Evan wasn't expecting to find himself in the orchard again, let alone in the middle of winter. But Connor had texted him saying they were going for a drive and didn't leave room for questions. So there he was, sitting next to Connor on the freezing bench they brushed off.

They've been sitting in silence for the past ten minutes. He didn't want to push, but Evan really wanted to know why Connor dragged him to the orchard in below freezing weather.

Connor grabbed Evan's hand. 'Sorry for dragging you here,' he said, 'I just didn't want to be alone after what happened.'

Evan sniffed; his nose was running from the cold. 'It's okay,' he replied. 'Can I ask what happened?'

Connor sighed. 'So we had to open gifts early this year because we have to prepare food for Christmas Day. Apparently a bunch of family is coming over so we need lots of food. Anyways, I was opening my gift from Cynthia and I expected something shitty like socks. But I got three new candles and Larry knew what they were for and flipped out.'

'What were the candles for?' Evan asked.

'Pagan rituals that I never do anymore because I don't believe they work and it takes too much time and energy,' Connor explained. 'So Larry flipped his shit and started yelling and then I started yelling and it got out of control. I ended up grabbing an expensive tree ornament and threw it on the ground. I just. . . I had to get out of there after that.'

Evan squeezed the taller boy's hand. He didn't know how to respond so instead he leaned up and kissed his cheek. Well, tried to. He missed and ended up kissing his jaw. 'It'll be okay,' he assured, rubbing circles on Connor's hand with his thumb. 'It may not happen tomorrow or a week after that, but you'll be okay.'

Connor sighed. 'I want to believe you, I really do. But after years of thinking the opposite, I'm not sure.'

Evan bit his lip. He understood where Connor came from. He laced their fingers together, halting the conversation. Connor's hand was cold in Evan's.

They haven't really talked about the kiss; they both said they liked it and that was that. So now Evan didn't know what they are. But that was fine with him, he wanted to take it slow in the first place.

A chill ran down his spine as the wind kicked up. He released Connor's hand to pull his jacket tighter around him.

'Can we go somewhere warm?' Evan asked.

Connor laughed softly. 'Evan, I don't think that I'd be able to drive in the state I'm in.'

'You're not high, are you?'

'No.'

'You drove here when you were more upset,' Evan said, 'you would think you'd be able to drive when you're more calm.'

'Good point.' Connor linked their hands together and pulled Evan up. 'Let's get hot chocolate.'

Evan smiled and let Connor lead him out of the orchard. They walked slower on the parking lot. Ice was everywhere, as Connor had warned, and the last thing they needed was a bruise on their ass from falling. When they got in the car (it was still on from when they got there ten minutes before), Evan put his gloved hands in front of the heater.

He leaned back in his seat and sighed. He felt something cross over his chest and realized that it was Connor's arm. He was buckling him in.

Evan blushed and sat up. "I could've done that myself.'

'You looked so relaxed with the heat,' Connor replied, 'You probably would've forgotten.'

Evan frowned but knew it was true. He's forgotten so many things when he's been relaxing and Connor was present for most of those. Like when they were doing homework (more like Evan was doing his homework and Connor was copying answers—Connor had been accidentally learning Braille so he understood minimal things). Except they didn't do homework because the moment Evan climbed on his bed with Charles curled on his head, he didn't want to move. Connor had ended up forcing him into the living room with their backpacks.

After a while, Evan took off his gloves and wiped his hands on his jeans. He wanted to take off his jacket but he knew the moment he got out of the car, he'd start shivering. He chose to suffer being sweaty.

They pulled into a parking lot. Connor unbuckled himself and Evan did the same. Evan unfolded his cane and held it out in front of him. He probably didn't need it at this point; he was with Connor basically all the time. But he wanted to be extra careful so he slowly swung it back and forth as they walked.

The bell above the door dinged as they walked into the building. Evan was instantly overrun with heat and smells and sounds. The sounds of drinks being made, the smell of coffee and freshly baked goods. Evan's stomach rumbled loudly.

Connor had Evan sit down in a booth while he went to get drinks. Evan folded up his cane and set it next to him. He shrugged his jacket off. His leg started bouncing; his left hand messed with the ripped string on the hem of his shirt; his right hand drummed against the table.

