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Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)

Connor arrived at Evan's house ten minutes early. Evan was putting on his shirt when he heard the car honk. He rolled his eyes and smiled as he exited his bedroom. He had his cane with him. He decided to leave Charles at home.

He left a note for Heidi in case she got home early and slipped his shoes on. Another honk was heard as he bent down to tie the laces. He sighed and stood up, grabbing his keys from the hook by the door. He called out a quiet goodbye to Charles as he slipped out of the door. He locked it and put his keys in his jacket pocket. Except he didn't have his jacket.

He hurriedly unlocked the door, hoping Connor wasn't about to honk again. The closet was still open from when he put on his shoes. He took the jacket and walked out the door again. Once the door was locked and he knew he had everything—keys, wallet, cane, gloves, hat, etc—he started down the hallway.

He pushed the apartment complex door open right as Connor honked again. The boy jumped back and almost slipped on a small patch of ice on the top of the stairs. He held on to the railing as he walked down the stairs as slowly as possible.

He made his way over to the parking lot. A hand grabbed his elbow and he nearly screamed. Two taps on his shoulder calmed him down. Connor lead Evan to his car. Once Evan was buckled in and blasting the hot air from the heater, he asked Connor where they were going.

'There's this celebration thing at a park nearby and today is the last day,' Connor replied. 'It was a family tradition to go but we stopped a few years back. I kind of want to keep the tradition.'

Evan smiled. 'Sounds fun.' He leaned his head against the cold window as Connor drove out of the parking lot. He took off his gloves, not wanting for his hands to get sweatier.

It took them fifteen minutes to get to the park. Evan unbuckled himself and climbed out of the car. He put his gloves back on before grabbing his cane and taking Connor's elbow. A strong wind made Evan shiver and huddle closer to the taller boy.

Connor stopped walking to talk to Evan. 'There's a store that sells Christmas stuff—I know you're Jewish, there's probably some Jewish things there too—there's a hot chocolate stand, an ice rink, music. What do you want to do?'

Evan shrugged. 'I want to check out the store but I don't have much money.'

'I invited you, I'm paying.'

Evan shook his head. 'I should at least pay for some things. I don't want you to waste money on me.'

'If I agreed with you, I wouldn't've suggested it.'

Evan sighed and the two started walking again. The snow crunched beneath Evan's boots and the sound of music and children running flooded through his ears. He smelled popcorn, meat cooking, and other foods. He drifted over to the area the smell was coming from but Connor directed him away.

'We'll get food soon,' Connor said, 'but I'm not sure how well a full stomach would do with ice skating.'

'We're ice skating first?' Evan turned his head towards Connor. 'I've never ice skated before.'

'It's easy,' Connor assured. 'I'll help you the entire time.'

The boys walked around for a few minutes until they came to a stop. The music was louder and Evan could faintly hear the sound of skates on ice. He was handed a pair of skates and Connor lead them over to a bench. Evan bent down to remove his boots and slipped on the skates. They were tight around his ankles. He laced them up—with the help of Connor—and stood up—also with the help of Connor. He folded up his cane and tucked it in his front pocket. It poked his stomach.

Evan walked slowly, holding tightly onto Connor's shoulder. His foot hit the ice and he struggled to keep his balance. Connor moved in front of him and grabbed his hands.

'Relax,' he said. 'Keep your knees bent and put most of your weight at the front of your feet. Have you ever roller skated in elementary school?' Evan nodded. 'Ice skating is sort of like that, only you need a bit more leg strength and balance. Take steps, don't glide, take steps as if you're walking.'

Evan took the smallest step forward and instantly gripped Connor's arms. He took a deep breath before taking more small steps. The sound of people skating passed him made him anxious. Did he look weird? Most people here could skate and he was probably the only one that needs help.

Evan threw those thoughts away. This was supposed to be a nice evening.

'Try pushing off with your left foot,' Connor suggested, 'I'll be a little bit ahead of you to watch out for others.'

Evan nodded. Connor's arms disappeared from his grasp. He took that as his hint to move. He gently pushed off with his left foot. He slowly glided across the ice. A small smile ghosted across his face as Connor clapped.

The taller boy moved forward and touched Evan's hands. 'Let me help you.' Connor's hands circled around Evan's wrists and the boy was pulled forward. Evan gasped as he moved. One of Connor's hands went away and Evan heard the sound of a camera going off. Did he just take a picture?

Evan rolled his eyes and focused on pushing his feet to glide. After a while they went a bit faster, much to Evan's displeasure. Eventually Evan got used to it. He started laughing quietly. Connor did too.

The top of Evan's skate got caught on a loose piece of ice and he lost his balance. He landed on his back and ended up taking Connor down with him. He stayed like that for a while before laughing loudly. Connor joined in, although his laugh more of a chuckle.

Evan's stomach rumbled loudly and he blushed. 'Can we get some food?'

The two boys sat at an empty table. Evan had gotten a simple basket of cheese curds whereas Connor had also gotten a basket of cheese curds, along with hot dog, a basket of nachos, and a small soda. He said it was because this was one of the only times he got to eat something other than fake school food or Cynthia's gluten free vegan stuff.

Evan was happily munching on his cheese curds as Connor loudly sipped his drink. He planned on buying Evan one but he kept insisting not to spend money on him. Which was quiet ridiculous in Connor's opinion that he kept voicing; why invite someone somewhere if you don't plan on paying?

