-7-

It was already 8 o'clock the next time I looked at the clock. We were both still tired and Zhan asked me if we wanted to try to sleep again. I nodded and asked him shyly, " Can I lie like that? I mean, in your arms?"

"Of course." Zhan said. I slid closer to him, my head lying on his chest and I could hear his heartbeat. It sounded really soothing. And as I slowly fell asleep, he kept stroking my back. I still wondered why Zhan didn't have a partner when I fell asleep.

The next time I opened my eyes, it was already noon. I was still lying with my head on Zhan's chest and had even clung to him. What is it about Zhan that makes me feel so comfortable with him? Why would I want to hold him like that all the time?

Zhan also woke up and asked me if I slept comfortably. I nodded embarrassed and said, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

He poked me on the nose with his index finger and said laughing, "Why are you apologizing? I was not lying uncomfortably. Don't worry about it."

We got up, took showers one after the other and then ate a sandwich while waiting for the food that Zhan ordered. He told me that although he could cook, he rarely does it anymore because he doesn't have much time because of work. But he promised to cook something for me one day.

After dinner, Zhan said to me, "Say, Yibo, do you want to talk about something serious?"

I almost panicked, but he took my hand and immediately said, "Something serious, not something bad." So I nodded and he said: "We get along quite well and I had this idea."

"What idea?" I asked him.

"Well, you said you were looking for a new apartment. I have a guest room here that's never been used. If you want it, you can have it. Neither of us would be alone anymore and we'd still have our privacy."

The suggestion was unexpected. But I only let it go through my mind for a moment and then I said, "If your offer is serious and you really want it, okay."

"I am serious. Otherwise I would not say it. Sure, we only met yesterday. But I think we get along really well and we could really get along."

"Yeah, I agree. And it would be a great help for me. As long as the rent isn't too high for the room."

"You don't have to worry about that. I own this apartment. My parents bought it for me. It would just be nice if you would contribute to the running costs."

"Sure, no problem." That's what I said. I felt like I hit the lottery jackpot. But at the same time I was also afraid that I would soon be put off again and new misfortune would await me as soon as I was too happy.

I called my landlord and informed him that I wanted to leave the apartment. He told me that normally I have three months notice period. But, he had already received many requests for this apartment and agreed to shorten the three months to two weeks. So something else good happened.

Then Zhan suggested, since he has a few days off, that we make the move as soon as possible. I asked him where I should go with all my furniture in a hurry, because after all, everything was already in Zhan's apartment and he suggested to sell the furniture. We put an ad online that there is a household liquidation and all furniture will be sold. And it took less than an hour for the first calls to come in.

We drove quickly to my apartment. Since Zhan also had his car at my place, we had to take a cab again. Many interested people came and until the evening there were only a few boxes with my clothes and some personal belongings left. I never thought that it would go so fast.

When we left, the apartment was already empty and clean. Ready to be handed over to the landlord. We divided the boxes among our cars and then drove to Zhan. He wrote me a subtenancy agreement that I need to register, while I unpacked my stuff.

After I unpacked everything, I went to find Zhan. He was sitting outside on his terrace in a deck chair looking at the night sky. It had been maybe 5 ºC. And at first the fresh air did me good, because I really started sweating when I unpacked and put everything away. But then I got cold quite quickly and I started to shiver.

Zhan looked at me thoughtfully, waved me over, lifted his blanket and I sat down with him without thinking. He covered us both and I leaned on Zhan. He put his arms around me, his hands were crossed in front of my belly and I held his hands. I realized what that must have looked like, but I didn't care.

Around midnight we went inside. I asked Zhan if we could see one more movie. Zhan laughed and asked me if I wanted to sleep next to him and use the movie as an excuse. What can I say? He guessed right. But I said: "No, no. I wanted to watch a movie with you, last night, and I accidentally fell asleep. But I'm gonna make it tonight."

"Well, yeah, Yibo. But honestly? If you want to sleep next to me, just say so. It's no problem. My bed is big enough as you know." Can he read my mind?

"I really only asked because of the movie."

"And I'm telling you, go take a shower, put on your pajamas and then come to my room. And if you do want to sleep at my place, you'll sleep there. And if not, go to your room later."

I nodded and dashed into the bathroom. When I came into Zhan's bedroom from the shower, he was looking at some ultrasound images on his tablet. I crawled into the bed, slipped under the blanket and slid over to Zhan to see what he was looking at.

He explained to me that these are the ultrasound images of a tumor on a stomach. He is an internal medicine specialist, in case I forgot to mention that. He explained to me exactly what was there and it was more exciting for me than a movie. My wish to become a doctor came out more and more.

Zhan also showed me some more pictures and explained them to me. The film was completely forgotten. Then he showed me a shot of an operation he was performing. It was really exciting for me. I slowly realized that I was really beginning to admire Zhan. And without really noticing it, I had snuggled up with him again while he showed me the shots.

Around 2 am, Zhan asked me: "So, are you sleeping here or in your room tonight? Because if you're going to sleep here, I'm turning off the light now."

"I, I don't like sleeping in the dark." I said to him.

"Well, you slept in the dark last night too. But I guess that's because you fell asleep before I turned off the TV, right?"

"Yes. I suppose so."

"Well, if you like, turn on the night light on the nightstand. Or you can lean on me and try it without the light."

"And if I turn on the light, I can't lean on him?"

"Well, of course you can lean on me. I just wanted to suggest that you can try without light. Maybe it's enough if you lean on me, so you don't feel unsafe."

"Oh, I see, you mean that. I can try."

"But only if you want to and are willing. You don't have to do it tonight. Take your time with it."

"Okay. Thanks Zhan."

"For what?"

"For being so understanding and helping me."

"Hey, you asked me to make you smile again. And I take this assignment very seriously."

"Oh, so that's it. That's why you're so nice to me."

"Yeah, that's why. And also because you're so cute."

"I'm cute?"

"Of course you're cute. But, you know, I'm glad to help. I'm glad you're here."

"I like being here with you." I said that and I meant it.

I turned on the night light, snuggled under my blanket and waited for Zhan to come back out of the bathroom. When he finally came, he lay down on his side of the bed under his blanket and I looked at him with a look of admiration. As if he could read minds, he stretched out his arm and I slipped to him where I snuggled up to him immediately.

For me this is a very untypical behavior. I am actually always reserved and very aloof. But with Zhan it's completely different. From the moment I saw him, I just wanted to get closer to him. And he allows it. He lets me stay with him, even holds me in his arms and gives me the sense of protection I have always been looking for.

With Zhan, it's easy for me to talk, show my emotions and trust him. And this even though I have only just got to know him. I am very happy that I got to know him. And at the same time I am afraid that he will leave me again. What is wrong with me?

On to the next chapter...