Amber Mikelson

I had no damn idea that this will happen but when his rough hands cupped my cheeks, my breath grew shallow and I knew what would follow. My eyes closed since I was overwhelmed at his intimacy.

And then his lips touched mine. If touching him was electric, this was fire, red hot fire and I was burning in it. His kiss was rough like his personality and there was something desperate about it. But I didn't mind, instead I allowed myself to burn as I responded with equal fervour.

All this while my fingers tightly clutched to the front of his shirt as if he was another part of a dream which might break if I let him go. And it came as a pleasant surprise that I didn't want him to go, to stop holding me, stop kissing me. I had no idea I wanted to kiss him this much.

His kiss deepened and so did his hold over me, now his one hand pulling me closer by my waist. It was painful how fast my heart was beating, enough to jump out my chest but it didn't bother me much.

I was clearly alert to every motion, his hands travelling behind me, making me shiver uncontrollably. A group of people passed talking about something at a distance from us.

And that broke apart our kiss. As soon as his lips left mine I felt the loss. My nerves were in havoc and I might be as red as a tomato. I opened my eyes to look at Ian, to get explanation to why he did that suddenly when he was anything but attracted to me.

I noticed him looking at me with a frown, a question and frustration. This hurt me more than it should. I never took Ian to be a player, heart breaker type but his expression was not one would like to see on a person after a passionate kiss.

"Don't dare tell me it was a mistake Ian." I tried to make it sound like a light threat breathing heavily.

He winced at my words and disappointment washed over me in waves. Why am I reacting this way? It was not like I own him, Yes I liked him a lot since when I don't know but a kiss was just a kiss.

"It is a mistake." He said the words in a low whisper as if it was meant just for him.

I laughed out harshly.

"And then I presume, we shall never talk about it." I said preventing from tears flowing out.

I was over reacting, maybe because I have liked a boy after a long time and even though he was rude and cold, I decided to trust him. And got flowed with his help, his daily visit to cafe, our little walks and talks.

He never even said he liked me, not even as a friend.

"Let me take you back home Amber." Ian said with a guilt clear in his tone.

But was the guilt on kissing me or rejecting me after the kiss.

"No, I will be fine Laserian, I can walk myself home." I said more sharply than intended.

I was never good at hiding emotions.

A look of pure hurt crossed his face but then after a moment he was passive again.

I turned and walked away, my heart hurting worse than my foot in heel and that was saying a lot because my feet was swollen and red.

But that was not even the worst part, I was completely utterly insane now because Laserian O'Fearghaile smelled really good, like freshly brewed coffee, like summer breeze and jasmine...damn, up close, Ian smelled like my panther.

I really hoped that this was his cologne and not Laserian himself.

***

I have never been distraught. Even after the pain of nightmares, even after the workload, even after being friendless almost all my life I was never distraught.

But now I was. Two weeks passed and I lost two important things in my life, Laserian and my pet dog. That night after the kiss, I returned home and I could not find my pet. I have heard that dogs are loyal, but I guess I was unlucky enough to repel normal nature's way.

Dog vanished and I was left literally very sad. Laserian ignored me, he never came to Liquid Hearts, never to library or anywhere I could find him. Sometimes I wanted to go and check his secret spot by the lake but I decided it was invasion of privacy. I don't want to misuse his secret.

Yeah, I was soft hearted that way.

And it so happens that when you lose something, you realise the importance of that something. Laserian might not be a real friendly personality but I missed him. He was like that strong silent support that made you feel secure.

I should not miss him after he practically kissed the life out of me and then said it was a mistake. I might act all cool and ignorant but saying someone that kissing them was a mistake was kind of ego crushing.

But here I was missing his presence in Liquid Hearts, my eyes settling on the chair he sat in, again and again.

All was Panther's fault, he was my secret diary but now he was not here to share my whines and grieving.

"Are you alright?" Terian asked millionth time.

"I am fine , just really tired. I have lot of work at office too." I replied with a tired smile.

I should have left the job, since I had no pet to take care of but I kind of loved working here and I also can't say no to Marc.

"If you say so, it looks like you have troubling sleeping. You look sad and out of it most of the time." Terian said looking really concerned.

He was like a brother to me I never had.

"Forget about me, tell me about the girl with silvery blonde hair." I tried to change the topic from me to his current crush object.