Evan quickly finished his cheese curds and waited for Connor to finish his. . . Everything. Evan leaned to his left and felt for the trash can. They chose a spot close to one so Evan wouldn't have trouble locating it. He tossed his empty basket into the trash.

It had gotten significantly cooler. It wasn't to the point where Evan was uncomfortable, but it was getting there. Connor had said earlier that the store had heating so they were headed there next.

Connor stood up and walked over to Evan. He heard a basket and other things hit the bag in the trash can. There was a light tug on Evan's elbow and he got the hint to stand up. Connor lead him away from the food stands.

'Is there anything in particular you want?' Connor asked.

Evan shrugged. 'I'm not really sure. I want to get my mom a late Hanukkah gift.'

'I'll help you.'

Evan smiled. The two quickly got to the store. The moment they walked in, Evan was swarmed with heat. He took a deep breath now that he was able to take one without feeling like he was going to choke.

He made sure to hold onto Connor's elbow tightly as they maneuvered their way through the small crowd of people. People's voices were loud and Evan couldn't tell if it was because they spoke loud or if the noise was starting to overwhelm him. He hoped it was the former.

Every once in a while Connor would stop walking to tell Evan about a cute thing he thought Heidi might like. Evan felt like Connor was getting mad whenever he replied that it doesn't seem like Heidi. Connor would move faster and it jerked Evan's arm around every time.

'How about this?' Connor asked. 'It's a snow globe that says 'happy holidays' and there's a snowman in it. Or there's a picture from with snowflakes around it and a small Menorah in the bottom left corner.'

Evan thought for a bit. 'The picture frame.' Evan was handed the gift. He held it with both gloves so he wouldn't drop it.

'I still have to pick out some stuff,' Connor said. 'I need to get Zoe and Cynthia something for Christmas.'

Evan decided to loop his left arm through Connor's arm. He was once again pulled along. They spent the next five minutes in the store. By the time they paid, Connor had his arms full with gifts. He had gotten pine-scented incense for Cynthia, a Christmas themed nail polish set for Zoe, a mini nutcracker for Larry, and a surprise for Evan.

The picture frame ended up costing fifteen dollars. So now Evan only had five dollars left for whatever else Connor had planned.

The cashier had tightly wrapped Evan's purchase in a plastic bag and handed it to him. Evan nodded in thanks and let Connor pay for his things.

Evan buzzed with nervous excitement. He rarely got surprises and when he did, his anxiety went up. It's not that he doesn't like surprises, there's just a chance it might go wrong and someone might end up mad or hurt.

The blond stood outside the store, rubbing his knees together in hopes of creating some heat. He heard Connor shifting around through his bag. The plastic crumpling stopped after a few seconds. Connor cleared his throat and shuffled over to the nervous boy.

He felt a presence behind him and wondered why Connor was standing behind him. That question was quickly answered when something cold touched his neck. Evan's hand went up to the thing and he played with it. It was a necklace with the Star of David.

He turned his head over his shoulder and a finger tapped him twice. He faced forward again.

'Happy Hanukkah,' Connor said.

'Hanukkah ended two days ago, Connor,' Evan replied.

Connor scoffed. 'Whatever.'

'Thank you,' Evan said. 'You didn't have to get me something. You already made me happy by bringing me here.' Evan felt his already blushing face burn more.

He could picture Connor shrugging at the comment. 'It was no big deal. You have to get me something too," Connor teased.

Evan balanced his picture frame in his elbow and leaned forward to smack Connor's arm. 'I have five dollars left.'

'Kidding!' Connor chuckled. 'Are you thirsty? I'm craving some hot chocolate.'

The two boys stood on a bridge far from the celebration yet close to the parking lot. They both had hot chocolate in their hands. Evan had taken his gloves off so his hands could warm up faster.

Evan leaned on the bridge's railing. He had his eyes closed and he leaned into the cold winter breeze which was countered by the steam rising from his cup.

He turned his body so he was facing Connor. He set his cup on the railing so he could sign properly. 'Thank you so much for bringing me here,' he said. 'I had a lot of fun. The skating was a bit scaring but I liked it.'

'It's a lot more fun going with someone,' Connor admitted. 'Thanks for going with.'

Evan smiled. 'Of course.' His heart started beating just a tiny bit faster. 'You know how you joked about me having to get you a gift? Well, I actually have one.'

'But you ran out of money.'

Evan swallowed. He raised a hand and placed it on Connor's cheek. Both their faces burned. Evan's thumb swiped over Connor's lip. He could do this. No backing out now.

Evan stood on the balls of his feet and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Connor's. He was about to pull away right after but a pair of hands found a perch on Evan's hips and pulled him closer.

Connor's lips were soft and tasted of mint and chocolate. A hand moved from Evan's waist to his neck and the kiss deepened. Evan's hands went up to Connor's shoulder. The long strands of hair tickled Evan's fingers and he twirled a finger around a strand.

Suddenly everything that Mrs. Kleinman had said a few days ago came flooding back to Evan. How she made noises of disgust as Jared lead him out of the house, how she flat out kicked him out of the house after what happened.

Evan ended the kiss and looked away.

'What's wrong?' Connor asked.

"Nothing," Evan verbally answered, "nothing at all. I'm just really cold." He felt himself shrink. Connor wouldn't believe that. He only ever verbally spoke around him when something bothers him. Well if he didn't believe it, he didn't push. Evan was grateful for that.

'It's getting late, too,' Connor said. 'We should go home.'

Evan grabbed his paper cup. Connor had finished his drink and was holding both bags with one arm. The two boys walked down the sidewalk, hand-in-hand.

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