-5-

I was just 18 years old when I started working in a nightclub. Fortunately, this is a serious nightclub and nobody is forced to do things he or she doesn't want to do. For example, I never had to take my clothes off while dancing. A few tight clothes were quite enough. The manager always said that it was the dance movements that mattered and not how much naked skin you showed.

Maybe that's why I've always enjoyed working there for the past 8 years. The manager is fair, sincere and pays well. And, we get to keep our tips. Sometimes really good sums come together. And when we work, we get drinks on the house, they are not deducted from our salary.

After dinner, Xiao Zhan drove me to my house. I still had to shower and change my clothes. He waited for me in my living room and looked around a bit. There is not much to see there. As a precaution, my ex had removed everything that could point to her. She even took the pictures with her.

When I was done, I went to Xiao Zhan in the living room. He sat on the sofa and read one of the books on my shelf. "Is that book interesting?" I asked Xiao Zhan, who was so absorbed in the book that he didn't even notice me.

"Mmm, I already know it. I have the first edition of it. I like to read it again and again. Did you know that the author of this crime novel died almost the same way as he wrote it in his book about the victim?" He asked.

"No, I did not. I honestly haven't read the book yet. I've had it for years. I bought it when I had to buy books for med school."

"You went to medical school?"

"Just started, but never finished. I had to earn money and couldn't continue my studies."

"Oh, that's too bad. But, you could catch up now."

"I guess so."

"How many semesters left?"

"Five semesters."

"Only five more? Then make up for it. I can help you study."

"I don't know. That would be too much to ask."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Think about it."

"I just don't think it's going to work twice. Without the jobs, I have no place to live."

"If you want, you can find a solution for everything. But not tonight. I think if you want to get to work on time, we should get going now."

I don't know why Xiao Zhan is so nice to me. I just hope he's not someone who will hurt me. I've only known him a few hours, but I think he's really nice. And I would like to spend more time with him. My best friend lives too far away and I have no contact with my family. I wouldn't be so alone with him.

Xiao Zhan stood in front of me and smiled and said, "Hey, hey, you're not thinking about any sad things, are you? And don't deny it, I can see it on your face. Let's try to forget the dark thoughts tonight and have fun, okay?" Zhan said.

"Yeah, OK. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize. Now come on, I want to see you dance." He said impatiently.

Right now I can really use a friend like Zhan, that's what I should call him now, and I really hope I won't be disappointed again.

We ordered a cab because Zhan wants to have a drink at the nightclub and so do I. As soon as I get off the stage, I mean.

When we arrived at the nightclub, the manager was already waiting for me to discuss the course of the evening with me and tell me when it was my turn. He looked at Zhan with interest and asked him if he wanted to dance. Zhan laughed and explained: "Only if you want your guests to start laughing out loud. No, I'm just here to watch Yibo dance and have a drink."

"Too bad, I think the women would really dig you." That's what my manager said.

"I guess so. But it's nothing for me. I sing better than I dance, believe me."

"Oh you can sing? I could arrange that too."

"Ha ha, I can sing, but I don't plan on performing anywhere. Sorry, I'm a guest here."

"All right. But at least come around often." Said the manager.

I went to the back to get ready for my performance while Zhan and the manager continued talking.

After I finished my makeup and changed, I went back to the front to check on Zhan. He was sitting at a table with my manager and they were still talking. One of the employees had sat next to Zhan, but he didn't pay any attention to her. When she touched his hand, he pulled his hand away and put it on his lap, under the table. The manager finally sent her away.

I don't know why, but I was relieved that the manager sent her away. I didn't like that she tried to get close to Zhan. Yes I know, many of the employees try to increase their tips a little bit, but I didn't like that she tried to get close to Zhan. He is my guest!

Unfortunately, I only had a few minutes, so I sat down with Zhan, had a quick drink and then had to go backstage where the other two dancers were already waiting for me.