Terian's cheek had a tinge of pink immediately.

"Blushing, oh my, who is she?" I asked nudging his shoulder playfully.

"He might tell you because he is not telling me." Marc walked up to the front counter with another one of Hood member, Iramus , maybe.

"Amber Mikelson, I have heard so much about you." Iramus said eyeing me from head to toe making me squirm.

He was the band's certified flirt.

"I hope all good things." I answered curtly.

"You are prettier up close." He flirted shamelessly making me laugh at his attempt.

"She is out of limits Mus, she is media." Marc said with fake stern tone.

Iramus pouted but let it go giving me a wink.

"How are you M? Terian told me this past week you have been dull." Marc asked with genuine concern.

Why does he care?

"Wow, thanks Terian, good way to boast a girl's image. Dull, did he say?" I asked trying to be sarcastic.

"Nice try, now spill." Marc said.

"Or I will try using my charms on you." Iramus said it like it was a threat.

"And trust me that would be dangerous." Terian added.

I can't possibly let them know that my mood sucked because of their band leader Laserian.

"I lost my pet." So I told them half truth.

"What?" Iramus and Mac said in unison.

"Yeah, well, I had a dog, he was a street dog my dad found injured and then I took him in as a pet. But he went away or is lost for past two weeks. That is the reason I have been miserable."

"Explain me how he looked we will help you find him." Iramus offered.

How come only Laserian was the only jerk in band?

"Well, he was a street dog and maybe he was not in mood to stay with me. I did talked a lot to him so maybe he couldn't take my rambling and ran away." I said half heartedly.

"She is as nice as you said bro." Iramus said looking at me with a smile.

I rolled my eyes at him.

"You flirting is pointless on me." I told him frankly.

He just laughed though.

"I love a challenge." He said with smirk.

Marc almost death glared at him.

"You don't want him to kill you now?" Marc warned while I sat there completely clueless at what just happened.

Iramus was a bit shocked.

"I am trying to play fairy god mother here." He said arching his eye brows at Marc.

"These two are mad, leave them." Terian said placing an arm over my shoulder.

"So why are guys here besides to trouble me?" I asked now getting ready to take orders.

"We are launching a new album and Anna told you about some personal photo shot for album covers. We are here to remind you that." Marc informed me.

Shit, I totally spaced.

"But that only happens with whole team." I said avoiding looking at them lest they see the obvious pain in my eyes.

"Bruke is attending his sick grandmother, he will be there when you say. Laserian is out of town." Iramus explained.

It stung a bit, Laserian was out of town. Was he going to all these lengths just to avoid me.

Everything is not about you Amber, stop being self centred.

"He will be back soon, or so he said." Marc said now closely looking at me.

I was uncomfortable under his intense, interrogative gaze.

"Okay, then I will let you know about the photo shoot once I find a decent location." I said hurriedly getting up almost hitting my knee with the counter.

"Careful M." Terian said with a concerned frown.

I nodded and left the weirdly caring handsome boys. I wish I felt that thud of my heart around one of them, but it had to be that ass, Laserian. Why did I even go soft on him?

They left me alone to work, thank God else I would have cursed Laserian in front of them. As my painful week ended I knew where I had to go and what I had to do.

***

It had been two hours since I was waiting in the forest where I met the panther. I sat there cross legged comfortably, with just stars shining and no moon tonight. If my parents saw me sitting here , alone in the forest they wil surely send me to a shrink.

But I just sat there, listening to music on my phone as I waited for my only solace to come by. He did promise he will stay but then it was only a panther. Animals are not bounded to promise like humans are.

So I just sat there, ignoring phone calls, ignoring my own sensible mind, I sat there and waited. With passing time my heart was getting squeezed up into a small fist, pushing me to the edge of crying. I have been patient and ignorant for two weeks but I was tired now, especially when whole band came but Laserian who came daily was not present.

I never thought him to be a coward.

To avoid my eyes from watering I looked in my phone. There were five miscalls from home, one from Terian, one from Josephine, one from Anna and two from Talfryn.

Yeah, Talfryn and I turned out to be good friends. All this while he had been the only one trying to make me smile.

And then there was one more call, Laserian. My heart did a double take as I looked at the number closely. After a jerk and rude silence of two weeks, he was calling me today?

