked the Internet to make sure my memory of heart attack warnings was correct. All of the symptoms I had were possible signs of a heart attack, especially in a woman. I got up and took an aspirin.

Although the jaw pain eventually receded after I took the pill, my mind continued to plague me about a possible heart connection. I am not one to run to the doctor every time I have a pain, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to see one. On Monday I went to see my doctor. He too was concerned. He scheduled a bunch of tests, including a stress test. He scheduled every test that would be necessary before I could have chemo.

When I eventually talked to the oncologist, one of his first statements was that he would need to refer me to a specialist to have heart tests done. When I told him of the December tests, his response was, "That's great. I can just get copies of the records from your doctor. That will speed things up considerably."

God also knew that it would be helpful for me to see my sons before I began treatment. Our oldest, Caleb, lived in Guadalajara, Mexico. Our middle son, Micah, lived in Hong Kong. Our youngest son, Aaron, lived in New Orleans. I normally only saw my two oldest boys on Skype, except for once every year or two.

Sometime in the fall, Micah called.

"Hey, Mama," he said. "Daniel and I are going to be in the U.S. on February 14 for a friend's wedding. The wedding is in Philadelphia. I'll have a little time off. Why don't we all meet in New York for a mini family reunion."

We all decided it was a good idea. Thus, everyone already had tickets to spend several days in New York in mid-February, months before I had any inkling that I might have cancer.

The Bible tells us that God gives believers the desires of their heart and that he gives us more than we can even imagine. Long before I knew that I would need to see my boys face-to-face, God knew that would be the desire of my heart. He prepared things so that I could talk to my boys about the diagnosis and treatment options. He gave me a chance to get the hugs and family time I needed. God is truly good.

We spent several cold days in New York as a family. We talked about my cancer, but it did not overshadow our enjoyment of one another. We had a great time being tourists. I'd never seen the Statue of Liberty so we braved the cold winds to take the ferry out.

As I think of Lady Liberty with her torch held high, I am reminded of the light that God beams into our lives. He gives us a torch to hold high so that other's can find their way to him. The Bible tells us not to hide God's light under a bowl but to keep it out in the open where it can give light to all who are around us. I had been hiding my light. Cancer would give me the courage to remove the bowl that was covering the light of Jesus so that it could again touch the lives of those with whom I came in contact.

Another of God's provisions was a move. We lived in a rural parish in Louisiana. The nearest cancer treatment center was an hour's drive, one way. So to get any kind of treatment would have meant a two hour drive every time I needed to see a doctor, get chemo, or have blood work done.

Again, in the fall, long before the cancer diagnosis, Wayne and I decided that it was time to retire. Wayne's mother was bedridden. We had used a lot of annual leave over nine months, as our warden let us alternate spending two weeks in Prairieville with Carmen. We had eventually found a live-in caregiver so that we didn't have to miss so much work. We knew God led us to this Christian caregiver, and so we were surprised and shocked when she told us that she was going to resign. We were not planning to retire until the end of January. At that point, we planned to move in with Carmen and become her full-time caregivers. We couldn't speed up the process if we wanted to have a livable retirement income. Our niece, Carmen's granddaughter, agreed to stay with Carmen during the week until we retired, but only if we would relieve her on weekends. She had two children still in high school, so this was a sacrifice for her and her family to make. The solution proved workable, as we were making the trip every weekend anyway.

Although we had no inkling at the time of what God was doing, he was preparing to move me closer to medical help. The treatment center where I would eventually begin chemo was only a 15-20 minute drive from Carmen's house.

Not only did God provide a place close to the treatment center, he prepared the hearts of two people who eventually became Carmen's caregivers. The first one came in every day for several months. He made homemade egg Mcmuffins to tempt my waning appetite and did other nice things for me while I was undergoing chemo. When he eventually moved on, another wonderful woman began to come in as Maw's caregiver. Holly and her husband, Brett, eventually moved into the spare bedroom to become fulltime caregivers. She too was willing to help me in any way she could.

The other thing that God did was to prepare a job for Wayne close to where Carmen lived. This may sound like a strange provision, since we both were planning to retire. However, God knew, as did I, that Wayne would need a distraction while I underwent treatment. When he was offered the job as Deputy Warden at a nearby prison, I knew it was from God.

The job would be working with the same warden who Wayne had worked with in Washington Parish. He had moved to the prison near Prairieville. He knew and respected Wayne's skills in the area of rehabilitation. He asked Wayne to join him. He had actually asked Wayne months before, but Wayne wasn't sure. He had told him if the money was right and would increase our retirement income, he would think about it. The warden told Wayne to submit his retirement papers, but have human resources hold the paperwork until he had time to decide. Instead of taking retirement at the end of January, Wayne went on annual leave.

When the warden renewed his offer, with the income package Wayne had requested, we talked about the pros and cons of the job. We decided that if the warden would agree to certain conditions, Wayne would take the job. The main condition was that Wayne be allowed to take annual leave to take me to treatments, but also any time I might need him. He also told the warden that he would resign at the drop of a hat if it became necessary. The warden readily agreed to those conditions.

The job gave Wayne the distraction he needed. Although not normally a worrier, when it came to my health, I knew Wayne would sit around and worry if he stayed at home with me. I didn't want that to happen. God knows Wayne so much better than I do, and He concurred. He gave Wayne the job and kept him busy, while allowing him to be there whenever I needed him.

The only thing God did not provide was a female support group for me. Although we had attended a church in the area on Sunday mornings for several years, I had not made any close girlfriends. The women in the church did pray for me. They included me in outings at the rare times I was healthy enough to attend, but no one came to sit with me or pray aloud with me. I believe now that this was deliberate on God's part. He knew that I needed to lean on Him. Our relationship had suffered and needed to be rebuilt. I had plenty of time to focus on God.

I read a story once about a little boy who was frightened of thunderstorms. One night a storm interrupted his sleep, and he called out to his Mom. She came and soothed him and reminded him of the Bible verse, "What time I am afraid, I will trust in you." He responded, "I know Mom, but sometimes I need someone with skin on. Can you just stay with me a little while?"

God knows that as humans we sometimes need someone with skin on to walk through trials with us. In this case, though, God did not provide anyone with skin on. He instead gave me a new song and renewed the joy of my salvation. He did this as I spent time with Him and in His word. While I may have seemed to be alone, I was not. God's presence was very real. He provided me with comfort in my time of need.

In II Corinthians chapter one, God tells us that we are to comfort others with the comfort He provided in our time of trouble. I asked God to give me opportunities to do that. Physically, I can only touch a few lives as God brings individuals into my sphere of influence. With Wattpad, He is allowing me to share my journey and His comfort with others who I may never meet. I pray that God will use this book in ways that only He can imagine and bring it to the attention of those who need it most.