He couldn't sit still. It seemed like he was always moving whenever he was with Connor and now he didn't know how to just be still. He put his hands between his thighs and squeezed his legs together. It stopped his hands fidgeting, but now it probably looked like he was jerking off in a public spot.

His hands left his legs and he opted on putting them in his pockets. Except he wasn't wearing his jacket. Putting his hands in his jeans pockets would look worse with a bouncing leg, as his hands weren't visible to people.

What should he do with his hands?

His internal dilemma was solved when Connor arrived.

Evan's arm was pulled up so Connor could speak. 'Hope you like Starbucks. Caribou was too far.'

'It's okay,' Evan replied. He reached for his cup and instantly pulled his hand back. The cup was burning. He heard Connor laugh quietly.

'So,' Evan started, 'how's speech therapy going?'

'Alright I guess,' Connor answered. 'A lot harder than I thought it'd be considering I stopped speaking only two years ago.'

'Have you been able to say anything yet?'

'I've learned the basics, but I'm having trouble with it. I also asked to learn two certain phrases right away.'

Evan straightened his back. 'What are the phrases?'

Connor cleared his throat. 'You'll find out later.'

Evan frowned and slumped in his seat. 'Please?'

Connor changed the subject. 'How did Heidi like her gift?'

Evan held his cup in one hand and brought it up to his lips to take a light sip. He hissed and pulled his head back when the hot drink touched his tongue. 'She loved it. I think she put a picture in it right away, but I'm not sure.' He sipped his drink again, ignoring the throbbing pain in his mouth. 'You said you opened gifts early? Did Zoe like what you got her?'

Connor's hand moved the slightest bit as if he was shrugging. 'She didn't really say anything. She smiled a bit and looked at me, but that's about it.'

Evan's eyebrows furrowed. 'I'm sure she appreciates it but doesn't know how to say that.'

Connor scoffed. 'Sure, let's go with that.'

The blind boy frowned. He pulled his hand away to grip his cup with both hands. His tongue had lowered to a dull pain so Evan took a large sip. He set his drink down and gripped Connor's hand again. 'They'll come around,' he said, 'they're your family. It may not seem like it, but they care.'

Connor didn't reply for several minutes. Evan heard a cup being crushed and Connor finally responded with, 'Let's go.'

Evan was yanked up by Connor and he hardly had enough time to grab his things as they walked.

They walked out of the Starbucks. Evan had his unfinished cup in his right hand and held onto Connor's elbow with his left. He wanted to apologized for whatever he said. He hadn't meant to upset him.

The boys climbed into the car. The engine roared and Evan jumped. He quickly buckled himself and felt for the nearby cup holder. He placed the foam cup in it and put his hands between his thighs to keep them warm. He would put them in front of the heater but that would only keep them warm until he moved them away.

Connor drove slowly out of the parking lot. The car sped up when they reached the street. Evan's stomach twisted; Connor was mad and there was ice on the road. Every sharp turn made Evan's lunch creep into his throat. Everytime the car slid due to the ice made sweat run down Evan's freezing back.

He kept his head pointed down. His heart was ramming against his chest as if it were trying to break free. From what, Evan had no idea.

He gripped the door handle as the car sped more. "Connor," he said aloud, "Connor you might want to slow down." He knew fully well Connor probably had no idea what he was saying, but it felt weird to just sit there and do nothing.

His face paled as Connor slammed a fist on the horn and swerved to the right. Evan screamed Connor's name as they slid. Cars honked behind them. The road suddenly became bumpy and Evan had a feeling they weren't on a road anymore.

The car hit something. Glass shattered. Airbags were released. Cars screeched to a halt. People were yelling. Evan had no idea what was going on; he only felt pain all over his body and the only thing he could worry about was if Connor was alright.

Police and ambulance sirens were the last thing Evan heard before everything went silent.

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Let me clarify the beginning part: I headcanon Cynthia as Pagan and that she wanted to raise Zoe and Connor the same way. She did until they were 13 and 14 but then Larry got mad and demanded that she stop and raise them as Christians. Connor still practices Pagan rituals and prayers in secret and Cynthia tries to get him candles and crystals whenever she can. 

Also sorry that this chapter took so long I've had it in my drafts but I'm currently writing a future chapter and I'm running out of pre-made ones to upload so I thought I'd wait until I finished the future chapter. But that was taking too long so I'm updating now