My fingers itched to call him back but I avoided it, I missed him but he didn't need to know that. He already was way over his head.

But seeing his name, all his memories flashed back , his touch, his chuckle, his smile, his kiss everything and the stupid traitor tear fell on the grass like dew drop. Feeling utterly stupid sitting here, I started to get up.

A low growl stopped me from getting up.

"Finally, you took your time." I said my voice trembling with crying.

It came out of the dark and closed in.

I relaxed and smiled at him. Atleast he didn't betray me.

"I guess I am addicted to the way you smell. Even Laserian smelled like you. How could he? I tried smelling Candice and mom and dad, they thought I was weird and maybe I am because no one else smell like you, except Laserian.

And no, I will never call him Ian, maybe telling me his nickname was mistake also."I said sounding dejected even to myself.

Panther kept it distance but listened to me blabber.

"Yeah, I hate him officially."

Panther looked at me with a hurt look in his eyes. I was glad that atleast someone understood my pain. But I was confused as well.

What if I was really insane, what if this was all happening in my head? I mean no panther will come and talk to a girl and answer her questions.

Should I tell my dad?

"To hell with him. I can get a billion better boys than him. I think Mattix even likes me. He is always flirting or maybe he is also a pretended like Laserian. But the guy was not even pretending, I was stupidly crushing on him."

On this the panther let out a whimper. What? Did I hear right?

Then he growled again as if I said something wrong.

"Yeah, well you are right. Crushing on an ass, jerk face, shitty guy like him is wrong but I can't decided the matters of heart now, could I?" I said helplessly.

He edged closer now but when I stretched my hand, he backed away again.

"What? I do not have a communicable disease." I said annoyed at his behaviour.

So yeah, I was totally mad and weird, I was scolding a freaking panther.

This time phone rang again, and since I was feeling lighter after sharing my worries I picked it up.

"Hey. Matt." I answered and heard the panther bear its teeth.

What the hell is wrong with him?

"I-I am free this weekend. Why?" I said fully aware of being asked out.

Should I say yes? Was I in mood for a relationship?

"And it's not like we are getting married, it is just a movie marathon." He said as if judging my silence as hesitation.

"Fine, I will choose the movie then." I said feeling happy because he was trying to help me get over my sucky mood.

"Should I watch Lord of the Rings again?" I asked to myself and panther.

He was glaring at me and though I should be scared, I was not.

"What? Not Lord of the Rings?" I asked not sure why he was shooting daggers at me suddenly.

"Or should I just say no and torture myself thinking about Laserian's action like I did past two weeks." I asked the poor animal now facing my wrath because of that two faced douche.

Panther looked guilty for some reason and I patted its head making him glare again.

"I will be here again so don't try to miss a single meeting or I swear you will regret it." I gave a literally empty threat to a carnivorous predator.

Well done Amber, you earned the sanity award!

I got up and left, giving one last look to disappearing form of my only companion left.

***

This time I cried even after I woke up my sobs not stopping at all. My breathing was rough and my tongue tried to be a balm to my chapped lips. I kept wiping off the tears from my eyes but it flowed endlessly.

I picked up my phone and dialled the only number I shouldn't have.

Because in my dreams, which I somehow now remember, was a small boy with amber eyes and sand brown here, looking pale faced and distraught as his eyes saw the terror of his own parents and a brother dying right in front of his eyes as various animals ripped apart there throat.

The boy didn't cry or scream or panicked, he just stood there as if not believing what he saw or maybe be wishing that his death would follow soon and end this pain.

After five rings, he picked up , "Laserian, can we meet?" I asked my voice still thick with crying.

There were many options, he could refuse or laugh at me for being cheap and clingy or just hang up.

"Outside your house, in five minutes." He said in a serious tone, crystal clear that at this ungodly hour he was still wide awake.

A/N

Please don't hate me. Next chapter everything gets better :) 

As for Laserian's reaction, he is a well trained soldier not used to rule breaking and defying orders. So he is already guilty of leaving girl alive, kissing her was way out of league and he is angry at himself....but lovely people not for long :)

Ah! the feeling of being surrounded by super hot guys in a band...Amber , you luck girl!

Question:

Fave Hood Member besides Laserian ;)

Now read, enjoy and VOTE!