The music started, the light was dimmed and it started. I danced and caught a glimpse of Zhan again and again, who clapped smiling. Somehow it made me really proud.

For about half an hour we stood on stage and performed for the almost exclusively female guests. Three days a week it is always Ladies Night and there are almost only women coming, like on this evening. On the other evenings the men come to watch the women dance. While we male dancers serve the guests. So, waiters are.

After my performance I went in the back and showered as fast as I could. I got dressed and almost ran forward to join Zhan. I sat down next to him and he told me, "You were really great up there on stage."

"Yeah, so were the other two." I said embarrassed.

"There were others?" Zhan asked laughing.

I know he didn't mean the question seriously, but I was still very happy. Moreover, there was another dancer group on stage and he didn't even look at them.

We drank and talked. Whereby Zhan talked more than I did, which I thought was great, since I often need a little more time anyway before I can open up to others. I found it most interesting when he told me about his medical studies. It was just nice to listen to him.

As it was getting later and later and the time came to say goodbye to each other, I felt a little nostalgic and would have liked to spend a little more time with him. And only now do I realize that all day since I met Zhan, I've felt good. In the last few hours, I haven't had a moment of dull thoughts about my past or today.

And let's face it, what I experienced today had given me a panic attack! My father lent money to my ex-wife's parents and to get rid of the debts, she got involved with me? For years? So she just pretended to me for 8 years? How much were her parents' debts? And how could my father raise so much money? Will he tell me the truth if I talk to him about it?

The closer the parting from Zhan comes, the more all these thoughts come back to the fore. Be it regarding my past or my counterpart.

"Hey Yibo? Is everything alright?" Zhan suddenly asked me.

I really flinched when he spoke to me and tore my thoughts out of my head. "Um, yeah. I'm fine." I said.

"It's not fine. Do not lie to me. Tell me what's going through your head right now!" Zhan asked me.

"No, I don't want to. I'll stop thinking about it, I promise."

"Listen Yibo. I don't know anything about you and your problems or worries. But when I look at you, I know something is bothering you. And honestly? I don't want you to go home alone, the way you were looking right now."

"I'm okay. I really am."

"Look me in the eyes and say that again."

I raised my head and looked into his eyes. A big lump came up in my throat. Stammering and fighting my tears, I said, "I'm fine."

"Why are you torturing yourself like this?" Zhan asked me. Then he grabbed me by the wrist, pulled me to him and took me in his arms. "You are not fine at all. You don't have to exert yourself and pretend to be fine in front of me." He said and stroked my back while I just cried.

After a while, Zhan called a cab for us and told me, "This may sound strange, but I'm only doing this because I care about you, so don't think wrong of me. I'm going to take you home with me now. I have a comfortable guest room. I don't want you to be alone tonight."

I said nothing against it. Maybe I was just relieved at that moment that Zhan said that. Maybe I was glad not to have to be alone tonight.

We got in the cab and went to Zhan's place. He has a pretty big apartment, even with a terrace. He showed me the guest room, the kitchen, the living room and bathroom. Then we went to his bedroom. He laughed and said: "I would invite you to watch a movie with me, but the only TV in this apartment is in my bedroom. And I'm sure you wouldn't like it."

"Why not?" I asked him, confused.

"Oh, haven't you heard about this from your colleagues at the hospital? Well, I hope you don't think badly of me now, or don't want to be friends with me anymore. I like men." He told me.

"So what? Why should that bother me?" For me it was always something normal and so I didn't understand why he was worried. I suspected it from the beginning and it didn't bother me for a second.

"Well, many people have prejudices against homosexuality." Zhan said.

"Maybe so. But I do not. This is something completely normal for me. Love is love. So, I'd like to watch a movie with you." I finally said.

Zhan was happy that I had this opinion and to prove to him that I'm not afraid of being eaten by him, I hopped on the bed and made myself comfortable. I knocked on the seat next to me and Zhan laughed and shook his head, before he sat down next to me.

It continues on the next page...