The events from last night kept playing in Evan's mind. Specifically the kiss. Why did Connor do that?

And why did Evan not mind it? He was straight. Or at least he thought he was. He never had a crush in the past so he doesn't know the signs of one.

Which is why he was on his phone looking up "Signs you love him" on Google. His phone read the first link out loud and Evan clicked on it.

Question 1: Do you blush around him easily?

Evan blushed around everyone. He clicked yes.

Question 2: Do you get nervous around him?

Is this a poorly made anxiety test? He clicked yes again.

Question 3: Is he always on your mind?

Evan bit his lip. That answer was obvious, but for a very good reason. If he thought of anything else, he'd put himself into an anxiety attack. If he thought about his mom, he'd worry himself about if he's a bother to her. If he thought about Jared, he'd feel guilty for always bailing on him to be with Connor (he should make plans with him soon). If he thought about school, well. That was never a good thought for anyone.

He clicked yes. He zoomed through the rest of the questions and realized how deep into this "crush" thing he really is. His answer on the quiz was "Crush in progress".

He swallowed. A few of the thing he could blame on anxiety except that he's closer to Connor than his own mother.

He inhaled. He could accept this. This was alright. Except it wasn't. If Claire Kleinman found out she'd hate him forever and would never let him hang out with Jared again even if it meant not paying his car insurance. But why would she ever find out? It's not like he'd openly tell everyone he has a crush on a guy.

She would probably be able to sense it somehow. That image made Evan shiver. Okay so he was going to keep this a secret for now. Yeah. That would work.

So now all Evan had to do was tell Connor he felt the same way and ask to take things slow.

His phone buzzed and read the notification.

Connor: sorry about last night. Must've been higher than I thought.

Evan's heart sank. Scratch that plan. Keep this from Connor too.

It was Sunday; one of the few days Heidi would not work. Probably because her co-workers kept making her stay home and rest. So she would mostly sleep. But today she had some errands to run and thought that having Evan go with would be the perfect bonding moment.

So there they were, in the middle of Walmart. She was reading the list out loud while Evan pushed the cart. Charles walked next to him slowly. Heidi was directing Evan when to turn and what direction as she tossed items into the cart.

He stopped the cart when he accidentally bumped into something. "Sorry," he mumbled. He was bent over the cart with his arms crossed over the handlebar and head tilted down.

"What's wrong, Evan?" Heidi asked, her voice soft.

Evan licked his lips. "I, it's nothing. I just- school. Homework."

"You sure it's just that?" Heidi pushed. She made sure to keep her distance with the questions so he wouldn't curl in on himself. She wanted him to speak at his own pace.

Evan nodded. His chest felt heavy, like a stone was crushing his ribs and lungs. "That's, that's all. It's honestly nothing, I don't know why I brought it up it's stupid and I'm just being ridiculous and the homework wasn't even that hard but I might- I'm worried I'll get a bad grade that's all."

He took a large breath and held it. He just had to ramble. Now Heidi was going to know the homework thing was a lie because as far as she knew, he was never worried about homework.

It was a while before she spoke. "I can check it over if you want. I know that that's not it, Evan. And it hurts that you don't feel alright telling me yet, but I won't push."

Evan sighed and nodded. He didn't have homework. Now he was going to have to dig out an old worksheet and pretend it was. But that would be hard because every paper in his backpack was graded.

Evan heard his mom's shoes on the tile floor and pushed the cart after her.

School was the last place anybody wanted to be. But Evan hated it more than usual after his new-found crush. He would try his best to avoid Connor but they went they same way to class and had the same classes and lunch hour.

They walked down the hall to their second hour. Tension was the only thing either of them noticed. Evan wanted to reach up and cut it with scissors, but this is a metaphor and Evan doesn't have scissors.

It was Connor who broke the awkwardness. 'Again, sorry about Saturday.'

Evan blinked and ducked his head. 'It's okay. I get it.' Connor seemed alright with that answer and dropped his hand but quickly grabbed Evan's hand again.

'Larry's letting me get speech therapy,' he said. 'My first session is this Wednesday. I'm having two sessions a week.'

Evan smiled. 'This is great Connor! I'm a little jealous though. It's not like there's therapy to help me with sight.'

Connor nudged Evan's shoulder a little too hard. Evan stumbled and let out an awkward chuckle. He rubbed his shoulder.

'Never thought you were one for self-deprecating jokes,' Connor said.

Evan shrugged. 'Hanging around you probably did that.' He tensed his shoulders. He was about to apologize when a low laugh came from the taller boy next to him. Evan's heart fluttered. 'I may be used to it, but I still wish I could see.'

They got to the classroom and went their separate ways.